ARHI HER LIFE...FOR GOOD OR FOR WORSE Ch 10 (64) - Page 15

Chapter 5

She should be happy to have her own memorable moment in her life. But she was not.

Her body was aching and she couldn't move her legs. It was… hurting. The pain was bearable compared to the pain her heart had. She prepared herself, after what happened last night, to wake up and not to panic on the state she would find herself in. and as a reflexive action of what she mentally prepared, her eyes first flickered on the side table and searched for a paper, and a pill. But the empty table shocked her.

Her eyes then travelled around the length of the room, to find it empty, lifeless… with her clothes scattered on the floor. And she found the same – including a shirt and jeans. As to confirm her doubts, she looked at her right, and found the object of her disturbance. There he lay on the bed, sleeping peacefully with his hair all messed up.

She felt his arms around her waist – bare waist – and smiled at her silliness. She thought he would leave her, before she woke up, and prepared accordingly. She didn't know whether she was happy or shocked to find him still with her. They had nothing between them other than one night fling.

She leaned onto him, taking in his handsomeness. She shouldn't feel this happy to see him. It was not healthy. She never got anything in her life that would settle her down. No. He would leave. Last night was very tiring for them. He must be tired. And he would leave as soon as he woke up from his slumber. She decided that she would be nothing in his life, just like she was nothing to her family. She was nobody. She was unwanted. Arnav would leave the city as soon as the project finished. She or whatever they shared last night would be nothing to him.

But for her…? Would she able to let him go? Would she be able to take rejection from him? She chuckled at her thought. There was nothing between them then how would he probably reject her? She was letting her heart rule over her mind, again. She shouldn't dare to even dream, hope for a better life.

Her lips pressed his temple, without her permission. He stirred in his sleep and she stared at him. Her heart skipped a beat when he pulled her more closely in his arms and took her lips in his.

"Khushi…"he called her after grasping for breath. She didn't open her eyes. She didn't dare to look at him. She was not sure why she was unable to see – whether it was shy, guilty, afraid of what she would find in him, she didn't know. He was with her, and she was in his arms; that was what she wanted to grasp in here memory… forever. "Are you fine…?" she heard him and her eyes snapped open in shock.

"I have been way too rough, Khushi" he whispered, "can you move your se… I mean, lower body?"

She nodded, not knowing whether to feel happy that he cared about her or whether to feel sad that she would not have this moment forever. "I thought you would leave," she confessed and heard him chuckle. He wiped off her tears with his kisses, "you thought, or you wished…?" he cupped her face, making her see him, wanting her to believe his words, trying to remove her fears, "Even if I wish, I can't leave you, Khushi. It's too late to even think about that."

She didn't expect this. She was happy, now, from the time she woke up that morning. Happy that he didn't leave her… happy that he was worried about her… happy that he couldn't… but what would happen to her when one day he leave her behind and go away…?

She was not going to let fate destroy her once again. She would be living in sin if she wished to have him in her life – without proper name for their relation. She slowly untangled herself from him and covered herself properly with the quilt. He didn't urge her to stay. He nodded in agreement.

"Do you need anything?" she heard him from behind and shook her head, dragging herself to the washroom.

She collapsed on the floor, putting on the shower, and let her tears flow freely. She couldn't come up with an answer for her actions. She didn't know what her heart wanted. She wouldn't want to leave Arnav, and at the same time, she couldn't able to push the thought that she did prove her family's accusations on her. They always pointed her without her fault. When a guy proposed her, the first question was, 'what did you do that made him like you?' she requested them to trust her, or at least hear her out.

She was an unwanted child. Her Dadi never liked her just because she was a girl, and hated her. Dadi had been treated her mother as a crap for unable to give the family a son. And so, her mother hated her for her sufferings. Khushi never understood what her fault was. Being as a woman was her only fault. She wanted to laugh at them. Wasn't her Dadi a woman herself? Then why she hated to have granddaughter? Why her mother, instead of supporting her, pointed at her whenever NK or Dadi said a word against her?

She wished to have parents love.

She wished, when she got married on that hospital room, to have her husband's love.

She wished, from the minute NK left her in this unknown city, to have a normal life.

And now, she wished, knowing that her wish would only break her heart again, to have Arnav with her.

What was right and what was wrong, she didn't want to know. Being with him in this nameless relation was a crime; she was ready to do it. Making lov… having sex with him was a sin, then she was more than happy to live in that sin. She would never bring or talk to him about their relation, until he brought it. If he was willing to be with her, at least for a short span, she would grab that opportunity at any cost.

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