Posted:
Why I think it is not time yet for Aarti to consider walking out of this marriage! (in response to someone who thought she should)
I would totally agree with you about the failure of this marriage if it had even been a month since they got married. But it hasn't. It has not even been a week. When Aarti told Ansh that they couldn't go back to the Dubeys, indirectly by saying he would eventually adjust with the Scindias, she was saying so because she is an adult and understands the difficulties of the situation, not because of her own issues with the Scindias.
See many people asked when she got married, if she is doing this for Ansh, will she also call it off when Ansh wants to go home? And here we get our answer. Aarti is teaching Ansh that things are not always easy, there are tough times, but they will get through them together. This is real parenting, even when you can't shield your children from the evils of the world, you let them know they always have a safety net to fall back on.
This is a transition period and as difficult as it is to see Ansh so withdrawn, it is not the end of the world or of the potential of this relationship. Children's emotions are to be respected, no doubt but sometimes they don't know the best solution for their own problems, that is what parents are for. Aarti, by committing Ansh to this relationship is doing something for his own good that he can't see yet. A parent cannot always listen to their child because sometimes they know better and I am sure Aarti would not be committed to this if she did not see potential for this to be a wonderful environment for Ansh to grow up in. Unlike Prashant, Ansh will now know that relationships may not always be smooth sailing but hard work and mutual effort can make them fruitful in the end. The characters in this story are still learning how to accommodate one another and that is why I so appreciated Yash's request to his mother, the only thing they all need...TIME.
I am sure one day he Ansh is going to tease PayPal about horrible they were to him when he first came to the house and they will all have a good laugh. It reminds me of my best friend, who I met when I joined a new high school in 10th grade. She was awful to me the first year I went there and I had no idea why. She later told me it was because I was friends with one of her other close friends and she thought I was trying to take the place of a member of their gang who had left the previous year. Did I even know of this girl? No. 😆 But all that complicated negative sentiment didn't stop us from being inseparable eventually, and I am sure the same will happen here. Time is key.
I would totally agree with you about the failure of this marriage if it had even been a month since they got married. But it hasn't. It has not even been a week. When Aarti told Ansh that they couldn't go back to the Dubeys, indirectly by saying he would eventually adjust with the Scindias, she was saying so because she is an adult and understands the difficulties of the situation, not because of her own issues with the Scindias.
See many people asked when she got married, if she is doing this for Ansh, will she also call it off when Ansh wants to go home? And here we get our answer. Aarti is teaching Ansh that things are not always easy, there are tough times, but they will get through them together. This is real parenting, even when you can't shield your children from the evils of the world, you let them know they always have a safety net to fall back on.
This is a transition period and as difficult as it is to see Ansh so withdrawn, it is not the end of the world or of the potential of this relationship. Children's emotions are to be respected, no doubt but sometimes they don't know the best solution for their own problems, that is what parents are for. Aarti, by committing Ansh to this relationship is doing something for his own good that he can't see yet. A parent cannot always listen to their child because sometimes they know better and I am sure Aarti would not be committed to this if she did not see potential for this to be a wonderful environment for Ansh to grow up in. Unlike Prashant, Ansh will now know that relationships may not always be smooth sailing but hard work and mutual effort can make them fruitful in the end. The characters in this story are still learning how to accommodate one another and that is why I so appreciated Yash's request to his mother, the only thing they all need...TIME.
I am sure one day he Ansh is going to tease PayPal about horrible they were to him when he first came to the house and they will all have a good laugh. It reminds me of my best friend, who I met when I joined a new high school in 10th grade. She was awful to me the first year I went there and I had no idea why. She later told me it was because I was friends with one of her other close friends and she thought I was trying to take the place of a member of their gang who had left the previous year. Did I even know of this girl? No. 😆 But all that complicated negative sentiment didn't stop us from being inseparable eventually, and I am sure the same will happen here. Time is key.
__________________
Ok forgive me because today I am not going to analyse the episode in its entirety on account of how I want to pick apart that last argument between Aarti and Yash and everything else seems sort of irrelevant in context. So my analysis picks up from the moment when Ansh enters with Yash and announces to his mother that his naye papa has put him in a new school.
The first thing I noticed was that Ansh was talking; and he sounded, not excited, but not exactly the same depressed self he had been either. He was pretty matter-of-factly stating to Aarti that his school had changed. The second thing I noticed was Yash's little smirk. He clearly thought that Aarti would be expressing her deepest gratitude for his concern and his decision to put Ansh in a more expensive and upper-crust school. But how wrong he was, and that gundi bhabhi that Pratik so missed seeing (how cute was that scene?) was out and about once more. She expressed the primary problem of the situation: Yash did not talk to her before making such a huge decision on behalf of her son, yes, her son because I do still think she feels that way. I am not saying that that has any bearing on whether what Yash did was right or wrong, because for me not talking to Aarti before making this decision was absolutely wrong though the school changing decision is debatable.
Don't you love how stylishly Papa Scindia enters the scene with a completely regressive MCP dialogue to boot? But in a way he provides justification for Yash's actions, a reason why. In the Scindia family the men make the decisions and the women trust them to make the right ones. This is what Yash is expecting from Aarti, trust, so he is expecting her to fall into this mould as well. But what sets Yash apart is the fact that he is willing to listen to Aarti and hear her out. He is willing also to explain his decision to her, which according to Papa Scindia is not necessary, but it is an open window that shows that Yash is in a position, unlike his father, to learn to treat Aarti as an equal. At this moment he has no idea even, that he is not doing so.
So I want to sort of lay out the argument more clearly here:
Yash
We know that:
He likes instant solutions, no dragging of issues and no discussion. This was apparent right from his first serendipitous phone call with his future wife. He doesn't like hassles. When he sees a correct path, he takes it with complete conviction.
He was upset when he learned that Ansh's school did not have computer classes, and is also visibly upset by the alienation he sees between his daughters and Ansh
He thinks that most problems can be solved with a tangible change, like we saw with Payal and Palak, he thought that their social difficulties could be solved with extra classes where they would physically be with more kids. Similarly, here he thinks that just the physical proximity of the three children will bring them closer.
He has been brought up in a house where the men make all the decisions and the women just trust and he is visibly bothered that Aarti doesn't do that.
He is competitive and a perfectionist, which he seems to see as important goals for his children to have
He is also a pragmatist. Put children in the best school to give them the best chance at success...clearly a path of statistical and calculative knowledge
He now considers Ansh his son
He has noticed how much Aarti does for his daughters and uses this as a sort of defense, saying how could he do wrong by Ansh when she is so giving?
Aarti:
We know that:
She has pride. I think along with being upset that Yash didn't share this decision with her, her pride was wounded. Somehow him putting Ansh in a better school implied to her that what she had done was not good enough, which is I think why she got so defensive instead of dealing with the real core issue, the autonomous decision of Yash. This was further stressed by her statement that not everyone is so lucky...but why is she refusing to acknowledge that Ansh is so lucky to be able to go to any school now?
She is a romantic and an idealist. She believes that children can study anywhere if they really want to. They can study under a lamp post if they are motivated enough. This reminded me of the tone of her speech about puddles and playing in the rain. However poetic such a speech is, it is not going to sway the hyper rational Yash just as his calculative speeches are not going to touch her until they are exchanged in a heated way like this.
Yes she did play Ansh's father and mother at the Dubeys but why are gender roles being stereotyped in the first place? Why should Aarti not have a say now that she has a husband? I loved that she just spoke out right then and there and for once this trait did not bother me. The Scindias need a reality check and she is going to be the one to give it to them. There is no reason she and Yash cannot share the pants, in fact they absolutely should!
She feels misunderstood in this house regarding her views on parenting. It must have been a double blow to her to have her parenthood so constantly questioned by Gayatri and then today for the power over Ansh's life to be so decidedly taken away from her. She is not being allowed to bring Payal and Palak up the way she wants, though she knows how to improve their lives and now the rights over Ansh are also being taken away. I can sympathise with her injustice.
The only thing I wish Aarti had said is that changing Ansh's school was a matter they could discuss later. The first matter at hand was why on earth he didn't tell her what he was doing when it was such a huge decision. I am not doubting his decision or his intentions but not telling her about them and discussing them with her was the main problem and it is yet to be dealt with. Aarti will be challenging for Yash but I think he is up to it because he is constantly looking to learn and is also not afraid to argue back when he feels it is needed, as in the precap. Why is he getting so annoyed that she doesn't trust him when he went and did something like that under her nose? I am with both of them and against both, Yash for not talking to Aarti and Aarti for missing the point of contention and arguing the change of school instead of the undermining of her authority.
Now for the actual decision, I think it could go either way. We have already discussed the disadvantages of Ansh being moved to a new school so here is the flip side from me. There is a sound argument for the fact that maybe it is best for Ansh to deal with all the change and upheaval at once and to sort of treat the school change as a part of the change in family structure. That way he becomes a Scindia all the way in one shot. Otherwise there would be this difficult time and as soon as he got comfortable, another huge change. So this could be good in that sense as well as an equaliser as Ansh will no longer have to go by school bus and can go with his sisters. But I worry about him catching up with studies etc. And I really wonder what the formidable Ms. Lobo would have to say with regards to Ansh!
The first thing I noticed was that Ansh was talking; and he sounded, not excited, but not exactly the same depressed self he had been either. He was pretty matter-of-factly stating to Aarti that his school had changed. The second thing I noticed was Yash's little smirk. He clearly thought that Aarti would be expressing her deepest gratitude for his concern and his decision to put Ansh in a more expensive and upper-crust school. But how wrong he was, and that gundi bhabhi that Pratik so missed seeing (how cute was that scene?) was out and about once more. She expressed the primary problem of the situation: Yash did not talk to her before making such a huge decision on behalf of her son, yes, her son because I do still think she feels that way. I am not saying that that has any bearing on whether what Yash did was right or wrong, because for me not talking to Aarti before making this decision was absolutely wrong though the school changing decision is debatable.
Don't you love how stylishly Papa Scindia enters the scene with a completely regressive MCP dialogue to boot? But in a way he provides justification for Yash's actions, a reason why. In the Scindia family the men make the decisions and the women trust them to make the right ones. This is what Yash is expecting from Aarti, trust, so he is expecting her to fall into this mould as well. But what sets Yash apart is the fact that he is willing to listen to Aarti and hear her out. He is willing also to explain his decision to her, which according to Papa Scindia is not necessary, but it is an open window that shows that Yash is in a position, unlike his father, to learn to treat Aarti as an equal. At this moment he has no idea even, that he is not doing so.
So I want to sort of lay out the argument more clearly here:
Yash
We know that:
He likes instant solutions, no dragging of issues and no discussion. This was apparent right from his first serendipitous phone call with his future wife. He doesn't like hassles. When he sees a correct path, he takes it with complete conviction.
He was upset when he learned that Ansh's school did not have computer classes, and is also visibly upset by the alienation he sees between his daughters and Ansh
He thinks that most problems can be solved with a tangible change, like we saw with Payal and Palak, he thought that their social difficulties could be solved with extra classes where they would physically be with more kids. Similarly, here he thinks that just the physical proximity of the three children will bring them closer.
He has been brought up in a house where the men make all the decisions and the women just trust and he is visibly bothered that Aarti doesn't do that.
He is competitive and a perfectionist, which he seems to see as important goals for his children to have
He is also a pragmatist. Put children in the best school to give them the best chance at success...clearly a path of statistical and calculative knowledge
He now considers Ansh his son
He has noticed how much Aarti does for his daughters and uses this as a sort of defense, saying how could he do wrong by Ansh when she is so giving?
Aarti:
We know that:
She has pride. I think along with being upset that Yash didn't share this decision with her, her pride was wounded. Somehow him putting Ansh in a better school implied to her that what she had done was not good enough, which is I think why she got so defensive instead of dealing with the real core issue, the autonomous decision of Yash. This was further stressed by her statement that not everyone is so lucky...but why is she refusing to acknowledge that Ansh is so lucky to be able to go to any school now?
She is a romantic and an idealist. She believes that children can study anywhere if they really want to. They can study under a lamp post if they are motivated enough. This reminded me of the tone of her speech about puddles and playing in the rain. However poetic such a speech is, it is not going to sway the hyper rational Yash just as his calculative speeches are not going to touch her until they are exchanged in a heated way like this.
Yes she did play Ansh's father and mother at the Dubeys but why are gender roles being stereotyped in the first place? Why should Aarti not have a say now that she has a husband? I loved that she just spoke out right then and there and for once this trait did not bother me. The Scindias need a reality check and she is going to be the one to give it to them. There is no reason she and Yash cannot share the pants, in fact they absolutely should!
She feels misunderstood in this house regarding her views on parenting. It must have been a double blow to her to have her parenthood so constantly questioned by Gayatri and then today for the power over Ansh's life to be so decidedly taken away from her. She is not being allowed to bring Payal and Palak up the way she wants, though she knows how to improve their lives and now the rights over Ansh are also being taken away. I can sympathise with her injustice.
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The only thing I wish Aarti had said is that changing Ansh's school was a matter they could discuss later. The first matter at hand was why on earth he didn't tell her what he was doing when it was such a huge decision. I am not doubting his decision or his intentions but not telling her about them and discussing them with her was the main problem and it is yet to be dealt with. Aarti will be challenging for Yash but I think he is up to it because he is constantly looking to learn and is also not afraid to argue back when he feels it is needed, as in the precap. Why is he getting so annoyed that she doesn't trust him when he went and did something like that under her nose? I am with both of them and against both, Yash for not talking to Aarti and Aarti for missing the point of contention and arguing the change of school instead of the undermining of her authority.
Now for the actual decision, I think it could go either way. We have already discussed the disadvantages of Ansh being moved to a new school so here is the flip side from me. There is a sound argument for the fact that maybe it is best for Ansh to deal with all the change and upheaval at once and to sort of treat the school change as a part of the change in family structure. That way he becomes a Scindia all the way in one shot. Otherwise there would be this difficult time and as soon as he got comfortable, another huge change. So this could be good in that sense as well as an equaliser as Ansh will no longer have to go by school bus and can go with his sisters. But I worry about him catching up with studies etc. And I really wonder what the formidable Ms. Lobo would have to say with regards to Ansh!
Bigg Boss 19
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
