It was evening and nupur didn't left her room for a min, she was lying on the bed, cuddling herself, with closed eyes lost, lost in herself so much that she even didn't realize someone entered the room
With silent steps he came an stod beside her. It was strange, and pretty restless for him. The way she was behaving completely not being herself it was surly sumthing big. She has never been such, never than what happen today.
Without thinking twice he slowly move down n placed his hand on her forehead to chk her temperature
And she with s jerk step up panting..she looked at him and the warmth that move inside her was un bearable
Mayank: he too moved away…hey sorry…relax mein hoon….mein bus woh dekh raha tha tum …fever tu nhi
She looked at his worried expression and again felt havoc of emotions and more than that question arising….but his guilt and nervousness of making her awake make her come back to this world
Nupur: nhi its okay..woh ap is waqt atay nhi tu ..i didn't expected
Mayank: sorry tum so jao…
Nupur: mein so nhi rahi thi…ap itni jaldi..she sat up
Mayank: han..he said removing his shoes..n placing them at place…..ek buhat achi news thi tu socha tum ko ghar ja ker batao..he said with a grin
And she automatically find her lips curved into smile..
Nupur: news…
Mayank: yes…gunjan abroad gai hoi thi
The name of gunjan brought all that she left behind leaving him to..it was agin right infornt of her, it felt as sumone was making marks on her heart with knife..and she knew more are cuming
Mayank: actually Gunjan…tu form childhood hi meri aur Samrat ki friend hai , han woh mjhy se buhat closed hai, buhat zayda yet ek aur insaan bhi hai us ki life mei
She was listening to him carefull…and he was placing his things at his place carefully
Gunjan abroad apny parents se baat kerny gai thi, woh Samrat haina fast forward us ny uncle se shadi ki baat kerli thi aur usko abhi kerni nhi thi…kafi bara hungama hogaya tha
Nupur: Samrat ny ..ksis ki shadi
Mayank: Samrat aur gunjan ki…he said as a matter of fact
Nupur: JI…
this reality was not less than an earthquake for her, everything was dizzy now, evry little thing was meaningless ..wht actually he is saying,..no it cant be true , it surely be can true..is this is because they ..i mean she is married to mayank…or
Nupur: gunjan aur Samrat kasay
Mayank: he chuckled .n sat infornt of her…..kasay kya matlab…I know buhat different hai dono..but Samrat is really very serious abt her, pehly mjhy bhi kafi ajeeb laga tha jab I got to know .as gunjan Samrat ko choice keray..but than opposites attract…now its almost I thing 3 years they r in relationship…
So finally gunjan ny uncle ko mana liya k shadi delay kerdain and plus woh yeahi rahy gi before n after marriage…han na achi news
She just could node in approval, else her evry sense was blocked…
He left to freshen up..and she was siting there as statue..it sems her soul was taking out of her,
She was feeling like evry little word of mayank cuming as a slap on her face ….
Samrat is in love with gunjna….i came in between mayank n gunjan…mayank loves her..
Gunjan is my best friend u know that….y the hell mayank marry me when he loves her…y he showed pitty on me
they will be getting married soon…I am leaving u mayank so that u can find ur world in ur love….u can marry gunjan as u love her, and me who is just a useless thing to u…
ap humari biwi hain nupur apk haq hai… wht I am to him nothing just a mere responsibility
Each of his word, and confession came as a shock, which was aking her to wake up n see reality. She clutch the sheet in her fist and was just recalling what actually happened in these 3 months and what just happened three minutes before. What was actually reality, what mayank was saying or what she was thinking all long.
Where, where she was wrong and how cum she went wrong. She was actually feeling her head burst with all this now, her 3 months illusion was breaking within 3 mins.
Does it means mayank never loved gunjan, does it means he , he married her because of her. Did she made all these things so complicated , so much that she is entangled in them that much that now even his loud confession of he has nothing like she thought for gunjna, even this confession is increasing her suffocation..
She stood from there n went to terrace…
In all these 3months she was so much involved and determined in her way of thoughts that evry little thing he did for her was just pity or mere responsibility for her, if mayank was'nt loving her the way she might have thought her husband to it doesn't mean ,she doesn't mean anything to him. His care for her health , and asking her to sleep early was his not allowing her to interfere in his life, but she didn't notice again that he allowed her to do his each n evry little thing, and has always appricated it. If he would have behave like a typical husband from the day one, can she just imagine wht her life would have been, if not on the first day yet on withing few days he had claimed her as asking his rights in her, how much emotionally and physically she would have been crashed. As she too knew even physically she was extremely weak due to the trauma she gone through. She nevr notice the biggest thing he nevr hided anything regarding gunjan from her, he told her each n everything but even this was taken as his confession and call from to get out..
Holding her head in her hand as she jist cant belive that being betrayed by her own family she thought even her husband cant have her in his life until he has a reason, has sum intrest of his to have her. She was so much distorted that she almost lost the most beautiful relation, if mayank haven't came that day and wht if she told him that she is leaving her as she Doubt him …a tear escaped her eyes, and if he evr got to know that I was..i was thinking such…
Closing her mouth with her hand not to allow the winicng of her heart to came out….what I did, GOD wht I actually did, I doubted, hated the person who took me in his protection when I was finding guard from my own blood relatives, he actually came as an angel and I made him the most disgusting man in this world, when actually he should be respected the most of his non-demanding nature that I claimed as in different
Mayank: nupur its cold out there, donot go there…
Nupur: ji..bus ati hoon….she manged to say that in her choaking voice…
Mayank: nupur ur shivering..pls com inside
Chachi: mayank …she knocked on the door…
Mayank: ji chahci aay na….
She wiped her tear and stod from there to came inside, she has to, she needs to and will herself now look at him as her, only her husband. She needs to understand his silence, that this time she misjudge but now she wont..she will see his every silent gesture and show him how much he means to her..
Chachi: beta woh kal ki pooja k liyan tum ny pandit se baat ki
Nupur: pooja…
Chachi: she kept looking at mayank….kal 26 jan hai tu..
Mayank: mein kerta hoon..ap mjhy batay …
With that he left the room in daze, but his face and eyes were to stern and expressionless, empty maybe.
Chachi: mein ati hoon beta..
……
Samrat: hello bhabi..kya baat hai apk pati apko itna miss kertay hain 4 ki jaga do din mein lya aay
She couldn't help but to blush a bit..yes its some how true else why he came to take her with him, he was ..really
Samrat: uff itna sharmao gi bhabi..kya baat hai
Nupur: ap se matlab… wasy mein bhi tum se naraz hoon
Samrat: kya kahta hoi hum se…
Nupur: hmm tu gunjan k baray mein mjhy kyun nhi pata
Samrat: lo tu apko pati ny bata diya…wasy actually mjhy laga kafi obvious tha…us din shoping per tu mjhy laga apko pata chal hi gaya hoga…
Jasay woh meray pasao se shopping ker rahi thi, aur us din barish waly din mera mein itna tu flirt ker raha tha us k sath..u didn't notice…sorry didn't mean to hide it…but mjhy laga k sab ko dekhta hai tu apny…kan pakar k sorry…
She smiled faintly, and felt again sumthing piercing in her insde..she was busy looking only one way how can she looked the other way..
dinner which was complete silent form mayank side, though he hardly speak but today is expression were silent to, she thought within sum hours evr thing change, how she forgot that his eyes and his expression were always there. Today when he is deprived of it she can actually feel the difrence ..tht expressions she missed
After dinner she made sum coffee for him , knowing he may need it, no knowing he must be needing it..
In terrace he was siting with his head lean back at swing..sumthing was troubling him, in evening he was so happy for gujan and Samrat and just with chahci's word everything changes..wht is this pooja for..
Nupur: coffe…
He open his eyes, but there was sumthing, some thing painful!..
Mayank: thanks..
She was leaving when..
Mayank: sonay ja rahi hoo…he ask her in and urge that she can sit beside him, he wants her here, asking directly are not his ways..what if she is tired and still feeling weak..he doesn't want to trouble her
She looked back to him who has still his eyes close, this was never a question, he never ask such question, is he asking her to stay here..
Nupur: nhi..she came forward and sat beside her..
The slight frown from his face was turn in to a settle expression….
He was silent again yet she wants to know, his silence always has made misunderstanding in between them, and now she doesn't wants that to happen again already they have wasted there 3 months in her delusion and now no more. On the other hand he was dying to say everything to her yet he just cant as usual
Nupur: yeah kal..pooja ..kyun…
He who was sipping his coffe, placed it a side ..
Mayank: kal dad ki death anniversary hai…
I pin pierce inside her heart, so she was right he had lost his parents, when how right now she isn't feeling like asking , he is in pain, dam pain.
Mayank: chalo soo jao, tum wasy hi thaki hoi ho, nupur pls …kal tum pls kal sab dekh lo gi na,….he was too hesitant
Nupur: han han ap fikar nhi kerain mein sambhal lo gi sab, pooja kis waqt hai
Mayank: after 2, mjhy subha jana hoga office, per ajao ga jaldi islayan mein nhi dekh pao
Nupur: she cuted him in between…..mein sambhalo gi ap fikar nhi kerain…
Mayank: thanks…
Moving inside he went straight to bed, it felt as if he had not that much strength in him to say, argue or anything.
Lying near to her side as always to have some peace, he closed his eys, she too joined him on bed and after moments of restleeness she was feeling inside her, she turn to his side for the first time they were facing each other like this, feeling him so close u can feeling her heart thumping and she knew he isn't asleep yet , is eyes are only closed, next wht happen stop her heart for seconds..
Mayank: with his eyes closed…nupur…can u please press my head today too….its painng to much..
This was a sumthing that doesn't only made her realize that he knew her night activity, oh GOD, it actually made her cheeks flushed, yet the request and pleading in his voice arose and urge to hug him tight to make him feel better, slowly with shivering hands she placed her hand on his head, and took a sharp intake of breath as it touched his skin. As today she knew he know and has appreciated his her this gesture too…
Mayank: sorry tum tired ho aur mein
Nupur: shh so jaain…its okay..
Mayank: thnks..it always make me relaxed..thanku…saying so he moved to edge of his pillow ..he didn't opened his eyes to make her feel awkaard though sumthing was racing inside him to , enjoying there moment wch they felt together today, a moment they shared that was once love and other pain, her affection lessen it like his support has always has done…and slowly she found his breath deepen..
Sigh she looked at him, and curse herself the Nth time. What she did what actually she didn't, never tried to find out about his life, his pains, his struggles, his reason of so quite personality, the only thing she did was judging him the way she thought.
Today when she knew that he knew his stroking habit, she also knew that that calmness that always appear on his face, the movement of him near her, always were for her, his way of loving her evry gesture, yes he doent speak yet doesn't meant that he doesn't see..
Today she doesn't want to break this moment , doesn't want her hand to loss the touch so still placing it on his forehead she herself went to sleep..
It was late in night when both of them were sleeping to peacefully, as today he has a hand to hold in his cold night, and she has all her apprehension cleared, knowing the hand she is holding is her only her..
Unknown to the confession they made this night, they were sleeping facing each other, with there hands in between them, in tight hold of each other, entwining with each other, promising there presence throughout the life
Yoonhi gaata rahoon, gaata rahoon teri khaatir
Geet bunta(to synthesize) rahoon, betha rahoon teri khaatir
Per meray geet teray dukh ka madaava(compensation) he nahin
Naghma jarra(a surgical instrument) nahin, moonis-o-ghamkhaar sahi(Moonis = someone who cares (root word = uns)
Geet nishtar to nahin, marham-e-aazaar(sorrows) sahi
Teray aazaar(sorrows) ka chaara nahin, nishtar ke siva
Aur yeh saffaak(cruel) maseeha meray qabzay mein nahin
Is jahaa.n ke kisi zee-rooh ke qabzay mein nahin
Haan magar teray siva, teray siva, teray siva
Nishtar = sharp surgical object; regarded as a healing tool, though it's painful
Zee-rooh = he who has a soul --> all
If I sumhow summarize this all is that..my words my deeds are not compensation to ur sorrow, I don't have that healing tool, the cruel healing tool (neither I wont to be that cruel), to take away all that has happen or reveres all that..noboday has that..yet ur that to me…haan magar teray siva teray siva….
I hope u understand the essence of this title now as I have complete this gazal with this update surely not the ff, initially it was meant to end here….
Edited by drfizaahmed - 13 years ago
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