Shyam decided to get away from Delhi to bide his time and plan his next move.
A week went by and Khushi came home. She was confined to her room. Everyone had learned about her PTSD and took utmost care of Khushi. Everytime Anjali saw Khushi, she felt a pang go through her when she thought of what Khushi had undergone just to keep her Di happy. Arnav realized that the office held no meaning for him - He had tremendous drive and his focus had increased as he tried his best to concentrate on his work to keep his guilt-laden thoughts at bay ...But he did not want to leave Khushi by herself at home and had a lot of his work delivered home.
It was evening and the setting sun had turned the pool area into a pattern of shadows and bright golden light. Khushi sat on the chaise lounge by the pool side watching the butterflies hugging and kissing the sweet-smelling yellow roses and the jasmine flowers. She was wearing a flowing, yellow chudidhar with chikankari work that jiji had newly stitched for her after she realized that Khushi was pregnant and would need new clothes soon. She had her hands lightly clasped around her still flat middle ...What was she thinking, Arnav wondered as he stared at her unobtrusively from inside their room. He decided to take the bull by the horns and talk to her and apologize. Gone were the days when he could not even think of apologizing ...Now he was wondering how inadequate a word "sorry" was. "Khushi...", he began. She turned around and looked at him. "Khushi ...Us din jo kuch bhi hua, uss ke liye ...main..main bahut sharminda hoon. Sorry shabd bahut hi kam hai ..Tum nahi jaanti main kitna pachthaaya hoon , mere muh se tumhe vaise kos kar. Tumne mujhe apne zindagi ki sabse badi khush khabar sunaya, aur maine aise react kiya...Mera yeh gussa aur neech soch se tumhe kitna chot pahuncha hoga, yeh soch kar mujhe din raat apne aap par sharam aati hai - dikkhaar hai mujh pe. Main apne hi nazaron mein gir gaya hoon. I love you Khushi ..I love you with my whole heart, unconditionally. It kills me to see you like this ...Please Khushi, bas ek baar keh dho ki tumne mujhe maaf kar diya..." (Khushi, whatever happened that day i am very sorry. Sorry is a very inadequate word. You dont know how much I regretted the taunting words that escaped my mouth. You gave me the happiest news of my life and I reacted this way...You must have been hurt so much by my anger and low thoughts - Thinking about that, I have been ashamed of myself day and night. I have fallen in my own eyes. I love you Khushi, love you wholeheartedly and unconditionally. It kills me to see you like this. Please, just tell me one time that you forgive me), he said kneeling by the side of the lounge, gazing up at her, holding her hands tightly.
Khushi slowly withdrew her hands from between his. She touched his shoulders and haltingly said, "maine aap ke shabd aur aapko maaf kar diya..par mujhe pata nahi ki main aapko kabhi yeh keh paaoongi ki mujhe bhi aapse pyaar hai aur bharosa hai. pata nahi kyon ...mujhe lag raha hai ki jahaan mera dil tha wahaan ek khaali sthaan hai. mujhe maaf kijiye ...par main iss liye aapke saath hoon ki main abhi iss sthithi main kahin nahi jaa sakthi...agar gayi tho aap se zyaada hamaare parivaar ko bahut dukh aur chot pahunchega. Aur hamaari bacchon ko bhi pitha ki zaroorat hai ...Chahe aap hamein apni patni ka sthaan de ya nahi, hamaari bachon ke pita aap hi hai." (I have forgiven your words and you. But I dont know if I will ever be able to reciprocate and tell you that I love you and trust you. I dont know why ...I feel like that where my heart was, now there is an empty hole. Forgive me, but I am here with you for the sole reason that I cannot go anywhere else in this state. Even if I went, then more than you, our families will be sad and hurt. Our kids also need a father...Even if you dont give me the position of your wife, you are the father of our children.) She then slid from the lounge and slowly walked back into the room to lie down on her side and rest.
Arnav was devastated...Is this her depression talking? Will she ever accept my love and learn to trust me, he wondered. He decided not to lose hope, if he had won her one time, he could do it again. When there was life, there was hope.
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At this time, AR Industries had taken on 2 projects that could have been accomplished, had it not been for ASR's changed work schedule in the past 2 weeks. As a result, Akash found himself stretched very thin. Khushi realized how this additional work falling on Akash's plate was straining Payal and Akash's marriage...Akash routinely came very late and jiji waited up for him. Khushi suggested to Arnav, "Aap office kyon nahi jaate...Main theek hoon aur di ke liye hum sab hai.".
"Khushi, main sab jaanta hoon. Mujhe abhi tumhe or Di ko chodkar office jaane ka mood nahi hai. Akash dekh lega aur maama ji bhi hai madadh karne ki liye.", Arnav ground out. Here he was not wanting to let her out of his sight, making sure that she didnt even lift a finger and here she was trying to pack him off to office. "Itne mahine lage yeh projects milne mein aur ab aap apna kaam tyaag kar rahe hai aise ghar baith kar.", she said mildly without her usual asperity. "Aap Lavanya ji ko kyon nahi laate... Woh inn projects par kaam kar rahi thi na jab isska proposal submit kiya tha?", she asked. Arnav started...What was going through her head now, he wondered. But getting Lavanya back was a good suggestion. He need not have to work late nights trying to catch up and La would be able to support him by working in the office with her prior knowledge. "Haan par maine help ke liye NK ko bula liya hai. Woh kuch hi din mein aane waala hai. Par shaayad tum theek keh rahi ho...Mein call kar ke dekhtha hoon ke Lavanya free hai ya nahi.", he thought out loud. Maybe it wasnt such a bad idea...NK had the smarts to figure stuff out and Lavanya had the history and experience with the company. Maybe they could help each other and help the Raizadas out in this time of need, he thought.
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Udne Ki Aasha
Cricket
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