Mirage #3 Check note on pg 149 for next thread! - Page 63

It was nearly 10 pm when he was out of Delhi Airport. He didn't even bother going back to his own house. He first needed to meet Khushi and hence, he drove straight away to Khushi's house. Standing outside the door with his luggage bag, he noticed that the lights were on from the side windows.

For a minute, he just wanted to push open the doors and enter inside. But that nagging feeling that she still hadn't forgiven him stopped him from doing so and hence, he pressed the door bell. After a minute, he heard footsteps and the next second, the door was swung open, only to reveal Akash standing in front of him with a scowl on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Arnav questioned immediately, glaring at the man blocking his way. Both of them remembered their last fiery encounter a few weeks ago and knew that the other was fuming with rage. Before Akash could respond back tit for tat, Arnav noticed Khushi come behind Akash and pull him aside. He didn't fail to notice her hand on Akash's shoulder and the way he held her hand in return and it definitely made him feel uneasy to see her touching another man especially in front of him.

A sense of betrayal? Maybe, coz deep inside he expected her to belong to him completely.

But a second later, he felt pangs of guilt tear his heart as he realised that Khushi was not his. Not anymore. She had walked out of his life two weeks ago and she was free to be with anyone she wanted.

But somehow, he couldn't come to terms to accept it.

"Khushi!" he whispered and reached out to her, only to be blocked once again by Akash. "What's your problem Akash?" he roared, his annoyance with this man increasing with every second.

"You know very well what you have done Arnav and I won't allow you to repeat it once again. I should have done this earlier itself. It was my mistake. But now, I won't allow you to hurt her anymore. You were called here to discuss something important. But that doesn't give you any right to go anywhere closer to her. You will never be forgiven for hurting her." Akash warned him in a serious voice.

Arnav gazed into Khushi's eyes, expecting her to say something. But they were inexpressive and silent.

"Why did you call me?" Arnav asked, not breaking the eye contact with her.

"Let's sit down." Khushi suggested, leading the men to the sofa while she sat beside Arnav.

Arnav noticed how Khushi was seated a few inches away from him, absolutely avoiding physical contact and he felt his heart sink. He had come here hoping that she had forgiven him. But it looked like he was going to face a whole lot of disappointment tonight.

"While I went to Akash's house today," Khushi began, looking at the album placed in front of her. "We were going through his family photographs and I noticed this picture."

Arnav stared in disbelief at Khushi and then at Akash, enraged at the very thought that Khushi had gone to the latter's house. He didn't pay attention to what Khushi was saying. Just the thought of both of them being together infuriated him. No wonder, Akash had been discouraging him from the beginning regarding Khushi. That man was behind his Khushi.

"See this photo." Khushi said holding it in front of Arnav's face, causing him to snap back to reality.

"What's there in this?" He asked, taking the photo from Khushi's hand, but not before brushing his fingers against hers. He gazed into her eyes to see her reaction and knew that she had felt the same thing what he had felt. Looking ahead of him, he could see Akash fuming at him in displeasure.

"See this lady." Khushi said, pointing at the woman clad in red lehenga, while once again Arnav slowly inched his fingers towards hers. Alas, he had no idea about what was going to crash into him the very next second.

Arnav squinted his eyes to get a clearer view, taking a whole minute to grasp what he was seeing and then, the realisation hit him really hard, like the lightening striking its target mercilessly, and he felt the entire blood drain from his face.

Khushi noticed the changes that accompanied him instantly, the way his breathing got laborious, his fingers trembling slightly and she felt an instinctive protectiveness towards him and her hand reflexively went to cup his face but she stopped herself.

"That's my... mother." Arnav stammered, turning towards Khushi. "How... where... what...?" he continued, not able to comprehend anything.

"And these are Akash's parents, grandparents." Khushi went on to explain, hoping that she was making sense to him. She saw how he was looking at Akash with an utterly confused face. "Arnav..." she called out his name, inhaling a deep breath before she continued. "Your mother is Akash's Bua. She was a Raizada. You and Akash are cousins."

"What are you saying?" he shouted standing up, throwing away the photo on the table. "This is not possible. No, there's some mistake. I don't know these people."

"We found more pictures." Khushi said handing him more photos of his mother. He stared in utter confusion and helplessness at those pictures as tears welled up in his eyes. Memories, hundreds, thousands, millions, of his mother with him, flashed through his mind, his past that he had tried burying away all these years, suddenly resurfaced in front of his eyes, bringing along with it, the pain, tragedy and loss, suffering and helplessness that he had been through.

His eyes now focussed on Akash that was keenly observing him.

How could he believe that the boy who he had once saved from the goons, the same person who saved his life thrice, the man who he had fought against two weeks ago, the man who was now standing in front of him, was related to him by blood, a part of his family he never had?

All these years, he had always thought that he was lonely, without a family. But now, when all of a sudden, a family which he never had popped into the picture, he didn't know how to react, how to connect to those roots where he originated from.

"No. It cannot be! We have known each other for quite a few years now and Akash never mentioned about her." he screamed, finding it very hard to convince himself. "Where did you find these pictures?" he rushed towards Akash and grabbing his collar furiously, he gritted through his teeth.

"I never told you because I never knew about this. I never knew that my Bua had done something like this to disgrace our family. And I'm pretty sure no one knows about you in my family." Akash replied calmly, pushing away Arnav's hands from his body. "I cannot believe a criminal like you is associated with the Raizadas."

Akash's words simply rung in his ears, haunting his already baffled mind and without saying a word, Arnav simply dragged himself out of the house, completely unaware of where he was heading to.

"Arnav!" Khushi panicked and called out his name. However, it was futile as he didn't seem to hear her at all.

Silence hovered around the room after Arnav walked out.

"You need to go home. You have hospital shift tomorrow early morning right?" Khushi said, turning to Akash.

"But Khushi, what about you?" he asked, feeling a bit apprehensive of leaving behind Khushi with this man in her vicinity.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine." She reassured him.

"So it's confirmed. But I don't know how I will break this news to my family. Would they believe it? And Khushi, I can never forget what a man he is and what he had done to you. Just because we are related by blood, doesn't diminish the crimes he has done." Akash said grimly.

Khushi nodded, knowing that somewhere there was truth to his words.

"Good night Khushi. Take care of yourself and call me when you need me." He announced and followed out of the door. While she went to close the door, she realised that Arnav's bag was still lying beside the door. Peeking outside, she realised that there was no sign of him. Where had he gone?

She realised that inspite of all he had done, she still felt worried for him and honestly, at that moment, she hated herself for feeling so weak.

o0o

Nearly two hours had passed and he had not yet returned back to collect his bag. Khushi stared at the clock on the wall, feeling sleep slowly overtake her eyes. She now felt stupid waiting for him. But at the same time, how was she supposed to console the anxiousness that was growing inside her every minute due to his absence?

Just when she was about to give up, she heard a soft knock on the door. Khushi immediately sprang up on her feet and rushed to the door and opened it to reveal Arnav staring at her.

"I came to pick up my bag." Arnav stammered, looking down at her feet, unable to meet her eyes. "I shouldn't have disturbed you, but I saw the light on and..." he gulped, talking in a feeble voice. Khushi moved aside to let him in.

Arnav silently picked his bag and was about to turn around when he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know why I am even saying this." she said, looking into those molten brown eyes which were clearly streaked with tears. "You can stay here tonight." And she proceeded to close the door behind him.

He looked back at her, and she knew instantly that all he needed was a hug, a comforting embrace to make him feel that he was not alone and that everything would be alright. She knew at that very second that he was looking up to her. She noticed how his hands slowly moved up to hold her, but she stepped away from him, placing a stone on her heart.

"You can sleep in the couch." She said bluntly and turned away, walking towards the room. "It's already late. I'm feeling sleepy." And without waiting for his reply, she went away, leaving him behind shattered and in complete disbelief with the coldness towards him.

o0o

Khushi woke up with a sudden startle and realised that she was lying on her bed. For a minute, she relaxed until she suddenly remembered the events of the night and Arnav, who was most probably lying in the living room, if he still hadn't changed his decision of the night.

She retrieved her mobile from the bedside and realised that it was only 6 am and that she had woken up too early. But she was not sleepy anymore and hence decided to wake up for the day. Getting up from the bed, she walked to the living room and found Arnav lying down on the couch, in deep sleep.

Beside him, she noticed the photographs of his mother that were now scattered on the floor.

As she neared him, she noticed the tears dried up on his cheeks and felt her heart shattering once again. He looked so angelic and innocent whenever he was asleep. Yet, he was the same man who was a criminal who killed people for his living. How could she ignore this side of him?

She sat down on the floor beside him, gazing at his face, but making sure she didn't touch him and wake him up.

She realised she needed to ponder over their relationship and make a decision.

Only one thing was very sure in her mind. She still loved him and that too, a lot. Her love for him had never stopped inspite of staying away from him all these days. Infact, the longing for him had only increased after this duration.

She knew that he too loved her. It was very evident in his eyes. He was just waiting for her to forgive him and accept him back in her life and this was quite clear yesterday night.

But there was the matter of trust. How could she trust him after having him break her trust in such a devastating way?

How could she forgive him for all that he had done to her best friend?

And above all, how could she embrace the criminal in him?

One part of her mind screamed out at her that he was only doing it for a living. He wasn't a psychotic killer out to hunt down people. But the other part of her mind knew that it didn't make the crime any less, just because his motives were different.

She wondered where had she landed herself into. Honestly, she had no one in her life and she had already envisioned spending the rest of her life with him. She remembered all those times, especially after Buaji's death, how he had been beside her. He could have just walked out on her leaving her alone and miserable.

But he hadn't and now, wasn't he going through the same thing? Except that she had walked out of his life. So how could she ignore that good caring side of him?

Reflexively, her hands reached out to his hair, to smoothen it out. But her uncontrollable fingers ended up caressing his face and soon, she found herself bending forward to place a light kiss on his forehead.

She picked up the photograph of his mother and stared at his mother's eyes, the same eyes he had inherited. Just by the look of her, she knew that his mother must have been a loving and a caring person and she realised that her son was no less than her. Arnav had suffered a lot, the pain in his eyes, those scars on his back were a silent witness to it and yet, this humane side was still alive in him.

He was only a human, who had been erred by fate and reduced to this state and who only longed for happiness in his life.

So would it be morally wrong for her to accept this side of him and fulfil his dreams?

But, what about her dreams?

And it was then she realised that Arnav was her dream. She had dreamt to spend her life with him, sharing all joys and sorrows, being there for each other. And in return, he had begun fulfilling her dreams one by one, hadn't he? Even without asking for it.

In her conflict of emotions, she soon found herself tracing her lips alongside his mouth, in a slow longing kiss. She needed him back in her life, beside her, holding her hand, every day, every minute.

And just when she made the contact, she saw his eyes snap wide open and stare into hers.

For a minute, he was confused where he was and even more to find Khushi in such a close proximity with him. He immediately jumped up and sat straight on the sofa, while at the same time, Khushi stood up absolutely startled and embarrassed at having been caught in this position.

Immediately, she turned around and tried to scurry away from that place, not wanting to face him.

"Khushi!" he called out, standing up and went after her.

She rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind her before he could catch hold of her. "Open the door!" she heard him knocking the door impatiently, but she didn't relent his order.

Ignoring all his pleas, she went to the sink and supporting her torso with her hands on the slab, she stared at her reflection in the mirror as tears slowly began to stream down her eyes.

How could she do like this? How could she embrace the criminal in him and forgive him for everything he had done in an instant? How could she become so weak?

After few minutes of no response, Arnav realised that it was only going to be futile pursuing her like this, especially if she had made up her mind to not forgive him. And he felt his heart sink even more as the harsh reality slapped his face. Dejected and heartbroken, he retreated back to the sofa as his eyes began to moisten.

But then, he couldn't put away the one thought that was nagging him. What exactly was she doing when he woke up?

o0o

"Breakfast!" she said quietly as she placed a plate on the dining table. She saw him staring quietly at the photos of his mother once again. "And Akash told us to come to his house after an hour." She added.

"I don't want it." He mumbled, avoiding her gaze and somewhere, Khushi felt her heart constrict painfully at the tone of voice and his expressions.

Why? Why were trivial things like these making such a big difference to her?

Soon, she found herself involuntarily walking towards him with the breakfast plate in her hand and taking a seat beside him. "She lived in a big house. It is beautiful." She continued, thinking about his mother and the Raizada Mansion she had been to, just yesterday. "And her family seems nice. Her mother, your Nani, seems like a kind hearted woman."

She noticed that he was still avoiding looking at her, but somewhere she knew that he was keenly listening to her every word.

"Maybe through this, you will finally get to know who your father is." She said and instantly, found him looking at her, not before returning back his gaze to the floor.

"I don't know what to do. This is all new to me." He finally spoke, admitting his true feelings for the first time. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked, looking at her face for any sign of consolation for the helplessness he was feeling right now.

"I don't know either." She admitted honestly.

Keeping aside everything else, all she wanted to do was console him, hug him, tell him that it was going to be alright and she was going to be beside him through all this. But the memories about how he had broken her trust prevented her from doing so.

"All throughout your life, you had always complained that you never had a family, that you were all alone. Now it seems like your family was right next door all these years." She added.

"But what am I supposed to do with a family that was never there for me when I needed them? And what would their reaction be to an illegitimate child of their daughter? Do you think they would accept me?" he asked, feeling a bit apprehensive about opening those chapters of his past that never existed till a day before.

"You would only know once you meet them." Khushi replied as she slowly pushed the breakfast plate to his lap and saw him reflexively grab the paratha and stuff it inside his mouth, lost in his own thoughts and a soft faint smile made its way to her face.

o0o

Arnav drove his bike to the address that Khushi had given him. She had also decided to accompany him and hence, was now sitting behind him on his bike.

He couldn't help feel nostalgic thinking about the previous memories of their bike rides. But today was a stark contrast to those days. He could barely feel her touching his body and he was pretty sure, she had deliberately distanced herself from him and sat down only after making sure of the few inches distance between them. As the cool wind of winter whipped his face, he felt a strange sense of incompleteness and void in him.

He longed for her to hold him fiercely like she used to, as if he belonged exclusively to her. He longed for her possessiveness and protectiveness.

He longed for those wonderful days with her.

"That house." he heard Khushi's voice interrupt his thoughts and he stopped the bike in front of the house pointed by Khushi. The nameplate read 'Raizadas' and he felt a strange feeling envelop him as he pushed aside the gates and entered the compound.

All throughout his association with Akash, he had never really bothered finding out about his house nor had he been invited. Thus, this was actually his first visit to his house.

The house that stood in front of him was the same house where his mother had spent most of her life. It was strange as well as comforting to connect back with his mother's past, to find out where he originated from. But he didn't fail to miss the irony of his life. It looked like his mother hailed from a pretty rich family quite contrasting to the poverty he had grown up with. Could his life get more ironic than this?

Walking towards the huge doors, he stood outside it, pressing the door bell, waiting for the doors of his past to be opened.

Khushi stood beside him, but his nervousness and anxiety didn't miss her eyes. Unable to hold it any longer, she quickly gave his hand a tight reassuring squeeze and retrieved it back, before he could realise and to her luck, the door opened just in time, not allowing him to react to this gesture from her.

Some random manservant came and opened the door and let them in. Arnav's eyes scanned the entire house, taking in every single detail about it and finally went and stopped on the elder lady who was sitting in the centre of the living room, keenly observing both of them. She immediately stood up as the realisation of who he was struck her and she instantly rushed towards him.

Arnav stared into those warm eyes of the old lady that somehow reminded him of his own mother. He could see her slowly grasping her mouth as the shock seeped into her and soon, tears welled in her eyes as she took a step closer to him to get a clear view of his face.

"Are you really my Aarti's son?" she asked, as she stroked the side of his face lovingly. He nodded silently.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"I'm Arnav." He replied.

"Arnav beta, come, take a seat. And Khushi, you too come. I was actually told by Akash that only he would be coming." Nani said, leading them to the sofa.

He noticed that the elder lady was continuously observing him.

"You have her eyes." Nani said, sitting beside him. "Oh God!" she exclaimed, as she hugged him fiercely and started crying as memories of her dead daughter resurfaced once again after all these years. "She never told me she had you. I should have understood that something was wrong when she ran away from the house. It was all my fault. That poor girl was too scared to tell me about this." She cried as guilt and regret of those yester years filled her up.

"Your mother was the best daughter I could ever have. And I'm sure you are just like her." she said smiling, wiping away her tears, overwhelmed at seeing her grandson in front of her.

Arnav silently listened, not knowing how else to react to her.

"Your Grandfather used to always tell me that your mother was dead when she had left the house. But I had never stopped waiting for her, hoping that one day she would turn up to her mother. She did turn up, but dead." Nani said, as fresh tears rolled down her eyes. "The police identified her in the records and alerted us about it. But there were no signs about you. We never knew about you. Otherwise, I would have definitely brought you along to live with us. Were you living with your father? Where were you all these years?" she demanded.

Arnav stared at her helplessly, not knowing how to explain his situation to her. He looked at Khushi for help but realised that she was in no state to help him out of this. "I think Akash would be able to explain it better." He said blocking out all the emotions in him as his reality struck him. He was pretty sure that Nani wouldn't be behaving this politely with him if she were to know his truth, that he had turned out to be a criminal, inspite of being related to such a reputed family of Delhi.

"I want to visit my mother's room." he announced standing up, remembering Khushi mention about it.

"Ofcourse you can." Nani said eagerly and stood up to lead the way.

The trio went upstairs and finally reached the room at the end of the corridor. "We always kept this room unoccupied in her memory. Some of her things are still there." Nani said, as Arnav stepped into the neatly arranged room. There was a strange calmness spread across the entire room.

"These are all her books. She was a very studious and bright student, excelling in every field she chose. We had envisioned so many plans for her, but looks like her destiny had some other plans. As far as I know, Aarti used to never even speak to boys, let alone be with them. I don't know how this all happened. She never mentioned anything about this. Akash told me you were living in Mumbai all those years. So what made you come back to Delhi after all those years? And police reports said that she was murdered. But they have never been able to trace those murderers. Do you know about it? Where was your father?" Nani bombarded him with questions after questions that had been bundled up all these years without any answers to them.

"I don't want to talk about this. I don't know who my father is. I don't know anything!" Arnav burst out, tears streaming down his eyes.

Khushi ran towards him, holding his shoulder, at the same time trying to apologize to Nani for his behaviour towards her.

"It's ok. I'll go away from here." Nani replied and turned around and walked out of the room.

"Arnav, you shouldn't have spoken to her like that. She's elder to you and she's your Nani." Khushi said after the elder woman left the room. "She misses her daughter as much as you miss your mother."

"Maybe if she had been a good parent, my mother wouldn't have had to take such drastic steps in life and suffer and I wouldn't have been here suffering this hell. I would have been a normal person, leading a normal life. I wouldn't have needed to resort to crimes to earn a living. I wouldn't have hurt you. You wouldn't have gone away from my life. I wouldn't have had to feel so much pain and agony in my life." He shouted back at Khushi too, startling her with the tone of his voice.

Arnav looked at his mother's room carefully, reminiscing about her. On a nearby table, there were a few photographs of his mother in her own childhood. Picking up one of the photograph, which was probably taken in her college, he wept, as tears fell down on the frame, rolling over the glass that encased it.

"Mumma..." he felt his throat choke and tightly shut his eyes to block out all the pain that was throbbing in his veins.

Putting it down, he turned away and strode out of the room, without any warning, while Khushi hastily rushed after him.

"Arnav!" she called out after him, quickening her pace to catch up. But he was in no mood to listen.

As Arnav walked to the main door, he saw two ladies, one older and a younger one, staring at him as he walked past them out of the house.

"Was that him Sasuma?" Manorma asked the old lady who had resumed her position in the centre of the living room. And before she could get a reply, she saw Khushi rushing after him.

"Arnav wait!" Khushi yelled, but he ignored her and walked out of the Raizada gates and starting his bike, he simply sped off not bothering about Khushi or anyone else.

At this point of time, he did not care about anyone. He wanted to be alone, all by himself, just like how he had been for the past decade.

Khushi stared at his disappearing form at the curve of the road, wondering what had happened. She looked back at the Raizada house once and back again at the direction he had sped off into, not knowing what to do.

Honestly, she had no idea what would come next.

CHAPTER 50

Note to all the readers :

Since there was so much talk going on in the forum about the readers and writers issues, which I'm sure you are aware about, I would like to clarify something to all the readers of this FF.

First of all, I love you all and really appreciate that you take out your time and read this FF and give me your feedback.

And I would like to reiterate once again that I'm not compelling anyone to comment. It is all upto you. I would even update this FF even if no one comments. But inspite of this, I'm indeed grateful to everyone who comments, especially those few ones who post such a long comment and make my day.

And you must have seen that I don't reply to your comments. I only answer certain queries. But that doesn't mean I don't read your comments. If I 'like' your comments, then you can be assured that I read every single word of it. It's just that I am person of few words and I rarely talk to people unless I go high and act weird and only then you will find me blabbering stuff,😆

And no, I don't favour any reader over the other. I love you all equally.

If you have to criticize something about my FF, point out any flaws, please feel free to do so. I know this FF is quite flawed. I realised it as I proceeded with the story. But who cares, as if I'm going to publish this.😆

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That's it! Thank you for reading it till here.

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