Hello Arishans, back with a part...hope u like it...
but warning hai...bohat emotional and intense hai...so weak hearts and kids, pls stay out
Your comments are my motivation...so pls comment...
thanks for all the prev comments and likes!
Chapter 18A: woh lamhe woh yaadein….
"Bathle ke aag hi sabse badaa nasha hoti hai Aisha…usske aage kuch aur nashe ki zaroorat nahi hai….woh akela hi jeene ki wajeh bann jaathi hai!"
Aisha was silent….Wasnt she gearing up and waiting for such a fiery revenge too??? Then why was she getting weak at times and resorting to other means of forgetting pain and sorrow….
Arjun looked to her side and sensed that there was something more to her silence……"ab kyun bolthi banddh hai?"
Aisha spoke up seriously "aapke bathle ki aag main bhi samajh sakthi hoom…isiliye chup hoom…"
Arjun is a bit surprised by her soft empathizing words and looks at her to judge what was going on inside her mind…..
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Her face appeared blank or rather she had the determination and stern look intact not to allow him to decipher anything from there…..but he had to know….
He spoke up "Aisha, tum mujhse kuch chupaa rahi ho, right?"
Aisha didn't respond….but her silence was killing him for the first time ever…..Always, her tit for tat replies and sarcastic taunts annoyed him like hell and he always had the urge to cork her mouth shut but today it was the opposite……he wanted her to tell him what bothered her so much and she was hell bent on keeping silent fuming him beyond limits!
He annoyingly urged her again "tum chup rehke mere sawaalon se bacch nahi sakthi Aisha….you have to reply!"
Aisha took a deep breath and tried to tell him….afterall she was suffocating with all this stuffed up emotions inside her….She had never shared it with anyone….she was always a closed person and now the person next to her had already known more than what she ever wanted to let out….And she had none but herself to blame for it…..she had by herself let him inside her closed life…..she had pulled him closer to her willingly……so close that she couldn't distance him anymore even if she wanted…..
But she will definitely try and keep him away at a distance…..
Aisha spoke up after a few moments of silent thinking "kisi apne ko marthe hua dekhna…unnke aakhri saans jaathe hua dekhna…phir bhi unne bachaane keliye kuch na kar paana….[stops and then adds]….iss dard ko aapse behtar koyi samajh saktha hai kya?"
Arjun looked to her side but chose to be silent because if he spoke up, she would become silent and he didn't want that today!
Aisha continued when she saw him look to her side trying to empathize with her thoughts and his expressions weren't that of anger….she continued "mere choti behen ne suicide kiya tha…fan se….[her words trailed off as her throat dried up and her eyes welled up]
He didn't urge for more from her….he knew that she needed some time to recover from that horrible memory…..
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They reached her place and there was no words exchanged between the two, she got off the car and he followed her too…..She didn't invite him in nor ask him not to come in…..it was as if both had heard and understood each others mind voice!
He didn't want to let her alone that night and she did want to let her heart out which was almost giving her the pain of death! May be both wanted the company of the other that night!
She washed her face and came out with a tea for him……perhaps she felt that he would need it before hearing what she was going to say…..
She stood next to a window and spoke up finally after what looked like a decade….yeah the wait of a few minutes did seem like a decade of unbearable silent torture to him but he patiently waited for the first time ever in his life…..that too for her…..He just couldn't understand what made him tolerate all this…..
In normal times, he would have freaked the hell out and blasted at her! This new form of him shocked him as well…perhaps it was sympathy that he felt for her! He thought to himself!
"Meri behen Aashu….. humaare parents ke chale jaane ke baadh, usske liye main hi sab kuch thi….
[pausing] Ek behen, ek dhost, ek beti…sab kuch thi woh mere liye…..the only dear one I had in my life!...
I was her role model……padhaayi mein bohat hoshiyaar thi…..padhaayi toh kya sab activities mein 1st hi thi….shaan thi apne college ki…..I had so many dreams for her…..par sab kuch ek toofaan mein bighad gaya….."
She stopped remembering those years while Arjun walked up next to her and patted her shoulders consolingly……He actually didn't know how else to console her….neither did he know that the worst was yet to come!
She stepped away a bit and continued mindlessly in a lost tone "Usske college se ek cultural tour pe gayi thi….tour dus din ka tha…..par paanchwe din mujhe wahaan se call aaya ke Aashu missing hai…..mujhe kuch samajh nahi aaya….main wahaan gayi toh patha chala ke woh kahi ghoomne nikhli thi aur phir waapas hi nahi aayi…..local police investigate karne lagi…main bhi apne sources ke through ussko talaashne ki khoshish ki…..[she sighed deeply and continued] almost 2 months passed without any news about her….maine toh almost umeedh hi chodh diya tha….aisa lag raha tha ke woh ab kabhi nahi milegi…..phir achaanak, ek din, mujhe ek call aaya ke woh yahaan se bohat dhoor kisi rescue shelter mein hai….wahaan kaise paunchi ya kisne usse gate pe chodha, patha nahi chala…. …..main wahaan gayi aur usse waapas laayi….woh bohat bhuri haalat mein thi…..she wasn't speaking anything…..mentally disturbed aur depression mein thi…… maine usski psychiatric treatment shuru kiya….at times, she became violent too aur admit karna padaa"
She stopped for a deep breath….. Arjun couldn't help sympathizing with her now….
She didn't wait for any response from him but continued "pregnant thi….ek abortion possible nahi tha….kyun ki jab tak baat patha chali, chaar mahine ho chukha tha….doctor ne kaha ke abort kiya toh Aashu ki jaan keliye khattra ho saktha hai….." [She stopped and let a chuckle] irony of life again…..Aashu ke jaan bachaane keliye hi bacche ko duniya mein laana pada par…[she stopped abruptly]……warna I wouldn't have let that happen…"
"agle paanch mahine bohat hi torturous tha…kaise maine Aashu ko sambaala…..[she stopped without knowing how to describe those terrible days]…..Pari was born…..she was an unwanted child….but the moment I saw her and held her in my hands, I cursed myself for having even thought of killing her….she was the most cutest thing I had ever seen all my life…truly a bundle of joy…..usski kya galathi thi??...isiliye maine usse apnaa liya……..par meri behen ke haalaat mein koyi sudhaar nahi hua….she was in the same lost state….harr waqt chup chaap….apne baby ko ek baar bhi nahi dekha ya chooha….[she stopped for a few seconds again]
Pari's first b'day was around the corner when the doctor told me that Aashu is showing improvement now and I could take her back home….usse ghar laana, wahi meri galthi bhi thi…….shaayad Aashu ko sab kuch patha chalne laga tha….usski saath kya hua, yeh kabhi ussne kisi se share nahi kiya…..par shaayad andhar hi andhar mehsoos karne lagi thi……phir sab problems aur iss duniya ki nazar se bacchne ki aasaan raasta chun li ussne….chali gayi duniya chodh ke…kisi se kuch kahe bina….mujhse bhi nahi….….apni pyari si pari ke baare mein ek baar bhi nahi socha ussne… mere baare mein nahi socha….….pari ko ek baar apne ghodhi mein utaaya tak nahi, chali gayi humein akela chodh ke….ek number ki escapist hai woh!….Idiot!...sochthi hogi ke Aisha di hai na Pari ko sambaal legi….."
Arjun could see how much love she had for her little sister from all what she said….he felt sad for her as well as Pari….poor baby!…..He could understand how much Aisha had suffered and that explained her rough and tough behavior as well…..
Suppressing all these things within her and raising her sister's baby as her own was not an easy task….she was damn strong and compassionate to have done it……and never once she compromised on her professional side as well…….She had balanced it all so well and he had no words to appreciate her for that! But at this moment, he sensed that she didn't require a word of praise now…..she needed much more than that…..she needed a supportive, a consoling hand from but not sympathy for sure!…..be it from a friend or even more than that!
He placed his hand on her shoulders and she turned around and crashed into him sobbing….she was on the verge of crying and his comforting pat broke the barrier that she herself had built between them…..
She held him tightly and let out all the tears and emotions that she had bottled up so far in the faade of a brave self…..
He closed his arm around her oblivious to himself tightly…..He kept cooling her down "its ok Aisha….jo hogaya usse koyi bathal nahi saktha…"
It seemed to her that his comforting hug was the sole relief to all her pains in those moments…..
Aisha spoke in broken sentences in between her sobs "mere saamne usski jaan gayi thi Arjun….but I couldn't save her…..Uss keliye kuch nahi karpaayi….."
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After moments of silence, he spoke up when her sobs seemed to cease "kya tumne patha lagaaya ke Aashu ke haalaat ka zimmedhaar kaun tha?? I mean Pari…"
He noticed that she wasn't willing to let out those details…..he had earlier also noted that she had skipped some details about where Aashu had gone for the tour and also in which rescue shelter was she found again! All of that weren't mere coincidental omissions from her side…He was sure that there was more to it…..she had wantedly kept those details under wrap…….
But he wanted all the answers from her……
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She snapped out almost instantly and stepped away from him realizing that she was holding him or rather hugging him…..
He violently pulled her back to himself not wanting her to slip away like that and avoid his questions…..He scowled at her "don't you dare do that Aisha…."
When she struggled to free away from him, he pinned her to the wall and looked at her furiously……though her face had become emotionless now, her tears still lingered in the corner of her eyes……that sight melted him…..and his anger seemed to suddenly evaporate away….
He leaned to her and kissed her eye lids gently….She smacked herself for having become so weak and vulnerable that she couldn't even prevent him from getting close to her…..She hated to admit that his closeness was indeed having a soothing effect on her hurt heart! Her sore wounds and pains of the past were easing away with each of his intimate touches…..
Mai To Bas Teri Chaahat Mein Shaahun Rehna Sadaa
Mai To Bas Teri Qurbat Mein Chaahun Rehna Sadaa
Saaya Bhi Tera Mai Hone Na Dun Juda
Maine Taye Ka Liya
Tere Ishq Pe, Tere Waqt Pe Bas Haq Hai Ek Mera
Teri Rooh Pe, Tere Jism Pe Bas Haq Hai Ek Mera
Bas Haq Hai Ek Mera Bas Haq Hai Ek Mera
But Aisha gathered up soon….she couldn't lose control like the last time…..so she managed to speak up "plss Sir….chodh dijiye mujhe….yeh sab…"
He cut her short…."yeh sab kya Aisha?? humaare liye pehli baar tho nahi na??"
Saying that he tried to kiss her lips, but she pushed him away with all her might shouting "NO…"
He wasn't angry……On the contrary, he grinned….isnt this what he wanted too?? The return of the strong Aisha….the ever opposing, fighting jungili billi of ETF!
[To be continued]
so how was it??? pls do reply...
Edited by vidya.anand - 12 years ago
Anupamaa
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