Udaipur Chronicles: SS :)updated page 24 - Page 14

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Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: nolla

suchi,

this last one was more of a school bench & was a bit too long. I mean it was all full of study. It would have been best if it was also balanced with the 1st parts. Mixture of love, romance, desires & books. But well i imagine this is going to be more of back to uni mostly na?

But you had put everyone on the track of fire, so it was a bit detouring for me in person.
But its beautifully written. Its the topic that changes a bit drastically from love to school bench. You need the transition.

Sorry if i hurt you here, & you don't need to pay heed to my comments;


oh ofcourse not no... hurt business yaar. There is a reason why I asked..if you found the scene boring. ;) Thankz for the input :)

🤗
Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: sg_rai2003

it was good but out of curiousity i want to know in your track have ansh not consummated their marriage😉

everything is fine
update soon


not yet! lol
HemaG thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
really nice posts suchi...

keep on going and do update soon😊
shilpi_ thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
hey suchi loved ur SS😊
seriously it is very nice and awesome👏👏👏 i don't knw how did i missed it😲 read all the parts from the scene 1 n 2 today (as it is sunday😃)
I don't mind to see the clg lyf in ur SS instead i love dis😊😊 bcoz i luv clg lyf but bcoz of dis clg(assignments and tests😭) i missed ur lovely SS
once again 👏👏 to u
plzzz update soon😊😛
Edited by sophie_ansh - 12 years ago
Payali09 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Thank you thank you for the set of updates! 🤗 So good to read through a few updates rather than read one and then bang my head against the wall till the next one arrives 😆

Love seeing A's college life and the inclusion of two new characters! Been wanting to see something like this happening on the show but who knows when the CVs will sort themselves out and begin this track 😛 Really like how you are including A's passion for social work in such detail in terms of the project etc rather than just simply mentioning she is doing a postgrad in social work.

Also enjoying how AnSh are dancing around each other and with each other whilst trying to balance family, work and studies...so cute! The two of them are desperate for the other's company and are purposefully/accidentally making each other even more desperate 😆 Loved irritated A and playful S

Looking forward to the next one! Happy writing, Suchi! 👍🏼
onlinebuddy75 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Suchi,

Read nearly 5-6 parts today in a go. I felt like reading a story. Loved every bit of it. You wrote it wonderfully.
anshurg5 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Suchi ,

I am liking the way you haven woven your story around the college life.👍🏼

You put lot of efforts to write about different social issues ,

waiting for Ansh romance ka tadka in between 😳
Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
*****Scene 2 Part 4*****

Anandi, Saritha and Harsh had decided to take the bus and travel into the heart of the city.
Udaipur was known for its lakes and beautiful palaces. But, these are not the places that she wanted to visit. She knew that the real Udaipur, the one that craved for attention was to be found in its streets.

As soon as the bus arrived Anandi got onto it, followed by Saritha and Harsh. This was her first bus ride in the city.

'Pretty empty' she thought to herself as she looked around

Usually the bus was crowded with people crashing onto of each other only during rush hours, but during mid-afternoon it was pretty much empty.

Anandi took out her scratch pad and started scribbling something.

'What are you writing' asked Saritha

'nothing much yet. Lets just take notes on the condition of the bus itself first. Since this is a major means of transportation for many who attend our college. Mujhe lagtha hai , we should concentrate on what affects our college immediately. Then move on from there. ' she suggested

Saritha and Harsh agreed to her suggestion and started scribbling down their notes. Well-Harsh did open his notepad. If he took notes or not was another matter.


The bus stopped at what looked like a tea stall. There was dust on both sides of the road. Few passengers got off the bus and Anandi noticed that few men, who were having tea at the stall, started walking towards the bus stop. The conductor blew his whistle indicating the driver to start moving but was interrupted by one of men.


'bhaiyyah jaldi karthay hain na-bus aapkay liye ithni dair nahi rukh sakthi' complained the conductor

'teray baap ka maal hai kya bay?' shouted the man

'ye public property hai. AUr hum kya hai--?' shouted the man

'Public' replied his buddies in chorus

'teekh hai chaliye' said the conductor stiffly.

Anandi felt a sudden rush of fear. It must have been her instincts. She knew that the people who had just entered were up to something bad. She did not get proper vibes from them and judging by the facial expressions of Saritha and Harsh, she knew that they felt the same.

For a moment she was glad that Harsh was with them.

The three men looked at them while moving towards the end of the bus.

She heard the conductor's whistle again and the bus started to move.

"Duniya chale pichhadi toh main chalu agaadi
Sab khel jaanta hoon, main hoon bada khiladi

Sang the man who had argued with the conductor

Chinta ta ta chita chita, chinta ta ta.. 'followed the other two'

Arrey kya rang roop hai
Kya chaal-dhaal hai
Arrey kya rang roop hai
Kya chaal dhaal hai
Yeh lajawaab hai
Yeh bemisaal hai
Chinta ta ta chita chita, chinta ta ta..

'Kithna bakwas ker rahe hain' mumbled saritha angrily

Anandi saw Harsh making a moment

'yeh sahih tareeqa nahi hai' she said holding his hand and stopping him.

They could hear laughter behind them.

"Lets get off the next stop' suggested saritha

'Finally !' said saritha with relief

'we should write this matter down' said Anandi

'what -ye matter. This is so common yahan per. Aur waise bhi there is no solution for this' argued saritha

Anandi thought for a minute and then turned towards Harsh.

'Aapko pata hai ki police station kahan per hai? she asked

'Kya!?' shouted saritha

'Anandi come on. Unhonay kuch kiya tho nahi na-aise hi thodi na complaint ker sakthay hain' she panicked

'Saritha, thum police sey ithna kiyun darthi ho. Voh hain humari madad ke liye na. AUr main complaint kernay nahi ja rahi hun' she added

Harsh was observing them silently.

'Ok chalo Anandi' he added finally

They called an auto rickshaw and headed towards the station.

'are you sure?' interrupted sairtha every few minutes.

'agar meray papa ko pata chala na ki main police station gayi hun. Ennay chutney akidvangay (they will crush me) ' she mumbled

Anandi smiled at her and then picked up her phone.

'Hello'

'aaj bhi ithni jaldi finish ho gaya aapka college' said Shiv

'Nahi shiv, mujhe na ek zaroori kaam aa gaya hai' she added

'Zaroori kaam?'

Anandi then narrated the whole incident to him.

'Main aajaon?' asked shiv with worry

"Nahi shiv iski koi zaroorat nahi hai. Han lekin aap us police station main call zaroor ker dijiyega. Taki unko pata chalay ki hum aa rahe hain. Aur voh bhi humari baat sahih tarah sey sun le' added Anandi

'Teekh hai'

'shaam ko milthay hain-bye'

Anandi knew that if Shiv would call them, her work would become easier. She did not like using his power to get special treatment for herself but when necessary if power can be utilized for a greater good there is nothing wrong in it. She remembered her outburst with Shiv as to how he had gotten the fund- approval and the way she had accused him of thinking her to be weak. It was Shiv who had made her realize that , for greater good if one uses power and influence thats being intelligent not weak.


Kya hum yahan kay inspector sey mil sakthay hain' asked Anandi to a constable who had been standing at the station door.

'andhar jayiye. sahab andhar hi hain' he said pointing towards the door.

Anandi went inside and saw the inspector hanging up the phone.

'Aap-' he started

'Ghani khamma, main Anandi Shekar' said Anandi

'aayiye, madam ji. Kahiye hum aapki kya seva ker sakthay hain' said the inspector immediately.

He gestured for them to sit down.

'waise kuch tanda, garam pehlay?' he asked

'nahi iski koi zaroorat nahi hai' said Anandi. She managed to look at Saritha and Harsh's face who

looked quite taken aback.

Anandi quickly narrated the whole incident to the inspector

'aap mujhe bus bata dijiye ki voh dikhtay kaise hain. Main unko jald sey jald andhar kerwa dunga' said the inspector boldly

'aapnay ithna kaha yah bohot hai humaray liye. lekin meray paas ek aur sujaav hai.'

'batayiye'

Anandi then laid out her suggestion. She said that if they were able to send one policeman every morning and evening on the bus route that leads to their college for one week, then the situation would get better. They would put up flyers on the bus and ask the policeman to talk to the passengers during rush hours about how they can easily come to them if they find any inappropriate behavior during their travel. This would not only encourage the passengers to defend their rights but also create fear in the hearts of those who intend to create trouble.

The inspector was impressed with her idea and immediately agreed to it.

After signing some necessary forms which was a summary of the service Anandi had requested, they left the police station and made their way towards college.


[pls. hit the like button and comment. It gives me encouragement to write more!]
Don_theEvil thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
omg anandi impress kar diya apne friend ko... awesome update... jaldi se update karo.. meri update ki bhoot bhadti hi ja rahi hai.. 😆
Edited by Don_theEvil - 12 years ago
jazz89 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Very nice update dear 😊
thats exactly is what CVs need to show

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