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Reliving IPK
Episode 124
Kay kar rahi ho tum ...
In the dark emptiness of his mind, words tumble ... The letters refusing to form a coherent chain ... The words evaporating ... refusing to reveal themselves ... And then, from his gut ... five tightly strung words, unwind and purge to the surface.
Five brief words, he links together with all that is within him ... They speak volumes ... They speak of a stunned paralysis of his mind ... Her sagai ... They speak of a dense fog that he is struggling to emerge from ... How ??? They speak of the a fear flooding his eyes ... What are you doing ? They speak of a helpless want constricting his heart ... How can you do this to us ? They speak of an acidic anger rising in his throat ... How can you risk everything ! How can you allow this ! They speak of a silent scream rising from his gut ...
Kya kar rahi ho tum ...
A man who has hidden behind dispassionately erected facades his whole adult life, who had nurtured and ferociously guarded his private angst, his weaknesses, his vulnerabilities behind a carefully cultivated harsh exterior, steps up from behind the wall and faces her for this one brief unguarded moment ... This is as naked as he will ever get ... The most vulnerable she will ever see him ... He lays himself bare ...
In one haunted utterance, his words uncloak, for her ... for him ... the truth he has been shielding for months ... The unreachable depths and the limitless breadth of his involvement ... This is as unreserved, as explicit, as verbose as he is going to get. This is his admission ... His Farka padta hai ... Kya kar rahi ho tum ...
If her own heartbreak could have allowed her, she would have heard the reams of emotion pouring out from these five terse words ... The words say to her ... We both know, know about you and me ... Know about this thing between us ... I know what you feel, because I see it ... My desire, my desperation, my hunger mirrored in your eyes ... You know, because I can't let you go ... I can't last an hour without seeing your shakal, a day without hearing your voice ... What are you doing ! What game is it you are playing !
But she hears none of it ...
Hum kya kar rahay hai ??? She ??? How can he ask her that ... How has she ended up, here, like this ?
The day had started badly enough. Buaji had threatened her with dire consequences if she did not come back with the ring ... She had discovered she was being duped by Lavanya, Anjaliji and even Naniji and had decided once and for all, to leave for good.
But Hari had other plans ...
Hari Parkash had rushed in front of her and had hurriedly latched the door, splaying himself against the it, blocking her path. She had been baffled by his boldness and had ordered him to move ... Hatiya. He had responded, rather charmingly, Nahin Khushiji, hum aapko janay nahi denay ... She had threatened Hattiya, Varna ...
Varna? Naniji had prompted from behind her, a pink feathery boa stretched in front of her, her eyes dancing, before her hips can ... All the four women had begun an impromptu performance ... Dancing and prancing, they had dragged an open mouthed, stunned Khushi in ... Their arms flaying wildly, their hips swinging boldly, they had lewdly lips sync to Ooh la la ...
He had walked in to see what the commotion was about ... His phone had slipped from his hands at the sight in front of him ... His Nani ... His Di ... dancing ... And Khushi ... His heart spins with her ... He sees her reluctance slip away. She turns to kiss the man holding her. Her arms tight around him ... His eyes smile at her carefree abandon, her infectious joy, her provocative flirting ... and her jerky thumkas ... He will make her dance one day ... His eyes promise his heart ...
Thankfully, Anjaliji had found the ring, but it was with him ... She had laughed at Khushi's hesitation to go into Chottay room ... Kha thodi na jayaygay Aapko ... If only she knew, Khushi had said a little prayer and entered the devils lair ...
He had been expecting her. She had walked in and rather politely, extended her palm out and asked him to give her the ring he had found, which he would have, had he not remembered her infuriating sassiness in the morning. She had mouthed off, not let him get a word in sideways and had walked off in a huff, only to turn back and give him some more of her harmless, furious glares ... It had been a wonder that she had not walked into a wall ...
Payback time Khushi ... What had she thought ? She'd just waltz in, demand the ring and he would just hand it over ? Accha ? Should have thought of this before she messed with Arnav Singh Raizada ... What had she said ? Kisi say mafi mangloongi, par aap say nahin ... Well she wants the ring, doesn't she ?
Ring chahiya ? He had held it up for her to see, his chin had jut up, prompting her, Sorry bolo ... He had ordered, a little playfully, but a nonnegotiable behest had coated his words. His eyes had glinted in wicked delight ... He was going to enjoy this immensely...
She had been outraged again. Why should she apologize ? He had been the one who had not being paying attention ... He was the one who had barged into her and not the other way around ... She had been right in not apologizing in the morning and she was not going to do it now either. Baas, Aap humara angoothi lota dijiay ... She had demanded, extending her hand out, refusing to meet his gaze.
His temper had flared red hot, Nahin milaygi ... He had flung at her. His eyes flashing, he had dug his heels in. She has been batameez all over again and he had been furious. And now, he had pronounced, she was not only going to have apologize, but she also has to hold her ears and beg to be forgiven.
He had stood up, had known this ring is important for her. He had known she had been frantic looking for it. There had been no doubt in his mind that he has her cornered. He had advanced, holding the ring ... Meray liya iss ring ki koi kimat nahi hai, par tumhary liya yeh bahut important hai ... He had questioned, raising his brow. Had benevolently given her time, Mein intazaar kar raha hoon.
The ring ... Important for her ? Not for her, at all, she had concluded silently. He had made it easy to walk away. Toh phi kartay rahiyay, she had thrown back at him, coz no matter how important the ring, it was not more important than her dignity.
She may have been able to best Arnav Singh Raizada every now and then, but there was no besting Buaji. Buaji had again employed her best weapon, guilt and Khushi had predictable collapsed under the weight of her gratitude.
She had, once again, ventured into his room. Kya hua ? Aab kuon aai ho ? He had barked in anger. Her steps had been hesitant, her eyes had softened with a hint of moisture, her head bowed, she had asked, Kya chahatay hai aap ? Tum acchi tehra janati ho ki mein kya chahata hoon ... Mafi maango, he had ordered blandly.
A gentle escalation, days in the making, circuitous in its wanderings, has brought them to this point. This encounter will mark their lives forever. It will knock the breath out if him, it will numb his soul, it will bring him to his knees. It will unmask him. It will follow her, it will haunt her and ultimately it will reveal her man to her.
Sor ... She breathes ... Her eyes softly blink to him her demeaning defeat, her utter helplessness ... He is unmoved. Uh uh ... Kan pakkhad kay ... He drawls, villainously, his head tilted back, his eyes sparkle with his perceived victory, his loose lips curl in smug triumph ... Every pore of his body, electrified ... He has her where he wants her.
She slowly lifts her hand to hold her ear. Sorry, she looks at him, the moisture that had watered her eyes, spills out, in one large drop.
In a flicker of an eyelid, a drop of tear, an enunciation of a word, his smile evaporates, his eyes blink his victory into oblivion ... He watches, a man transformed. A victory turned on its head, a triumph eviscerated, he has gone from an electrified oppressor to anxious lover in a blink of an eye.
Kittni bar bolna hai ? She inquires tearfully. Sorry, sorry ... She repeats. His answer sticks in his mouth, his lips move soundlessly. Sorry, sorry, she chants, her tears fall hard. He rises, slowly. Sorry, she lifts her hand to hold her other ear. He lunges forward to grab her hand. Khushi ... he soothes, his voice hoarse. Sorry, she endures ... Shush ... He hushes, reaching to grab her other hand ...
Both her hands held captive in his, he transforms once again. His eyes slide in self-reproach ... He is a callous bas***d ... A demeaning scumbag ... An unforgivable jerk ... He releases his hold on one hand and reaches for the ring, opening her palm gently to place the ring in the middle. All the while his eyes study her face. The ring is home, but not quite ...
She snatches her hand and tries to wear the ring. He trembling fingers struggle to slide it on. It jams, refusing to slip on. He watches and with an intrinsic, bold, unquestionable certainty that bespeaks of his Haq, he steps forward to hold her left hand. Her finger still carries a faded scar, his indelible mark on her. She is his. He takes the ring stuck in finger and starts to slide it on.
She watches, her eyes wide with bewildered shock. Specter of lost dream ... Her Rajkumar proclaiming his right ... But this dream was killed the night of Diwali ... By him ... By the weight of the ring he is attempting to slide on her finger ...
She is engaged. The words form in her front of her eyes for the first time. She is engaged ... She sees the man she is engaged to. This is wrong ... She pulls her hand away ... He is left holding the ring.
A conscious understanding of the moment dawns on him slowly. Her hand, a ring ... Her denial ...
They stare at each other in a thick silence ... Before she utters the words, he knows ... He sees it in the agitated denial of her head, her erratic breathing, her evasive eyes. She slides her eyes, struggling to form the word, still not meeting his eyes, she gasps deeply, Aap yeh angoothi nahin pahna saktat ...
His mind numb, his jaw slack, his frame frozen, he squints ... Explain. She looks directly and him and breaths ... Yeh humara sagai ki angoothi hai ... She watches the muscles of his face collapse, his breath drags from his loose lips to his lungs on a strangled silent gasp. The words refuse to come ... He tugs his head, Phir say bolo. She words it with her silence, her lowered head, her evasive eyes ... His jaw tightens, his nostrils flare, his eyes flash, his throat convulses and the ring slips from his numb fingers. It tumbles across the carpeted floor to land at his sister's feet. The ring seeks an unusual, but accepted compromise.
Di picks it up. What ensues is the culmination of the ring's fantastical, mystical journey. He watches, as his Di lovingly slides the ring onto her finger. Their song marks the moment. Its intonation, somber, its lilt deeply painful, yet a restrained, measured, understood joy ... Someday they will understand the significance of what just took place.
Doesn't mean a thing ... He had disdainfully discounted, not more than a few nights ago ... Tonight he stands, his words coming back in waves to haunt him ... He watches his claim on her being nullified ... A ring on her finger that is not his ...
A change in equation ... At some intrinsic level, even when he has continuously, vociferously pushed her away, he has anyways believed in the un-breakability of their inherent bond. She left for Hamesha, but had come back ... Discovered like a lost treasure in his closet. He severed all connections, Aaj say kya, abhi, is waqt say, tumhari shakal nahin dekhnai hai, tum say baat nahin karni hai, and again, she had come back, falling from the skies into his arms ... Not divine interventions, but a belief, that she too is as deeply, deeply entrenched in this thing as he is ... This thing that eats at him day and night ... That she too is going nowhere ...
And now, just like that, in a heart stopping instance, she is snatched out of his grasp ...
The ring in place, Di inquires her attachment to the ring. He turns to look, he wants to hear the words again. She says them, Yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai. Heartbreak ... Both on sides of the divide ... Her hurt eyes seeks him ... He will not allow it ... He will not let her see his pain ...
Di leaves excitedly, to inform every one of the unexpected good news ... She had just rejoiced enthusiastically ... Khushiji ki sagai ... Aapki shaadi ... Khush hona chahiya ... Words that hit him like piercing arrows ...
Di gone, her phone rings. She turns slightly to answer.
The swollen, turbulent river, breaks its bounds ...
Khushi ... He breaths ...
KHUSHI !!!!! He launches from the across the room ... His voice a strangled bellow ... He burns in a jealous raging inferno ... He cannot bear for her to speak to ... He strides across the room in a flash. Snatching the phone from her hands, his eyes glued to the phone, he holds it out of her reach. Yeh kya jar rahay hai app, hum baat kar rahay thay, she accuses.
His paralysis over, he roars, Mein BHI baat kar raha tha ... He has been talking for months ... Since the bloody moment she fell in his arms ... How is it that she cannot hear him !!! He is not the one interrupting their conversation ... Their life ... She is !!! And she's not just interrupting it ... She is stopping their conversation stone cold ... It is as if, she has turned her back to him and walked away ...
She does not understand ... Aap kya keh rahay hai, humay samjh nahi aa raha ... He stares at her ... The words evaporate again ... Moments fly ... And then slowly the words condense ... He says the words that he hopes she understands ...
Kya kar rahi ho tum ... His voice full of gravel, but steady, he questions with his naked eyes. Do you understand ... Tell me ??? They reason ... Tell me, They plead ... Tell me !!! They scream ... What part of this is not clear ... What part of you and me don't you understand ... Why is it you are doing this ... What are you condemning us to ?
This is similar to, but worse than when she was leaving for Lucknow for Hamesha ... His strangled ... Khushi tum asay nahi ja ...
The blockage over, his control in tatters, his mask slipped, his words tumble, one upon the other ... A uncontrolled jumbled mass ... Tumhari sagai ho gai ... Kasay ? Tum nay mjpujeh batan zaroori nahi samjha ? Kisi ko pata kuon nahi hai ki tumhai ...
Does she hear the Haq in his words ... Does he hear it ? Mujeh batan zaroori nahin samjha. His own impending engagement to Lavanya is not an issue even.
She is angrily incensed, how can he say these things to her ... Wasn't he the man who had said Tumhari koi amhiniyat nahin hai ... And now has the gall to ask her why she was engaged and why she hadn't told him ? Meri amhiniyat nahin hai toh ... Aap ko iss say kya Farak padta hai ?
Farak ... One terse word ... Loaded with a multitude of meaning ... It had started out its life on his lips as self-preservative vocabulary of one for who it matters the most ... I don't care... You are no different ...You don't matter... I don't give a damn...You mean nothing to me...
Since then, it has been patiently waiting in the wings, has made several fleeting appearances since the night it was first introduced, the night of the parking lot, Where he swore ... Mujeh kisi ladki say koi Farka nahi padta ... Tonight that word storms on to center stage and begins its gargantuan role.
Over the past weeks, the word had matured ... It has transformed ... It now is no longer a defensive tool ... It is an offensive weapon ... It is armed with a cold bloodied, fanatical, single minded, obsessive intent. Over the next few weeks, it will ambush, it will advance, it will attack, it will rage, it will crowd, it will muscle its way through a dense fog of emotions ... Trying to strip them of their cloak ... It wants them naked ... It wants them without a stitch of artifice ... Without the flimsiest veil of cover ...
He leaps at her, grabbing her by her shoulders to pull her to him, towering over her, his eyes flash, his jaw clenches, his nostrils flare... Mujhe kya faraq padta hai ? Mujhay faraq padta hai Damnit kyu ki m ...
Heartbreak ...
Say it ASR ... For her sake ... For you sake ... For our sake ...
Daily motion video ... Enjoy
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x10j8iz_ipkknd-full-episode-124-maha-episode_shortfilms
Cricket
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