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Chapter 28: Goodnight, and good luck.
4 months later
Khushi was in that comfort zone between sleep and wakefulness. She knew she had about 20 minutes before her alarm rang. And she had no inclination to get up before it went off. She snuggled deeper under the duvet. She enjoyed the waking up process these days. She would wake to find Arnav asleep with one arm thrown across her waist. Or find her self cuddled in his embrace. Or sometimes he'd be up and reading the news quietly on his laptop, sitting on the bed, next to her. She liked waking up next to him. She had woken up with a smile on her face for the last 4 months and she liked it. They would have their morning coffee together, sitting at her coffee table. She liked that half hour they got together in the morning, before the madness of the day began. Sheila had to get ready for school. Nita had to be watched over if she was home, or stayed with, if she was in the hospital for another round of chemo. The day went by very quickly.
Khushi had gone back to work part-time a month ago. Nita was doing as well as expected. She still had an uphill road to climb, but there had been no setbacks at least. Arnav went to his apartment after breakfast to work through the morning. Khushi stayed home with Nigel and Nita until Lunch. Arnav came over for lunch, and then took over the rest of the day while Khushi went to work. Nigel had his hands full with Sheila. He took her to school and brought her back home. He also did bulk of the housework including making dinner. Khushi tried to cook lunch every day because Sheila liked her Mom's cooking, and also because it kept her sane. Doing the things she liked doing. Going back to work had helped too. She felt so much better when she was doing something purposeful. When her mind wasn't constantly on Nita's illness. She was more even-tempered, more patient with Sheila, less likely to snap at Nigel and Arnav, and simply, more at peace with her self.
The last 6 months had been hard on Khushi. Had been hard on all of them. It had taken its toll on everyone. There was a heavy price to be extracted for the stress of dealing with a very sick child. Khushi looked about 5 years older than she had 6 months ago. There were strands of grey in her hair that hadn't been there before. Sheila smiled less than she used to. She still didn't understand the gravity of her sister's illness. But she saw her sister looking weaker and paler daily. She saw her not have the energy to walk from one end of the room to the other. She knew something was wrong, and her baby brain reacted to it in alarming ways. She had started wetting the bed frequently. Something she had never done before. And she went through an entire month of having "monsters" in her room at night. No matter what Khushi, Nigel or Arnav said she refused to believe there weren't any. Every night she dragged her blanket and pillow to Khushi's room and slept with her. Only when Nita had started to play with her again, albeit for brief periods of time, had the "monsters" gone away. Freddy had presented 2 stellar collections in the last half year. He'd also become increasingly difficult to work with, without his Minnie to keep him in check. He'd fired 7 personal assistants in the last 6 months. The interns tried their best to stay out of his way. He yelled if anyone so much as moved a pencil in his room without his permission. In other words, he was being impossible. All his gentleness was reserved for Khushi and Nita. He still came every day to see them. He still brought Khushi something every single day. A single rose. A huge pen that was bright purple with sparkles. A Hermes scarf. Ragda Pattice from their favorite Indian chaat joint. He never came empty-handed. And he never left without putting a smile on the faces that loved him most. Nigel had risen to the occasion eventually. Once he'd dealt the emotional trauma of Nita's illness, he'd come into his own. He'd always been an excellent Nanny. He also became a tower of strength for Freddy. Freddy who never let his guard down in front of Khushi, revealed his worst fears to Nigel. And Nigel calmed him down. If Arnav kept Khushi together, then Nigel kept Freddy from falling apart. As for Arnav. He didn't know how he felt. He was blissfully happy with Khushi. Then dreadfully scared for her baby. Totally in love with her children. And afraid that it would all go away someday. He wanted to be happy. And yet when he was happy, he felt guilty. He didn't think he was entitled to enjoy his personal happiness in the face of so much upheaval in Khushi's life. And he hated himself for recognizing that his worst fear was that this happiness would evaporate very quickly if something untoward should happen. But he did a good job of keeping his feelings from everyone. He was always there. Always helpful. The kids loved him. Nigel and Freddy trusted him. Khushi needed him. And he was there for all of them.
It was amazing how they dealt with it. All of them in their own different ways. And not once did they let their masks of poise slip. Khushi stayed strong for her children. She had no choice in the matter. Nigel, Freddy and Arnav stayed strong for her. They dealt with their demons in private. And though they knew each other in and out, and loved each other fiercely, the emotion that shone the strongest in those 6 dark months was protectiveness. Each of them wanted to protect the other. Khushi wanted to protect Nita from illness and Sheila from the pain of seeing her sister suffer. Arnav wanted to protect Khushi and her family from all the suffering they were going through. Freddy wanted Nita to get better desperately, and for Khushi to never know his deepest fears. Nigel wanted to protect Freddy, so he could stay sane for Khushi's sake. Their lives were intertwined inextricably. Their love for one woman had brought them together. The one question uppermost in all their minds, was the one they all left unasked. What if?
Aadit and Anjali had settled into married life. They had refused to give into Mrs.Murthy and get married ASAP. They wanted to wait till Nita got better. Arnav had forgiven them and they were grateful. They came over a couple of times a week to see Nita. But the old camaraderie was gone. Khushi still maintained her friendly attitude towards them. Arnav had thawed comsiderably towards Aadit. Even Freddy had come around. But none of them could quite shake off the bitter after taste that Aadit and Anjali's thoughtless elopment had left them with. And Aadit and Anjali were only too aware of it. The relationship wasn't strained. They knew each other too well for that. It was tenuous. A little fragile at this moment. And Aadit and Anjali wisely made no attempt to press further. They were sad at their subtle, but apparent exclusion from their friends' innermost thoughts and feelings. And then, they were so blissfully happy with each other that they were willing to forgo every other relation for the one they had forged together. They were madly in love, and were enjoying the heady feeling of being in love. They had each other. And for them, for the moment, that was enough.
Khushi wished her life were that simple. Fall madly in love. Run away. Get married. Live a blissfully happy life. No sick child. No complicated love life. No past history that had left you scarred and afraid to love. She frowned at her thoughts. She wasn't afraid to love. Not anymore. This time, she hadn't tumbled headlong into love. She'd eased into it gently. She'd fallen in love with the man who'd chosen to stay by her side when she needed him. She'd fallen in love with his affection and concern for her children. There hadn't been any grand romance. No bells had pealed when they'd kissed. The earth hadn't moved when they made love. Instead she'd felt intensely comforted. Like she'd come home. Cocooned in his embrace, she felt like she had reached a safe haven. Her worries melted away in his arms. Khushi smiled lazily and stretched. She reached an arm across the bed and found emptiness. Then she remembered he wasn't there. He'd left for India 4 days ago.
Buaji had become seriously ill. She'd been in and out of the hospital several times in the last 4 months. Last week they had brought her home and she had decided to discontinue all treatment. She said she knew the end was near. And she was ready for it. She'd apologized to Khushi and had been forgiven. Her heart was lighter than it had been in years. She was ready for the next world, she said. There were no more fears left. When Arnav had been informed of her condition, Khushi had insisted he go. His family, and hers, needed him. Garima looked to him for support and she would need him. He'd left on a bleak, grey March morning. Khushi had dropped him off at the airport. He'd clung to her desperately before leaving. She'd said all the right things to him. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Nita's doing so much better. Buaji needs you. Your family needs you. Work in India needs your attention. Come back only when you are ready. We'll be fine. I'll call you every day." All those words. When all she wanted to say was, "Don't go."
Khushi showered and dressed quickly. She and Nita had an appointment with the doctor that day. Nita had been looking a little peaky the last couple of days. Khushi felt sure she was more pale than usual. She'd also been listless and had not been very hungry. Nigel thought it was because she missed Arnav, but Khushi had weighed her and found she weighed 1 pound less than the last time. She had panicked and made an appointment. They had drawn some blood for some tests and she had a follow up appointment to discuss results today. Freddy took her and Nita to the doctor's office. They sat outside, in his waiting room nervously. Khushi had come to hate that room with its too cheery cartoon painted walls. It was meant to put the children at ease. But she hated it. No child in here had the energy to lift a head and look at the Bambi mural, she thought, with unnecessary fury. Her nails were white from clutching too tightly at the side bars of her chair. Freddy placed a calming hand over hers. "Stop it Minnie! She's fine!" he admonished.
"Sorry. I can't help it." She grimaced. The nurse ushered them in a few minutes later. Nita's pediatric oncologist smiled broadly at them. Since he smiled in exactly the same way every single time, Khushi had no way of knowing what he was thinking. Sometimes she wanted to hit him on the head for his cultivated cheer.
"Ms.Gupta, I have excellent news!" said the doctor, beaming at Khushi. He'd never beamed at her like that, so she figured he really was pleased.
"Oh?" she asked, not daring to hope. Her heart started racing at his words, though.
"Yes. Ms.Gupta. Nita's latest tests results are excellent. I believe she is now officially in remission. Congratulations!" he said.
"What?" asked Khushi, blankly. She had heard the words, and yet she didn't dare believe them.
"Minnie! Nita's in remission. She's going to be OK!" said Freddy, picking Khushi up and swirling her around in his arms. A smile broke out on Khushi's face.
"Nita's really in remission Doctor?" she asked, laughing with relief.
"Absolutely, Ms.Gupta. I have the test results to prove it," said the doctor brandishing Nita's test files.
"Then why has she been looking so off lately?" asked Khushi, wanting to make sure.
"Stomach bug. I'm writing her a prescription. She should be fine in a week. And, Ms.Gupta, we're over the hardest part. I believe we are well on the way to a complete cure in Nita's case."
Khushi picked up Nita from her stroller and hugged and kissed her. "Hear that baby? You're going to be just fine." She said, smiling mistily.
They were in the parking lot a half hour later. Khushi was pushing Nita in her stroller and talking loudly to Freddy about celebrating when she saw he wasn't listening. He had tears running down his cheeks. "Freddy! Hey Freddy! What's up?" she asked concerned. In return, he just pulled her into the tightest hug he had ever bestowed on her. When he pulled away after about a minute, she looked up at him. "You OK Fred?"
"Fine. I feel like Mediterranean tonight. Want to go out to dinner?" he asked nonchalantly.
"That sounds good," she said, smiling up at him. She tucked an arm into his, as they headed towards his car.
Her phone rang as they were driving home. "It's Arnav" she mouthed to Freddy, as she took the call. "Hi Arnav! I have wonderful news!" she said sunnily.
"Buaji's gone Khushi," said his voice grimly, at the other end.
2 weeks later
Khushi was waiting at the arrival lounge of the airport. Arnav was coming back today. She'd spent the last 2 weeks in the most chaotic emotional roller coaster ever. Sad at losing an aunt who'd wronged her unknowingly, but had punished herself for it unsparingly. Elation at the prospect of her child making a complete recovery. It was too much for her to process. All she knew was that she wanted to see him. And then she spotted him. Walking towards her quickly. He looked tired. And a little sad, she thought. And then he saw her. His eyes lit up. He walked faster. She walked towards him, and threw herself into his arms. They held each other tightly. She wept into his chest. He buried his face in her shoulder. Neither of them wanted to let go. She finally pulled away, and put her arms around his neck.
"I love you. Never leave me again," she said, tears still running down her cheeks.
"Never!" he promised.
"Arnav, will you marry me?" she asked.
"I thought you'd never ask!" he said, bending to kiss her.
OK. This was tough to write. Tell me what you think. Not sure I did justice to it, frankly.
OK. This was tough to write. Tell me what you think. Not sure I did justice to it, frankly.
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