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HOW YUDI EXPRESSED HIS LOVE

          On a very bright sunny day, yudi who lives in a small village in Rajasthan meets a very beautiful girl named Rani. He falls in love with her like we say "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT". Normally it is very easy for yudi to say something like "I LOVE YOU" but this time Yudi is quite unsure about the situation. The reason behind that is that Rani whom he loves is getting engaged tomorrow.  Rani is not happy with the marriage because she doesn't like the boy. In the evening while Rani is collecting water Yudi comes there and surprises her with a red rose. At first Rani doesn't know what to say but when he says that he loves her she is so happy and says that she wanted to say that to him since a long time. Ranis family comes to know about it when she refuses to marry the boy who was chosen for her. Her parents are not quite sure about it and refuse but when Rani and yudi say they would get married on their own without their parents permission they agree. The marriage is a blast and everyone is enjoying themselves. They live happily ever after.

 Entry: 2

 Jab pyaar saath ho

Our story starts on a sad note as RS under the influence of Rajkumari Nandini, Bhoomi and Kuwar Rudr has told Yudhister and Rani to leave the mehel for reasons unknown to us. This is a moment that happened in the day that followed their sad departure from the mehel.

Yudi and Rani had left the mehel looking back sadly. Yudi led Rani away as they both blinked back tears not because they cared about the money and position they were leaving behind but because of the pain the felt of being separated from their family whom they loved deeply. Each step they took away from them seemed like a stab to their hearts and they held on to each other taking comfort in each other's presence.

They made their way to a little apartment that Yudi had bought a long time ago with his own money which had made RS so proud and as they walked through the door Yudi remembered his father praising him for being independent and self sufficient and he vowed to make his father proud by doing just that in these hard times. He showed Rani around feeling sad that the small one bedroom apartment was all he could offer her at the moment.

Rani sensed his mood and grasped his hand leading him to the bare bed that sat in the middle of their small bedroom. She sat him down and only thinking of his comfort sat on his lap gently cupping his face with her hands forcing him to look at her.

"Kuwarji, aap yehi sooch rahe hai na kay aap hume kahan lay aaye aur hum idhar kaisay reh sakte hain."

Yudi just tried to turn away but Rani refused to let go of his face ensuring that he looked into her eyes while she said, "Kuwarji, hume lagta tha kay aap jaante hain kay hum aapsay kitna pyaar karte hain laikin shayad hum ghalat thay."

Yudi grew confused and grasping her hands said, "Rani yeh aap kya keh rahi hain, aapne humesha humara saath diya hai aur hume aapkay saath mein aapka pyaar nazar aata hai."

Ran smiled sadly and said, "Toh phir aapnay yeh kaisay sooch liya kay hum yahan khush nahin hongay. Kuwarji, jab aap humaray saath hain toh hum kahin bhi aur kisi bhi haal mein reh sakte hain. Hume sirf aapki zaroorat hai aur waisay bhi hum aapse shadi karne say pehle konsa amir thay. Aap fikar mat kijiye Kuwarji sab kuch theek ho jai ga." After saying this she pulled her hands away from his and put her arms around him hugging him close and Yudi feeling his heart lighten at her words pulled her close whispering, "Rani aap bilkul sahi keh rahi hain. Jab aap humare saath hain toh hume koi aur parva nahin."

They sat there in each other's arms thanking god for the other's presence in their lives and knew that they were stronger together because without each other they wouldn't be able to survive because their reason for living would be gone.

And so the days passed and they got through each day together, facing and overcoming hurdles until the day came when RS came to his senses. They were welcomed back into the mehel but their experience made them realize how much they needed each other and how much the other meant to them. This knowledge helped them become better people and exceptional rulers when they became the Raja and Rani and they passed on the importance of trusting and loving your partner to the generations that followed who took the advice and became exceptional rulers in their own right.

Entry : 3

A young girl ran through the fields with tears streaming down her face despite her trying to hold them back making her way to the small river at the edge of her village. She fell to her knees trying to control herself and didn't notice a small boy standing a little ways away throwing rocks into the river. He heard her cries and slowly walked over to her unsure of what he was supposed to do. He sat next to her until she finally noticed him. The girl scared of this silent stranger got up to leave but stopped when she heard him call out to her, his gentle voice soothing her fears. She went up to him and he asked her why she was crying. She told him about her father passing away as tears started flowing down her cheeks once again. The boy who felt strangely protective of her hesitantly touched her shoulder and said, "Agar hum kahe hay hum humesha aapka khayal rakhein gay toh kya aap itni udass nahin hongi na?" The girl surprised at his words just stared wondering why she felt so close to this boy that she had just met and why his promise to take care of her made her feel so much better and she nodded almost absently. The boy smiled and pulled a bracelet off his wrist and gave it to her saying, "Aap ishay humara vaada samaj kay rakh lijiye." The girl hesitantly took it and in return removed a ribbon from her hair and gave it to him. She started to say something when she heard a voices calling out to her and without explaining herself she ran away clutching the bracelet tightly while the boy called out to her to at least tell him her name. She shouted it out to him but it got lost in the wind.

The two didn't meet again after that day as the boy's family who had been on vacation moved went home and the girl became busy helping her mother at home. The seasons changed and the years went by until one day a woman walked around her room searching her jewelry looking for her jhumka's and her hand slipped accidently causing some of her things to fall off the table. She bent to pick them up only to look into the face of her husband who had also bent down to pick up the fallen items. She smiled at him as they both picked them up and a blush came to her face as their hands brushed and he grasped one tight as they stood. He put her things on the table and his eyes fell upon a bracelet. He picked it up asking her where she got it from and the girl remembering the little boy from so long ago told him the story. She told him about the ribbon she had given the boy, told him about how that boy had made her feel so much better with that promise and she told him that she knew that somewhere in the world he was looking out for her. Her husband smiled at her knowingly and without saying a word walked over to his bedside drawer pulling out a small box which he handed to her. She opened the box and nestled inside was the ribbon that she had given the boy a long time ago. Tears came to her eyes as she looked up at her husband who took the ribbon and box away from her and pulled her into his arms. She held on tight unable to believe that the man she had fallen in love with, the one that completed her in every way, the one who was her soul mate was the same boy that had made her feel so much better that day. She understood why she had felt an instant connection when she had met him and why she had fallen in love with him so easily.

Her husband wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around happy that he had found that girl once again, the one that he had searched for before giving up and having her become a memory. Their laughter echoed in the air as the two marveled at the fact that they had not realized that they had been living with the person that they had been searching for.

He put her down and pressed his lips against her forehead breathing in the scent that was uniquely hers wondering why he didn't realize earlier that it were the same as the young girl's scent. He moved his lips from her forehead and traced a path down to her cheeks and then to the corner of her lips and grabbed her hand as she tried to move away. He pulled her back against him and wrapped his arms around her as both their hearts started to beat a little faster. He picked her up and placed her on the bed and leaned down his breath mingling with hers as he said, "Humne aapse vaada kiya tha na kay hum aapka humesha khayal rakhein gay aur kabhi udass nahin hone deingay?"

His wife whispered, "Jee Kuwarji."

"Rani hum aapse aaj phir wohi vaada karte hain," and with those words he pressed his lips against hers sealing their promise once again.

Entry : 4

 Fighting her own Shadow

PS: in this story write wants you to guess the character on whom he or she has written about.

That'll be six fifty-five, Miss."
"Here you go, thanks. See you tomorrow," the young woman said, handing the driver several bills through the cab window.
"Goodnight, Miss." the driver replied. The window slid upwards, and the taxi disappeared down the darkened street, its chrome bumper shining in the artificial glow of the streetlights. The road was slick from a recent shower, and a slight wind disturbed the fragile ghosts of steam, which rose from the heated pavement. The young woman's eyes followed the taxi until at last it turned a corner and vanished into the night.
Her eyes lingered along the crowded row of apartment complexes lining the street in neat little squares, the occasional city-planted tree dotted here and there among the concrete sidewalks, the bags of trash lined up next to the curb. She was alone; the street was deserted, and not even the neighbourhood dogs were making their usual rounds tonight. She turned slowly and glanced up the perfect steps to her own building, and a tiny sigh escaped her lips.
She climbed each step wearily; the rigors of the day having taken their usual toll, and at the top she slipped her key into the lock, sliding back the deadbolt with a click. There was no mail in the mailbox (she never got any mail she thought with another sigh) and the evening's paper had been soaked through by the rain. She left it on the steps and went inside. The door shut with a final click, and the young woman entered the darkness of her home.
Inside, she stepped into the darkened entrance-way to place her briefcase on the floor, and dropped her keys and purse on the narrow table by the door. She switched on a small lamp at one end of the table and glanced at the antique mirror on the wall. Her reflection was dim, as the lamp did not throw much light, but still she could see the lines marking her face, as if she had been sleeping against a pillow for too long a time. The pale scent of dried lavender arose from a simple white vase at the opposite end of the table, and the young woman shut her eyes to block out the brightness of the mirror, as another quiet sigh escaped her lips. She did not feel so young anymore.
A moment passed before she opened her eyes, struggling to regain her composure, her detachment. Her eyes averted from the ancient mirror, she walked into the comforting darkness of the living room, and sat at one end of an expensive looking loveseat. Here she sat, never moving, staring out the living room window, which overlooked the deserted street she lived on. The last falling rays of the sun were streaming through the thick panes of the window, being twisted and distorted into ever lengthening shadows, which would drift across the wooden floor and collapse finally into an oppressive darkness at her feet. She didn't seem to notice.
The living room was decorated in what seemed to be a romantic style, but the once bright and flowery prints held a faded, saddened look to them, and the dust of disuse lingered in the air. The loveseat seemed distinctly out of place in this European setting; its black walnut trim and black crushed-velvet appeared to enjoy the sinister role given them. An antique brass phone sat upon a small oval table, but it never rang and most likely never would. Very faintly, in the background bars of a melancholy nocturne would drift into the room and disturb the luxuriant sadness, which pervaded it. Mingled with this was the constant subdued "tick, tock, tick, tock" of a mantel clock, counting off the minutes which spiralled into a blur.
For several hours, the woman never moved; she seemed oblivious to the dancing shadows and distant music, as if absorbed in the masquerade of a private dream. A few minutes after the mantel clock had finished chiming nine o'clock, the woman rose from her corner of the strange loveseat and walked unsteadily through the darkness into the kitchen. She flicked on the fluorescent lights, abruptly dispelling the evening into broken shadows, momentarily banished to the corners of the room.
The music had changed to a gorgeous valse brilliante, as the woman prepared her dinner, swaying in a wonderful rhythm about the room as the solitary violin swelled to grand heights above the orchestra. The music was louder now, though the woman had never touched the stereo; she listened intently, as it was her only company in the empty apartment. When she had finished her dinner the apartment was quiet once again, and the oppressive silence became the only sound to dance throughout the empty rooms.
The apartment was bathed once more in a deep darkness as she turned off the kitchen lights and entered her bedroom. Here she undressed and prepared for bed in a ritual which never changed from night to night: indeed, it had not changed in the countless years previous. When the muffled sounds of the mantle clock striking the hour reached the woman's bedroom she was already sinking into the world of dreams, and the darkness was complete.
A yellow cab pulled up in front of the woman's apartment building, as it did each weekday morning, at a little past eight o'clock. Soon after, a young woman dressed in business attire came rushing out, briefcase in hand, and, locking the apartment door behind her, hurried down the broken concrete steps. She gave a quick glance at the unending series of disorderly buildings running in a jumbled line down the street, and opened the cab door.
"Good morning, Miss," the driver said.
"Hi! How are you this morning?" she asked. The rest of their conversation was cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut, and the taxi disappeared amid the morning traffic moving slowly along the treeless streets.
Each day and night that passed never seemed to change; the cab picked her up and dropped her off without fail, the music played over and over, and still the woman sat in her loveseat while the shadows liver their brief lives at her feet. The woman would rise from her corner of the loveseat once the clock had struck nine, though each night that passed she waited a few minutes longer. The clock was growing old, running down, as the minutes disintegrated into a time that it could no longer measure.
One night the clock did not strike nine. The woman sat upon her loveseat in the overwhelming silence, and the darkness, awaiting an hour that would never come. When at last the night was done and the shadows of dawn began to dance on the wooden floor, the woman was gone. The only music which flooded the empty rooms was the broken sound of her weeping, and the crushed black velvet was wet with her bloodstained tears.

Entry : 5

Chup-Chup ke

Yudi steps out of bathroom holding towel in his hand. Rani is sitting in front of dressing table and getting ready.Yudi throws towel on bed and opens up cupboard door to find out his stuff. He is searching everywhere in cupboard but he is not able to find out. He just calls Rani, turns and stunned!!!!!

Rani is standing in white saree, wet hairs and gentle pearl jwellery. She is looking like
an angel. Yudi is memeserised looking at her beauty. He is not able to cotrol his feelings and he moves towards Rani.Rani realises that Yudi is getting closer to her and tries to move away from him. She is very much shy while she is moving away.But Yudi with all passion holds her hand and tries to come more close to her. Rani moves back and says to Yudi that door is open. But Yudi is just continued to get close to her and Rani stepping herself back. Continuing this, Yudi almost make her stand leaning against already opened cup-board. Rani's position is such a that person entering in room from outside cant see
Rani because of cupboard door. Yudi put his hand on cupboard rack to lock Rani. Rani realises that she cant move now.

Yudi playfully moves his fingers on her wet hair. Rani closes her eyes and feeling touch by her dream man. Yudi continued to move his fingers from her hair to her cheek.Then he holds Rani's face with his hand such a that his thumb is almost close to her lips. Rani opens up her eyes and looks at Yudi. Yudi starts staring at her lips.Rani got blushing colors in her eyes after realising Yudi's desire. Now she is not able to make direct eye contact with Yudi. Yudi realize her hesitance.But he is not able to control his feelings, he gives one passionate look to Rani.Then slowly he heads towards pink lips of his angel.

While sweet romance is going behind cupboard door, someone knocks on door. Yudi comes out of cupboard door. It is Saksham standing on door. He informs Yudi that he has arranged everything as instructed by Yudi. His car is ready. Rani is still standing behind cupboard door. Her position is such a that Saksham didnt realize that Rani is in room. For him it looks like Yudi was searching for something in cupboard. Yudi informs Saksham that he will be there shortly. Saksham then leaves.

Yudi gives mischevious look to Rani remembering sweet kiss just happened. Rani is also blushing remembering their chup-chupke romance. She looks at Yudi and comes out of cupboard with cute smile on her face. Yudi just holds cupboard door and put his head on door with so much questions in his mind, "What is really fact that make him love Rani more and more day by day?? What is really
that make him so passionate after so many days to marriage??". He then laughs on his own thought as he himself dont know the answer to this question.

 

 

 

One beautiful morning, Rani enters room with tea for Yudi. Yudi is just woken up and Rani offers him tea. Yudi tells Rani to get ready as they are going out for some work.Rani is surprised! She asks Yudi for what work we are going out? Yudi tells her just to get ready and not to ask too many questions. Rani realize that something is cooking in Yudi's mind.

Yudi-Rani are ready and comes near to car. Yudi tells driver that today he will drive today. Yudi-Rani heads toward their destination.After driving some distance Yudi stops his car at one point. Yudi tells Rani that they have reached their destination.When Rani steps out of car, she is surprised to see that Yudi has brought her for horse riding. Yudi comes near to Rani put his hand around her waist and then they move towards place. Yudi-Rani enters shahi shamiyana made for them to rest.They both sit on sofa. Yudi holds Rani's hand and says,

Yudi - Bahut din se hum soch rahe the ke aap ke saath ghodsavari par aaye. Par kabhi mauka nahi mila. Aaj itane dino ke baad ye mauka mila hain hume.
Rani - Kuwarji, aap ko ghodsawari bahut pasand hain na??
Yudi - Haan, bahut!! Pata hain jab bhi hum ghodsavari karate hain na aise lagata hain ki hawa se baatein kar rahe hain.Kudarat ki har khushi anand us raftar ke sang le rahe hain. Hawa, baarish mano ye puri duniya humare saath daud rahi hain.

Yudi is passionately talking about horse riding and Rani cutely looks at him realising the fact that Yudi is crazy for horse riding.Same time, one servant comes offers some eatables to Yudi-Rani. Servant tells Yudi his dress for horse riding is ready. Yudi asks Rani to wait for a while till he changes his clothes for horse riding. He leaves with servant for changing room.

After some time, Yudi walks out of changing room with all set for horse riding.  He walks near to his white horse.Rani is still sitting in Shahi Shamiyana and looking at Yudi. Yudi then climbs on horse. He moves his horse to getready for ride. While moving he gives one cute look to Rani and starts his ride. Rani stands up and moves forward.She is proudly looking at Yudi who is enjoying his talk with air with the ultimate speed. Rani is not able to take her eyes off Yudi, this time she feels proud on herself for having complete man in her life.

Yudi completes riding and give one shahi stop for his riding. Yudi looks at Rani and thinks something.
He comes down and goes near to Rani. Rani has cute smile on her face for her prince charming.
Yudi comes near to Rani and offer his hand to Rani. Rani gives one confused look to Yudi. Yudi insist
her to come along with him. Rani holds his hand and they both walks near to horse.
Yudi stops near to horse and asks Rani to join him in horse riding. Rani is now scared and she tells Yudi that she dont know anything about horse riding. How could she do that? Yudi says to Rani that there is no need to worry as he will be with her. Rani is still scared and confused what to do?

Yudi asks Rani to come forward and tries to hold horse. Rani is scared but still she moves ahead and try to hold the horse just for Yudi. But horse goes bit out of control.Now Rani is more scared. Yudi understands the situation and he controls the horse quickly. Rani replies to Yudi that she wont be able to do this.

Yudi then put his one hand on Rani's waist. He holds Rani's hand with another hand. He is almost holding Rani halfway in his arms now to making assurance to Rani "I am there for you". Then he tries to move her hand on horse. This time horse is standing calm. This gets his lips closed to Rani's ear and says, "Dekha, ye bhi pyaar ki bhasha samazate hain!". Rani starts blushing. Yudi then slowly moves their hand from horse and he tries to hold Rani completely in his arms. This time he really wants to stay close
to Rani and now he is completely holding Rani in his arms. Rani is feeling shy and tells Yudi that they are getting late for horse riding.

Yudi releases his hold and gives one cute look to Rani. Then he goes near horse and easily climbed on horse. He asks Rani to climb on same horse as well. This time Rani is confused and she tells Yudi that she wont be able to climb up as she is wearing saree. Yudi tells her to try atleast, he is there to hold her. Rani tries to climb but because of her saree she is uncomfortable and she stops. Rani tells Yudi that its really difficult for her and she wont be able to join Yudi in horse riding. Yudi then comes down and moves close to Rani. He holds Rani on her waist and lifts like lifting feather. He makes Rani sits on horse this time on one side. Rani is surprised and same time happy on how Yudi made her sit on horse.
Yudi then holds the horse and comfotably climbs on same horse.

Yudi is holding rope to control horse at the same time he has his princess in his arms. Its almost looking like dream sequence where prince charming is ready to take away his princess on beautiful white horse.Rani feels like her dream is complete that one day a prince will come on white horse and take her away with him. Yudi-Rani look at each other with so much love in eyes.Yudi gives one kick to his horse and prince and his princess heads towards wonderful journey of their lives.

Entry : 7

Nikki looked out of the window. She had heard footsteps outside her door, running towards the gardens. She had opened her door to see a flash of pink go round the corner. It had looked like Rani. Nikki went to the window and looked out to see Rani out there, running, calling Yudi's name in a panic. Nikki had stared, aghast, about to run out to Rani when she saw her brother step out of the darkness. Nikki could almost feel Rani's sigh of relief as she ran into Yudi's arms.

Nikki stepped away from the window, smiling at seeing her brother and bhabhi in each other's arms. She could see Yudi's face beaming with happiness...how wonderful that feeling must be, she thought. How amazing to have the ability to bring that smile to someone's face...to have someone who wanted to hold you like that. Her smile suddenly waned. She didn't want to be envious of her brother's happiness, she really didn't, but she too wanted...

She shook herself out of that thought. She wanted nothing. What could she want? She had a place to live, clothes to wear and her family around her. What more could she expect? She had no right to expect any more. She hardened her heart and went to pick up a book, she felt like losing herself in a story. Anything to distract the mind.

Suddenly something caught her eye. Something was out of place..she looked at the bookshelf, trying to work out what it was. The middle shelf was a large shelf, usually empty except for a flower vase which would have some simple flowers in it. Today however, the flowers looked different; unusual. She went closer to see.

The vase had a lot more green strands than normal, with a single pale pink rose nestled amongst them. It was an unusual shade of pink..Nikki took it out of the vase to have a closer look. The outside petals were very pale pink, almost white. The colour deepened towards the heart of the rose, the centre bud being a vibrant amaranthine. Nikki was stunned. She unconsciously lifted the rose to her nose. The smell was deep, soft, velvety. It smelt like raindrops and laughter and twinkling skies, like a shy hope on a gentle wind. She was speechless. How? Where had this come from? The flowers in her room were the one concession Raja Sahib allowed his widow daughter, but he had insisted to the servants that the flowers be subtle in their colour. The servants had gone one step further and usually the flowers in her room would be without fragrance and full of thorns. Nikki had always smiled at how well that summed it up. Just like her life, she had thought, the first time she had lifted one and a thorn had pricked her. Pretty enough to look at, but missing the essence of their being and destined to cause pain to anyone that came near them.

But this. This was different. From the outside, it could be mistaken for being the usual bland flower, for the outside petals were so pale that they were almost white. It was only when she lifted it and took a closer look did she see the colour vibrant and dazzling. Who could have, would have dared to leave her these? It had to be a mistake, a cruel mistake. A tear dropped out of her eye and onto her cheek. Such beauty held no place in her life. She went to put the rose back in the vase, making a note to tell the servants to replace it tomorrow. She did not want it there, a reminder of what she could never have. Just before she could replace it, there was a knock on the door.

Someone else had heard the running footsteps too. Someone who had been stood in the corridor, hidden amongst the shadows. Someone who had noted Nikki opening her door and had taken a step towards her, but Nikki had shut the door too quickly and he had stepped back into the shadows. He wondered if she'd seen the flower yet. How would she react to it? He had wondered if he had gone too far, but when he had seen that flower, he had immediately thought of her. Of the mask she was forced to wear, the one that she had worn so often that it didn't feel like a mask to her anymore. The flower, like her, was so different on the inside..such a contrast to what the world saw. He had seen the inside though. The reality behind the mask, the tears behind the smile. He had wanted to reach out to her so often..to wipe away the tears, to tell her she wasn't alone, that he was there. But he couldn't, he knew her instant reaction would be to withdraw back into her shell. She would think he pitied her, felt sorry for her.

But it wasn't that, not at all. He loved her. He had loved her all his life. He had loved her before he knew what love was, before he knew who he was, before he knew what she would be. He had loved her as they had grown up together, running to show her his new shirt he had received for Diwali, not realising she had helped to choose it. He had loved her as he realised what love was. He had cried silently when he heard of her marriage, though he knew that was the best thing to happen. He could not have given her the life she deserved. He had cried his tears and waved her off with a smile.

He had been torn apart when he heard she had been widowed, feeling as though his heart was being wrenched in two. When she returned to the palace, her face as pale as the clothes she wore, he had understood love. For all he had wanted to do was take her into his arms and protect her from the world. Shield her from the stares, from the whispered comments. He had wanted to smooth away the tears and bring back the smile. He had wanted to see her radiant again, her presence had always lit up a room. When she had returned to the palace, it was as though the light inside her had gone out. He had wanted to bring the spark back to her. He wanted to see her smile again.

He had, of course, held back, helpless. He had stood watching her being isolated from the family. He had watched her isolated from any occasion, barred from eating with the family. It wasn't much, but he never sat down to eat until he knew her plates had been bought back empty. He had often walked up to her door; wanting to knock...stopping himself just before his knuckle hit the door. But then yesterday, seeing the rose, something inside him had snapped. He had to know, he wanted her to know. Damn the consequences. If she felt the same way, even in a small way, he would fight the world. Either way, at least she would know how he felt, that she was not alone.  He wanted, needed her to know that she was not alone. Whether as a friend or more, he was right by her side. So he had bought 2 of the roses, not sure how he would get them to her, how he would tell her, but knowing that this was the best chance he would get. Yudi had told him of his plans, of the surprise that he had planned for Rani and Saksh wanted Nikki to have a surprise too. She deserved a surprise too, on this day of all days.

So he had snuck into her room earlier in the day and left her the one rose. He had not been sure, but something told him to leave one and take the other to her. Not having any other ideas, he decided to do just that. Now, the time had come. It was time to face up to his feelings, to make Nikki face up to hers. He wanted her to feel again, he would handle the consequences no matter what. He stepped up to the door, lifting one hand to knock on it gently.

She was surprised. Who would be knocking on her door at this time of night? No-one ever came to see her. Maybe BR was ill and someone had come to get her. Nikki ran to the door, throwing it open but the face of the other side shocked her. She asked anxiously "Saksham? Aap issi waqt yaha? Sab kuch theek...." The end of her sentence tailed off as she saw the rose in his hands. It was the copy of the one she was holding in hers. Saksh asked her if he could come in, and she stepped back automatically, stunned, allowing him in.

She asked again "Aap..yeh.." Saksh stopped her. He shut the door behind him and moved her away from it, towards the window. He didn't want their conversation to be overheard. Once they were safely in the room, he started to speak, taking a deep breath "Nahi Niharikaji. Sab kuch theek nahi hai. " He saw the panic on her face and immediately realised that was a mistake. He reassured her that no-one was in trouble or ill, he had just wanted to talk to her. Needed to talk to her. Nikki's eyes had again drifted to the rose he held in his hand. Her mind was trying to put the pieces together.

He could see her thinking. He didn't want to give her a chance to think too much, he wanted her to feel, to reply with her heart instead of her mind. He asked her "So I see you have received my gift" She was astounded "You left this? But why? I don't understand.."

"I knew you wouldn't" He replied with a warm smile. "Do you know what a pink rose signifies, Niharikaji?" She shook her head, confused. "A pale pink rose represents grace and gentleness. A deep pink signifies gratitude. I wanted to give you this one rose, both pale and deep for you are the essence of gentleness. I am grateful to the Gods for having given me a chance to know you, to have you as part of my life.  Pink also because it symbolises a love hidden and hopeful. But today the hope is taking a chance. Nikki, I want you to know, no, I need you to know, that I want nothing more than to live with you by my side, as my wife" Nikki gasped but Saksh continued "I know what you are about to say, but you have to know I don't care. I have watched you all these years Nikki. You have put stone over your heart and forgotten how to live. No, that's not true. You haven't forgotten, you were forced to forget. But I can't see you like this. My Nikki had a smile that would light up a room. Her presence would be the only decoration needed at any occasion. Her laughter would be as sweet as music and heard as often as raindrops in the monsoon. I want that Nikki. I want her back. Please won't you come back to me? Let's go laugh in the rain again.." He beseeched her. Nikki was stood motionless, emotions whirling around in her heart.

Saksh could see her turmoil. She started to reply "Saksham, yeh aap yeh kaisi baat ..hum vidhwah hai" he stopped her. "I know all this. It doesn't change what I'm asking you. Please Nikki, pleasetake the stone off your heart. Listen to what your heart is telling you. What my heart is telling you. I know you understand it, you have always understood it. We have not needed words. Please.."

Before she could say anything more, he moved to the CD player that was on the table. He hoped no-one had moved the CD he had left in there earlier and pressed play quickly. Nikki rarely listened to anything so he was sure it would be a surprise to her. Suddenly the music played..the notes gentle. Nikki stepped back in surprise. Saksh lifted a finger to his lips, indicating that she listened for a moment.

"...in dino, dil mera, mujhse hai keh raha
tu khaab saja, tu ji le jarahai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi mohabbat.." 

The song played on. Tears escaped from Nikki's eyes. She looked over to Saksh, who also had a tear on his face

"berang si hai badi zindagi kuchh rang to bharoon
main apni tanhaayi ke waaste ab kuchh toh karoon
jab mile thodi fursat, mujhse karle mohabbat
hai tujhe bhi izaazat, karle tu bhi mohabbat"

The wall around Nikki's heart started to crumble. Her mind was outraged. It wanted to push Saksh out, out of her heart and her mind. He was crossing the line, going too far. He was taking advantage of her.

Her heart was screaming out to him. Of course she had always loved him. Always. It was just now that she realised that. But how? It wasn't possible. She was a widow! How would Raja Saheb ever handle this? No. She couldn't. But then, didn't she deserve happiness too? Didn't she deserve love? She did! She wanted to be in Saksh's arms, the arms he was holding out to her right now. The arms that she knew would be safe. Unconsciously again she took half a step towards him before hesitating.

Saksh saw the half movement and smiled widely. She did!! She loved him too! That was all he needed, all he wanted to know. But first he had to convince her to take the rest of the steps herself. Once she had come to him, he would handle the rest.

He stretched his arms out further towards her. "Please don't be scared Nikki, how I love you. I've always loved you, and will always love you. Please don't be scared. I won't let anyone or anything hurt you..we will face the world together"

"I'm not scared, not really" Nikki sighed in relief. He'd understood her hesitation immediately. A small smile broke out through the tears as she ran into his arms wordlessly. He closed them around her, locking her close to him. They fitted together as though they had been made for each other. Both cried, unable to believe that they were finally here.

Entry : 8

Love Will Eventually Find Its Way

Bhumi sat in the privileged waiting room immersed in a cloud of worry as she remembered the events of the night before. She entirely blamed herself for the accident and felt tremendously guilty. But what ate her up her the most was that she came out with only a few scratches while Rudr ended up being hospitalised having fractured his right knee. She may hate Rudr, she may have wished his downfall but she never truly meant it. Closing her eyes, a little tear rolled down her cheek as she obliged to her mind forcing her to remember it all once again.

Flashback
"Rudr, I was thinking, we've been slaving away for months now trying to build back Pitaji's trust but so far it's got us nowhere. We've given our social lives the backseat for far too long, time to bring it back to forefront and what a better way than to go clubbing. What say? "
"Have you gone crazy? If Mom or Pitaji ever find out'you really want to go and live with those wild people again? The thought of, what were their names again? Yes, Champa and Chameli, makes me squirm!"
"Oh, come on Rudr, we both know that Pitaji'll never confide his darling secrets to us so why bother? I'm going clubbing and that's that. If you want to join me then you're free to do so."

Later that evening, Rudr sat ready and waiting for Bhumi. She finally made an appearance. Dressed in a plain black, strapless mini dress with minimal jewellery and a silver clutch bag that matched her sandals, Rudr had to admit to himself that she was looking stunning. Bhumi registered the fact the Rudr was impresses and walked past him giving him the 'I know' look.

They went down to their favourite joint where they met with several friends. After such a long time they were able to be free, to laugh and enjoy till their heart's content. They gossiped, drank and danced the night away until Rudr became time conscious and decided that it'll be best to head back to the Mahel. Bhumi was heavily drunk. He also had doubts if he should be driving back home and cursed himself for not bringing the driver. Somehow managing to seat her in the car, he start their journey home. His eyesight was not up to scratch and his head felt very heavy under the influence of the drinks. Bhumi wasn't helping either; she blasted on the radio and burst into unending rounds of karaoke. This greatly distracted Rudr and before either knew it, they were harshly being tumbled around screaming for their dear lives.

Present
Bhumi apprehensively walked into Rudr's room with her head stooped low. She found it extremely hard to look into his eyes; she didn't want his pain to be confirmed so she stayed glaring down. Rudr found this amusing, "Something interesting on the floor?"

Bhumi looked up and met Rudr's eyes. He seemed to be his normal self. How could that be? Here she was, agonizing over his well being and here he was with a smile on his face, provoking her into yet another argument. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean'sorry, what did you ask?"
Rudr snorted, "You not listening? Typical. And did you just say sorry? Never thought I'll live to the day to hear you say that."
"Oh, don't worry, I haven't softened up. I just thought I'll let you be, just for today." Still standing next to the door, Bhumi lowered her gaze again and twiddled her thumbs. Quietly she said "Rudr, I am sorry."
Rudr questioningly looked at her only to be surprised by the fact that she was genuinely looking apologetic. No, someone must've brainwashed Bhumi into this. Her? Apologising? Never! "Bhumi, you feeling alright?"
"Thought you wouldn't believe me," Adding flair back to her attitude, "To tell you the truth, I can't believe it myself. But I've said it once and I'm not saying it again."
"Nurse me back to health and I'll think about accepting your apology."
"What? No way!"

A month passes where Bhumi ended upcoming into the hospital everyday to see that Rudr recovered as quickly and swiftly as possible. It was a major burden. She hated having to feed him, help him move and even on several occasions help him dress as well and didn't understand why everyone in the Mahel forced to her to do so when there were nurses to do just that. After a while she refused to do such menial jobs and demanded that Rudr be kept a personal nurse. However, it was still required of her to go so she went only to give him some bitter company. They argued and cursed each other until nothing else was left of them. After that they either sat in silence doing their own thing or slept.

Some days however, the day would pass differently. The Doctor started Rudr's physiotherapy. Bhumi was observant of Rudr's pain and once again the wave of guilt would hit her. She would unexpectedly help Rudr by telling him to stop when the pain was too much or by holding his hand. Those days she would return back to the Mahel and lie down in bed thinking why his health mattered to her so much and why she was helping him so affectionately. She would rest with the idea that she had to do it but somewhere deep in her mind she knew there was something else, something she was to scared to surface.

Rudr wasn't oblivious to Bhumi's concern over him. He was always pleasantly shocked too see her like this but he would never convey it to her. Nevertheless, every now and then, he would stealthy steal looks at her when she was reading a magazine and noticed tiny things about her like how soft her cheeks seemed or how her eyes would always glint when she read some juicy gossip. She started to take care of all the little things like making sure he had a jug full of water besides him or that his crutches were always within reach. More and more he found it wrong to pilot her into petty arguments and as the days passed by they ended up talking to each other like two friends would. Late at night Rudr would sometimes speculated on why this was so too. Was he starting to develop feelings for her?

Soon it was prescribed that Rudr should start putting weight on the leg by walking without the aid of the crutches. This was the most painstaking task Rudr had to take on but he didn't want to belittle himself in front of Bhumi so he continued to exert his weight until he lost his balance and tumbled forward. If it wasn't for Bhumi, Rudr wouldn't have known what would've happened next. "Rudr!" she screamed and quickly held onto his shoulders breaking his fall. Laying him back into his bed she protested. "What's the need to overdo it? What are you trying to prove? That you're a weak idiot? No need, I already know that!" Rudr just stared at her as she continued to fuss over him, plumping up the pillows and fixing the covering on his bed. More than the fear of falling, he received more of a shock when he felt her touch his shoulders. The touch sent him out of this world, a feeling he never experienced before. He tried to remember how it felt again by extending an arm to touch hers in the hope that the one second memory would return but just then Bhumi turned to walk away. He called out to her, "Bhumi?" She turned around, "Thanks". Bhumi just smiled and left the room. After a minute or so she popped back in saying "If you need anything, you know my number" and left once again to return the next day. Rudr just stared at the door in amazement.

The days only got better for them. Bhumi would come in and sit next to Rudr instead of the sofa at the end of the room and stay there the whole day. They would speak endlessly without getting into any major arguments and would talk about anything and everything: finding out things about each other like likes and dislikes, gasping at their secrets, laughing at their past or sometimes even crying due to laughing so much. Slowly, Bhumi relieved some of the nurse's duties and took it upon herself to feed him his medication or meals. Rudr just sat back and watched Bhumi evolve in front of him. Was this the same Bhumi who couldn't see beyond anyone or anything besides herself? In fact, was this the same him?

As the physiotherapy continued, so did Rudr's struggle. He was more or less recovered but the pain in his leg just wouldn't subside. One day the physiotherapist had to rush away on an emergency and Bhumi ,who was always present during the sessions, knew the drill so was able to relieve the Doctor. She went over to Rudr and extended her arm for Ruda to use as a support. Rudr marvelled at how close Bhumi was to him, he could feel her warmth which sent an unexplained buzz through him. He held onto her arm and exerted his weight on it to help him take his next feeble step but found Bhumi crumbling under his load due to her petite frame. "Rudr, it may be better if you hold me around my shoulders".
Rudr's eyes widened, "Are you sure?"
"It's the only way if we're to do this". Rudr slowly put his arms around Bhumi. He was so close that he was able to smell the jasmine fragrance of her hair. He closed his eyes and took in a good sniff before Bhumi turned her head and met his eyes.

Only a breaths distance away, an electrifying impulse ran through Bhumi when Rudr placed his hands on her touching the bare skin just where her neck and shoulder met. She quickly looked away not allowing her growing emotions to develop which made Rudr come out if his reverie as well. All these confusing emotions greatly disturbed Bhumi. She couldn't quite understand why her heart started to beat faster or why she suddenly felt so hot? Why did she find it so difficult to hold his gaze? All of a sudden, due to Rudr's pressure, Bhumi's heel gave way and she toppled sideways. She reached out for Rudr but she knew she was too late. Closing her eyes, she anticipated the fall but it never came. Instead she found an arm closing around her bare waist jerking her to a stop. Opening her eyes, she looked to see looked at her saviour.

Rudr worryingly looked at Bhumi but as soon as he acknowledged that she was alright he looked into her eyes and froze in time. A tickling awareness ran through Bhumi's body as Rudr tightened his hold on her waist. Ever so slowly he drew her closer and not once losing eye contact. It was as if they were magnetised to one another destined to meet and stay close. Rudr noticed a strand of hair bothering her face. He raised his right hand and placed back the aloof bunch of hair, taking the opportunity to stroke her cheek with the back of his hands. It was as soft as it always seemed. Bhumi closed her eyes and her breathing shortened as she took in his touch while Rudr looked on finally being able to release his new found passion.

Once again, life didn't allow them to explore their feelings when suddenly the physiotherapist came in. They hastily disentangled themselves from each other while the doctor took over. Bhumi stood away feeling uneasy. Rudr noticed this and wanted to take her into his arms again and comfort her but was helpless with the doctor with him. Finally, with the awkwardness increasing, Bhumi decided it would be best if she took leave saying that she'll return tomorrow. Rudr willed with all his might for her to change her decision, all he wanted was just a few more seconds with her but before he knew it, she was out of the door.

That night, they both lay down in their respective beds elating in their golden moment of togetherness. The fact that they both were able to relish their affection with neither stopping the other lead them to believe that maybe, just maybe the other felt the same and going through the same dilemma. Now the question was what would happen tomorrow when they meet? Would they ignore what just happened? The rest of the night passed with them deep in their thoughts and sleep did not catch up until the early hours of dawn.

Rudr woke up the next day to find Bhumi sleeping in the chair besides him with her head resting on his bed. She looked so peaceful. With the back of his right hand, he gently caressed her cheek, closing his eyes as a sensational relief ran through him. He stroked her soft hair savouring the beautiful moments the spent together until he felt her stir. He immediately removed his hand but he knew it was too late by the inquiring look she gave him. "Umm, there was something stuck in your hair so I was just removing that. All gone now." Bhumi knew that Rudr was lying but she didn't probe him further. So this is how it was going to go, they were going to ignore what happened? A part of her wanted him to tell the truth and get it out in the open but another part of her wanted all this to stay lurking in the dark. With a heavy heart she informed him, "Rudr, Dad called this morning saying that Mum's not felling well. He wants me to visit her."
He looked at her in disbelief, cursing his bad luck. He was just considering on how to carry on where they left yesterday but her news blew out the opportunity. Composing himself, he simply asked "When do you leave?"
"Tonight"
"When will you return?"
"Not sure. Not until I know she's feeling better. I've got permission from Pitaji and CR, just need to know if it's ok with you."
Rudr couldn't believe his ears, she was seeking his permission? He started to swirl in a whirlpool of emotions. He meant that much to her? He was that important?  "Of course you can go, no need to ask me. Besides, if I said no, would that stop you?"
Chuckling, she looked into his eyes and saw his disappointment. She didn't want to go either but things weren't in her control. "I'm sorry but I have to'I'll call everyday to see how you're getting on."
"Of course, and till then, I'll gain my comfort from one of the nurses here" and he gave her a wink.

The goodbye was a terrible ordeal for both of them. They felt like they were leaving forever when they knew that it won't be long before they would meet again. They had grown so used to meeting each other everyday that the thought of not seeing one another sent a pang through their hearts. Bhumi wanted to say goodbye in the most loving way possible, she wanted to hug him dearly, make him understand that she's sorry and that she'll return as soon as possible but all she could suffice was a measly "Bye" and left through the door. She waited outside the room feeling ridiculous at not being able to do more. Rudr also wanted to much more than just reply back to Bhumi's farewell. He simply held onto her hands, wished her a safe journey and told her to call him once she reached there. He watched as the last glimpse of her was out of the door and silently praying that her mum got well soon.

It was at least a month before there were any signs indicating that Bhumi's Mum's health was returning. In that time, Rudr was all fit and recovered and back in the Mahel again. He decided to help Yudi with his daily business thus gaining experience and also slowly the praise of RS. Bhumi was ecstatic hearing this piece of news and congratulated him for his achievement. She and Rudr conversed over the phone or sent each other numerous texts for hours every day and sometimes late into the night as well. Rudr was her support in helping to cope with her mum and she was his in helping to cope with his lonely nights.
"Bhumi, I was thinking, now with your mum's health much better than it used to be, maybe you should start thinking about returning back here?"
Bhumi noticed how hesitant Rudr was asking this. "I was thinking the same thing. In fact, I was thinking of you actually coming down here. It's been a while since you last met my parents and it would look much better if you picked me up rather than me just hopping over. What do you think?"
"It's a brilliant idea! Ok, I'll come tomorrow lunch then?"
"Great! Mind you don't drive though, not sure about your knee yet."
"Care about me that much?"
"No, just want a safe drive back home!"

The next day Rudr woke up early and kept looking at the time for it to quickly tick by. He too made sure that the Mahel was magnificently done up, especially their room. Tonight, if all went to plan then he and Bhumi would start a new chapter in their lives. He left early in the morning with two cars, one bearing gifts for Bhumi's family and the other for him to ride in. Meanwhile, Bhumi got dressed in her grandest sari and jewellery and sat in front of her dressing mirror making sure she was looking her best. She mulled over different scenarios on how their reunion was going to turn out and couldn't help but smile endlessly on how all of them turned out happily. She received a text from Rudr reading 'On my way, can't wait!' Bhumi blushed, if this was her state now, what would become of her when they actually met? Just then a maid came in informing her of terrible news "Rajkumari Bhumi, I've been told to inform you that a royal car has been found buried a few miles away under a mud land slide."

What started out as a pleasant journey for Rudr, didn't end as one. Out of nowhere the storm found its way with its monsoon type rain. It became increasingly difficult to drive but Rudr couldn't abandon his travel, he had to see Bhumi. But catastrophe struck when the car with the gifts, which was driving ahead, suddenly ended up being buried under a mountain of mud. Rudr and his driver successfully rescued the other driver but in the process his phone fell out of his pocket and got lost in the slurry. With the car stuck in the middle of the road they were left with no other option but to enter his car and find another route to Bhumi's Palace.

As soon as Bhumi heard the news, her world started spinning. Her mind reeled with all sorts of questions, ones she tried to block but no matter how much she tried, they seeped through. "Surely it's not Rudr? Not again? But what other royal car would be en route this way? How was he? Was he as lucky as last time? No, nothing's happened to Rudr, I won't let anything happen". She hesitantly picked up her phone and repeatedly tried to connect to Rudr but was unsuccessful each time. With the lack of information she started pacing her room fidgeting with her fingers, a permanent worry frown sported on her face. What was she to do? Sit and wait for him not to turn up for her doubts to be proved true? No, she can't, she had to go out and look for him herself. She turned around heading for the doorway but just stopped and stared at it.

There he was, hair slicked back, completely drenched form the rain. "Rudr, you're 'you'I thought'". Seeing her distressed, Rudr slowly walked towards Bhumi and stopped a steps distance away from her. Tears started to spill down her cheeks. She couldn't make the words come out right. She opened and closed her mouth to talk but couldn't sort the words into coherent sentences. Rudr reached out with his hands to wipe away her tears but that was all Bhumi needed to land herself in his arms. She came into the hug so hard, so fast and so unexpectedly that Rudr momentarily lost his balance and staggered a few steps back. It killed him to see her in such a state. He stroked her hair while she sobbed her grief into his chest. He then pulled her away and cupped her face into his hands stroking his thumbs on both her soft, tender cheeks wiping away her tears. With tears starting to swell in his eyes, he placed a kiss on her forehead and then brought his forehead down to hers. Closing his eyes allowing one tear to escape, he confessed, "I love you too."

Bhumi's eyes opened with shock. Rudr poured his gaze down them allowing her to see the truth for herself as he couldn't trust his voice anymore. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that her lips were trembling. Before he knew it, before he could stop himself, a force took over him and he lowered his head a little and laid a little kiss on her delicate lips. He then withdrew to see her take on his brave move and was satisfied with what he received.

Bhumi, who saw what was coming, closed her eyes awaiting his lips. She felt him withdraw but still kept her eyes closed. Instead, her breathing shortened and deepened. Before she knew it, Rudr was passionately kissing her again and Bhumi finding the courage, reciprocated placing her hands on his waist. He then left her lips and finalled with a light, long kiss on her cheek. He felt how warm they had become and decided to stop and rested his forehead on her temple. Hoarsely whispering, he said "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?"
"Not longer than me."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
She turned to face him and ran her fingers through his wet hair "You're all wet. Let me get you a towel before you catch a cold".

Rudr knew Bhumi was looking for a reason to run away, he knew she was just as terrified to face the situation as he was. Just as she turned away, he grasped onto her hand, covered the little distance she created, picked her up into his arms, walked over to the sofa and sat down with her in his lap. He affectionately kissed her neck while she played with the tips of his hair at back of his neck. Gaining some control over his raging spirits, with a smirk he said "You're quite heavy you know?"
"Rudr!" she exclaimed and teasingly punched him on his shoulder.
Chuckling, he held onto her hands and deeply looked into her eyes, "You still haven't answered my question".

With a sigh, Bhumi left his lap, walked over to the stereo and played the CD that was already in. "I don't really know how to say it but I'm hoping you will understand with this song." She walked back to him and settled down besides him, resting her head on his shoulders, hugging his biceps. Rudr, in turn, closed his eyes and rested his head on top of Bhumi's as a familiar song drifted into his ears (Allison Krauss - When You Say Nothing At All).

When the song finished, he was left breathless. His heart swelled with an unexplained emotion, sending him to cloud nine and beyond.  He put a finger under her chin, lifted her head and glared into her eyes. "I'm glad you didn't answer my question". There started the conversation that they both were dreading. Rudr's heart melted to hear how afraid she was on revealing her feelings, worried on the fact that she may be rejected. Bhumi too was overwhelmed to hear that behind the obnoxious face he kept displaying that there was a soft and caring guy who loved her till the world's end. For the rest of the afternoon they continued to talk, snuggling close to one another, absently playing with each other's hands, releasing their caged feelings.

Evening has arrived, Rudr sat on the sofa while Bhumi slept with her head on his lap. He stroked her hair, helping her to relax and sleep while he continued to look at her beautiful face. Even in her sleep she had this aura about her that kept him entranced to her. Nothing could compare to the elated feeling he was feeling now. It didn't take him a moment for him to vow to himself that he would quickly settle down to build his own happily ever after with her. His life was back on track, his parents were once again pleased with but most importantly of all, he finally found the love of his life. It took time, it tested his patience and funnily enough for him, it came after marriage, a long time after marriage but he got there in the end. They both did. You know what they say; love will eventually find its way.