When she saw Khushi standing over her, hands on her hips, smiling brightly at her, La suddenly looked around forgetting where she was. Then it hit her!
Khushi became serious. 'Yeah we did!'
'And?'
'And...I've decided to let go of the past and move on. I've decided to go home! My family did not deserve any of the things I've put them through La.'
'And what about Arnav?'
'Well I know he'll be there! And I think I'm ok with it. He still has about 6 months till he graduates and that'll give me time to ease into things. I think I can manage to be civil with him. I don't know if we can ever go back to being friends again. But I'm definitely not going to stay away from my Amma and Babuji anymore.'
'Well I'm happy that you've finally made the right choice Koo'
After dinner, La went out with Abhi. Khushi sat in the garden of their Villa sipping a Cappuccino. Arnav knew she would be alone and came looking for her. What he saw took his breath away! She was wearing a long white linen shirt with beige linen fitted pants. She had her hair open and face devoid of makeup except kohl lining her beautiful eyes. She was looking far away and she finally looked like she was at peace. Arnav's heart skipped a beat as she suddenly turned to her right and looked straight into his eyes. He started walking towards her slowly.
Khushi was surprised that she could still sense Arnav's presence anywhere. Her heart started beating wildly and suddenly she found her throat parched. She swallowed visibly, but couldn't avert her gaze away from his caramel eyes as he slowly started walking towards her.
Arnav came and sat on the bench next to her and looked at the water. It calmed him down a little. He said 'I had to see you and talk to you again Khush! I've missed you so much these past 2 years' while still staring ahead.
'I've missed you too Arnav...more than you'll ever know'.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she blinked them away with great difficulty. Arnav slowly took her hand in his and squeezed it. She was surprised at this gesture to say the least. She didn't take her hand away...she didn't know why. But she needed this! She needed to hear him out, she needed to forgive him, she needed to get away from the past and move on! She had grieved...oh only she knew how much! She was done now! She decided that she has to handle this like an adult. No more running away! She looked down at their entwined hands and marveled at the contrast. Her hand was small, soft and milky white while his was big and brown and strong. It felt so good! She instantly snapped out of her thoughts and chided herself! She looked at him then. He was looking at her intently trying to gauge her feelings.
'What are you thinking Khushi? Please! Talk to me! Yell at me! Hit me! But please, say something...anything!'
'I don't know what to say Arnav. We've been best friends for so long! It was very hard not having you around me everyday! On top of that, I fell in love with you and that made things more difficult. Not only did I lose my friend, my confidante, but I also lost my first love. I was mad, I was sad! I cursed my fate for giving me the bad end of the rope. Then, when the anger died, I was just left with this immense sadness...like a big gaping hole in my heart. I had to get away from it all. I wasn't strong enough to face it and get through it. So I ran! Now all of a sudden, here we are! But I'm grateful to you for making me see sense. You are right! I shouldn't be punishing my family. They love me very much and I love them too. It's not fair on them.'
Arnav squeezed her hand again and said 'I'm glad you see it that way. Every time I met Ram Uncle or your Mom, I felt guilty. I'm as responsible for all this as you are...maybe more! I just hope that you have it in your heart to forgive me and give us a second chance. Khush, I'm ready to do anything! Please!'
Khushi looked at his anguished face and thought for a minute. 'Arnav? You spoke about second chances earlier too. What do you mean by that? A second chance at what? Our friendship or...?'
Khushi's cheeks flushed and she looked down embarrassed at herself. She hated the way her heart betrayed her. But then she remembered her resolution and looked up to him, steeling herself. Arnav looked at her with so much tenderness that she thought she's going to melt.
'What do you think Khush? You think we can go back to being just friends like before? I know I can't! Can you?! I meant a second chance for us...you know...'
Arnav had never been this flustered before. He let go of Khushi's hand and clasped his together. He was nervous. Yeah, the great ASR was nervous about a girl! He let out a short laugh. Khushi looked towards him. She could tell he was all wound up about what she's going to say.
'Us? What us Arnav? When were we ever 'us'? For one day for like 5 minutes? And then what? You freaked out and ran! And here we are 2 years later, barely hanging by a thread! There is no us! And there isn't going to be any us! I don't think I even want to be friends with you anymore. The only reason why I'm talking to you is because I want to go home!!! My home!!! To my parents and sister!!!'
Khushi was screaming now, tears running down her face. Her whole body was shaking. She didn't remember a time when she was this worked up...anger, frustration, heart break, helplessness all coming out of her in bursts!
'I'm not ready to put myself at your mercy again Arnav! I just can't! I've spent way too much time beating myself up over how silly I was to fall in love with a guy who doesn't believe in love! I can't...I won't make myself vulnerable again. So, no thank you! I'm happy that I finally spoke to you and brought things out in the open. Let's just learn to be civil to each other for our families' sake'.
Khushi finished her long speech with a sigh. She made an effort not to look at him and stared down at her hands. She didn't know how long they sat next to each other like that without saying anything...could've been just a couple of minutes, but it seemed to tick awfully slowly. Finally she mustered enough courage to look at him. He had his face turned to the other side, gazing up at the sky and deep in thought.
'Arnav? Look I'm sorry for my rant, but that's just how I want things to be, ok?'
Saying that she stood up to go. 'Good night Arnav'
She turned towards her cottage and took 2 steps when she was yanked into Arnav's chest forcefully. she gasped and looked into his blazing caramel eyes. She winced in pain when his hold on her hand tightened. Arnav was seething with anger and his breath was coming in short gasps.
'Keh diya jo kehna tha? Ya aur bhi kuch baaki hain? Tum apne aap ko samajthi kya ho? Is this a joke? Are you trying to deliberately hurt me for what I did? Is this your way of taking revenge?' he screamed!
Khushi was confused. She shook her head and opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Arnav let her go and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
'Look Khush! I don't know if this is love that I feel towards you or what! But I have realized that I have run behind enough girls to last 10 life times. But ever since you left me, I haven't touched anyone. I just wanted to see you, talk to you, be with you! I missed you like hell!! I wanted you back in my life. I've been miserable these past few years and I tried to find the reason...I tried to figure out what it is that I feel towards you. All I can say at this point is that I want to be with you and no one else. I can't stop thinking about you. I need you to be there for me! And I want to be there for you, make you laugh again and have fun like we used to again. And I am ready to do anything you want. I know you want commitment and marriage and security n' all and if that's what it takes to be with you, then I am ready for that too! Lets just start things slow and maybe in a couple of years we'll take the next step. But, please Khushi, please don't walk away from me!'
Khushi was stunned! She couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'See that's just it Arnav! You want to give a commitment because you think I wont be with you otherwise, because I a traditional that way...not because you want to commit yourself to me because you love me and you want to spend your entire life with me! What kind of foundation will this be for our relationship? I am sorry, Arnav. Please forgive me. I am just not ready for another heart break! I am done being hurt! DONE! Goodbye!'
With that she turned around swiftly and ran into the night towards her cottage. leaving a gaping Arnav behind. Once inside, she bolted the door and slid to the floor and let the tears pour out. She didn't know whether she did the right thing or not. Her heart ached to run back into his arms and accept whatever he was ready to give her. Hell! She even wanted to tell him that she won't attach any strings to their relationship. But she knew she had to be strong. She had suffered too much to put herself through the same trauma again. No! She decided it is best this way. 2 years was enough time for him to have realized what exactly he felt towards to her and where exactly he wanted their relationship to head. She was not ready to jump into something that may or may not have a future. She felt her heart break all over again and she threw herself on the bed and cred herself to sleep.
Arnav couldn't believe Khushi ran away from him just like that...rejecting him! His eyes stung and his heart ached. He felt the void that he'd been feeling from the past couple of years, become bigger and deeper. The ache he felt in his heart traveled to his head and the pit of his stomach. He crumbled to the ground and whispered 'Khushi!'
Bindi
Udne Ki Aasha
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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