Arnav jogged in through the large wrought iron gates of Shantivan, & just outside the main door he stopped & drank from the water bottle feeling incredibly thirsty. It was his second run of the day, & it wasn't a decision taken out of care for his health, but out of frustration.
It was a Sunday. & normally the house would be packed to inches on Sundays, but today was different. All the Raizada women had gone to the jewelers for Anajali & Payal's wedding sets from the Raizada's. They had also dragged Akaash & Manohar with them too, saying their inputs would come in handy too. & Arnav had also heard his Di mention to him, in that sometimes cute, sometimes annoying habit of hers to keep him up-to-date with everything happened or was going to happen during her day, that the Raizada's were going to pick the Gupta women up on their way to the jewelers.
At first, Arnav had been happy at the opportunity to have some much needed alone time. He had hoped to have some work done so that he would be slightly ahead of his schedule before the wedding functions began in full force, & the house got packed with the whole of Lucknow & half of Delhi. But he had little such luck.
Work had never been this difficult for him to concentrate on. It was ridiculous that, he would look at his own typing hands on the laptop & the simple gold band on his finger would remind him of how even she had a ring on the same finger of her same hand. Hers was not as simple as his, but a cluster of seven tiny diamonds. But the ring looked so simple & fresh on her beautiful, long, shapely fingers. Her hands were just too angelically beautiful. & whenever he saw that ring, Arnav couldn't help himself, but all he wanted to do was take her finger in his mouth, capture that ring between his teeth & then slowly pull that ring out of her finger, while his lips grazed on that delectable little finger.
Then angered at his alarming train of thought, Arnav had tried to do some gardening, which always helped calm his senses down. & when he had been watering the Tea Rose plant, he noticed two tiny buds of roses had come along on it, & the first thing that came to his mind was how it had been exactly two days since he had seen her on the roof of her house. He had immediately thrown away the watering can shouting 'That's it, Damn It!' & feeling the need for some physical activity to relieve him of some of the tension he felt, he had quickly changed into his track suit & had went out for a jog.
But even the physical exertion hadn't helped him when he found he had been circling Nikunja for the third time in less than twenty minutes. So he had given up & came back home.
Now as he pushed open the front door & went inside the house in quick footsteps, his head tilted back as he drank from the water bottle, he didn't even notice the person sitting on the sofa in the hall beside him. & he was halfway on his way towards the stairs that led to the upper floor, when he heard the call, "Arnavji?"
Arnav stopped dead in his tracks, & then wishing it wasn't another figment of his imagination which was hyper-active when it acme to her, & hoping for his sanity that it was indeed his imagination, he turned slowly on his spot. & there she was. Right there in the hall of his own house, in a simple red dress cinched at the waist with a shiny red belt. Her hair falling in a wild halo around her face & she looked almost afraid to be standing there.
Arnav saw her clenching & unclenching her claws in a nervous manner, before she stopped them & inserted them into the side pockets of her dress. Suddenly looking at her, Arnav recalled all that had happened three days before, & he cursed his brains for even forgetting such an important thing just as he caught a delicious glimpse of her. But in his defense, he thought as his scanned her from head to toe for a couple of times, she did look rather too fetching in Red. He had never figured out before why Red was his perpetual favorite color, although he always preferred to wear shades of Black, or Brown, or Gray. Maybe this was why. Maybe his subconscious mind had always known, someday the annoying little baby Gupta would turn into this amazingly beautiful creature & a glance at her in Red would make him go totally light in the head & that's why he always had a special preference for the flashy color.
Arnav shook his head to clear it off these unwanted, teenaged thoughts, & decided he had to say something quick, because all of his mute staring was making her distinctly & visibly uncomfortable as she was constantly shifting on her feet now. Arnav clutched the water bottle tightly in his hand & asked in a tone that came out harsher than he intended it to be, "What are you doing here? Did you want something? Di isn't here-" Arnav stopped as he remembered where Di had gone off to, he furrowed his brows & asked in a astonished voice, "Wait a minute! Why are you here & not with my family & yours? Di & all were supposed to pick up Payal & the others from your home... Didn't they?... Then why are you here?" & then as if he suddenly finding the answers to his own numerous questions, Arnav was in front of Khushi in three long strides, & holding her right arm in concerned manner, he asked quietly, "Khushi, tum thik ho na? Did you not go because you were upset over...?" he trailed off in an uncertain tone, not sure if he should broach the subject.
But Khushi rapidly shook her head, "No. I... I didn't go because I just didn't feel like it. & as it is I don't like looking at all that jewelry for so long. I actually... I came here to... I just wanted to..." Khushi was mortified at the way she was stammering all flustered like this. Maybe it had to do with all the things they had shouted at each other on that unfortunate day in the studio. Last time she had seen her on the roof of Nikunja, she was too wrapped up in her own history to remember their own history word for word, but now, alone in the big hall of Shantivan, just like they were alone at that studio, she remembered all of it as if it had just happened yesterday.
...Girls who played too hard to get, always bored me pretty fast!
...You didn't mean a thing to me, other than a bratty nuisance...
...Mujhe na tumse aur baat karni hain... Naa timhari shakal dekhni hain!
Khushi looked up with a start as Arnav shook her arm to bring her back to present. As she looked up at him, he hooked his left eyebrow up to silently ask what was wrong, & his natural behavior to her now gave her a bit of peace. Well, he was the one who had come up to the roof to meet with her & he was the one who had been the most perceptive of her state out of all, didn't he? That evening, it had almost felt like he cared about her well-being. That evening, he was the Arnav that Rohan talked about. & besides, that day, in the studio, they had both said some unforgivable things. So if he could come to try & empathize with her after all that, why couldn't she just go ahead & say what she had come to say today?
Khushi lowered her head, fixed her gaze at his chin & blurted out in a rush, "I came to say sorry to you. & thank you... Both actually." Arnav looked at her lowered lashes, & her trembling lips, & all of a sudden, the feel of her skin under his palm & the ridiculously tasty smell of vanilla wafting away from her hair became too much for him. His hand fell away from her arm & as Khushi looked up alarmed, he said with forced casualness, "Well, only someone as mental as you could want to apologize to me & thank me at the same time. So, go ahead. I am feeling very receptive." He folded his arms over his chest & went back two steps very nonchalantly. Or at least, he hoped it seemed nonchalant to her, & not like he was trying to escape her feel & scent, because he bloody wasn't.
Khushi licked her suddenly dry lips, & said in a clear voice, "I am sorry at the way I initially snapped at you that evening. I know now you were just trying to help... I appreciate it. Thank you, Arnavji. I needed to hear it from someone like you. Someone who, unlike my family, wasn't so close to my existence, that they were completely obscured from my focus. I needed to know about the hurt it was causing my family to see me like that. & they would never let me know that my behavior was hurting them so much. So thank you, for being the voice of reason. Thank you for reminding me of the blessing that I have got out of all that mess. My family. Thank you."
Arnav looked into her eyes that were more dark honey than warm gold that moment, & felt something move inside him at the signs of trouble in her features. As he spoke, he heard concern oozing out of his voice, & he didn't care what that implied for him, "Sure. Anytime, Khushi. But is everything alright now?" Khushi's stormy eyes clashed with his as she waved her hands in a frustrated way, "Will it ever be alright, Arnavji? You tell me! Does it get better? If so, then when? When can you start talking about it, ask questions about it, without the fear of totally disrupting the unstable equilibrium? When will it become OK to ask a woman about her dead sister & what she was like, without feeling like you're mercilessly trying to uproot some deep set wounds?"
Then she suddenly stopped when she realized what she was talking about & to whom. When did Arnav Singh Raizada become her 'go to' person? When did he become the only person she talked about her troubles to? But as she pondered over that irritating question, she heard Arnav's low voiced answer, "The few years that I was here after Ma... After Di & I came to live with Nani & Mama-Mami... It was like that. Di would unwittingly recall some memory & then Nani & she would start crying. Nani would by mistake say something on the breakfast table & then all of them, Nani, Di, Mami, even Mamaji, would start crying. But with time, like now, it gets better I guess. Cause, only today I saw Nani, Mami & Di crying & lamenting on how happy Ma would be if she were here today for Di's wedding. But they weren't the bitter tears like they were before. They were sad tears. But since I have come back this time...? I have also seen them remember Ma in a happy way. Even I can remember the happy times more easily now without getting sidetracked by the ugly things."
& as he ran his hand through his hair in a tired gesture, Khushi felt just how much about himself this man kept under the wraps on a day-to-day basis. Did even his Di or his best friend know about his recollections of the ugly things from his past? Khushi didn't think so. But her thought process was cut short as he continued, "& they have only just come to the point where they can even mention the things from your childhood in your house. So it's only natural that initially it'll be tougher, on everybody. But it'll get better, I know it will. It'll get easier to remember the nicer things more than the gruesome things as time passes by. So hang in there, OK?"
Khushi nodded her head repeatedly to give out her silent promise to him that she will hang around for the better times to arrive. Arnav scanned her face for some visible signs of grief again & then with a shrug, he said, "Well, if that's all, I'd like to go & have a shower. Later!" & he spun & was up on the first flight of stairs in quick steps, when she called him back again, "Arnavji?" He stopped & then turned with a 'what again?' expression on his face, & she hurriedly continued before he lost his thin patience, "Can't we be... Can we be friends? Like Bhaiya & you are? You have been so good to me over this whole thing, & we can be really cordial with each other if we try to be, so why can't we be friends & just bury the hatchets. I don't... I don't like it when we fight like we have been." She finished in a small sad voice.
It was all Arnav could do to just not go over to her & haul her in his arms, smash her in his embrace. She didn't like when they fought? What about him? He had been miserable himself & he had practically made every resident of Shantivan hate him with his maniacal tantrums in the last couple of weeks! & all for what? To be friends with her? It was almost an insult to him after the way he had felt about her since he had come back to India. Friends??! Wasn't she friends with NK? Did she now consider him in the same ranks as NK??!! Was it her way of negating anything & everything that had transpired between them? Arnav clenched his fists & bit out through gritted teeth, "No, I wouldn't like to be your friend."
But as soon as she saw the hurt spring in Khushi's eyes at his harsh words, he regretted them. & seeing that she didn't even ask for any reasons for his rejection, but just stood there looking tiny, he conceded, & said in a voice that had lost all battles, "I can't be your friend, Khushi, because, from the moment I had seen you standing there today, I had just wanted to kiss you. Kiss you the way I had kissed you for the first time that day in the farmhouse. You wore Red that day too. & your vanilla scent... It drove me so crazy, that I felt if I didn't press my face in your hair soon, I'd just loose it! There's just something about you that... & that's why, you & I can't be friends like Rohan & I, cause, trust me, I had never wanted to do any of those things to Rohan, ever!" Almost shouting all that, he turned & went up the stairs towards his room without a backward glance at the girl left stupefied in his wake.
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Precap:
& if life is as unpredictable as hers had proven to be, pampered daughter one day to grateful outsider the next, then why the hell was she going on about lifelong commitments? People made lifelong promises to one another & the very next day one of them would drop dead in front a bus or in a riot. & if this was the way life was, with no guarantee on tomorrow, then she wasn't going to waste another minute by asking Arnav for a commitment. If anything the past three days had taught her, it was that what people felt for each other that mattered, not how other people perceived their relationship or what they said about it.
Khushi stopped with a jolt as she realized she was in front of the main gate of Nikunja. The wind was blowing strongly now & she could feel pin pricks of water drops on her head. Any minute it would start drizzling in earnest & if she didn't want to get drenched in this cold, she had better went inside her home. Khushi swiveled the valve of the gate open & started to push the gate open. But then, she just couldn't go in. There was this immense feeling of restlessness that she needed to be somewhere else. & Khushi turned & started running off towards the direction she had just come from, ignoring the ever-increasing pelts of rain on her body.
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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