Disclaimer: This post is about Sid so if you have something constructive to say then post otherwise please refrain, deep appreciated.
Hmm....Now you all must be thing what a peculiar title, I
know it took me forever to come up with because I wasn't sure how else to explain what I am saying 😆
Right now I was meant to make this post yesterday but never got the chance to till I finished my assignment, which is all ready to hand in tomorrow!😃
Right so I have completed my tangent I think I may continue to go off on one so just ignore them! 😆
Sid so much was shown about him yesterday, all I saw a battle within him, and he wasn't sure which battle he was winning. He let go of everything he was feeling yesterday during the fight he let go of all his anger at Armaan, of coming back late, of not thinking of the consequences when he left Riddhima, and then his love for Riddhima he spoke his feelings. He let it out in a fit of anger.
That fit of anger showed Sid so well it laid his soul bare, it showed that he never spoke his feelings unless some made him, forced him to he would keep all his feelings bottled inside him he would never show his pain and hurt to anyone. I could empathise with him so easily because his anger isn't frustration his anger is his pain, his numbness, his fear. He will never let anyone know his feelings if they are sad and pain filled, everyone will share his happiness but no will know his pain. I am exactly the same I can mask my pain so easily, my heart will be dying but I shall be smiling because no one ever knows what I am thinking or how much they have hurt me till I crack and everything comes out in frustration in anger and all I do is break down and cry because the pain has just kept on building up and when it is out you do feel relieved but it still hurts. He won one battle here but his turmoil didn't end.
Then he was there dressing his wounds, he let his pain out his feelings but there was still so much to be said, he took his decision based on rejection. He decided to take himself out of the game because he has been there once and has lost once, he can't lose again because the pain will be unbearable, he has convinced himself what he is doing is for her happiness, but he is doing this because if he can't face another lose in life. Here no one knows about him and Tam, I mean Sid has never told Riddhima because when he was telling her she ran away. Armaan wouldn't have a clue and well only his friends knew but no one else. He done everything, he even went to the airport to propose but it was too late so, here I am thinking that he can't afford to wait at the airport, to know the answer so he is just leaving because he can spend his whole life wondering but he can't spend his whole life rejected.
The rejection is evident on his face in today's pre-cap, when he got the papers, I mean they broke his heart and this was when he decided to get back into the game because people told him not to give up, this is going to seclude Sid even more from Riddhima. Riddhima feels he is leaving her but he wants to be there but can't tell her till he knows she wants to stay.
When he said no one needs him, it was heart breaking for him
because he saw everyone with someone Riddhima has Armaan, Tam has her husband,
Naina and Yuvi have each other, everyone is settled he is like who needs him,
no one. That's all he can see he can see that he can face the loneliness but he
can't face the rejection leading to it, he doesn't want anyone to say they don't
need him because that's what he fears losing people he cares about. He has
already lost a lot.
Anyways back to my title, Sid is competing with himself his child like heart who wants love and his man brain who is saying walk away before you are in even deeper. His mind is winning the battle but the heart is losing the war because the heart will never stop hurting even if the mind makes it believe it is happy. The pain will be there till the heart can win the war.
Hope my post has made sense.
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