SS: Duvidha

                She took a tentative step forward, fingers outstretched and looking as if she wanted to say something, but hurriedly turned, blinking back the pain in his eyes as he made for the hard mandir stairs.

                The slam of a car door could be heard and he turned, watching as Yug clambered out before gazing up at the mandir in wonderment; the expression in his face like that of a dying man who had found salvation.

                Not even a glance in Raj's direction as he hurried up the stairs, gaze firmly fixed on the frail figure of Vrinda silhouetted against the dusky light of the sunset.

                This was how it was meant to be.  The more sensible part of his mind berated the yearning part of his heart.  Vrinda-ji is happy.  And you're happy for her.

                Maybe if he said it enough times he could convince himself.

*****

Vrinda bit her lip, brow furrowed as she gazed at the retreating figure of Rajbheer-ji, belatedly realising that one hand was still outstretched, fingers quivering as they reached for some purpose; the rough texture of his cotton shirt or the hard calloused fingers that had clasped her own hand as he had helped her up the mandir stairs to meet Yug.

                Her husband leading her to meet her lover.

                She forced the hysteria down before it could escape her and scrubbed the salty wet cheeks.

The slam of a car door captured her attention and she felt the knots in her stomach tighten as she hungrily took in the sight of Yug; thinner, more battle worn than the last time she had seen him ' but still her Yug; looking at her with such wonderment that she felt as if she would burst in to flames if she couldn't graze the hard planes of his face with her fingers.

                That's what it was like being with Yug; mall raw need and intensity and the heady bliss of love.

                She swallowed against the lump in her throat, eyes darting to the lone figure retreating down the stairs.

                He was like an anchor in her otherwise fanatical life ' soft smiles and warm laughter.  He was her husband.

                Yug was almost upon her, reaching for her with eager hands and searching eyes but she gave a strangled sob, averting her gaze and clattering down the stone stairs until she collided with the comfort of his arms and felt as if she had finally found salvation.

*****

                He'd seen her expression; the struggle of emotions before she'd turned away.  It hadn't been the love that she bore for him, or the joy of seeing him, or even worry over conflicted emotions.

                No; he'd seen her expression and it had been remorse, eyes begging for forgiveness before she had whipped around; her dainty feet hurtling down the hard mandir stairs as the gauzy material of her dupatta struggled in her wake.

                He'd seen her expression and he watched numbly as her beautiful form enveloped Rajbheer in to a hug, head burrowed in his chest and arms wrapped fiercely around him.

                He should weep, scream, and send the glass of alcohol hurtling towards the nearest wall so that he could revel in his rage.  But then he would have to  show some emotion; some sign that he had felt the last of him shatter when he had looked in to those haunting grey eyes.

                It was ironic really, that the two people whom he had loved the most had clawed at his heart with vehemence.

                Dadu and Vrinda.

                Oh it was definitely ironic and he felt the laughter bubble in his throat, escaping with hysterical alacrity as he laughed at his own fate ' pushed out by his family, shunned by his love and alone as he stood amongst millions.

                He laughed at Dadu's promise of happiness, at Vrinda's shy admission of her love; and as Yug knocked back the last of the amber liquid; he laughed at his yearning for salvation.