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Hello.
Yes, to answer to obvious, I'm back...lol not my back...my front...but yo i'm back.
So the Sahara Desert experience was quite...UNNECESSARY as i didn't lose much weight. Instead, I'm nom nom noming even more muffins.
Anyway, after my trip to Sahara, I made my way to IIFA Awards or as eye lyke 2 kal eet EyeFaa Awards because I heard all the female (and MALE!) celebrities were donating their liposucked fat...and other fats...hehe...hehe...haha...
A few MOMENTS TO REMEMBER 🥱 (im using appropriate emos)
1) SRK sees me...I see him...and then he's all like "OMG! Hey" and I'm like "OMGGG AMIR KHAN?!" and he's like "haha, i tried getting the plastic surgery since i'm so goat-like, but i guess they turned me into salman i guess" and i'm like "W*F" and he's like "you're cute" and i'm like "your son is right here, i'd rather take him...but he resembles you...ooo" and then he's like can I be your assistant on I-F as M-W56 junior" and then I realized this conversation was going nowhere. So I said, Ra.One was pretty sick and he's all like "thanks" and i'm like "no seriously...i barfed at the fact you were lipsinging to akon" and he's like "wanna be my chammak chalo" and i'm like "jaa jaa ranjhna" and he basically turned 62 on the spot. Good times.
2) Priyanka Chopra...the conversation didn't last that long since she collapsed...more on that later. So I approach her and I'm like "Yo, have you seen Urmilla" and she's like "hello, Priyanka in the house yo!" and i'm like your nose...did it get thinner or you got special lipo on it and break a few bone pieces" and she's liek "haha" in her nasally voice and then she breathed heavily...she was running out of breath and i offered her my inhaler and she collapsed. yo but seriously she collapsed on top of SRK and we all are like "RA.ONE!!!!"
3) I saw a mouse...hehe Toronto subways are unclean...I tried catching it but it bit my toe...oh wait that was Ranvir Kapoor
4) Anil Kapoor as always was surrounded by his baitiyaan...aik choti aik moti aur aik sookhi roti...and when i say betiyaan i mean the young girls he harrases 😭 he said "jakhaas" and i'm like yo english = "jack ass" and he's like "yea you are" and i'm like 😲 "you're hairy...like Big Foot...or Long Hair Monster" and he cried and Sonam Kapoor gave him a tissue but he was too hairy so the hair just absorbed the tears on its own. Happy Ending cause he didn't collapse, get old, or bite me...hehe EXTRA FURRY HAIR FTW.
5) Bipasha Basu...uhm...uhm...uhm...she forgot to SHAVE her legs! yo wth her dress was so MINI and so MANY hair coming out ! and i'm just like "BipBa!" and she's like "the hotel ran out of shaving cream" and im like "ever think about going to Shoppers" and shes like "hehe, i like my hairy legs...its actually a tactic...see anil kapoor is hairy and if im hairy as him, i can be as successful as him" and she basically looked at anil kapoor and drooled and im like "ohk..."
Alrightyz yo
those were the highlights
And honestly if this post is deleted, i'll know that Shahrukh Khan read this 😭
<3 <3 <3 <-- for my muffins...no not you people. just real muffins
byeee
always happy and taking a nappy (atm).
M-W92
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