Part 19 - On the street where you liveArnav called Khushi again. She picked up on the first ring, which surprised Arnav.
'Khushi!'
'Arnav!'
They both sighed.
'Arnav? Please listen...'
'Say it! Please!' Arnav cut her off.
'Say what?'
'That you love me! Say you'll love me again!'
Khushi's breath hitched at the vulnerability in Arnav's voice. She closed her eyes and let his voice wash over her. She took a deep breath! She had made up her mind...
'I do love you Arnav! I know you love me too and it should have been just as simple as that, but it's not! We are different and if we continue this, we'll only end up hurting each other. We should think about our families too and how that would affect their equation. There is a huge history between our families and I don't want that ruined because of us. Our lives are too intertwined for us to be like this. So I suggest we remain friends and see what the future holds for both of us.'
'Khush! What are you saying? I already apologised! You know I blurt out crazy stuff when I'm angry. I...'
'That's just it Arnav! It's always you...your anger, your commitment phobia, your ego! I'm tired of being bounced about in this relationship! I need to focus on my life for now. I need stability, security and respect in a relationship. I admit I'm a bit insecure and you don't like that fact, but I can't help it. So anyway, I'm sorry. I won't be able to do this right now. Don't worry though, I will be around this time. I've promised my Devi Mayya that I'll be stronger for my family.'
'Khushi, please! I know I've been unbearable, but what I feel for you is real! We are real! Let' just sleep on it, ok? We need to clear our minds. I will come in the morning to drop you to the hospital. We'll talk more then?'
'I have a very early call Arnav. I should really get some sleep now. Good night'
And before Arnav could utter a word, he heard the click. She had hung up! Arnav felt that familiar rage bubble up inside him. How dare she!! But he took a few deep, calming breaths and tried to control it. He was scared again...scared of losing her, scared of losing control over himself and his life. He sighed and walked back to his house.
Arnav suddenly felt very lonely as he entered his house. As he passed by his Di's room, he had a sudden urge to talk to her, put his head on her lap and pour his heart out. But it was past midnight and he didn't want to wake her. Her engagement to Shyam was in 5 days and he didn't want to bother her with his problems. This was her time to be happy! She had waited too long for this phase in her life! He sighed! No! He had to fight his own battles and he had to fight his own demons.
* * * * *
Khushi was wide awake and tired of tossing and turning all night when her alarm rang at 4:30am. She pushed her duvet off and got up with a sigh. The minute she entered her plush Italian bathroom, the tears she was holding back ever since her phone call with Arnav, came gushing out! She stood under the cold shower fully clothed and cried a river. She cried for her love...her Arnav, she cried for the decision she'd made and most of all she cried for her shattered dreams...dreams of a happily ever after with her Prince Charming! She laughed bitterly at that thought...her relationship with Arnav, albeit brief, had been anything but a fairy tale. It had been filled with insecurities, fights, tears and heart breaks. She finally wiped her tears and got out of the shower. It was still very early in the morning, 5:00am, when Khushi walked down into the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before she had to head down to the hospital. She found both her parents sitting at the table, having their coffee and chatting softly. Their love for each other and their easy camaraderie made Khushi smile fondly at them. And then it turned wistful as she wondered if she'll ever find that kind of companionship with someone! She shuddered visibly! No!! She could not give that place to anyone but Arnav! She couldn't even imagine anyone else! Khushi's eyes instantly filled with tears...when had life become so complicated? When you're in love and the other person reciprocates it, shouldn't it be easy? That should be it, right? But then why wasn't it? Why was it so hard? So painful?
'Khushi beta? Aaj tum jaldi aagayi neeche? Neend nahi aayi kya? Aajao, coffee thayyar hai' Jhanvi Gupta called out to her youngest fondly.
Khushi broke out of her thoughts and smiled at her Mom. Jahnavi saw the sadness in her daughter's eyes and worried about what had happened for the umpteenth time. Ram Gupta pushed his chair back and got up to hug his daughter.
'Khushi, what time will you be back beta?' he asked her as he smiled at her fondly.
'I should be back by 9:00pm Bauji. Why?'
'Woh Kishore aur Anjali ka phone aaya tha. Anju needs your help with the menu. Can you please go over there once you get back? I'll let her know you'll be late'
'Ji Bauji. Hum aaj Di se baat karlenge' Khushi replied even as her heart thundered thinking about going to his house.
* * * * *
Arnav's alarm rang at 5:30am and he woke up with a start. He laid back down immediately as his head pounded. He groaned as he finally got up and walked towards his balcony to look at Khushi's room in the distance. Her lights were off. Arnav didn't know whether she was still asleep or already up and dressed. He cursed himself for not waking up sooner. He rushed about getting dressed and was out of his house in 15 minutes. Arnav knew the Guptas were early risers and he braced himself as he rang their doorbell so early in the morning. He hoped that Khushi's parents would still be out for their usual morning walk and he could find Khushi alone for a few minutes and maybe even convince her to ride with him to her hospital. He knew Payal slept till 7am. So he was surprised when Khushi's mom opened the door.
'Arey! Arnu Baba? Tum? Itni subah? Aao na' she greeted him warmly.
Arnav smiled at Jahnavi Gupta as he entered the huge foyer.
'Good morning Choti Ma' he hugged her tightly.
Jahnavi Gupta was more of a mother to Arnav than his own mother was. She was the one who took care of him when he was sick and she was the one who knew all his favorite dishes and she was also the one who cried the most when he was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes when he was 9! She had learnt to make sugar free desserts for him. Arnav was very fond of his Choti Ma and there wasn't anything he didn't tell her. So her next sentence didn't at all came as a surprise for Arnav.
'Kya baat hai Arnu? Tum pareshan lag rahe ho?'
'Kuch nahi Choti Ma. I'm just tired that's all. Still recovering from the last term of school. Khushi kaha hai?' he gave her a small smile and tried to sound casual.
'Khushi tho hospital ke liye nikal gayi kab ka. It's a big day for her today. Jamie's parents are bringing him in today at 7 for admission'
'Acha? Who's Jamie?'
'Thats right! Tum tho abhi ghar vaapas aaye ho...usse nahin janthe. He's a 6 year old boy with a congestive heart failure. He's been waiting for a heart for over a year now. He's Khushi's patient and she's gotten very attached to him. She's been his biggest advocate for a donor heart when he was initially rejected to be on the transplant list. He's such a sweet kid. He's finally getting a heart and is being admitted today for the per-surgery procedures'
Arnav was surprised and a li'l hurt! Khushi has a transplant case? A child? And she never told him about it? He sighed! When did they ever get a chance to properly talk about their lives when they were apart for 2 years? All they did was fight! No more, he promised himself! He got up from his chair, finishing his coffee and bid goodbye to his Choti Ma. Just as he stepped out of the front door, he heard her ask him,
'Arnav? Sab theek tho hain na?'
The minute she called him Arnav, he knew how serious she was. Are all mothers this perceptive? he wondered. But mentally shook his head with a sad smile...his own wasn't!
'Choti Ma? Aap mere baare main itni chinta math kijiye. Sab theek hain! Ok?'
'Sirf tumhare baare main nahin beta. Tum dono ke baare main. Na woh kuch kehti hain na tum. Chal kya raha hain? Tum please uska khayal rakhoge na? Abhi abhi tho aayi hain woh itne dino ke baad. Hum usse phir se khona nahin chahthe Arnav!'
Arnav's heart ached seeing her in tears. He retraced his steps and cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumbs, even as his own throat constricted with a lump.
'Choti Ma, please! Main sab theek kardoonga! Ab main aagaya hoon na? Tho aap sab mujhpe chod dijiye' Arnav reassured her with a smile and left Khushi's house with a promise to her mother and a promise to himself.
Arnav dialed Khushi's number but it went unanswered even after several tries. He felt his frustration building again. He threw his phone on the bed and sat down with his face in his hands. This was why he shied away from relationships...this everyday drama! He hated how this was making him feel...never had he felt this restless or helpless, never was he this desperate to see someone or hear their voice, never had he felt as if his world would end if they left him and never did his heart ache this much! He hated being in love and yet...love was all he needed right now!
* * * * *
It was 9:15pm when Khushi entered Shantivan with Payal. She had an incredibly busy day at the hospital and she was on her feet all day and added to that she hasn't slept at all the previous night. Her eyes were puffy, red and burning and her head was throbbing. Arnav had called her many times throughout the day but she hadn't picked up...she neither had the time nor the energy to speak to him. She had half a mind to just curl up and sleep as soon as she got home, but she had promised her Bauji that she would finalize the menu tonight. Since he was catering the food, he needed the menu to send the raw materials to India well in advance with his chefs and Khushi knew the food and the menus from all his restaurants better than anyone else!
As soon as she entered his house, she heard a tinkling laughter coming from the living room. When she stepped inside, she was greeted by a sight that she had hoped she'd never see! There she was, Mia, sitting on the couch laughing with Arnav's Mom and looking as gorgeous as ever! Khushi's heart skipped a beat! What was she doing here? Then she remembered she had come to the area to look for an apartment and that she would be helping Arnav with the engagement preparations, which was less than a week away.
Arnav was sitting opposite to Mia and smiling and Khushi felt her stomach burn with jealousy and a rage that she didn't know she possessed. She looked at Arnav and found him staring intently at her. She turned her gaze away and went to talk to Anjali. It was a good couple of hours by the time they were finally done with the menus for all the wedding festivities in Lucknow. Khushi yawned and stretched. She was exhausted and it didn't help that Arnav was only a few feet away from her, laughing and talking with Mia. Her mood soured further. Anjali and Payal glanced at each other. They felt uncomfortable thinking that they might have done more damage than help by talking too much about Mia. It was clear that Arnav and Khushi were not talking and they had had a fight. Anjali squeezed Khushi's hand and said,
'Khushi, I know you're very tired today. But I would like to talk to you about something tomorrow, ok? I will call you'
'Of course Di. Why are you being so formal?' Khushi smiled weakly at her.
Both Khushi and Payal bid everyone good night and headed home. Arnav so wanted to follow her and talk to her and take her in his arms. He was missing her like crazy. But he had to hold it in. He saw how tired she looked and then she had Payal with her. He didn't want to say anything in front of her. Then there was Mia too, sitting in his living room. He felt uncomfortable and a strange sense of dread wrapped around his heart. He has to get Mia out of his house first thing in the morning, he decided. Arnav looked wistfully at the door through which Khushi had just left.
* * * * *
Khushi changed and got into her bed. As tired as she was, sleep eluded her. The tears she was holding back from the last few hours, came rushing out. Just then her phone beeped. She checked it to see a message from Arnav.
'I love you. Please don't push me away. I am sorry'
Khushi clutched her phone to her heart and cried herself to sleep.
* * * * *
A/N:
First of all, sorry for the delay. I had to seriously analyze my story and decide where I want to take it next. Let me warn you all in advance that this story is about how Arnav and Khushi, who are diametrically opposite to each other, overcome their differences and end up in a bond stronger than ever. Love is not all about physical intimacy and love is also not all about kissing and making up every time they have a fight. Any two people in love need to understand and communicate with each other, have respect and trust for each other for their relationship to work in the long run and after the physical attraction dies away. So I want to explore this aspect more. I am truly sorry if you think that this is something that won't interest you.
I have charted the course of this story now and things will move forward quickly from the next update. Hope you liked this update. Thanks for all your patience. And thank you for the kind words for the last part.
Edited by limoncello - 12 years ago
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