Chasing Shadows - Chapter 6-Pg118, NOTE-Pg120 - Page 64

They say, never regret anything in your life.

Dude, what in the world were you thinking when you said that, Muskaan wondered. Because of course you're going to regret something in life! That's human! A fat girl regrets having the king-sized combo for lunch; a student regrets all the waste of time when he's drowning in books a night before the exams. The list went on, but the fact remained - people do regret some decisions they make in life.

And I regret falling for you Rahul, Muskaan sighed inwardly. She knew she had fallen. Oh, she had fallen hard and fast. But what hurt was, the person who had promised to catch her was nowhere in sight when she fell.

And now, 2 years later, as Muskaan sat, listening to the lecturer ramble on, all she could think of, was why Rahul was continuously staring at her since the day had begun. If he was so interested in her, why had he broken it off? And now, why hadn't he still come and said something? All Muskaan could reason was that he was a coward. That was the only logical explanation. But that still didn't help in taking her mind off him.

In the past 2 years, she had gone on dates, only to think about the ones she had had with Rahul. What had the dude done to her, she thought disdainfully.

On the other hand, Rahul was thinking along the same lines. What had he done to her? She was no longer the chirpy, loud and boisterous girl he'd known and fallen for. And he felt rotten for having brought about this change in her life.

But this was no time for a guilt trip. He had to make amendments. And soon. Starting now. Only, he had no idea how he was going to do it, because Muskaan refused to even look at his face, let alone acknowledge his presence. And he had no right to question her indifference, which annoyed him.

He stared at her constantly, and saw her muttering and smirking at something the girl next to her was saying. Wait, why was he referring to her as 'the girl'? He knew that girl. Riddhima. She had been a friend too, and although the break up had affected his rapport with her, Riddhima had been cordial with him. It wasn't a surprise really, Riddhima was known to be over-protective about her friends, so he was bound to earn himself a name in her blacklist.

But Riddhima could help him. If she forgave him, he was sure Muskaan would too. Riddhima was anyway a tougher nut to crack than Muskaan, he thought amused. And he was sure if Riddhima set her mind on it, she could help him get Muskaan back.

And if she didn't.. Well, he would just have to think of other ways then.

"Dude, you look like you're in pain. Or in love. I'm putting my bet on the latter." He snapped out and scowled at the person sitting next to him. The guy sitting next to him seemed friendly, so he couldn't hold the frown for too long.

"You guessed right bro." Rahul muttered in a monotone and averted his gaze back to Muskaan.

Armaan followed his gaze and his eyes widened. The dude was looking at Pimple-town, sorry Riddhima. He anyway could never call her that again without looking stupid, because she looked extremely stunning. The only question that echoed in his mind was - HOW? Was such a change even possible? But then again, many people looked horrendous when younger. He was just grateful he wasn't one of them. There was no modest way of saying it, but he tried his best not to sound conceited. A fact was a fact, he was good-looking.

But then again, if Riddhima had changed in appearance, Armaan had changed in thought. After the showdown the previous day, he had gone down memory lane and it struck him just how badly he must have hurt the 15 year old girl. Especially a 15 year old who was in love with him. He remembered everything, the way his friends would embarrass her, the way he would smirk at how dreamily she would stare at him during Science class. He always wondered why she had fallen for him in the first place, because as far as he remembered, he had never been nice to her. And he had seen the look she had given him when he had come in front of her at the Prom - she had looked at him with pleading eyes, which were almost expectant of something. Maybe she had expected protection. Maybe. But he had done just the opposite. But he couldn't help it. It would have been a complete paradox to his reputation had he spoken up to defend her. Not that he had wanted to; he had been a tad embarrassed when that cheerleader he had been dating had announced the secret out in the open, and his friends had guffawed at his red ears and cheeks.

But just the fact that he had been embarrassed by that pricked him somewhere. How moronic had he been? He had been conceited, selfish, and not to mention extremely supercilious and juvenile. He couldn't believe he had been such a jerk to even think on those lines. He obviously knew he was just as stuck-up now as he was then, but he regretted hurting Riddhima that way, which he had never done before, and just the realization of this mere fact made him feel better. At least he wasn't as much of a dog he had been before. And he would make sure Riddhima knew this. He had to apologize, and fast. He didn't expect her to forgive him, but he could try. He wasn't a bad person; haughty maybe, but not evil. And he had to make sure Riddhima didn't see him that way. He didn't know why, but it somehow mattered. And he was a people's person. He was so used to everyone loving him, normally at first sight, and Riddhima was a rotten exception. He wouldn't like to have that on his conscience.

"Are you in love too?" He looked at the boy grinning at him, and smiled.

"Not with anyone except myself, but I do have some issues besides that." Armaan answered cheekily. "I'm Armaan by the way!" He whispered cautiously, as the lecturer's eyes swarmed the room.

"Rahul." Rahul muttered in response.

"So that girl there, she's your so-called 'love' is she?" Armaan questioned.

"Yeah, the curly head." Rahul sighed. Armaan frowned, and then raised his eyebrows. So it wasn't Riddhima after all, but the curly head next to her.

"Wow. Weird how you can fall for someone in just a day!" Armaan mused.

"Day? Dude, I've known her for ages!" Rahul frowned.

"Oh, sorry, but that explains the drooling!" Armaan smirked.

"I'm not drooling!" Rahul muttered embarrassed. But Armaan didn't reply. His eyes were stuck on Riddhima as he contemplated how he would apologize. "Could you stop staring at my girl?" Rahul muttered irritably. Armaan looked at him amused.

"I'm not looking at the curly head. I'm looking at the wavy-head next to her." Armaan stated.

"Who, Riddhima?" Rahul asked with raised eyebrows.

"You know her too?" Armaan asked curiously.

"Yeah, we were together in college. All 3 of us.. Muskaan and Riddhima are best friends.. And I'm not surprised you're staring at her, even I tried to pursue her for a few days. She's a tough nut to crack, her. She's never with anyone for more than one date!" Rahul chuckled.

"Really? Boy, have times changed!" Armaan commented, amazed.

"What do you mean?"

"She was a nobody in High School, so it's a bit weird to picture her as the babe. Amusing.." Armaan sounded impressed.

"You knew her from High School?" Rahul asked surprised.

"Yep.. And she was nothing what she looks like right now.. She was never even so confident, nor so... hot." Armaan admitted.

"Speak for yourself. But wow! Never imagined Riddhima as not hot." Rahul spectacled.

"We've just known her as two different people!" Armaan shrugged. "Is she..forgiving..by nature?" Armaan asked lamely, suddenly weary.

"Depends on the intensity of your offence." Rahul smirked. "But she was generally nice to her enemies even, but I always told her how that gave her a mean streak, because she never let anyone know what she actually felt. It was quiet scary actually." Rahul said wearily. "And looking at your question, what exactly have you done to offend her? Its best not to fall into her black list.." Rahul joked.

"Oh, I've been there forever. And maybe one day she herself will tell you what I've done, especially now that I'm back in her life!" Armaan said sarcastically.

"Bro, by looking at you I can tell that whatever you had done wasn't exactly pleasant. And now that I think about it, she always kept her school life under wraps.. Dude, if you are the reason, I wish you all the luck in the world. I meant it when I said she was a tough nut to crack!" Rahul patted his shoulder and drove his attention back to the class.

All Armaan could do was - contemplate.

She wanted to yell, shout, scream. Why? Why was that douche bag back in her life? In her mind, she had killed him a million times. But here he was, alive, not aware of the gruesome deaths Riddhima had put him through in her crazy mind.

She was frustrated, but no, even that would be an understatement. And the worst part was, she couldn't show it. She had to smile, laugh, nod along, because if Muskaan would know, she would know that Riddhima's not as nonchalant as she claims.

She had found out long ago, the benefits of learning kick-boxing. It had started off as a joke, as a bet more like, between one of her college friends and her, who had dared to list 'What girls cannot do!' as a cool joke amongst his friends. And Riddhima, being the feminist, had proven him wrong, by taking kick-boxing lessons. And she was good at it too. Of course, that had resulted in many boys being intimidated by her, and loads of girls looking at her as an outcast, but she didn't care. The more skills you learnt, the better.

And kick-boxing had opened various doors for Riddhima. For one, it was always good to have self-defense; everyone was aware of eve-teasing incidents. And second, it was a good outlet to all her pent up frustration. And she had a lot of it, a lot of frustration, a lot of buried anger, which was invisible to naked eye, but if you dare to dig deeper, you would see just how vulnerable Riddhima was.

When Riddhima had entered the gym that late evening, she had thought of probably just running a mile, but her eyes had fallen on the punching bag, and instantly, she had been reminded of those gorgeous blue eyes she had crushed on, but now hated. She had then tied her hair back into a messy pony-tail, had removed her half-zipped sweatshirt, and after plugging her iPod into her ears, she had gotten down to punching the hell out of the poor bag.

It had been so easy for him to judge her, to say that she wasn't worthy enough for him, that she was no good at all. What did he know? He didn't know what it felt like to be her. He didn't know what it felt like to be the girl standing there, listening to those stabbing remarks. He didn't know what his comments had made her feel like. Made her feel useless, ugly and empty. She had drowned in self-pity, had hated herself, had even contemplated the worst punishment for herself. But once she realized what she had been thinking, she had jolted back to reality. Self-loathing wasn't the escape here, and killing herself was out of the question. Making amendments was. And thus, a new phoenix was born, from the ashes of the dead.

"Some people see the revolution, but some only see the girl;

I can lose my hard-earned freedom, if my fear defines my world;

I declare my independence from the critics and their stones;

I can find my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."

She muttered the lyrics to the song she had been listening to, without a care of the world.

The echo of the bag being hit was loud, and the strain on her knuckles was high, but she didn't care. All memories of that lost teenage girl kept coming back to her, and she realized just how much she missed her. She missed being that girl. But that girl was too vulnerable to be shown. That girl was too weak, that girl was deeply hurt, and that girl was now non-existent. Or so Riddhima hoped. But even she knew that in some deep, deep corner of her heart, that girl was still breathing, living, mocking at her, at the facade she was playing, at the mask she was wearing. Somewhere, both girls knew the exact reason why Riddhima was mad, why Riddhima was still hurt, why she was still wounded.

It was true. When you fall for someone, no matter what they do, you always have a soft corner for them.

Armaan had been bored to death. And there was only one place he went to when he was bored - the gym. And it had seemed like a good idea at the time; to kill a few sweats before calling it a day.

Until now.

He had walked in to find her murmuring, and he had heard what she had been singing to herself. And he had been impressed. Never had he thought, that the lost loser, or so she had been called in school, would be the kick-boxer, wearing a t-back and denim shorts, and her hair tied in a messy pony tail.

"Impressive." He said aloud, meaning to get her to talk to him, but he regretted it. He was again at the receiving end of her eyes, her hazel eyes which gave him the painful feeling of being stabbed by daggers.

Riddhima stopped the moment she heard his voice, and immediately, her eyes mechanically zoomed over to him, and stopped, scanning him. He had his stupid, trademark grin plastered on his face, and his eyes told Riddhima something - that this was one conversation she wasn't looking forward to.

The idea of letting her frustration out no longer seemed a good idea, and she was in no way interested in fighting with him, for a completely lost cause. Turning, she made her way towards the bench where she had carelessly thrown her bag and sweatshirt.

"I didn't know you were a boxer!" Armaan said in an impressed tone, approaching her.

But Riddhima was far from replying to him. Armaan sighed. This didn't seem easy; Rahul was right - it would take a lot to get Riddhima to talk to him like another human being, and not an unconcerned bystander.

"Riddhima, look, I know what I've done doesn't earn me brownie points, but it was all centuries ago. Can't you just forget all that, and move on, hopefully as my friend and not an enemy?" Armaan asked straight out. He had never liked beating around the bush.

Riddhima looked at him, her face expressionless. Armaan averted his gaze from her eyes; her eyes affected him, and he had no idea why. Probably because he could see the farce of nonchalance over the blanket of pain he had given to her as a stupid, vain, pompous kid. And at that thought, he met her eyes again. His mother had told him - always look a person in the eye when you're apologizing for some wrong; let them see you mean it, and moreover, never run from taking responsibility.

Riddhima slowly focused her gaze back on her bag, and zipping it, turned to leave.

"Riddhima!" Armaan called out, annoyed this time. "Dude at least reply!" He stood in front of her, not wanting to let her go. She shot him a murderous look. "Just give me a chance, that's all I'm asking! I hate being hated, and I hate knowing that I deserve it.. I want to make some amends, but I can't do that until you give me the chance to!" He muttered.

"So you have selfish intentions in everything you do? You want me to forgive you, so that you don't have to live with unpleasant thought of being hated by someone? Seriously, how self-obsessed are you?" Riddhima spat out. The nerve of this guy?!

"You're getting me wrong!" Armaan ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. Sighing, he continued, "Look, I know I've done a terrible, terrible thing. And I regret it.. I was an ass back then! And I know I've hurt you big, and I know you're still hurt, but-"

"Woah, woah, woah! I'm not hurt, I just don't care, and the only reason I avoid your presence, is because I don't commute to animals.." Riddhima seethed, and walked past across him.

"Are you mad at me for what I did, or because I can see through that stupid mask of indifference you're wearing?" Armaan challenged her, causing her to stop again.

"What?" Riddhima seethed, and Armaan winced at the venom glaring in her eyes. Was it even possible to hate someone so much, he wondered.

"I just meant that..you know. I can tell. You hate me. And that's precisely why I bother you so much. But if you just forget what happened, and we can start over, then, maybe even you will feel better!" He mumbled, and Riddhima looked at him warily.

"I have nothing to say to you, and I want to have nothing to do with you." She replied back in a monotone. "And as for the mask you think exists, too bad, you don't know me, and you never will." She glared at him, and turned on her heels. Predictably, she heard him call her again and stop her.

"Play me." He said, and she could sense he was desperate about something; of what, she couldn't tell.

"What?" Riddhima ridiculed.

"You heard me. Let's have a match. 3 knockdowns. Whoever wins. And if I win, you have to take me as your friend, and if I lose then-"

"-then you stop bothering me and I continue acting like you don't exist." Riddhima mused.

"No, then I keep trying to get you to talk to me. Either way, that isn't going to change." Armaan smirked.

"Why're you trying so hard?" Riddhima wondered aloud. "Why do you care? Its not like the famous, popular Armaan Mallik can ever run out of friends." Riddhima mocked.

"Yea, he can't. But I know I've been wrong about you. And I need to have people like you in my life." Armaan smiled back in response.

"People like me?" Riddhima cocked an eyebrow.

"Yea. Someone who can take things within her stride, is not afraid of challenges, and welcomes change.." Armaan shrugged.

"Enough flattery, lover boy. I don't get flattered that easily." Riddhima smirked.

"Worth a try!" Armaan winked, and smiled in relief; at least she was smiling; okay, smirking, but just the same, he had gotten rid of those angry eyes. Step 1 accomplished.

"Grab your gloves!" Saying so, Riddhima marched back to the bench. Unzipping her jacket, she callously threw it over her bag and removed her own gloves, tying them around her petite hands. Turning around, she found Armaan ready, his grin plastered on his face. As she paced towards him, she wondered what that warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach was. It happened every time she saw him smile.

"Ready?" He whispered. Riddhima gave a brusque nod. The fight was on.

~~*~~

CONTINUED IN THE POST BELOW Sanaa's! The chapter was too long for a post, yay! LOL! So yea, scroll down, you'll find the rest of the chapter! :) xx

5 minutes into the fight, and Armaan knew how qualified Riddhima was at this. She knew high-profile moves, her kicks and hits were well-aimed, and she had her utmost concentration devoted to the game. The way she dodged his assaults, the way a look of triumph always crossed her face when she would garner a well-aimed hit, everything about this person in front of him was pulling him like gravity. He didn't understand it.

On the other hand, Riddhima was reeling under the inevitable high that she was experiencing right now. It was a high that no alcohol, no sex-drive, no madness could ever deliver. She felt exhilarated. Almost as if she was at the peak of her individuality, like there was nothing more she could do free herself. Maybe the bullshit she had read, about Maslow, and his hierarchy of needs along with self-actualization, was actually true.

She noticed Armaan was lost, his assaults were less frequent. Grasping the opportunity, she tailed behind him, pushed him down, and pinned him to the floor.

Armaan, taken aback by the sudden attack, fell flat on his nose, and heard Riddhima's ringing laughter in his ears.

"1-0, in my favor, loverboy. What'd you have to say to that, now, eh?" She guffawed, as Armaan got up and dusted himself off.

"Still two points to go, babe, not giving up here." He smirked. Normally, he would have been annoyed, at having lost, that too to a girl.. But he had seen Riddhima laugh for the very first time in his life, and she looked breathtakingly enthralling. If only she would laugh like this at him everyday, he would be happy. He didn't know how that would make him happy, but it would. Somehow her smile mattered. Her laughter mattered. Because unlike most girls he had come across, it wasn't fake; he knew, because Riddhima hadn't even faked him a smile up till now. Her laughter was genuine, straight from the heart, and that appealed to him. He had to make sure she smiled more often. Not in general, but with him. That would only happen if she forgave him. And he would make sure that happened.

"Yea, yea, you prat, just let's get this over with!" She snapped back, and Armaan rolled his eyes at her tone. They were back to square one.

Armaan, now more alert and cautious, not underestimating this one helluva woman in front of him, fought back with his might, and since Riddhima had made no effort to be gentle, he let go of his inhibitions - which prevented him from attacking a girl - and threw back nasty hits in reply to her karma.

One such instance, he dodged her hit, and held that attacking right arm of her's in his own, driving and twisting it behind her back, whilst his other hand, fisted tight, moved towards her face - which was now dangerously close to his own - for a scoring hit. He stopped however, as his mind restricted him, reminding him that she was a girl. His eyes found her's, as he began searching her. Her face held no fear, she didn't even blink as his fist stopped an inch away from her face. Her eyes, however, gave her away. Armaan almost smiled as he finally saw something beyond coldness, hatred and empty pain in her hazel browns. It wasn't fear, it was anticipation. Her breaths were shallow and hitched, and his face lit up with a happy smile as her eyes reflected warmth, it showed some feeling, some expression.

That smile however, drove Riddhima back to that moment, and she instantly, twisted in his hold, now facing her back to his chest, and heaved a deep sigh as she felt a sweaty part of his vest come in contact with her bare skin. Narrowing her eyes, she got ready to kick him in the shins, but before she could move her foot back, Armaan had twisted her back again, and knocked her down, by tripping her over.

"Hey, that's cheating!" She scowled, rubbing her back, as she got back up.

"No, I dodged your attack, self-defense, and knocked you down. I can do that either by arm assaults, or by footwork!" He replied back smartly. Riddhima seethed, knowing he was right.

"What-ever." Riddhima muttered angrily.

"So, Ms. Kick-My-Ass. 1-all. What'd you have to say to that?" Armaan asked with a smirk.

"That just get a move on, and play the last point! I don't have all day!" Riddhima said in a fake sweet smile.

"Gee, you're so sweet to me!" He retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Birth defect!" Riddhima replied in the same tone. "Now can you please not waste my time!" She said, fisting her hands, as she observed Armaan doing the same thing. His aim towards her face set her off again, and the fight was back on.

"If I am such a waste of time, why're you even doing this? You anyway don't want me to win, nor do you want to have anything to do with me. You can just leave the bet, why give me the chance to talk to you anyway?" Armaan asked, his know-it-all, annoying tone getting on Riddhima's nerves.

"Can you not ask me these questions? Because I know you're trying to muddle me up in those, so you can see if I still care about your existence. But guess what, I don't care if you live or die this very instant. I am going through with this only because I want to have you off my back." Riddhima let out a tired moan, as she dodged and ducked under Armaan's arm.

"I thought my existence didn't matter. Then why give my presence so much importance that you want to get rid of it?" Armaan smirked.

"Can you shut up?!" Riddhima stopped her attack midway, and bellowed angrily, seething. She obviously didn't want Armaan to think what she was not even admitting to herself: that his presence still pushed her over the edge. And not in a good way. She didn't want him to have that benefit, of knowing that he still made a difference in her life. She had learnt how indifference could do wonders which hatred could not.

Armaan, on the other hand, saw this as a surrendering opportunity, and in a swift moment, he had pinned her down onto the floor, face first, and trapped her in between his legs as she tried to wriggle out.

"GET OFF ME!" Riddhima screamed, her nose almost touching the dusty floor, as she heaved a sigh. Gosh, he was heavy, she mused, as she felt his weight on her lower back.

"NO!" Armaan grinned triumphantly. "I won. You have to be nice to me now, remember?" He said, frowning a little.

"Ha! In your dreams, jackass!" Riddhima seethed. "GET OFF ME, NOW!" She bellowed.

"I told you, no. First take me back. Forgive me!" Armaan demanded.

"This is like a terrorist saying sorry to the President by blowing up the WTC!" Riddhima said sarcastically. "Is this really how you ask for forgiveness, Armaan?! By sitting on me?! Really, hasn't your Mom ever told you how to deal with girls?" Riddhima rambled, but suddenly felt Armaan's grip on her hands, which he had trapped with his own behind her back, loosen, and felt his weight being lifted off her.

"Mom never got the chance to do that, I guess!" He mumbled, suddenly lost, Riddhima observed.

To her questioning gaze, he smiled, and Riddhima was shocked beyond wits to see genuine and deep sorrow hidden beneath that paradoxical smile.

"You really stepped on a raw nerve there, you know." He laughed bitterly. "She died. 3 years ago." Armaan cleared his throat whilst saying it. Saying it out loud was toughest. It meant he actually believed that fact. It meant he had actually let that truth sink in. When he hadn't.

Armaan looked at Riddhima's face contort, first in a look of confusion, to sorrow, to guilt, to discomfort, and finally, expressionless again.

"I'm sorry.." Riddhima said sincerely. "I was out of line.." She said softly. Pursing her lips, and curving them slightly, she passed him a small smile. She didn't want to ask him if he was okay. He obviously wasn't, and her ego wasn't letting that wish out anyway. So she didn't want to try, either. But that smile was still her way of consoling someone. She wasn't that heartless.

"Its okay.." Armaan shrugged. "Look, I'm never, ever going to come close to being respected and treated nicely by you, when I've done the exact opposite to you. And even though it was a long time ago, I don't expect you to forgive and forget. But I still wanted to try. Not because I hate being hated. I mean, I do.." He laughed, making Riddhima's lips curve slightly. "..but I hate knowing that I've done something unimaginable and unforgivable, and not doing anything about it. I'm not a bad person. To you, maybe I am. But look how much you've changed in 6 years. We all change. We all have changed. I just can't believe its you I bumped into all these years later, after having changed." Armaan finished, his eyes earnest and sincere.

Riddhima looked at him thoughtfully, as if analysing, considering, weighing everything he had just said. After a moment of silence, she smiled back, Armaan was glad it wasn't one of her cold ones this time; maybe he still had a chance to say sorry.

"Good match there.." She commented, her tone business-like. Armaan frowned slightly. That's it?!

"Goodbye, Armaan." She said softly, swerving her hoodie onto her shoulder, and heaving her bag off the bench. With one last look of contemplation, she strode off, out of the gym, leaving Armaan smiling ruefully.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting out here since the past half an hour, and you wouldn't even answer your phone!" Muskaan greeted her with her loud voice as soon as Riddhima closed in on her room.

"I told you, just keep an extra key to my room, it'll make life easier for both of us!" Riddhima sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Nah, I would lose it. I'm already tensed up about handling my own key. How would I look after your's?" Muskaan asked in an 'Isn't is obvious' sort of way.

"Why were you standing here, Muskaan? And why in the world are you so dressed up?" Riddhima frowned, looking at her best friend's attire as she gazed at her midnight blue flowy dress, her curly hair bouncing on her shoulder.

"Fresher's party, impromptu.. That's why I was calling you, to ask you to get dressed quickly! Now hurry, go get ready.. Have a shower first though, you're stinking. Still can't understand your addiction to the gym!" Muskaan said, scrunching up her nose.

"Do I have to come? I'm knackered!" Riddhima whined, falling on her back, onto the bed.

"Well, its your fault you went gyming at this hour. That too for so long? You've been at it for over two hours, you know?!" Muskaan shrugged, glancing down into one of Riddhima's boxes labelled 'Formals'. "God, I really need to take you shopping, your wardrobe's outdated!" Muskaan commented. "We would have gone shopping, if you hadn't taken so long at the sweat-offs. What held you up anyway?" She frowned.

"Well.." Riddhima mumbled, not sure if she wanted to share her eventful evening with Armaan, with Muskaan just yet. "Was just in the mood of burning it off today. Been a stressful day." Riddhima said, half-truthfully.

"Well, exactly. Party is a sure shot way of de-stressing. Plus, hey, a drink or two will liven you up!" Muskaan winked at Riddhima, grinning, as Riddhima smiled back.

"You know that with us, its never just two drinks! We're talking about very long nights of puking and passing out, here. Tomorrow's a working day, and I don't want a hangover!" Riddhima said, smiling and shaking her head, as she walked to her en-suite bathroom.

"Oh c'mon, don't ruin it. It won't be that bad, c'mon! And here, wear this, its your best!" Muskaan said affirmatively, holding up a red halter neck. Riddhima shook her head and shut the bathroom door in Muskaan's face.

"I'm not coming, M, end of discussion!" Riddhima called out with a note of finality in her voice, as Muskaan heard the shower thunder from behind the bathroom door.

55 minutes later, Riddhima found herself amidst a maddening crowd, attracting wishful glances from many, as she strutted about in her red dress and black Louis Vutton's. She had garnered the likeness of being called a horny bitch on her very first day, as she dodged one flirty jerk after another. However, she still couldn't call the party a bad idea, because it gave her the chance to socialize, socialize with her fellow Uni mates, and she found many she could actually consider being friends with it, as they didn't shoot her envious (in case of girls!) or lustful (in case of boys!) glances. As Muskaan downed one shot after another, occasionally forcing Riddhima into them, as well, Riddhima kept her guard up; she knew Muskaan would be drunk out of her mind, and it would be up to her to drive them back to the bursary, safe.

It was always like that with Muskaan, and somehow, Riddhima never minded. Whenever they went out partying, Muskaan would lose no time in being sober. She believed in having a light head whilst dancing your way off misery. On the other hand, Riddhima found it wise to know exactly what was happening around her, at all times, especially when with a new crowd. And so the responsibility of looking out for Muskaan automatically fell on her. Not that Riddhima ever needed a reason to look out for her. Muskaan had very bravely run away from Punjab, at the mere age of 16 and had flown down to her aunt's in London, all because she wanted to escape her parents' backward and orthodox thoughts of getting married off at that young age. Her aunt - who never got along with Muskaan's parents, but counted Muskaan as her own daughter - had very generously funded her tickets and her stay, and Muskaan hadn't bothered calling her parents ever since. When Riddhima had first heard the story, her heart went out to her best friend; it couldn't have been easy letting go of your parents that young. But one day, when she had received a worried call from Muskaan's parents, she understood something very deep about her best friend - that sometimes she could be incorrigibly careless and irresponsible. Although Muskaan had made no efforts in contacting her parents even once after she got there, leaving her parents in an emotional wreck, Muskaan's aunt had been kind enough to pass on Riddhima's contact number to Muskaan's parents, and now, Riddhima was in constant touch with them about their daughter's well-being. Riddhima found them nice, but even she could tell how they disapproved of their daughter's free mind and heart.

Riddhima of course knew that Muskaan missed her parents too, but she never said it out loud, and Riddhima didn't bother her with the truth, either. It was necessary to give her space. She knew, that one day, Muskaan would come around, herself. Still, sometimes, Riddhima couldn't help but wonder - 6 years were long enough, weren't they?

But right now, as she gazed at her best friend setting the dance floor on fire like there was no tomorrow, she couldn't help but smile. Whatever it might be, some people just filled your life with utmost craziness, and Riddhima really needed that. She needed to let go off herself sometimes, and Muskaan made her do just that. And for that, Riddhima was thankful.

"See you later!" A guy, whose name was George, passed her a smile and left her side, as she waved and smiled back. She felt bad for being lost in her thoughts and not acknowledging what he was so enthusiastically rambling about, but she had to keep an eye out for Muskaan. She rolled her eyes as she danced around random boys, her curly hair all over her face. She laughed as she harmlessly flirted with the boys, completely unaware. It happened every single time, but Muskaan would smile at the boy and leave him to his thoughts of having a good night, as soon as she was done with her clown dance.

"Still the same." She heard a voice say, and Riddhima looked around to see Rahul standing next to her, his hands clenched tight against his glass.

"I don't know. Is it?" Riddhima asked rhetorically. "She's just de-stressing." Riddhima commented.

"I didn't ask." Rahul replied, his tone emotionless.

"Fair enough. She's not your's to save from longing glances though, so you might want to give that glass a break. And by break I don't mean break it literally, I meant you might want to loosen your grip on it!" Riddhima said, amused.

Rahul didn't comment, but Riddhima's reply had made his heart sink.

"Is she..." Rahul began, but didn't know how to complete his statement.

"..over you? No." Riddhima said simply. "Is she in love with you? I don't know...She hates you, yes, but I know she still wishes she didn't. So yea, can't say." Riddhima said bluntly.

"And what about you?" Rahul asked, completely ignoring Riddhima's words.

"I don't know, Rahul.." Riddhima sighed. "You hurt my best friend. But you were my friend too, and I can tell you're hurt as well. I would love to know why you did, what you did, though. Maybe then my opinions will change from what they are currently. Because the way I see it, Muskaan's the heartbroken victim, and you're the culprit." Riddhima said, not hesitating even once to voice her thoughts. "But I'm no judge. I just know one side of the story, so I still feel guilty for tagging you like that. I hope you understand its just natural for me to feel that way." She finished.

"I do..I didn't expect anything more or less of you, honestly." Rahul sighed, still eyeing his ex-girlfriend longingly. "I did expect your ex-boyfriend to be a little more exciting than he seems though. Didn't expect him to be sitting out when he could be dancing and drinking tonight. Didn't seem like the quiet ones when I spoke to him today." Rahul smirked, looking at Riddhima's confused face.

"Who're you on about? I've never dated anyone for over 2 dates, so I doubt that calls for them being tagged as my ex-boyfriends!" Riddhima retorted, annoyed.

"I'm talking about Armaan. He seems hot, can't imagine why you didn't go out with him, in high school!" Rahul grinned widely now, knowing he had hit a target, as Riddhima's mouth fell open.

"How'd you know about him? You spoke to him? He told you?! I can't believe this!" Riddhima let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yea, yea, drama queen, gulp it down, tell me the story some other day! I'm gonna go and dance with your best friend while she's mashed, tomorrow she'll be back to avoiding me like the plague!"Rahul rolled his eyes, and just as Riddhima was about to stop him, he interrupted her.

"I know you don't want me around her, but I can't see her dance that way with someone who's not me. And besides, you know I'm not going to leave this time..Oh, and by the way, you can tell me your story some other time!" Rahul winked, his voice clear over the loud music, as he strutted off in Muskaan's direction.

Riddhima frowned as she recalled Rahul's words. Armaan was sitting outside? During a party? Now that, even she found weird. Although her mind told her not to, she was still tempted to go and see for herself. Her drink in hand, she popped her head outside, and felt her zooming, light head, shooting neurons from one end to the other, calm down a little, as the overwhelming noise and numbness drowned into nothingness when she closed the door of the bar.

She found Armaan lost, his drink in hand, and Riddhima vaguely knew he was thinking about his mother. And although she would never admit it, she felt bad for him.

"Armaan Mallik's the last person I would imagine sitting outside in the cold when he could be dirty dancing with mini-skirts inside!" Riddhima said in a sarcastic voice as Armaan looked up at her and smiled.

"Be careful, you almost sound jealous. People might think you still have a crush on me!" Armaan grinned, as he scooted a little, making place for her to sit. Riddhima sat down, leaning back as she gazed at her frenemy who had his head buried in his hands.

"To say, I'm sorry I brought up something that opened raw wounds. I didn't mean to do that." Riddhima said sincerely.

"Not your fault, you didn't know." Armaan muttered, not looking at her.

"How'd it happen?" Riddhima asked.

"Hit-and-run. They say she was gone even before the paramedics got there." He replied, his voice emotionless.

Riddhima however, was undoubtedly shocked and found herself feeling incredibly sorry for Armaan's loss.

"They never caught who did it?" Riddhima asked cautiously as she bent forward and gazed at Armaan's shadowed face. She noticed his eyes burning, she could tell he was angry, and he had every right to be.

"No." He whispered.

Riddhima closed her eyes and leaned back, finally realizing who this person in front of her was. It wasn't the same 14 year old who had humiliated her at Prom. He was someone else, who looked exactly like him, but was yet completely different. It didn't take rocket science to know that his mother's death had definitely been the reason he had changed this way, so much that he was really pleading for her forgiveness. He knew he was trying to bring closure to her, since he had never received that himself, and Riddhima couldn't help but admire him for that.

"You were right about change you know, but I just hoped you didn't have to change under these circumstances." Riddhima sighed.

"I hope that too." Armaan leaned back as well, resting his head on the back of the bench.

"I know what I did wasn't forgivable. But I just know that it will make you feel better if you forgive me. Because I'm honestly never going to forgive the person who killed my mother, and that bitterness is never going to leave me, even if I try. I just hope my mistake wasn't as bad a crime as that, that you can't ever forgive me." Armaan said, after a pause which felt like years.

"Maybe what you're saying is right, and yea, definitely, what you did to me, is not even kind of close to what happened to you. I hope one day I can fully agree with you, though." Riddhima smiled at him as Armaan opened his eyes to look at her, and got up with a small sigh. "I'll see you around, I guess..." She muttered.

"Yea..See you around.." Armaan smiled, and as Riddhima walked back inside, he couldn't help but thank her for not lending out any comforting words - he had had enough of those. Somewhere, he knew, that sooner or later, she would fully agree with him.

Riddhima was well-aware of the fact too. But what her thoughts centred around, was that how everyone she had known had their own baggage. Their own secrets, their own problems, their own miseries. But amidst all of that, in between all the hurdles, all the sorrows, and all the deep shit that life put you through, they still managed to smile. People had their share of drama, their own sad soap-operas. But she guessed life was just like that. No one's life could be forever perfect and ever filled with smiles and happy meals. Life wasn't a party everyday. And just because life was never fair to you, it didn't mean you contempt anyone who smiles throughout the day without a care of the world - you may never know how they cry themselves to sleep every night.

And as Riddhima tucked herself in that night, after having finally made sure, along with a very helpful Rahul, that Muskaan was safely tucked in and fast asleep in her own room, these thoughts still revolved in her mind. Maybe, after all, she might give Armaan a chance after all.

Hey, mind the 'maybe'.

~~*~~