"Biwi which sweet do you like the most." They were having their dinner, it had been nearly 4 hrs since they had been in flight and all the while Madhu had been reading some thing on her laptop.
"All but …" she left the sentence midway.
"Biwi you know laptops are old fashioned. You could use a tablet."
"I know but Laptops are comfy or rather familiar for me. I am not an adventurous person"
"So you mean to say that familiarity is something that you seek in everything. I could not imagine you as a routine person"
"Yes precisely, If I could live the rest of my life in a mundane home with exactly same routine every day, I would barter anything"
"Me too"
"O God RK are you a thing?"
"When you said you did not commit any wrong, at that…" Madhu opened her mouth to interrupt RK but he placed his index finger on her lips.
"let me say it, at that moment I felt that I had done an irrepairable damage to you. It was wrong to drag you inbetween my dad's and my tussle. It was wrong on my part to compel you to marry me. Will there be any point of time when you will feel that you can out grow all that has transpired between us?."
Madhu did not look surprised at this sudden out burst. She took it as if she knew it was coming. She did question him though,
" Exactly what are you trying to accomplish here?"
"Nothing in specific just wanted to know if there would ever be a time when you would be able to look beyond our past." RK was trying to study her expressions upclose, but her face was too calm for his liking. What was she upto, she was not ignoring him neither was she indulging him. Some thing was going on in her mind but what.? RK was really puzzled by the look on her face, that had now turned to a look of a bruding hawk.
"Do you want an honest answer?" She asked back with all genuinity that she had.
"Yes" he was surprised, she wanted to answer this question.
"I don't know if I will be able to look over our past ever. What I know is that what ever I do in future would be my choice free of your current and future actions."
"excuse my lack of intelligence but if you could care to explain."
"It is not that simple to put in words RK. I have reconciled with the fact that this wedlock cannot be reversed. No matter what, I will always in some or the other way be connected to you, even if I separate legally from you. So I have accepted it as is. Now for getting over it part, that would need a change in this state of rest. This I have yet not thought about but the day there is a change in my, sorry your status in my mind you would be the first one to know.And for the record when I said I have done no wrong I intended to say that by marrying you for what ever reason I had not opened myself or anyone from my family to any kind of character debate."
This came as a big blow to RK, he was reduced to just a reconcialiatory "as is" stature from someone who occupied the pinnacle of her interests. She had given up on him and this was pretty evident from her behavior since evening. This was going to be a big big mess. He was loosing hope fast, he looked out of the window. The vastness of the atmosphere was bewildering and so confusing. The colors of the setting sun once again playing havoc at his senses. The clouds appeared so beautifull fluffy and warm from inside the flight
"only if someone knew how cold they were in real" he said to himself.
"you said something." Asked Madhu
He was startled by her question was she still attentive to what he said or what not.
"No" he replied in a very curt and cold tone.
Madhu noded and returned her attention to her fathers file that she had been reading all the while. RK could see his mom in her formative year's right in front of him. He was feeling claustrophobic and wanted to reachout to the vastness outside. He took out his Ipad and connected it to the provided WI fi connection. He was going through his mail,
"Bittuji" what does he have to say so soon. " Atleast someone is there for whom I do matter." Bittuji had sent him a mail with a link of a video on youtube. RK put on his earplugs and watched the video through. He shut his Ipad down and went to the washroom. He did not want to face Madhu. It took him quite some time to come back to his old calm and collected self.
"So this was the reason behind such humongous change in your entire outlook. you are at peace with yourself I know. You have sorted out your relationship with me. you are not going to dwell on it any further. How clever was your answer that you are deeply in love with RK the phenomenon. That is all that I am now to you. Nothing personal remains. The world will see me as a glorified husband and you as a loving wife but in reality we will be just an insipid mass of flesh and blood living together. A mere minute's lapse and you are far gone. Just yesterday you were dwelling on me and my actions towards you, and today they don't matter any more. You have already given up, so easily and discarded me as a larger than life figure. You wont even attempt to bring this figure close to your heart."
He came out of the washroom, repentant and hurt.
"You know when I was getting married to you." Madhu was looking at him expectantly her entire attention focused on him. She looked absolutely methodical though there was not a dot of faade in her gesture but it was just that, a method that she had adapted to quite soon. RK was looking at this newly born woman, no a sculpture actually. He applauded himself for creating this most beautiful and perfect sculpture ever, it was just that it had no life in it. He once again felt the sting of his words in his gut.
"You were saying something" she asked unmoved.
She knew while he was staring at her he was staring through her and into this big zero that only he could visualize.
"Yeah" my dad said "I was marrying a huge chunk of ice" He told me "you were as cold as it could get. I had thought that my anger and revenge would prove to be that chisel and hammer that would help me carve you into what ever shape I wanted. I wish I had thought that sculptures no mater how beautiful were lifeless." He patted her head gently "This thing that you are reading is it on a usb or a cd?"
She so wanted to look away from his eyes. She wanted to belive that what she saw in his eyes was true repentence not just desire. Now was not the time to cave in. Now was the time to reinforce and stand tall. She looked down at her laptop and then back to him and said very normally.
"USB, I don't have any thing to add neither to your dad's comment about me being ice, nor to your desire of hitting and beating me up into a form of your like.
"I know" he looked out of the window again. Madhu was really having a hard time controlling herself and so was RK. He so wished he could bring himself to apologise may be that would work, but sorry was not in his system. He needed to sleep somehow at this minute. He asked the air hostess for his favorite scotch and consumed it so as it would consume him. Madhu was watching all this from the corner of her eye. She wanted to stop him and hug him and tell him that she loved him but not now. He needed to find a way out of his age old assumptions and self inflicted wounds.
"Madhu if you want a life for your self and for him, let him, break the walls. You cannot force your self in. It is he who has to create a passage for you to reach him."
SO finally Madhu was at peace with herself. She believed in what she was doing, only time could tell how far was she going to go in her mission acquire RK. History was in her favour though.Madhu had never till date ever given up on anything she had set her heart on. RK was now a part of her heart, the very center of her being, and she had learnt the lessons of self preservation very well and very early in her life. Moreover she had seen the glimpses of the real Rishabh hidden behind the gruff exterior he presented. To bring that Rishabh to the forefront love and care was not the way. Malik had taken her to task on the airport for hiding the entire situation from him. He had said
"Whatever has happened cannot be undone, but remember that any wound open or other wise needs to be cleaned of all its debris before you can redress it. Cleaning hurts and to be a successful nurse you have to master the art of cleaning the wounds with a cold heart."
Words as precious as gold had given Madhu the direction she needed. The bigger question was though, Madhu knew how to handle RK but what was she supposed to do with Dipali.