Parinay(2) Chp6B Pg114, Teaser on THd3 Link Pg 136 - Page 80

Chapter 6B-

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Kushi panicked. This couldn't be happening, she hadn't expected to face her worst fears so soon, not when she had just begun her life. She couldn't believe the game that fate had played on her again; of all places she had to meet Arnav, she had to see him at her place of work, which from the looks of it was the same place where he worked too.

'What is he doing here, Is he stalking me? Did he have an hand in making sure that I was offered this job? Why won't he leave me alone when he has Lavanya?'

All sort of questions flooded her mind. And her irritation and anger increased when she saw Arnav remained unaffected, well not entirely. He had been looking at her with a tender smile on his face, and a strong sense of longing, almost like he was thankful to the Gods for sending her here.

While her colleagues sat in other chairs, Kushi stood up dramatically. The rest of the group looked at her in surprise. Realising where she was and the scene that would be ensured if she didn't calm her rising temper, she whispered without looking at Arnav, 'Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.' And before anyone could react or say anything, she ran out of the meeting room.

Kushi splashed her face with cold water. She had no idea how Arnav ended up here. Seeing him after two years made her dormant pain which was always lurking around the corners, come alive. She had assumed that with time she learned to exercise a better hold over her emotions, but Arnav had disproved it totally. With his one appearance he made her an emotional wreck all over again. She hated that he made her lose her strong rational sense, that he made her look like a fool. She hated Arnav for many things, but she hated him most for making her weak.

She paced the restroom, wondering what she should do next. 'Should I leave my job? What is he doing here? Why did Jiju lie to me? Did I not get this job out of merit?' Many questions had plagued her mind, but she didn't have an answer to any of them.

Then Kushi realised that there were a room full of people, people who were her colleagues waiting for her. Also her manager would drop by later to check on all of them. How can she possibly reason this behaviour, when she hadn't even worked in the agency for more than a week. Kushi straightened up her appearance and walked back nervously to the room. She would decide how to deal with him and find answers to the questions later. She had to put up an appearance now and she might as well do a good job at it. She gave herself a pep talk and opened the door.

Kushi walked back into the room and settled into her chair, she didn't spare Arnav as much as one look. She pretended to listen to the presentation and had her eyes fixed on the screen, but her heart and mind were elsewhere. In the midst of the presentation, she could feel slight bouts of energy and restlessness in Arnav's voice, but she paid no heed to him. She could feel his eyes trained on her, silently searching, silently drowning, silently pleading, silently begging at her to look at him, but she tried to ignore and overlook her own need to look at him. She waited with bated breath for the presentation to get over. After the presentation there was a small Q&A which irritated Kushi further. Everyone except for her asked questions. Arnav did look at her a couple of times again, yet Kushi stayed rooted to her spot and passed the opportunity to ask questions unlike her colleagues. Once the Q&A was over Kushi, left the room quickly before anyone could stop her. She went back to her desk, packed her bag and laptop and left the office. As she was about to get into the elevator, she saw Arnav briskly walking towards her. Arnav had excused himself from the meeting room.

'Kushi, please...' he begged with her to stop, wait, and grant him his wish.

Kushi pressed the button to the ground floor and she screamed back at him, 'leave me alone.'

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'Kushi its so nice to see you,' Payal held Kushi in a bear hug and was surprised when Kushi stood rooted to her spot without reciprocating her hug. She had assumed that after their heart to heart earlier this week, Kushi would be more receptive.

'Kushi what's wrong?' Payal stepped back from the hug to ask her sister.

Kushi placed her bag on the table, 'We need to talk jiji.' She then pulled a chair to make herself comfortable and to catch-up on the all the events of the last two years, to find out how Arnav ended up at Lintas and why Akash and Payal didn't inform Kushi about his employment.

'Kushi, after you left Arnavji had locked himself in his room. He had sort of lost it completely. He started throwing things, breaking them. We tried to get him to open the room, but he was beyond any reasoning. After sometime the noises stopped, we got very woried and then we managed to break open the door. We found him unconscious with a swollen head. We rushed him to the hospital. We think he had banged his head against the wall a few times. He was being treated for the injuries, thankfully he only had a mild concussion. He refused to speak to anyone or even see anyone from the family, he was very angry with Dadi. Two days after he had been admitted, Arnavji left the hospital without informing anyone of his whereabouts. He just disappeared Kushi. No one knew where he was. We had lodged a police complaint and even hired private detectors to track him. We were all so worried and then we heard that someone who looked like him had died in an accident. It was such a difficult period of time for the family. Three weeks later he walked back into Shantivan, looking like a gypsy. He again refused to speak to anyone and tell us where he was. Akash who had been on the edge after his disappearance was starting to get really annoyed with him. He felt Arnavji was being very irresponsible. And then, Arnavji traveled to Ahmedabad to visit you and I think you refused to see him. You told Akashiji about the visit and once Arnavji was back home, all hell broke lose. Akash lost his temper and snapped at him asking him why he was continuing to bother you and everyone in the family. He also called Arnav a a toothless coward for ruining your life and yet persisting with his attempts to meet you. I think Akash was upset and angry with himself for not having done anything to protect you. They had a very heated argument and it nearly turned into a scuffle when Arnavji told Akash that you were his wife and he didn't need anyone's permission to see you. The two brothers came close to blows and we all had to pull them away. Next morning, by the time we woke up Arnavji had left Shantivan. Di and Dadi went and begged him asking him to come back, they said he could live as he wished, but he didn't pay any heed.'

Kushi flinched when the true meaning of Payal's last few words sunk in.

'He told them never to see him again and that he was breaking all his ties with them for ruining his life and most importantly yours. A week later he sent his resignation letter from AR. Naani and Di were persistent in their attempts to make him change his mind. But he has been rigid in his stance.'

Kushi sat back with her hands on her head still reeling from everything Payal had told her.

'None of us have been in touch with him ever since. Two months later Akash and I moved out of Shantivan too, we now live separately and visit the family over the weekend. Akash says that the house is not the same again. His relationship with his mother, Grandmother and Anjali is rocky to say the least.'

She then rubbed Kushi's shoulders affectionately, 'I swear both of us didn't know what he is doing. Arnavji did try getting in touch with us and tried to apologise to Akash, but I dont understand why Akash is being so stubborn. He tells me that Arnav need to do this on his own, he needs to turn his life around without any involvement from his family. I had last seen him at a restaurant, and he mentioned something about working for an agency. He even invited me to his flat.'

'Kushi...' she said trying to get her sister's attention, who had her eyes closed trying to take in everything.

'For what its worth, I think he is a changed man now Kushi.'

'Well its too late jiji.' She replied. Payal nodded her head in understanding.

The two sisters then had a sombre dinner, each evaluating the intricacies of family life and how sometimes it was difficult and even impossible to overcome the shadows of the past, no matter how hard you try.

Kushi changed into her night clothes and peeked at the night sky from her room window. She was mentally exhausted after the happenings of the day. First of all to see Arnav like that at work, unexpectedly had come as an absolute shock, she wasn't prepared for it. She didn't want to see him, there were no two ways about it. He was a part of her life, that she had managed to close and lock away, and she was scared that with their chanced meeting the Pandora box would be reopened.

She wasn't even sure how she was going to manage working in the same place as him. There was no way she could afford to quit this job, that was out of the question. That would be very unprofessional of her. Plus her job at Lintas was everything she had dreamed of- an Interesting role, structured management trainee programme, good pay and benefits and the choice of moving to another city after completing six months of training. Could she afford to give up on all those for someone who doesn't even figure in her future scheme of things? Never! But she promised to find a way to manage this thing between Arnav and her before it affected either of them professionally.

Her thoughts then went to her discussion with her sister and Payal's revelation of everything that had happened after she left. She was thankful to Akash for not telling her anything, as it would have had a detrimental effect on her time at Ahmedabad. She had been shocked when she found out that the once closely knit Raizada family had now crumbled away. If only Naani and Di had foreseen the repercussions of their own actions, no one would have had to see this day. When Payal told her about Arnav's remorse and regret, how he had hurt himself, how he walked away from the place he called as him home, how he sacrificed his dream his job at AR, how he took a step down and accepted a regular salaried job, Kushi did feeling a wee bit of something for him, may be sympathy, maybe understanding, maybe even pity. But none of this would make any difference to her, as far as she was concerned their marriage was a thing of the past, something she didn't want to revisit. She then kicked herself for the direction of her thoughts, especially when no one knew if Arnav still intended to pursue her, when he might already be in a relationship with Lavanya, or even another woman.

Kushi leaned her head in the window pane and continued to look at the night sky. She found the sky dark and dull, the clouds creating shadows that dulled the path of the light from the stars. When would the clouds clear and the stars shine brightly like before? She wondered.

Arnav locked the doors to his car- a second hand Volkswagen Polo. He had bought it a year ago using his annual bonus as a down payment for the car. He was paying the rest of the money through monthly installments. He walked to his apartment and opened the doors to his one bed flat. He deposited his bag on the couch carefully, lest it disturbed the neat arrangement of the cushions and then he removed his shoes and left them in the shoe stand. He then proceeded to the bathroom to take a much needed long shower, after getting rid of his clothes. He opened the shower and the water gushed down in full blast, hitting roughly against his skin, lessening the weariness of the week that passed by. He had traveled to Mumbai and Banglore this week and as much as he like his job the constant traveling, especially in the summer was starting to get to him.

But today had been a good day, in fact his best day in a long long time. He hadn't felt this good or this hopeful in a long while.

He hadn't seen Kushi in two years, two long years consumed by thoughts and concerns about her, what she was doing, how she was coping, when he would see her, how he could beg forgiveness and ask for another chance. And the atheist he normally was even changed his beliefs to pray for her, for her successful completion of the management degree. And it looked like the Gods had finally answered his calls and granted him his wish. He knew Kushi was going to be working in Delhi for an agency for a few months based on some information he had received, but he didn't know that it would be at the same agency where he worked. He had been preparing himself to win Kushi over during her stay, but little did he know that fate would make this a little easier on him.

And he needed all the good luck he could get. He knew Kushi would not even speak to him, let alone give him another chance. When he had seen her in flesh and bones today he felt longing like never before. That she was fine, doing well, in fact really well in spite of all the events of the past made him very proud of his wife. She was one heck of a strong woman.

He got out of the shower, dried himself and wore a pair of drawstring pants. He walked to the kitchen and switched the coffee maker to make himself a cup of hot black coffee. When he had moved out he didn't even know how to make a cup of coffee let alone a decent meal. But his experience in the first year were an eye opener for him, he had never seen life like this. He got to grips with running a house, managing his finances, saving up for things and strike a a balance with his professional life. When he won the 'Rising star' at the Annual media awards last year he felt a sense of pride like never before. And when he purchased his first car, a second hand Polo, he was more proud than he was when he had purchased a Mercedes S class convertible when he was promoted as the CEO at AR.

Walking out of his family, the place which was his home earlier and AR was the best thing he had done in his life. They were all wonderful people who had his best interests in their heart, he was indebted to them for saving his life when he was young. But it got to a point where if he stayed any longer, he would lose his sanity for good and would never be able to lead life as he wished. He felt suffocated to live in that house after Kushi left, the house that had seen her hopes and dreams shattered and buried. Everything about that house still sent shivers down that spine. It reminded him of nothing but Kushi's tears and her anguish. For the first time in his life he decided that his own peace of mind was more important than his ambition. He repented over his actions and realised that ambitions achieved at the price of others dreams was simply not worth pursuing.

After he had been admitted to a hospital he had left one day without informing anyone. He went away for three weeks to Manali, the time he spent in complete solitude gave him the opportunity to self introspect and see how he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He had two options, he could either live in the same place and hope and pray Kushi would give him another chance or he could move out, start a new life afresh and make himself a man worthy of someone like Kushi. One fine day as the clouds lifted and the first sun light fell upon Manali, Arnav's found his moment near the 'Bhirgu lake' in Manali and his decision had been made.

He picked his cup of black coffee and walked to the balcony. He still could not believe that Kushi was here next to him, working under the same roof as him. It finally felt that after a prolonged dark and cold winter it was spring time again. Arnav grinned at no one in particular and sipped some black coffee and felt that the night sky had quite not looked this beautiful in a while, the stars shining brightly than ever before, the clouds creating a halo around them making them seem more beautiful and serene.

I've been trying to do it right

I've been living a lonely life

I've been sleeping here instead

I've been sleeping in my bed,

I've been sleeping in my bed

So show me family

All the blood that I would bleed

I don't know where I belong

I don't know where I went wrong

But I can write a song

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart