Why doesn't everything work out the way we want? Why is it that we don't get who we want? Why does everything has to be so damn complicated? What does it take to prove to someone our feelings?Maan sat in his office thinking about the past events that happened a month ago. After that incident outside of her store, he never contacted her again. From time to time, his fingers would automatically dial her phone number but never got enough strength to push talk button. He just ends up starting at the phone with her number for hours and hours but not doing anything about it. Maybe this was just infatuation for her. Maybe they were not meant to be together but still he can't get her out of his mind.
"You like me because I fit your criteria to be your girlfriend. You don't like me you like my body"
Those words kept haunting him. Is he that shallow of a person to like Geet only because of her body? Why does he like her? What does he know about her? Nothing. He just have to admit that their worlds were not meant to be collided.
Geet looked outside her office window trying to forget everything from the past month. Her life was running smoothly until Maan showed up in it. It took her four years to forget him, to forget her college days, to forget the humiliation she was put through but he ruined everything. He ruined her hard work and made her remember what she never wanted to. Why can't she move on forward with her life? She has successful career, great friends and family and most of all she is engaged to someone who she knows will keep her happy, isn't that enough? Does she really need anything more then that?
Maan hasn't tried to contact her since last month but unknowingly her eyes goes to the phone that are waiting for it to ring, waiting for him to say her name. The feelings she had buried deep were slowly crawling back up from the grave. Can she afford to let those feelings surface?
"Geet time to go home"
"Coming Meera." Geet quickly puts on a smile as she turns around to face her best friend. Meera sighs and places her arm around her shoulder, supporting her.
"I know it will take time for you to forget but I know you will one day."
"I know Meera. I just want to go home."
"Well, you can't go home yet. We have birthday dinner to go to for Armaan remember?"
"oh yeah. How about I meet you guys there. I have to go home and change first."
"okay, see you there then"
"Cheers! To Armaan, happy birthday"
Geet smiled at her friends as one by one congratulated Armaan on his birthday. There was a new member to the group, Adi. Pinky's love interests. It turns out Adi works for Maan as his personal assistant, small world isn't it? No matter how many times she runs away someone from his world collides with hers. Geet comes out of her thoughts when she felt warm hand on top of her leg. She looks at Armaan who was sitting next to her, his hand slowly grazed her thigh while carrying on a normal conversation with the others.
I should be feeling something for Armaan now right? I should be responding back to his advances right? Then why am I not? Why do I freeze up whenever he tries to come close to me? I am with him, he is soon to be my husband, we have known each other for long but still I am not able to feel things I should be feeling, right about now. I gently take his hand away from my leg hoping he would understand but instead he held my hand tighty playing with my fingers. He gave me a wink as I looked his way.
"umm excuse me I have to go use the restroom"
I snatched my hand from his hold as I rushed toward the bathroom. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream and I wanted to run away from everything. I close the door shut as I tried to calm my beating heart. If his one touch makes me like this, what will happen after marriage? I will need to give my love and attention every husband desires and needs. Am I being fair to him? Till date, I haven't told him the truth about myself and about who I was. Is this what is holding me back from going forward? Maybe I should tell him the truth to help me move forward.
I take a deep breath as I opened the bathroom door. When I approached my table eveyone but Armaan was gone. He smiles as he walks toward me. I force a smile on my face, this might be the perfect time to talk to him.
"Everyone left."
"ohh okay. Armaan listen can we talk?" (I hope he says yes and after today I will let him decide on what to do)
"Actually, i wanted to speak to you as well. Lets go somewhere else and talk. I have a surprise for you."
"Shouldn't I be the one with surprises since its your birthday?" (This is the one thing I like about Armaan, no matter what he is always ready to put a smile on someone else's face. He doesn't care about himself at all.)
"You are my gift, why would I need anything else?"
My smile faded as I heard him say that. I felt guilty and unworthy for him because I am not able to reciprocate the same for him. I stayed quiet the whole ride not knowing what to say and mostly to gather my thoughts. I had to tell him now. I can't let this guilt hold me back any longer especially if I want to move on. He stops his car at the beach, why here didn't matter to me as long as we both were alone to talk. I slowly watched as Armaan rushed to open the door for me. I got out of the car waiting for him to lead. He places his arm around my waist as he led me towards the sand. We kept walking for two minutes when I saw a tent. Immediately, many things started running through my mind. Why did he brought me here?
"Geet I arranged this for you and for us. Come."
I shook my head yes as I let him lead me towards the inside of the tent. It was lit beautifully with flowers and candles. I saw two chairs in the middle of the tent, a table on the right side with wine already chilling and two glasses. Right next to the wine was chocolate fondue with strawberries on a platter. He gave a lot of thought into this.
"I know you are not comfortable displaying emotions in front of everyone so I thought why not here in this tent where no one can see us. Right?"
I sat at the chair opposite of him, I watched as he comes with two glasses of wine in his hand. I take one wine glass waiting for him to continue.
"Geet, we uhh have been engaged for a while now and I feel like we, as a couple, have gotten to a point where we should be right now. We both are so distant from one another and at times I feel like I don't even know you that well."
"Armaan, actually before you say something, I want to say something to you"
"No, Geet. Let me finish what I have to say first. Geet I don't want us to get married if we are not able to connect with each other yet. If we are like this now then this is what we will be even after marriage. I don't want to be just a namesake finance that the world knows. I want to be finance that you know. I want us to connect. I want to take our relationship to the next level."
"Meaning?" (Armaan takes away the wine from Geet's hand as he sits on his knees in front of her. He holds her hands pulling her closer towards him.)
"Meaning..." (He smiles...he brings his left hand behind her head pushing her head forward until both of their faces were mere inches away.) "I want to feel like we belong together. I want us to be comfortable with one another." (he whispers as he brings his lips closer toward her lips. Geet places her hands on top of his chest, she closes her eyes as she felt his lips on top of hers.
She pushes him away from her, this wasn't right.
"What are you doing?"
"Geet I am your fiance and i don't think this is something to be angry about."
"You don't have this right. When we got engaged I made it clear that I don't want any of this until we are married. I have to go" (She quickly gets up to leave when she felt a hold on her arm pulling her back)
"I don't have this right? Why dont' you tell me what is bothering you Geet? We are going to be married soon."
"We are not married yet. Armaan please I have to go. I can't do this."
"No, I want us to talk. Why don't you tell me what is in your mind?"
"Nothing. I just want to go home."
"Fine. Go home but know this Geet we won't be same anymore until you explain me everything. Until you let me inside that head of yours. Until you open up to me not as a friend but as your fiance. Go."
Geet runs out of the tent toward the beach. Tears escape from her eyes and no matter how many times she wiped them away, new one forms in its place. She ran and ran from her past, from her present and from her future until her legs gave out and fell onto the sand. I look at my engagement ring from Armaan before she was happy to be engaged knowing she would be moving on now this ring is like a burden. She can't be engaged if she can't open up. Is she meant to be alone? After a while, she gets up to walk home. She just needed to sleep and forget this.
Maan sat in his car as he watched Geet walk from the beach like a zombie. He wanted to go and talk to her but couldn't bring himself to do the same. He was at the same club where she was with her friends. When he saw her he forgot everything. He was so close to her but couldn't go up to her. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable so he just watched her from far. He didn't miss Armaan's hand on her leg, which only made his jealousy and possessiveness stronger. He could tell Geet was feeling uncomfortable which only made him more angry. His suspecion on Armaan grew when he told everyone to leave. He couldn't just sit there so he followed them making sure that Geet was safe. He just wants to hug and comfort her seeing her state but he knew one thing...she would not marry Armaan. He smiles to himself.
Book Talk
Aami Daakini
821