SS:(MG)WHO ARE YOU? go to new thread - Page 31

Ch:5 (window in the past)

After Geet left Maan helped in completing the chores; Arjun hugged him before leaving, Anvesha was surprised by the sudden warmth between the two, she was relived to see their relationship reviving, she had given up hope to see the two together as partners in crime.

Window in the Past through Anvesha's room

I still remember how Arjun had to bribe Maan to meet me, how Maan use to bring me the letters from Arjun, how Maan use to lie to cover me when I sneaked out to meet Arjun, I have lost count of number of movies we have watched with teenager Maan sitting between us.

Arjun always liked Maan, it was he who motivated him to give engg enterance exam, else Maan had no specifiic goals in his life, after our mother died and Papa married Pammi mom.

Maan only dotted on me, he loved me endlessly and I reciprocated his feelings. Maan is 5 years younger to me and always looked at me for advice, after Arjun came in my life, Maan accepted him with ease, he met Arjun when he was just 13 years old, and slowly Arjun became the one he looked up at for help.

Maan had never been close to Papa, the two were poles apart, Papa was strict and Maan was easy going, Pammi mom came into our lives when he was merely 1.5 years of age, too tender a age for him to have any grudges.

Mom gave birth to Dev after 2 years, the same year Maan was admitted to a school and as mom was busy with the new born, she was not able to pay attention to Maan, and Daadi left no chance to taunt on her being a step mom. This with time made Maan drift from mom. Daadi was never happy with mom, though she tried her best, Daadi also polluted little Maan's mind against her.

I liked mom but also loved Daadi so I was always confused as to who was right, so I gave up and only concentrated on being a big sister to Maan, later after my marriage I understood that, it was Daadi's fault, she had wanted Papa to marry her friend's daughter but Papa married his old class mate who also was his late wife's friend, and as Daadi never accepected her as her bahu, she did not want us to accpect her as our mother, but all this spoilt Maan. When I completed studies at the age of 21, I eloped with Arjun and married him, I eloped as I did not trust my Papa and could not tell Daadi, Papa was broke and Daadi this time accused me for not caring about family reputation and also mom saying she failed as a mother, but mom supported me and this made Daadi angry and she poisoned papa's mind, Maan was not allowed to meet me; this led to his destruction, after I left KM what happened I do not know much as my father disowned me, Maan did not contact me.

Only mom came to meet me, I could not understand why she kept contact with me, Arjun by no means was a poor match, he was agrade 1 officer in Indian Tourist services. As mom came to meet me during my first pregnancy at that time I realised how nice and loving she was, it was she who told me that Papa had disowned Maan, and at the age of 17 he left for where this mom did not know.

After 6 years he returned, but he was a different man; he had covered his long gypsy hair with a turban, his face was hidden behind a beard, he came in all confused and all annoyed mood, he talked to no one but Daadi, he did not even talk to me and Arjun. After Papa and mom died, he performed all the last rites mechanically, he announced that he will leave, I did not say anything and Dev and Vicky also remained quite, only Daadi was there commanding everyone, Maan followed her words like a puppet.

But something happened after I left, Maan called me and said sorry and told me that I should come often to KM, as it is my Mayaka and I have full right to visit them and if Daadi objected it is the old lady's problem.

Some thing must have happened, he did not go away, and he also let Dev, who was in final year civil engg to join KC, and helped him get married to NT late inspite of Daadi being against it, and Maan also send Vicky to study medicine against Daadi's wish.

What had happened, only he can tell. He cut his hair and shaved his beard he looked a complete different man, bearly recognizable.

No one who saw Maan now would believe that as a kid he had been too careless and easygoing. And looking at him, he seemed some other man, only his eyes made him the same Maan, now he was rude,and remimded me very much of my Papa, but he hated Daadi to cores.

Window closes

I just hope that now as he has warmed up with Arjun, he soon would come back to his own self.

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Maan sat in his room in deep thought after Anvesha and Arjun left. Nature has its own ways; he had not known Aryan was his son, still he felt a pull towards him. Same was with his father, though they were never at talking terms, thanks to Daadi he hated him, still people say my ways of working are exactly like him.

One habit that had also been similar was diary writing, as I note down important events of my life in a diary similarly my father also did so, and it was because of this similarity that I realized how wrong I was throughout my teenage days.

Window in past from Maan's room

I still remember that fateful day when I received an overseas call from Mohinder uncle informing me that my family has met with an accident. They were all in a van returning after my real mother's shraad; the van collided head on with a truck. I did not feel much and also thought that this could be some trick of my father to call me back as I have completed my studies, and Mohinder uncle being a simple man was easiest to fool. I called Adi, my friend the only person I was in contact with from my past, he was also my father's right hand man; he confirmed the news. I called him on his everywhere phone better known as mobiles now. He told that my sister and jiju were already on their way, I was surprised to learn that jiju has been posted in the same city, in which I now live, since last 11 months. I wondered why did Didi not contact me, I felt a jolt of pain in my heart, even my sister did not love me, she too changed after marriage and jiju used me to get near my Didi. I felt last of my ties with the family break.

But I was a Khurana and it was my duty to be there so I decided to go and also I had an interview in the same city, I did not tell Geet, but she came running; I lied to her that I will not return as I wanted to surprise her when I get the job and tell her that I am MSK, it had been hard all these years hiding myself from her; I could not deny her request to make love, and as she was on pills I was tension free, and anyways I was to marry her as soon as I got that job. In the morning hours when she gave me tea I decided I don't want to leave her even for a day. I was never attached to my family, so to be with them was not what I wanted. She gave me tea and asked me to get ready to leave, she has packed lunch. I said I don't feel like going, after much of questioning from her side I told about the accident, she was shocked, she immediately asked me to go; I told her I hate them all, my father, step mom my step brothers and even my real elder sister and my jiju, I don't want to go to them. She was very angry and on her continuous pursuance I left.

When I reached KM things were very terrible, my father and step mom were in coma, Dev had a broken leg and a broken arm plus injuries throughout, Vicky was unconscious due to sedatives, his both legs had multiple fractures and he was just out of OT, Daadi was fine as she did not go with them for the shraad. Anvesha Didi and jiju have come, I did not go to them, jiju was busy with the doctors' team, Didi was sitting near Dev, then she went to Vicky then Pammi mom and Papa, she was worried about them.

I sat near Daadi and she as usual cursed everyone. 3 days went by, I observed a girl often came to meet Dev, she was nice, well mannered and intelligent; Daadi did not like her and tagged her as a money hunter, but to me she seemed to be from a well off family, but why would Daadi lie.

After a day Papa passed away in coma, Daadi cried loud, everyone else was quiet, Daadi cursed Pammi mom saying look she is still alive whereas her husband died, she always said she will not be able to live without him, she used prophecies, and said that because of her Suraj went against his mother's words, now look at the shameless lady here he lies still and she is still alive.

I was shocked by the language Daadi used, what was mom's fault if her husband died, I could not understand, but others did not as much as uttered a word. I was yet not out of my initial shock when I saw Daadi going near mom who was in coma and pulled her Mangalsutra, as soon as Daadi's hands reached the beaded chain I heard a heart piercing NOOO! And mom died.

I was shocked, I performed all the rituals mechanically and once all was done I decided to leave. Didi and jiju left that day and I called Geet to tell I will be back in a day or two, she asked me how were things at the house, I did not tell her about my parent's demise just said I was coming; she seemed annoyed and said that she will only welcome me back once I seek forgiveness from my parents and other family members and cut the call, I did not know what to do, I called her back and told her that my parents were no more, she cried silently and said that now it is more important that I remain with my family, she also made me swear in the name of my love that I will only call her when he had made amends with all. I said I will try but she should not stop taking my calls and she said she will talk to me on the phone.

The first thing I did was to talk to Didi, and then I talked to Dev and Vicky. I found Dev wanted to join fine arts course or go for architecture but because Daadi wanted him to do civil engg he followed her without questioning, same was Vicky's case he wanted to do Medicine but Daadi wants him to pursue civil engg. Not much can be done for Dev but Vicky was still in 12th and he had bio + math's so I assured him to try for CPMT and I will talk to Daadi.

I also found that Dev had feelings for NT but he remained quiet as he knew Daadi was against love marriage, first she made his mom's life a hell then she almost disowned Didi, so he gave up the idea of expressing his feelings for NT, but NT still tried, I decided to help them.

As a month passed I were able to solve few problems and talking to Geet everyday gave me courage but suddenly after 2 months she stopped taking my calls, the warden informed me that she and Pinky have left the hostel. I called Mohinder uncle and he told me that the girls have shifted as a paying guest at an elderly couple's house and it did not have phone, but Geet regularly called them and she was fine and also that she has qualified Gate and will take admission in a PG course.

Though I missed talking to her but I kept myself informed about her well being through her parents. I at many time felt that she was missing me, more then I missed her, but I was bound by her promise, I could not go to meet her untill Dev settles down, Vicky gets admission in MBBS and Didi is over with her delivery, my poor sister has had stillborns till now. I had a long way to go before I could meet her.

One more thing I was still not able to know was what my father wanted from me. To find this I went to his study maybe I could get some clue. And there I got hold of his diaries; they contained not only his experiences but also Pammi mom's. I sat down and read it

Window in the past from Suraj and Pammi's room

(I will mark incidences number wise to avoid confusion, they will appear chronologically)

1. I am not able to understand why Maa always finds fault in Pammi, ok she wanted me to marry her friend's daughter, but when I met that girl she did not appeal me as mother. Whereas Pammi has all the qualities that will make her a perfect Mother and even Anvesha liked her and Maan was also comfortable with her. But who will make Maa understand this, I talked to Mohinder about this and he too seemed helpless, he had never liked my Maa, so he just said I have to tolerate till Pammi proves herself.

2. Today I scolded Anvesha for no fault of hers, actually I was angry with Maa, she again blamed Pammi was Maan's failure; she has poisoned Maan so much that he hardly listens to me and for him Pammi is just a servant. I could not say anything to either Maa or Maan so I scolded Anvesha. Pammi was so disturbed by this, she told me to say sorry to Anvesha, and I did so, my sweet child she is so innocent she instantly wiped her tears and hugged me, I saw Pammi smiling between tears seeing us from a distance; she adored Anvesha.

3. Maan is becoming reckless; he has stopped listening to me. I don't know when did he had a haircut and Maa is making things worse, to satisfy her own ego she is spoiling my piece of heart. She went to the school and said that as she is the trustee there, no one will say anything to him. Mohinder said I must send him to boarding but Pammi, she almost fainted crying on the prospect of sending Maan away from the house, she felt this will increase the hatred in his mind for me.

4. Anvesha has grown up, today I saw her in the cafeteria with Arjun, the Sabarwaal's son. I made enquiries about him; he was a good boy, preparing for tourism service exam. He is the best match for my daughter, I am proud of her choice.

5. (In Pammi's writing).

Today Anvesha married without telling anyone, Suraj is completely shattered, he had been preparing for this day since learned about Arjun, he had been waiting for her to complete her course, he even had selected the design of the wedding invitation card, all her jewellery has been made as per her taste all shopping , he had talked to the astrologer and fixed the date, he just had to tell her, it was a surprise he had planned, but all went to drain, I said he can always give a reception but, he said now that she has eloped he will not be able to do anything, I do not know what to do.

6. (Suraj)

Am I such a distasteful father that my daughter did not even tell me about her major decision in life. Maa as expected announced that she had disowned her. This was the very reason I wanted her marriage look like arranged one, now I am helpless, I did that mistake long back and still Maa had not accepted Pammi. She will not allow my baby to enter KM.

7. (Pammi)

Anvesha is now in 7th month of her pregnancy, I sneaked out secretly with Dev and Vicky with shagun for her, but when we returned Maa saw us and asked where were we, we lied but one of her friend's who is also Arjun's relative told her that she had seen us there; Maa shouted at us and cursed Anvesha.

8. (Pammi)

Today Anvesha gave birth to a still born, my heart screamed, had I not gone that day to her Godh Bharai, Maa would not have said all this for her; Oh God Suraj will break listening to this, I don't have courage to tell him.

9. (Suraj)

Today finally Pammi told me about Anvesha's baby, I was horrified, I know my Maa well if she holds grudges she does not even spare me. I need to separate Maan from her shadow; I talked to Mohinder, he suggested me to send Maan to his college, but how? If I tell him to go he will never, Rano Bhabhi suggested a way out and I will do as she said, I will not even tell Pammi about it.

10. (Pammi)

I don't know what Mohinder ji has told Suraj, he practically kicked Maan from KM, making sure he carried enough cash and driving license in his purse plus few clothes which he would not even think of wearing otherwise. I don't understand anything, good lord please keep Maan safe and sound, and before I close my eyes to join you, let me once see him as a man Suraj want to see him; mature, responsible, respecting others, sensible and what not, please help him.

11. (Suraj)

So many years have passed and I am writing here after so long; since last few days Pammi has been pursuing to let her once see Maan from a distance, yesterday I took her to his college, she cried seeing the son of the Khurana's driving the college bus, I consoled her and told her what Mohinder had told me, Maan is a gem, he balances well between his personalities as Maan the student and Munna the driver. I also showed her Geet, our future daughter in law, Pammi was elated and she went to her introducing herself as Rano's friend. I was happy only in a year I will come here and take Maan and Geet with me.

12. (Pammi)

Today we are going for Maan's mother's shraad, Maa does not want to accompany, well so be it; next year Maan and Geet will be with us, hopefully Anvesha will also be with us. Maan will be back soon, as his exams are over and so are Geet's. Suraj has promised that we will go to bring them tomorrow. I am so happy finally my family will be complete. Maan will make Maa understand that Anvesha being daughter to the house has full rights over her mayaka. Dev and Vicky too will get back their elder brother they always longed for. Maan I have high hopes from you, I have always seen you as the bonding force which can keep my family one. I may not have given you birth but you have always been my first born after Anvesha. I love you very much. Please make Suraj proud of you, he loves you to his cores, his only wish is to see you happy and successful.

I closed the diary, I had tears in his eyes; the last lines echoed in my mind as if they were especially written for me to read. They were Pammi mom's last hope before dying. I pledged that I will try to fulfill all what my parents expected from me; I never knew they loved me so much, my mouth became bitter thinking about Daadi, but I too was to be blamed for all this as I never tried to hear to my conscious which always told me not to believe Daadi, but now I will make no more mistakes and will try to undo all wrongs.

From that very day I changed my ways, my first step was to have a haircut and shave my beard, and my father had hated them. Once I came back home everyone looked at me in awe, Dev said I looked just like Papa, Daadi commented well make sure by looking like my disrespectful son you don't take his habits; I felt like kicking her ass, but Pammi mom's words came to my mind be respectful, so I remained quite.

From that day I did what I thought was right, I ignored Daadi but never disrespected her, I were in regular contact with Mohinder uncle; he told me Geet was to soon complete her PG and take up some job; these last 3 years have been very tensed ones, I waited for Uncle to return.

Uncle tackled Daadi very nicely and made her agree to my marriage with Geet, I was on 9^th cloud, but when I received her letter I felt bad, though it was very confusing, I smiled imagining her face when she learns Maan is her Munna.

On the engagement day, I was shocked to see her all numb and pale, when I slid the ring in her finger she was so cold, I tried to make her look at me, once she sees me I was sure she will recognize me, but she did not look at me for once.

On the wedding day also things were mechanical but learning Aryan was my son, I was shocked, I had planned to make love to her on the wedding night, once my breath touches her sensually she will know I am Munna, but now I have lost all hope, how will I tell her I am Munna and I was not there when she needed me the most, I failed once more.

Failing has become a part of my being; first I failed as a son, then as a elder brother to Dev and Vicky, then as a younger brother to Didi, I failed in every relation. I now failed as a lover as a father. Will I be ever able to tell her I am Munna? Will I be ever able to make her smile? I don't know what I will do now. I have full 7 days to think about how to make Geet happy.

Precap: Pinky and Maan on mission; Pinky: find the missing pieces and Maan: make Geet happy

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