Always,Only You --(fiction)-- THREAD 2 - Page 25

Chapter 28

All through the journey back and in the lift the grip of Yash's hand on Aarti's did not loosen. He did not say much, neither did Aarti. But both were in no doubt where this was leading.

Yash finally let go of Aarti's hand to retrieve the card to open the room. His hands were feverish his excitement and anticipation were getting the better of him. When he could not find it in his purse he patted himself down but was still not successful.

"Damn" Yash said with growing frustration. This just could not be happening. Not now.

"Your back pocket?" Aarti suggested, she too was getting incredibly hot all over and the delay was turning the screws even tighter.

"Ok (and went on to search for it there and finally hit a solid object) thank GOD" Yash exclaimed. He was never clumsy and was meticulous to a fault. So he wondered how he could have been so clueless about the card. Then he remembered how distracted he had been since the evening when Aarti had asked for his help with her blouse. She had succeeded in driving away all thoughts from his mind since then. God only knew how he had survived this long without vaporizing.

His hands started to shake as he opened the door to their room and let Aarti inside first who went inside and stood near the window trying to steady herself by looking at the view outside.

Yash slowly came in.

Yash stopped, turned and closed the door shut.

Aarti gulped as she sensed Yash approach her from behind. She put a hand to her chest, the thud of the door echoing the beat of her heart.

Yash took slow steps towards Aarti who was standing with her back to him.

He kept moving till he reached her, this was how she had stood when they had come in this morning little did he know that the night was going to end on such a note.

"Are you sure? Is this what you want?" Yash decided to give her a chance to back away.

Aarti got goose bumps all over her body at hearing Yash's voice. She did not even listen to the question he had asked and kept standing as she was gazing outside but with her mind firmly inside on what was about to happen.

Yash took her silence as a 'YES'. He had wanted it to be a yes, needed, prayed and desperately wanted it to be a 'YES'. He finally lifted both his hands and traced Aarti's body from behind drawing her hand down from her chest.

A moan escaped Aarti and she closed her eyes. Yash stilled removed his hands off her. He felt Aarti shiver. He smiled to himself. Aarti grew anxious when Yash stopped. He removed the pin from her pallu and it slid to the ground leaving Aarti exposed. Her hands instinctively went to cover herself. Yash then immediately held her wrists and again pulled her hands down. He held her firmly to him and gave her a kiss at the nape of her neck. Aarti fisted her hands which were still in Yash's grasp. This was sweet torture. She doubted she could stand firm on her two legs any longer. He moved closer still and let her feel what seeing her in that state of undress was doing to his body. He felt a jolt run through her which triggered one in his own body.

He was killing her but she was willing to die happily at his hands like this. She was killing him but he would die without a second thought and what a pleasurable way to die it was.

"You are so beautiful I am having trouble breathing when I look at you" Yash muttered.

Aarti froze. His words hit her like sharp barbs. Why she questioned herself? That was such a complimentary thing any woman would love to hear it, yet it pierced through her daze and hit her like a poisonous arrow.

He had said something similar the last time they were together. That was it, that is why it irked her so much.

Yash rained kisses on her back and kneeled down behind her and just held her legs in his embrace.

Aarti had stopped reacting. The woman in her was finding all this wrong suddenly. The woman in her was wounded by Yash's rejection after the night of passion. Time had done nothing to heal her completely. When the push came to shove she was just not ready to move away from what happened then.

How could she? She was still in fear that he may again react the same way the morning after. If that did not have a logical reason then what was the guarantee of history not repeating itself.

So Aarti steeled herself from melting before Yash. It was an impossible task she knew but she had to try. For the sake of her sanity she had to try.

"Stop" she said in an almost inaudible voice.

Yash was so immersed in what he was doing that he did not catch what Aarti had said. He got up and embraced her from behind. His senses detected something amiss. He could not still make out why there was a change in the atmosphere. That is when he found something wrong with Aarti's reaction or rather the lack of it.

"I said stop it" Aarti repeated herself louder and forcefully this time around.

"What is the matter Aartiji? Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?" Yash asked loosening his grip on Aarti, yet not fully leaving her.

"I do not want things to go any further" she said hoping he would just give up and move away.

Yash was taken aback. Just a second ago Aarti was melting into this embrace. What had brought this sudden change in her? He was so perplexed he did not know what to do. So he tried to understand her once again.

"I am asking again Aartiji...what happened? Why are you going away from me" He meant not just physically but mentally as well.

Aarti just kept quiet.

"So that's it. You just leave me high and dry, no explanations given" Yash's voice held so much hurt that it hurt Aarti in turn. Yet she refused to give him any answers.

"Why the hell did you lead me on then? The necklace...the dance...everything was a come-on Aartiji. Don't tell me you thought differently" Yash removed his hands from her and started to walk backwards away from her. He feared he would end up begging her otherwise.

Aarti knew he was right. She did lead him on but his talking about rejection rubbed her the wrong way. He was the one who had the upper hand at that. He bloody rejected her the most brutal way there was.

"You just do as you please. Do you have even a remotest idea how I am feeling right now? Why are you keeping quiet? Answer me dammit answer me" Yash yelled.

Still Aarti was too lost in her own misery to think about Yash. Yash had finally had enough of silence. He went and grabbed her and turned her around to face him. He was shocked to see tears rolling down both her cheeks.

"Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? To see me in tears" Aarti finally said something.

"No Aartiji.." Yash tried to wipe her tears. His hurt was forgotten in the presence of hers.

"No Yashji...you just asked me if I knew what you are feeling right now. Oh! believe me I do. I have freaking too much experience at it in your hands"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Yash asked totally confused still unable to understand her behavior.

"Don't tell me you have suddenly developed short term memory loss along with insensitivity as well Yashji" Aarti taunted.

"Again Aarti I am not able to get what's gotten into you or what you are referring to" Yash said with growing anger.

"Ok if you want it spelt out then here goes...YOU REJECTED ME...YES YOU REJECTED ME after that first time in Mumbai?" Aarti shrieked her lungs out when saying that.

So much repressed emotions came bursting out. For so long she had denied her pain. For so long she had suffered silently but today...now... she just could not hold it in any longer. And the dam had finally burst.

Aarti was heaving and crying at the same time while Yash had turned to stone.

"You know what your problem is...you are self-centred. You used me and then discarded me. Did you ever feel guilty over doing so?

We did not even take any precautions. Did you even once think what could have happened if I had got pregnant?

A pale half-hearted apology was all I got from you.

What were you sorry about? Spending the night with me or enjoying it a bit too much.

Or were you sorry that you forgot I was just the mother of your kids and regretted having a one night stand with me.

You...YOU... used me...and you made me feel cheap later.

Do you realize how I felt back then and what I still feel till now" Aarti let out her angst all at one go and felt empty inside. Hollow to her very soul.

Upon seeing no reaction from Yash, Aarti just turned back and started to readjust her saree. She knew Yash would not have an answer for that. She just wanted to...God she did not know what she wanted to do now. She wanted to smash things around her real bad but just controlled herself from going crazy.

Minutes passed and then some more. The silence in the room after the outburst was very telling and in a contrast to what had happened just earlier when suddenly the silence was broken.

"You may not not like what you hear" Yash said in an inaudible voice.

Aarti stopped everything she was doing. She slowly turned back to face Yash. There was so much pain etched on his face that for a second Aarti forgot her own and wanted to rush to him to soothe him. But she held back this was necessary.

The truth had to come out only then...only then what? She did not have an answer for that.

FLASHBACK OF THE MORNING AFTER IN MUMBAI (In detail but Yash only gives just the outline to Aarti)

God I cannot even leave her alone in her dreams. Why can't I get enough of her? She has made me insatiable I want her again and again and again.

Better go away fast before I take her again. I have to allow her to sleep. She must be exhausted. After nearly drowning in water I seemed have drowned her in my passion.

He smiled and shook his head at that notion. He was putty in her hands without her even trying for it.

Yes she needs rest and when she wakes up a hot cup of her favourite coffee and some healthy breakfast in bed would be just the perfect start of her day.

God! I am famished not just for Aarti...some food would do both of us some good to recuperate I seemed to have developed an appetite.

He made himself get off the bed wrap a towel around himself, adjust the blanket more securely around Aarti and head towards the kitchen. The mess made in the room did not seem to affect him anymore.

He went down humming a romantic song. It was a good thing that both Chagan and his wife were on leave today. He wanted the house to himself for a while. He saw the message light blink in the answering machine.

He immediately checked his cell phone to see any missed calls there too. None. So he felt better as it could not be from JoJo's place with the kids having some issue. But then who could have left a message and when? He surely did not remember hearing a call last night.

He went and played the message over... he had a smile when he heard who it was and what the voice was saying

"Mere bhagwan ki kasam Aarti... these days it is very hard to reach you Aarti. I am forced to leave a message this time. When you do go shopping today do not forget that I will not wear any cotton "bhenji-type" sarees.

During your marriage that's all your so-called parents gave me. I did not even touch them and gave them off to Ram Dulare to dispose off. Make sure you do not repeat their mistake. Buy something expensive...cheap quality fabric gives me rashes. I cannot tell you how sensitive my skin is.

Anyway...how is your "holiday" going on by the way? Did you finally succeed in "seducing" Yash or not? I know...I know...that jiji told you about how our Yash chose you from a huge selection of girls. But do not forget your place in this household is still very shaky. You are an orphan of dubious origins who did not bring even a single penny as dowry. So who knows what tomorrow holds for you? So cement your position by putting a bun in your oven. All bhaiya and jiji want from you is a POTA...other than that even an "aaya" could have taken care of Palak and Payal. So stick to your mission. You can thank me later for having been the one who had suggested it to you. Chalo enough of chit chat, I am getting late for my evening prayer. But do not forget that saree I asked for though...whole 6 yards of it..with embroidery work at the border and yes ...expensive...branded preferably"

Click.

With that the message had ended and the bubble in which Yash was floating since morning burst. Yash turned pale as if his life got sucked out of him. He back-tracked a couple of steps, faltering when his legs touched the sofa behind, at which he turned back facing away from the phone. As if by not looking at it, all that he had heard would just get erased. How he wished this was not the truth...how he wished that Aarti did not "plan" the whole thing that this was just as unexpected for her as it was for him. That it meant at least something to her if not everything like it did for him. He pressed his hands to his ears to cut off Buaji's words from reverberating in his ears.

But that uneasiness he had had since they touched Mumbai resurfaced. He knew Aarti was behaving oddly since they got to Mumbai. Her dressing style changed, she became sort of more carefree and open with him, she made his favourite dishes, tried to involve him in all that she did be it with children or her alone. As if drawing him towards her? He had brushed off such feelings saying he was imagining things that it was wishful thinking on his part to want Aarti too to have some feelings for him. That she was trying to attract him in an effort to change the equation between them without actually stating the obvious. But that was not the case as it turned out, as all that she did added up to what Buaji told over the phone. Of course it did.

Oh God ! Aarti set me up. Of course, this was her well thought out carefully orchestrated plan. How long did she spend planning this, I wonder? Good lord ! and I fell for it like a fool...hook line and sinker. She must be laughing her head off at me. Poor, pathetic Yash Scindia...so easy to seduce.

No...Aartiji..Never...I agree I love you, I agree I want you desperately but not like this. Never like this. You played me for a fool but I refuse to be a pawn in whatever game you are playing.

Yash climbed the steps back to the bedroom. Not realizing that his subconscious mind still wanted to be with Aarti that it was still refusing to believe the truth. But his conscious mind and his bruised ego crushed all such thoughts not giving them a chance to surface.

Look at her sleeping so peacefully. But of course she will, she had succeeded in her mission did she not? Yash felt like throwing up. This was something he had not imagined even in his worst nightmares.

He was fighting a growing sense of injustice meted to him by Aarti and anger caused by it. He wanted to shake her up and shout at her for playing such a game with him.

He wanted her to tell him that this was not a game that she did love him. That last night held no secret agenda but it was just an expression of love.

What rubbish? The witch bewitched me and had her way. Who wants her love? I don't want her and I most certainly don't want her love. Oh ! but I do. God Aarti ! what have you done to me...I so want you even now. Oh! I am going out of my mind. This is crazy.

He held his head to stop his thoughts. He was so confused so utterly shattered he just did not know what to think. He tried to divert his mind so he looked around the room in a hope to find something to take his mind off this excruciatingly painful revelation of Aarti's true intentions.

He looked around at the room... all the wet clothes were laying all over the floor. What a few minutes ago did not bother him started to irritate him a lot.

He recollected how in their haste to be with one another...no in his haste to be with her...she was just faking it or rather she just played along going with the flow happy that things were going according to her plan...whatever...the clothes were discarded without a care then but now their sight just rankled him.

"What a mess" he muttered picking up the clothes with unnecessary force.

He picked up the clothing and put them to dry in the balcony outside. When he returned he was again drawn towards the bed. Just then Aarti made a mewing sound in her sleep and turned towards the side Yash was standing, exposing her body. And in spite of the volcanic anger building in him he got aroused. It made him hate himself all the more. He hated his weakness when it came to Aarti. He fisted his hands to prevent himself from reaching out and turned away from her moving to the farthest corner of the room.

If I stay here longer I will definitely do something that I am going to regret. I need to distance myself from her. I need space to think. I have made a mistake I will not repeat it.

No one absolutely no one gets away from making a fool of Yash Scindia. No one.

*************

But giving himself space did not do the trick as he had lost his cool and reacted the way he had. He had thought he was putting Aarti in her place by reacting that way. He felt justified and got a pleasure at foiling her grand plan. But that sense of self-righteousness did not last long, especially after cooling down in Bhopal later.

He had gone to apologise to Aarti. What he had done was unforgivable; he had felt truly ashamed and regretted having behaved like an animal.

He had hoped that she would fight with him and call him names for having spent a night with her and gone berserk but she did not do that it seemed cementing her place by seducing him was not worth the effort. She "regretted that night more than he did". His humiliation was complete. It was then he decided to bury that night and never think about it again.

But his feelings for Aarti could never be suppressed. From seeing her the first thing in the morning, to interacting with her while dealing with the kids, to spending time discussing his days work with her, to sharing her worries and joys about the household and to finally putting the pillows between them just before sleeping. She was everywhere around him. It was not humanely possible Yash decided to fall out of love with Aarti. So as days went by the hurt he had received at her hand did not stop him from craving her all over again.

She was genuine in her affections for his family he never doubted that. Her concern for Pankaj bhaiya during the whole blackmail fiasco, her being there for Vidhi bhabhi during that phase, god she even faced a goon for them, her getting distraught when Pratik and Pari got separated, her efforts to bring them back together and a whole list of things she did for everyone just reinforced what he always knew.

Yet he could understand her insecurity regarding her place in the family. After all her life as an orphan could not have been easy, he wanted to talk about her past but had always chickened out.

He had always given her due as his wife before the family. He was also sure none of the other family members questioned her position in the household.

So if she was having doubts why did she never ever hint at it before? To go all the distance to seduce him now seemed too far-fetched to be believable.

He questioned maybe he had jumped the gun and been too hasty to react. Maybe it was not a plan as Buaji had mentioned...maybe it just happened for her too. Did he burn the bridge to reach her heart by being cruel to her? Had he lost his one and only chance with her? Did she hate him now? Did she hate that night as well?

Questions had burnt a hole in his mind.

He so wanted her to give me a sign...something to say that all was not lost.

And finally he had got a reaction about that night that was neither regret nor indifference and a ray of hope glowed in the total darkness.

*********************

Yash finished his side of the story about how he thought Buaji's message to be true, how he had reacted as a result and later how he had regretted for ever believing such a thing, and waited to see what Aarti would make of all of it.

TO BE CONTINUED...

PS: Now here is the thing. If I want I can end this story in the next update. But if you like I can prolong the story with other plots that I have in mind.

So when you comment just let me know if you think I should prolong or end??

This is the biggest update to date

I have not proof read it and there are bound to be mistakes I will correct at leisure. Just wanted to get the MSG part out of my system. PHEW !!!!