The lunchtime break, a birthright for many, was but just a rare perk for the busy doctors of Sanjeevni. And a lunchtime chutti where all could co-ordinate their times was almost an impossible rarity. There were very few working days in a year when all of them would find time to have lunch together. But today seemed to be one of those rarely lucky days for the docs. Armaan watched the crowd from the entrance of the cafeteria that was bustling with white lab coats today, a few just bored to take them off, a few wondering if the rule of wearing a lab coat in the hospital was applicable even to the canteen and a few wanting to protect themselves from the spillage that they'd cause while hogging on their food. With so many docs in a room at the same time he would assume that they were talking about cardiac arrests and colon cancers, but all that was far from the topic of discussion today. It was just two days left for the year to get over and everyone, even the most serious of all medicos, was discussing how they'd bring in their new year. He had heard them discuss plans as they flitted in an out of the entrance while he stood there like a watchman, wondering what to do next. He had been looking around for Riddhima as soon as he got free for lunch but didn't find her anywhere. So he had come to the canteen, the only place he had not looked, to find it madly crowded. At first he thought he would be able to find her even if he tried to look for her in the confluence. But then he had spotted his friends at a table, Atul reading the menu wondering what to order, Anjali already munching into her lunch, Muskaan jabbering away to glory with only Rahul who'd listen to her, and Abhi trying to talk to Nikki while she texted someone through her phone. The only one he couldn't see was the one he was looking for. His Basket!! And that was the reason for the grand frown on his face. When all his options had been exhausted he finally decided to call her.
"Basket!! Where the hell are you!! ", he asked in a raised voice as soon as she answered the call.
"Armaan.. Itne gusse mein kyun ho beta? Riddhima had come to pick ma and me up from the airport.. Woh drive kar rahi hai..", Padma mom's voice came as a shock to him. But it also had a calming effect on him, his frustration vanishing as he realized why Riddhima was not to be found. He apologized immediately, realizing who he had shouted at, "I'm so sorry Padma mom.. Woh kya hai na.. I was looking for Riddhima all over the hospital and I couldn't find her.. She didn't even tell me that she was coming to pick you up.. Warna I would have also come na.. "
"Mamma.. If he's complaining about me, tell him he was busy cutting someone up.. I couldn't have informed him..", he heard Riddhima's irritated voice from a distance.
Padma mom just laughed at the two of them as she said, "Jo bhi kehna hai tum dono ek dusre se keh lena.. I'm not talking in the middle.. ", she declared, refusing to be the mediator between the two.
"Padma mom.. Just ask her if she's going to come back for lunch.. I really need to talk to her..", he requested her to convey one last message. And she gladly obliged as she asked Riddhima what she was planning to do, "Tell him I'm coming back in fifteen minutes.. Mere liye lunch order karne ko bolo.. I'll have lunch with him..", Armaan smiled as he heard Riddhima's answer glad that at least now he could talk to her.
"She's saying..", Padma mom had started but Armaan cut her off, "I heard that Padma mom.. Thanks so much.. Waise how are you.. And nani.. And unki cousin kaisi hai.. Is everything okay.."
"Haan Armaan. Everything is fine.. Tum shaam ko dinner pe milo.. Phir aaraam se baithke baat karenge.. Okay!"
And exchanging a few more pleasantries he cut the call, hoping Riddhima comes soon. He really needed to talk to her, but he had OPD duty in twenty minutes. Besides he was still mad at him for going off to pick up Padma mom without informing him. She could have left a message with someone even if he was unavailable. But what was more important was for him to know why was being so weird today. Good thing was at least she had promised to have lunch with him. That reminded him that he had to order lunch for her. He shook his head, trying to shake off all the complicated webs of thoughts as he entered the bustling canteen and headed straight for the counter.
While Armaan was on the phone with his Padma mom at the entrance of the cafeteria, the crazy gang of six was settled around a large table, busy discussing their plans for the new years eve like everyone else around them, "Yaar we must do something fataak! I mean.. Pehli baar all of us are together during new years.. Kucch toh karna chahiye..", Nikki said as she chewed on her salad sandwich.
"I know yaar! Lets go somewhere.. Weekend bhi hai..", Atul suggested enthusiastically.
But everyone didn't seem to think much of his plan, "No Atul.. Just last week hum Lonavala gaye the.. Phir se do din chutti milna is impossible.. We should just go party somewhere.. There this really cool new years bash in town this year.. We could still try and get passes..", Anjali put in her opinion.
"No Anjie.. Not one of those crazy parties yaar.. I don't like partying with strangers at discs and pubs. Not on new years.. Common..", Nikki protested to that at once. She had already made that clear to Abhi when they had been discussing their new years plans at home last night.
And Rahul seemed to be in her favor, "I agree with Nikki.. New years hai.. Its better if we celebrate it somewhere where we at least know the people around us.. I mean we should at least be able to talk to each other.."
And his wifey dearest supported him fully, "That's true.. Hum sab saath ho toh waise bhi mazaa aata hai.. I don't think we need to go anywhere in particular.. "
"You're right Muski.. Lekin hume kahin toh jaana hoga na.. Don't tell me Sanjeevni mein baithkar new year celebrate karenge.. ", Atul agreed with her but had a valid point to make against it anyway.
Everyone started thinking of what they could do, but before anyone of them could think of anything, Armaan joined them at the table. He had just placed the order for Riddhima and him and them come over to the overcrowded table locating it with a little difficulty.
"Hey Guys..", he 'hey'ed them, sighing as he dropped himself on a seat next to Nikki.
"Kya hua.. Muh kyun latka hua hai..", Rahul who was sitting opposite him asked looking at Armaan's not-so-happy expressions.
But Muskaan didn't let Armaan answer and replied for him as she teased, "Yeh bhi koi sawaal hua Rahul.. Uski Basket nahi hai aas paas. That's the only time when his muh is latka hua.."
But Armaan wasn't in a mood for all the teasing, "Muskaan yaar.. Don't irritate me! Seriously!", he almost shouted, raising his voice as he scowled at her.
Abhi sensed the his foul mood and decided to change the topic before Armaan decided to strangel Muskaan, "Accha yeh sab chodo.. Armaan we were discussing new years plans.. Tera aur Riddhima ka koi special plan hai kya?", he genuinely asked him. But the rest of them started fake coughing at that question suppressing their urge to laugh and tease him. Armaan just ignored them completely and answered Abhi who was the only one attempting to keep a straight face, "Nahi yaar.. We haven't really thought about this.. I'll have to check if I have duty that night.. "
But Anjali, who handled admin, had all his answers ready for him, "No Armaan.. Saare doctors ko night off diya hai.. Just a few docs who've volunteered are on call.. We just need to keep our pagers on us if they call for an emergency.. ", she informed him in a professional manner. She had been one of the few people who had designed the leave schedule for the staff for new years, and she had made sure that at least the eight of them were free that night!
Armaan was pleasantly surprised at that piece of information, "Oh that's great.. So what's the plan!", he asked them, now the excitement of the new years starting to reign in on him.
"Pata nahi yaar.. We were thinking of hanging around together.. But we don't know kahan jaaye..", Muskaan informed him of their plan so far.
"So theek hai na.. Problem kya hai.. Mere ghar aajao.. ", he coolly suggested, like that should have been the most obvious plan there was.
"Oh yeah! That's a great idea.. But I want music.. I need to dance!!", Anjali put in her request with her assent.
"Of course music hoga.. And you can dance all you want.. Like even forever..", Armaan told her, grinning at the memory of the party that Abhi had thrown him last year. That night, Anjali and Atul had not stopped dancing even after the music was put off.
"That's perfect.. And we can do whatever we want!!", she exclaimed, now excited by the prospect of this new years plan!
"I know.. We can do whatever we want..", Armaan reiterated with a naughty grin on his face, imagining what all he could do at the party with Basket! For a guy who was looking to dance on every chance, a new years party was like Disneyland! Now he couldn't wait for the party to start!!
But he was brought out of his daydream by a hard tap on his head by Anjali who was sitting on the other side of him, "Whatever we want doesn't mean I'll tolerate any nonsense from you Armaan.. All I meant was that there'll be no interference.. Like no papa and all.. ", she made it clear to him the meaning of every word that she had uttered and he had misinterpreted.
Armaan however remained unaffected by that reprimanding remark and just commented on the latter part of her comment, "Yeah.. Please.. Please do not invite Dr. Shashank.. Please.. ", he pleaded dramatically, putting his head down on the table, holding it like he was pained by just the thought!
"Even if you do he won't come Armaan..", Anjali shot back, making a face at his over reaction.
"I'm sure he will.. He loves torturing me..", he retorted with a frown.
But she couldn't take it anymore, "Shut up Armaan.. Papa has better things to do. And by the way he also has a life and his own friends.. Rahul's parents are coming over for new years.. Humse bhi pehle saari planning ho gayi hai..", she informed him only to make him go, "Oh.. Thank god! Good for me.. "
"Armaan!..", she had started to yell at him again while the rest of them sniggered at their conversation. It was more the best entertainment ever. But it didn't last for long as it was interrupted by a deep male voice, "Hi.. Good afternoon.. ", they looked up to see their four senior interns looking at them expectantly with Dr. Arjun, the guy who had addressed them, standing ahead of the other three.
"Good afternoon doctors.. Kya baat hai..", Abhi asked them as they were standing closest to him.
"Actually sir.. We were all organizing a party for new years eve.. And we wanted all of you to be there.. I mean.. If you guys don't have any other plans..", Dr. Arjun asked them in general, but mostly looking at Abhi, since he worked with him now-a-days. He had a good rapport with him and hoped that at least he would accept their invitation.
"Actually we just made a plan guys.. Sorry..", Nikki answered for Abhi, giving them a sorry smile.
But Arjun seemed unfazed and not disappointed at all at the rejection, "Oh.. That's okay.. We just thought it'll be a good opportunity to interact with all of you..But anyway.. Have a nice time.. ", he greeted them back.
"Yeah.. You guys also have fun!", Atul wished them back as he noticed a very disappointed Payal trying to escape, her face long and expression forlorn.
Armaan watched all of them turn around to leave and thought of an idea, "Hey Arjun!! Why don't you guys join us.. Like we are going to be hanging around at my place.. All of you can come over..", he asked out of courtesy. He didn't like the fact that they had been so sweet about inviting them and he and his friends had just turned them away.
"Oh.. But sir we were planning to invite our juniors also.. And we don't want to impose ourselves..", this time Dr. Riya, who worked with Muskaan and Dr. Keerti, answered on behalf of them.
"Common guys.. Don't be so formal yaar.. I think it'll be good for us also.. I mean even we don't know these juniors personally.. It'll be good to get to know them..", Muskaan said casually, trying to be nice to them as they looked at her awkwardly, not knowing what to answer. But Armaan didn't even wait for them to reply as he declared, "That's great then.. Its decided.. 31st.. Around seven thirty-eight 'o clock.. My place.. "
All of them had no choice but to agree with a, "Yes sir.."
Just as they started walking off, Armaan realized he didn't know how many of them were joining them. If he was hosting the party, he'd need to know the numbers so he could make arrangements. So he stopped the one who he had personally interacted with the most so far, "Uh.. Payal.. Later just tell me how many people exactly are coming.. So I can make the arrangements accordingly.. "
"Yes sir..", she nodded before leaving with her friends, a shy smile playing on her lips.
As they watched her leave, Nikki faked a cough, "Ahem hem.. Payal haan.. Dr. Payal se Payal ban gayi.. This girl is fast yaar..", she commented, making the others snigger.
But Armaan didn't find it so funny, "Shut up Nikki.. And Muskaan.. Tune Basket ke dimaag mein exactly kya bakwaas bhar di hai.. She tortures the poor girl yaar..", he exclaimed, asking Muskaan about what Riddhima had revealed to him the other day.
But Rahul butted in before Muskaan could answer, "Oh ho.. Now she's become poor girl!"
Armaan looked at him with a smirk as he answered, "Even you would if you got glared at by Riddhima.."
Rahul's eyes widened at the thought of Riddhima's glares, "Oh yeah.. I completely agree..", and he high-fived him as they grinned at that like idiots.
"Guys.. Shut up! She's my sister..", Anjali reprimanded them with the same glare that they were making fun of!
This time Atul stood up, not for his wife, but for his dearest sis-in-law, "And she's my saali.. Khabardaar jo uska mazaak udaya toh.."
"Champ!! Tum sab se zyaada important main hoon meri Basket ke liye.. And I am allowed to say anything I want to her.. So shut up..", Armaan shut him up smugly, playing his 'the-most-important ' card.
But Nikki had a retort waiting for him at that claim of his, "Please.. Agar tu itna important hai toh usne tujhse itni badi baat kyun chupaayi..", she asked him teasingly, continuing with the torture that she had subjected to this morning.
Armaan gritted his teeth as he seethed, "Usne kucch chupaya nahi hai..", he claimed, angry that she had brought it up again.
"Toh bata woh subah kyun aayi thi?..", she challenged him, his reaction telling her that he still didn't know what his fiance had been doing at her place this morning.
"Nikki Riddhima toh Armaan ke...", Abhi started when Nikki kicked him on his shins under the table.
"Oww!! Nikki! What are you doing?", he exclaimed as he groaned in pain.
"Riddhima ne kaha tha na not to tell him.. Shut up..", she said loudly, trying to communicate with him through her eyes.
But Abhi was confused, "What.. When did she tell us not to tell him.. What are we not supposed to tell him?.."
"Abhi will you please shut up!", she seethed, mad at him for spoiling his plan.
And though Armaan was bothered by the fact that Riddhima had not told him about her breakfast with his best friend, he remained unaffected by Nikki's way of getting back at him. He wasn't a fool to not understand that she was purposely teasing him. So it didn't matter to him much, or at least that's what he wanted to believe, "Nikki.. Its okay.. I don't even want to know what Basket has asked you not to tell me. I'm sure she has her reasons.. Stop lying about my Basket at least..", he told her, genuinely irritated with her now. What was just a tease for her was really pinching him hard. And she failed to understand that, "Fine.. Itna bigad kyun raha hai yaar.. Mazaak hi kar rahi thi..", she retorted back to him, her tone matching his.
"I don't like such mazaaks..", he shot back, glowering at her.
"Fine!! I'll just won't talk to you then!..", and she stood up angrily and started to storm off.
"Nikki.. Where are you going..", Abhi called out to her, taken aback by her sudden exit.
"I have work!!", she shouted back , now almost at the door.
"Fine.. Don't shout.. It's a hospital..", he tried to calm her down, but it had the completely opposite effect, "Just shut up Abhi..", her angry voice was heard by a lot of people who were giving the both of them weird looks. But she just marched out without turning even once to look at him, nor caring about the people around her.
Poor Abhi was left smiling sheepishly at everyone, "What did I do?..", he asked as he turned to the rest of them at the table who were sniggering away to glory. Armaan was the only one who had an indifferent expression on his face. He obviously had not enjoyed snapping at his friend like that. He had really acted like a loser. But he was really angry right now.
Rahul however, slapped Abhi's back as he sympathized with him, "Tough luck bro.. Anyway.. I need to get going.. All the best with Nikki..", and wishing him luck he got up to leave.
"Rahul.. Ruk.. Main bhi aati hoon..", Muskaan called out as she said a quick 'see-ya-later' to all of them and followed him out.
Armaan was staring at the table, much too irritated with himself and everyone around him. The onle reason he was sitting here was for Riddhima. But it was already past fifteen minutes and she had not arrived, "Yaar.. Where is this Basket! She said she'll come in fifteen minutes.. ", he whined, looking at his watch. He was supposed to be in the OPD right now.
"Aa jayegi Armaan.. Why are you being so desperate.. Give the girl some space to breathe!", Anjali remarked almost teasingly, putting him off even more, "Anjie please yaar..I don't want your fukat ka advice..", he rudely retorted, shocking Atul and Abhi, while Anjali just blew her top, "Armaan what's wrong with you! Kisi aur ka gussa hum sab pe kyun nikaal rahe ho tum?.. Enough of this now.."
Armaan took a deep breath in, realizing he was really screwing up everyone's mood because of the f**ked up mood he was in, "I'm sorry ya Anjie! I'm just.. Just!! You're sister is driving me crazy.. ", he exclaimed in exasperation.
"Tell me something new! Sab jaante hain you're crazy behind her..", Anjali actually dared to make a joke at that. Armaan just glared at her for a moment. Then realized there is no point in hoping for any kind of help from these people. They didn't know what he was going through. And he didn't want to end up fighting with them, "You know what! I'm just going.. I have work.. Agar woh aaye toh ask her to eat this..", he pushed forward the plate that the waiter had brought for him and Riddhima, got up without looking at any of them and taking his lab coat from the back of his seat, started to walk off.
Atul and Abhi didn't know what to say. So they just kept shut and watched him leave. Anjali however, called out to him, "Hey Armaan.. Wait a minute.. Tumne toh kucch khaya hi nahi.."
But he didn't turn around to look at her as he answered in a barely audible dejected voice, "I'm not hungry Anjie.. Mann nahi kar raha..", and he left for the OPD. There was a lot of work to be done!!
"Ridzi.. Armaan was looking for you.. Again!!.. Ja uss se mil le yaar.. He's been really annoyed..", Muskaan told her as she came into the resident's cabin to collect her stuff. She had just finished a surgery and was planning to head home. But she was surprised when Muskaan told her this, "He's still here? Mujhe laga woh ghar gaya hoga.. Maine uss Dr. Rohan se kaha tha to inform him ki mujhe late hoga and he should go home.."
"Yeah.. I know.. He was telling me.. But he refused to go home without seeing you.. He was telling me woh subah se tere peeche bhaag raha hai yaar.. Bechara lunch pe bhi bohot upset tha.. Nikki se ladayi ki.. Anjie was telling me he didn't even have lunch..", she told her as she recollected the conversation she had with Armaan half an hour back when he had come looking for Riddhima for the fifth time in two hours. She had finally realized that he really had something bothering him or he wouldn't be so annoyingly stubborn about seeing her. So she had tried to talk to him about it. And he had told her how the only once he had seen her in the entire day was in the morning for barely five minutes two of which had been interrupted by her annoying teasing session. She had felt a little guilty of taking his case then. But had tried to cheer him up the best she could. But wasn't too successful. He had refused to go home without Riddhima and just asked her to inform her that he was waiting in his cabin. But when Riddhima came to collect her stuff, she decided to tell her more than what he had asked her to convey, coz she really felt the need for it.
Riddhima felt guilty as she heard Muskaan tell her this. She knew she had kind of neglected him today. But circumstances had a major share in the blame here. By the time she got back to the hospital for lunch this afternoon, he had already left for his OPD duty. And before he could get free from his work, she had to operate on a patient in an emergency. In all the gadbad, he must have completely felt ignored.
"By the way Ridzi.. Why did you go to Nikki's place this morning.. I think Nikki ne usse bataya nahi toh he was upset..", Muskaan asked her when she didn't get any reply from her for her previous statement, remembering what had happened over lunch. She was sure that had something to do with Armaan's foul mood too.
Riddhima's eyes opened wide in shock at that question from Muskaan, "Oh crap!! How did he know! Oh god!! Now he thinks I'm hiding something from him! Great! This is exactly what I needed!!", she sarcastically exclaimed, running her fingers through her hair as she clutched it tight in irritation, not knowing what to do. For now, she just decided to go and see Armaan, "Forget it Muskaan.. Did he tell you where he is?.. I'll go talk to him.."
"Uske cabin mein hoga.. He was saying koi case study karni thi usse..", she informed her while Riddhima replied with a "Thanks Muski.. I'll see you at home.. Tum aur Rahul aa rahe ho na ghar?..", she asked as she hurried to the door. Her mom had informed her that the Grewaal's were invited to their place for dinner since the senior Grewaal's had come from Delhi, mainly for Rahul and Muskaan's wedding preparation but also partly for the new year celebration with her dad and her mom.
Muskaan nodded in reply, "Haan.. Rahul ka kaam khatam hote hi hum aa jayenge.. Tum aur Armaan bhi please jaldi aa jana.. Armaan ko bol thoda control kare..", as much as she understood that things were serious between Riddhima and Armaan, and as much as she hoped that they sort everything out, she just couldn't help but tease her.
"Muski yaar.. Not again!.. I'll see you later.. Bye!", Riddhima exclaimed as she waved out to her and hurried off towards Armaan's cabin.
She barged into his cabin to find him sprawled on the couch, a file on his chest, his head lolling onto one side, his mouth open and his eyes closed. He had probably been extremely tired and had dozed off while reading his case file. Riddhima smiled as she saw the sight in front of her, taking a moment to just look at him sleep. She loved to watch him sleep. He looked like a baby. He couldn't get any cuter! Unfortunately, she would have to wake him up and face all his questions that she so wasn't ready to answer, not yet.. But she had to.. So she went and sat next to him, caressing his face as she tried to wake him up, "Armaan.. ", she called out his name softly only to watch him flinch at the sound as he barely opened his eyes, disturbed by the light that had suddenly flooded them. He groaned at being woken up but did not fail to realize her presence and buried his face in her hair, nuzzling the crook of her neck while his hands went around her waist on their own, pulling her in as he lazily tried to doze off again.
Riddhima smiled as he did that, caressing his back with one hand, running the other through his hair as she moved her fingers soothingly on his scalp.
"I love you..", she whispered, more to herself than to him. But he must have heard her, coz almost in reply, she felt his lips on her skin, burying his face into her neck as he nuzzled it, almost tickling her as she giggled, "Armaan.. Get up baby.. You're not at home.. We're in the hospital remember..", she reminded him, as she tried to get him to wake up.
"Tch.. You're just mean Riddhima.. Let me sleep..", he mumbled against her shoulder blade, complaining against her attempts to wake him up.
"Armaan.. Get up na now.. Bohot ho gaya..", she prodded his shoulder, slapping his back lightly when he refused to budge. But it had no effect on him whatsoever, "Armaan.. Utho na ! Please.. "
"No Riddhima!", came his point blank refusal to her polite request.
So she had no option left but to use her last resort, "Fine.. You sleep here.. Main ghar jaa rahi hoon..", she threatened him.
But he shamelessly replied, "Tumhe ghar jaane kaun dega.."
"Armaan.. Please.. And why are you still here. You should have gone home na.. Mamma must be waiting for you.. Maine tumhe inform kiya tha na..", she asked him, trying to push him away from her.
But he just held on, "Jab nahi chahiye hota hai tab inform karti hai.. I really don't care.. I am going to sleep here.. And you are not going anywhere..", he declared stubbornly, holding her tight while she fidgeted in his hold, trying to find an escape. But she didn't have to struggle for long, as Armaan's pager beeped loud and clear, declaring an emergency, making him groan in frustration, "You gotto be kidding me!!!", he exclaimed, extremely annoyed by the timing of the pager as he got up to answer it. He had no option but to wake up and walk all the way to his desk where it lay, beeping for a second time before he reached it.
Riddhima followed him to his desk to look at what the problem was, "Emergency?", she asked him, hoping it was just a routine check up or something. But to her dismay, she saw him nod in a yes. "I gotto go.. This may take a while.. Basket.. Tum ghar jaao.. I'll come on my own..", he told her as he picked up his lab coat and stethoscope, getting ready to tackle another myocardial infarction in a day.
But Riddhima stopped him before he left, "Armaan.. I'll wait.. ", she told him, looking at him apologetically for the way she had behaved today. But she really hadn't planned for it to become so messy.
Armaan saw the guilt in her eyes and melted almost instantly, "No Basket.. Don't wait.. You look tired.. Tum ghar jao.. Don't worry.. I'll come as soon as I can..", he reminded her, giving her arm an affectionate and assuring squeeze, before rushing out of the cabin and towards the ER. Riddhima just stood there for a while, thinking about the terrible day. Partially it was her doing, but her luck wasn't doing anything to make it better either. For a moment, she thought of surprising him by waiting for him till he finishes his work, but her mom's call asking her to come home asap ruined even that for her. As she drove back home all she could think of was what she could do to make it up to Armaan. Coz even if she did what she was doing for him, she had still not figured out what she would say to him about it. And it was very important that she did..
By the time Armaan reached the Gupta residence for dinner, the guests were already on their deserts. He saw Rahul, Muskaan and Mr. and Mrs. Grewaal sitting in the living room with Dr. Shashank, naani and Riddhima while Padma mom, who had opened the door for him, asked him to join them, "Baith Armaan.. I'll get you dinner.. "
Armaan smiled at all of them, greeted Rahul's parents and then went and took the only place that was available, and fortunately for him, it was next to his Riddhima. As Padma mom handed him his dinner, he asked everyone, "You guys had dinner?..", out of polite courtesy and also owing to the fact that it felt weird to be the only one eating while the others did all the talking.
"Haan Armaan.. Sabka khana ho gaya hai.. Tu jaldi kha le, then I'll get ice cream for you..", Padma mom answered him, ruffling his hair affectionately as she encouraged him to eat. He smiled back at her gesture and nodded only to be interrupted by Muskaan's comment, "Only Ridzi didn't have dinner tonight. ", she loudly declared, smirking at Armaan and an embarrassed Riddhima who was sitting beside him.
Armaan scrunched his brows at that remark and looked at Riddhima. But she just stole a quick glance at him and glared at Muskaan.
"She isn't feeling well Muskaan.. Kyun baar baar usse puch rahi hai..", Rahul reprimanded Muskaan who was still looking at Armaan meaningfully. Riddhima had refused to eat anything when all of them had dinner citing the reason for her abstinence that she wasn't feeling well. He didn't understand why his wife kept bringing up the topic almost teasing Riddhima every time. Couldn't she really be unwell!
Muskaan however was sure of the reason behind why Riddhima had refused to eat and refused to believe the 'unwell' crap from her. Partly out of the fun of teasing her and partly out of concern, she had let Armaan know of this. Coz she was sure, he wouldn't let his Basket go hungry and especially not when he was the reason behind her fast.
And she was right. Coz as soon as Armaan got the hint of what may have happened here, he made up a plan in his head, "Uh.. Padma mom.. I am expecting an important call.. Kisi doctor ke saath case discuss karni hai..", he spoke out loud to interrupt the conversation that the oldies were engrossed in, ignoring the argument that Rahul and Muskaan were having.
Padma looked up at him, so did the others as he continued, "Uh.. So.. I'll just go to the kitchen and eat.. Yahan.. Aap sab ko disturb hoga and I also have to discuss something important.. ", he politely requested as he got up to leave their company.
Padma smiled as she realized what was going on. She knew her daughter better than that. And she probably knew Armaan even better. So she just nodded and turned to her daughter, "Riddhima beta.. Will you please serve him what he needs.. I mean.. If your feeling up for it.. ", she put in, winking at her. Riddhima was left shocked at that request of hers. Was she that bad a liar!
"Mamma.. Why do I need to serve him.. Woh khud bhi toh le sakta hai na.. I'm really not feeling well..", she had to keep up with her naatak or everyone would believe Muskaan's claim that she didn't have dinner coz she wouldn't have it without Armaan.
But Armaan didn't really care what others thought about it, even as he heard Muskaan's giggles in the background, "Riddhima.. Please help me na.. I need one more roti.. And I don't know where it's kept..", he requested, trying to do some ishara with his eyes.
But Riddhima was adamant on not accepting defeat, "Armaan.. Wahin counter pe rakha hai sab.. Its not that difficult to find..", she told him slow and clear, her eyes telling him that she did not want to be a part of this nautanki of his.
But what Muskaan said next completely gave her away, "Jiske liye ek aur roti chahiye agar woh hi nahi hogi toh woh roti lekar karega kya.." Padma mom, nani and Nandini aunty burst into a fit of giggles at that comment while Rahul and Dr. Grewaal tried to stifle their grins. Dr. Shashank was the only one not laughing, supporting his daughter, "Stop it now everyone.. Riddhima is not feeling well and tum log usse hi kyun takleef de rahe ho.. Main dekhta hoon Armaan ko kya chahiye.. " Armaan's eyes widened in fear at the prospect of having Shanky papa serve him his dinner! NO!!
Thankfully before Shanky could actually get up, Padma mom stopped him, "Shashank aap bhi na.. Kucch samajhte nahi hain.. Riddhima.. Go help him beta.. Don't give me silly excuses..", she slightly scolded her daughter for being so stubborn.
"Haan beta.. Tumhara hone waala pati hain.. Thodi seva karni chahiye..", and this remark from Nandini aunty didn't leave Riddhima much choice as she got up and followed Armaan to the kitchen while he had a triumphant smile playing on his lips. Everyone else laughed as they heard Riddhima mutter curses under her breath, a few at them, a few at her hone waala pati.
"Armaan! Tum yeh kya karte rehte ho.. Why do you like embarrassing me in front of everyone so much.. Itna naatak kyun kar rahe the.. Yahin toh rakha hai sab khana..", she started her rant as soon as they were out of earshot and in the kitchen.
"Basket.. Shut up!! Firstly I did not embarrass you.. Who asked you to skip dinner in the first place.. And woh bhi yeh jhoot kehkar that you're not well.. That too, to a bunch of doctors!! Who's going to buy that Riddhima! ", he asked her, his questioned laced with ridicule as he defended his actions.
"At least they didn't pester me before you came.. ", was her complaint.
Armaan smiled at the frown on her face and nudged her elbow as he said softly, "That's coz they knew I would make sure you eat once I come!"
"Armaan.. Stop it.. ", she wasn't going to give in so easily.
"Fine.. I'll stop it.. You eat.. ", he tried to negotiate in vain, "Tch.. Maine kaha na I'm not well.. I'm not going to eat..", she raised her voice in frustration. And at that Armaan finally lost his cool, "Fine.. Don't eat.. Main bhi nahi khaunga..", he angrily declared, putting down the plate at the counter.
"Armaan stop it.. I'm really..", she had started to argue back but he cut her off,"Stop lying Riddhima.. Forget it.. Main nahi khane waala.. Anyway I missed lunch because of you this afternoon.. I'll skip dinner too.. Is that okay?"
"Armaan.. I.. ", but she didn't have anything to say to that. Her eyes prickled with tears at the guilt, but she gulped the hurt away before they started flowing down her cheeks. She knew she had lost the game the moment those words had left his lips. Calming herself down, she took a piece of the roti and dipped in the daal as she put it forward towards him. She had lost the argument fair and square and this was the only thing she could think of doing. But Armaan just glared at her as she did that, "Maine kaha na Riddhima.. Main tab tak nahi khaunga jab tak tum nahi khaati.. That's my final decision.."
"Toh mera bhi final decision sun lo Armaan.. Main bhi tab tak nahi khaungi jab tak tum mujhe nahi khilate.. Yeh toh main tumhe de rahi thi, so that tum mujhe khila sako.. I wasn't making you eat it!", Armaan looked at her confused, then pondered over her words, trying to decipher the meaning, looking for a catch. But when he saw her naughty smile hiding behind the frown, he couldn't help but give in to his smile. They spent the next fifteen minutes feeding each other their dinner as they sat on the kitchen counter, swaying their legs as they hung from it while they argued about whose line was the filmiest in the extremely filmy dialogue that they just had had.
"You shut up.. Kisi bhi film mein the heroine doesn't say 'main sirf tumhare haatho se khaungi.. I was just giving it to you so you can feed me'.. 'Main tumhare bina nahi khaunga' is more common and typical!.. ", he claimed as she argued back while passing him a glass of water after they finished eating, "Please.. Maine bhi movies mein dekha hai.. You toh don't even watch movies so much.. Don't teach me.. "
And they bickered on, oblivious to the presence of Padma mom who was smiling as she enjoyed the show from the entrance of the kitchen. Shashank had told her how they had been extremely serious last night over dinner and he was worried there was something wrong between them. But this sight in front of her assured her that it wasn't something they should worry too much about. She just prayed to God to always keep them bickering like this. It was as normal as things could get between them! Just as she was about to interrupt their banter to call them out to sit with everyone, the doorbell rang.
While Padma mom was engaged in answering the door, Armaan and Riddhima's argument had moved onto something serious, "I'm sorry na Armaan.. I forgot to tell you that I was going to Nikki's place.. ", she apologized to him when he asked her angrily about her whereabouts this morning.
"What sorry Riddhima.. You forgot!! That's just a lame excuse.. And upar se Nikki was saying that you didn't want me to know what you were doing there in the morning..", he complained about Nikki while he got the chance.
"Armaan I was going to tell you about it later.. But then both of us were so busy.. What could I have done..", she tried to defend her self but failed to convince him, "What busy Riddhima.. Ek phone nahi kar sakti thi tum.. And are you even going to tell me now what you were doing at her place.. "
Riddhima sighed in defeat at that question of his, then looked at him, contemplating what his reaction will be, then she slowly looked away as she said, "I will.. Par I am scared ki tum gussa ho jaoge.."
Armaan looked at her confused as he heard her. She did genuinely look like she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, "Kyun.. Aisa kya kar rahi thi tum?..", he asked her suspiciously.
"Pehle promise karo you wont get mad at me..", she demanded, pouting at the thought of his reaction. She didn't want to piss him off again.
"Why would I get mad at you Riddhima?!..", he asked her, really curious now to know what she was doing.
But their conversation was interrupted by Padma mom as she called out to them from the living room, "Riddhima! Armaan.. Nikki's come beta!!"
"Nikki!!! What is she doing here at this time?", Armaan made a face as he looked at the time on his watch. It was pretty late and she certainly had not been invited to the Guptas for dinner this evening.
Riddhima was relieved that she had been let off the hook at least temporarily thanks to her mom and Nikki.. But she was as curious as Armaan as to why she was here at this late hour. "Lets go find out.. ", she said as she escaped from the kitchen.
"Riddhima.. But.. ", but she had gone off before he could stop her and grill her about morning. Cursing Nikki for the hundredth time today, he made his way out to see what his best friend was up to this time.
"Ridzi!!! You won't believe what I found!!", Nikki exclaimed as she saw Riddhima enter the living room. She seemed extremely excited about something and that intrigued not only Armaan and Riddhima, but also everyone else gathered there, including Dr. Shashank.
"What is it Nikki? What is it that you found at eleven in the night!!!", Armaan asked, sounding uninterested in what she had found, but was dying inside for her to reveal her discovery.
But Nikki was still angry with Armaan for his rude behavior at lunch this afternoon, "You shut up! I'm not even talking to you..", she shot back angrily at him.
But Muskaan's impatience got the better of her, "Nikki yaar.. Jaldi dikha na.. What is it!", she asked without caring about the fight that was going on between them. And that diverted Nikki's attention back at her surprise, "Okay.. When I went home I was just going through my stuff and all.. And I guess what I found! And this one's for you Ridzi!", she said very fast in all her excitement, almost jumping as she imagined Riddhima's reaction.
Riddhima, who had initially been as clueless as the others, got a clue to what Nikki may have found when she heard her, and that most certainly did not excite her as much! Not when she thought of how Armaan would react to it! She should have probably warned Nikki to not make such a public viewing of it. But then she wasn't even expecting Nikki to find it. She had told her that she didn't have what she was looking for in the morning. Where did this suddenly come up from!! But all that she could take care of later. The need of the hour was to stop Nikki from unveiling what had her so madly excited. But before she could do that, "Cut out the suspense yaar Nikki!! What the hell have you found.. ", Rahul couldn't help but wonder what it was that had made her so overexcited and as much as he tried pretending that he didn't care, he couldn't hide his curiosity now.
"But Nikki..", Riddhima had started to protest. But Nikki had already started fiddling in her bag for it and before Riddhima could even complete her sentence, "Ta da!!!", she had brought out something that looked like a book and dramatically displayed it to everyone. Armaan peered over Riddhima's shoulder to get a better look at what it was, Muskaan and Rahul jumped up from their seats and bent over to see it while Riddhima, who had the best view of it, just scrunched her nose in confusion as she read what was written on that book, 'The Chronicles Of Nikki Malhotra : The Girl Behind the Legend'. W*F!! This was absolutely not what she was expecting Nikki to come up with! And she had no clue as to what it was and why she was showing it to her. But two other people in the room knew exactly what it was, "Oh NO!!! Not that Nikki!!!!", Rahul exclaimed while Armaan who was looking at it like he was horrified of it had still not recovered from the shock!
"Yeh kya hai Nikki.. ", Riddhima asked, taking the book from her. It looked like an actual publication with a very professionally done cover design with a range of ten years mentioned in brackets next to the title and quite a few pages to it. It was at least an inch thick. But she didn't need Nikki's answer when she opened the first page to check out the contents. It had different titles with page numbers indicating topics like 'At School', 'The Rising Star', 'Champ', 'Best Friend', 'Best Daughter' etc. Clearly this was an account of Nikki's life in a decade, probably her school years.
"Wow! Nikki.. Is this like your diary.. Its amazing..", she exclaimed as Riddhima turned over a page to topic one. She was quite impressed with the glossy print and professional layout.
"Nahi yaar Muski.. Its not my diary.. Its just an account of my school life.. Actually, tenth board ke baad we had vacation for almost two months till the results came out.. I was extremely bored and kind of depressed that school was over.. Toh mamma suggested that I do something constructive with the time I had.. So I collected all the photographs that I had from my school days and made this.. And since mama ka desktop publishing ka business tha, she helped me do this.. Its so cool na.."
"Yeah.. In the world where cool equals excruciating embarrassment..", Rahul commented as Nikki glared at him. What Nikki was proudly showing off to her friends had made him go red around the ears. He really didn't want Muskaan to see what was in there. But before he could take any action against it Riddhima had flipped the pages over, "This is unbelievable!!", she exclaimed in awe at what she saw. It was an account of Nikki's first day at primary school with a picture of a little Nikki who looked extremely excited about her new school. It was almost matching her expression right now as she looked on with Muskaan and Riddhima. Standing behind her was a tiny little guy crying his eyes out unknown to the fact that he was being captured on camera. Riddhima would have never recognized him as Rahul had Nikki not tagged him as 'Rotlu Rahul' in the picture. But what had caught her attention and caused her to make that overawed remark was not Nikki, nor Rahul, but the one who Nikki was standing with, holding his hand as she waved a goodbye at the camera. Those grayish blue eyes of his were unmistakable with the much too familiar naughty glint in them and that wicked grin that deepened the dimple in his chubby cheeks. A bright smile lit up her face as she recognized who that was even without reading the tag, 'I would have been crying like Rahul had Armaan not held my hand'.
"Oh my god! Is that Rahul!! Rotlu Rahul!!!" Muskaan burst out laughing as she saw the photo making Rahul turn red in embarrassment and wanting nothing but to kill Nikki. But she stopped laughing when she spotted the other cutie in the picture, "OMG!! Is that Armaan!! Gosh he was so cute!!!", she exclaimed out loud exactly what she was feeling, drawing everyone's attention to her.
"Ridzi I couldn't find any photos.. And mamma said she'll take some time to find the ones I have at home and scan them and all.. But when I found this I just couldn't keep myself from showing it to you..", Nikki told her as she didn't look up from that photograph at all. Armaan was more than just adorable at six. She kept looking at it as she answered Nikki, "This is brilliant Nikki.. Thank you so much.. ", she thanked her, still smiling at that photograph. She couldn't get enough of it. She had been curious to see his childhood photographs, but she didn't know they'd completely floor her the way this one had. And this was just one! After thinking a lot last night, she had come to the conclusion that Armaan would have to stop running away from his past. The main reason according to her for his discomfort was that he pretended it didn't exist. She felt he needed to face it. And the first step towards it was to bring his past into their life, instead of trying to pretend that it didn't exist. So she had gone to Nikki's place in the morning to ask her if she had any of Armaan's childhood photos since he didn't have any. But she had been disappointed when Nikki told her that she had loads and loads of albums of their childhood with Armaan being in quite a few of them, but they were all in Bangalore at her mom and dad's. She had purposely not told Armaan about it coz firstly she didn't get what she was looking for and secondly, she was sure Armaan wouldn't want her to get access to them for whatever reasons he had. But now that she had a book full of memories to explore, she completely forgot about his reaction. She was way too excited to look through more, forgetting that a dangerous storm was brewing around her, waiting for the right time to blow her off.
Armaan was watching her reactions as she turned over the pages of Nikki's damned Chronicles, as she grinned at it like a fool while Muskaan kept putting in her 'cho cute..' comments. He didn't know why he felt really really angry right now. Angry at Muskaan for calling him cute, angry at Rahul for his W*F remarks as Muskaan laughed at his childhood photos, angry at Nikki for unknowingly betraying him by bringing this up, and most of all, angry with Riddhima for trying to stealthily procure what he didn't want her to. Now he understood why she had not told him that she was going to Nikki's this morning. He wouldn't have let her do this if he had the slightest hint! She was right when she said that he'd be mad at her for doing this. Yes he was mad!! He just wanted to scream at someone or better still strangle someone. The only reason he was trying to control his temper was the presence of the elders. He watched Padma mom join the party now wanting to see what everyone was raging about. Soon Nandini aunty too peeped in wanting to see her son's childhood pictures. Dr. Shashank and Dr. Grewaal just watched them giggle and laugh and go 'aww..', while Rahul kept cursing Nikki continuously as they commented on all the pictures and events that were catalogued in what was Nikki's legendary tale but his book of shame..
Riddhima however was completely oblivious to everything that was going on around her, even the oohing and aahing ladies who couldn't stop gushing as they watched Nikki's version of her adventurous school life. There were lots of pictures of Nikki and her friends at school, class photographs in uniform that were taken every year, photos of their annual day events with Nikki and her friends winning awards for their hard work, the school concerts, sports days and so much more, almost playing out the events that had occurred in those ten years of her life. But what made Riddhima most interested was the fact that Armaan was a major part of her important events. Rahul was also there in parts. But Armaan certainly featured much more. And he was mostly grinning impishly at the camera in all of them making it look like he was up to something. Even in his class photos he was always busy making devil horns on someone's head or laughing like a maniac when all his classmates gave their classic smiles. She noticed the decrease in the chub of his cheeks and the increase in his height as the years passed by, but his expressions remained the same. And of course he looked as handsome and cute in all of them as he did today. There was one picture that Nikki had tagged as 'Bloody Scholar' which had a collage of photos marked with different years from when they were in grade one to grade ten, each showing Armaan with a General Proficiency trophy in his hand and Nikki with a bunch of certificates that she didn't seem to care about much. Nikki had mentioned there how they were taken by her parents after every annual day event and she assumed they would do that to torture her about how Armaan was smarter than her. Riddhima laughed at a fifteen year old Nikki's remarks. She so wanted to read everything in detail. But Muskaan and her mom were so impatient they kept prodding her to turn the page over when they were done commenting on them. While Muskaan spent more time on the pictures that had Rahul in them, her attention was obviously most held by Armaan. They quickly flipped through the pictures that had only Nikki in them and tried to look for pictures that had all three of them together. There were lots of pictures of them together at school concerts, plays, sports events etc. Riddhima found the one where Armaan had played Prince Charming and giggled at how cute he looked wearing lipstick! Rahul was a tree in that one and Nikki looked like a cross between a rabbit and a goat. Just as she was done laughing about that one, another picture caught her attention. According to Nikki's record it was taken when they were in the sixth standard at a fancy dress competition that had been organized in their school. It was a picture of Nikki standing between Armaan and Rahul in their school uniforms with the ties and blazers et. al. Nikki was wearing a wild curly wig, Armaan was in glasses and Rahul had a confused smile on his face, not knowing what expression to give as they were holding short wooden sticks in their hands while posing for the picture. Riddhima didn't need to read the tags on the photo to recognize the crazy Potter mania, with Nikki dressed as Hermione, Rahul as Ron and Armaan as Harry with those round-rimmed glasses on his nose. Apparently the first Harry Potter book had released in that year and had driven them crazy behind 'The Boy who Lived ' and his wizarding world. So much that Nikki had written an entire account of how she used to draw comparisons between the three of them and the three best friends in the book.
"Oye Ridzi page palat na..", she heard Muskaan's voice and reluctantly turned the page over controlling her urge to read through all that Nikki had written.
They saw a few more photos of Nikki's frenemies and how she had bitched about them but was going to miss them anyway. Then there were a lot of pictures of Nikki's birthdays that they used to celebrate together coz they were in boarding school. Her parents would come over and take all their classmates out for ice cream or organize a party at the boarding itself. Riddhima realized that Armaan was almost missing from most of these pictures. Then it hit her that he was absent for all her birthdays since she turned ten. She remembered Armaan telling her how he would never want to celebrate people's birthdays as it reminded him of how lonely he was. But she couldn't hold onto that painful thought for long, as Muskaan turned over to the next section where there were pictures of Armaan and Rahul in red jerseys holding trophies with triumphant smiles and Nikki grinning with them in her cheerleader costume. These were tagged 'The Basketball Champs' with the information about every tournament they'd won mentioned below each picture. These were probably taken when they were in high school. Armaan and Rahul both looked tall and lanky like they had a sudden over night growth spurt while Nikki was looking hot in her Cheerleader costume. Riddhima was surprised to find that she was the captain of the cheerleading squad. After a few more pictures of them with the basket ball team and the cheerleaders, came the final section of the book that was marked 'Queen of Hearts'. It had photos of their school social at the end of the tenth grade. Socials were the desi version of the American concept of the prom night where the graduating students would get a chance to formally socialize with the opposite sex. They were mostly held just before the preparation leave (PL) for the board exams started. The very first photo was of Armaan wearing a smart dark gray suit and Nikki in a very pretty black dress standing together and smiling at the camera. Nikki was wearing a tiara that suggested she had won the award for the night which was quite clear by the sash of 'Queen of Hearts'that she was wearing. But there was a note in brackets under the picture that read 'The king refuses to wear his crown'. That's when Riddhima noticed the metallic crown with fake stones in Armaan's hand which he was unsuccessfully trying to hide from the camera. He was evidently embarrassed by the title he had been given for the night. Riddhima smiled as she thought of Armaan and Nikki all dressing up for the socials. How she wished she was there. She wondered if he would have asked her out instead of Nikki if she had been there. But that thought went flying out the window the moment she went on to see the next picture where Armaan was close dancing with his date for the night, and much to her displeasure it wasn't Nikki!! It was some other hot looking chick that Nikki had tagged as Payal with a note under it that read 'What did he see in her !! x-('. As she saw a few more pictures of him and his date smiling at the camera, she thought of his intern Payal who was recently trying to hit on him and the one in the picture who he was holding like she would fall if he let go, she couldn't help but curse all the Payals in the world, making up her mind to hate every girl who was this bitch's namesake! Apart from that there were lots of pictures of Nikki and Rahul together. Nikki had mentioned how he had asker out and she couldn't say no coz he was her friend though she really wanted to go with Mayank who she had been crushing on for more than a year. Muskaan had laughed like a maniac at that point and Rahul had gone redder around his ears than he already was while finding an escape into the kitchen under the pretext of wanting to drink water.
On the last page of the book was a large photo of Armaan and Rahul in their school uniforms with their blazers and prefect badges. It was apparenly taken at what Nikki called the instillation ceremony. She had tagged it as 'My Best Friends' and below the picture she had very cheekily written, 'Every Legendary Character needs the supporting side kicks'. But as an after thought she had added further in brackets, 'But I have to admit, they made school worth all the trouble!'.
Riddhima smiled as she read that and then looked at the picture again, mostly looking at Armaan. Her eyes almost prickled with tears as she looked on, while her mom, Muskaan and Nikki discussed how handsome Rahul and Armaan looked in it. But she wasn't listening to them. She had hardly been listening to any of their comments. She was just overwhelmed at what she was seeing, all her attention focused only on that one person who was most important to her. Nikki would never know what she had given her by showing her this. No one would ever know what she felt when she saw what she had just seen. Unlike everyone around her, she had not given in a single comment, nor had she oohed and aahed at the pictures like them. For her this was worth so much more. It was almost like she had lived through the time that Nikki had captured in these pages, imagining her Armaan live this life. She had almost lived through these memories with him, seeing a side of his life that she could have never been able to imagine even from what all he had told her about it. She somehow felt like she was a step closer to knowing him for what he really was. But there was just one thing she was disappointed about. None of these pictures gave her even a glimpse of Armaan's mom and dad. She had basically asked Nikki for his childhood photos in the hope that she would at least in one of them spot his parents. But that wasn't meant to be. But it was a small disappointment compared to the magnitude of happiness this little experience had given her. She was so glad Nikki had utilized her vacations doing this almost a decade ago. It was just brilliant and she wanted to go through it all over again. But she wanted to read everything in peace which she wouldn't get with so many people around her, "Nikki.. Please can I keep this for tonight.. Main kal subah tujhe wapas kar dungi..", she requested to Nikki as Nandini and Muskaan were discussing more stories about Rahul's childhood.
Nikki smiled as she saw that happy glint in Riddhima's eyes. She had called her up this morning and asked her if she could have breakfast with her. And though she had been surprised she had gladly invited her over. When she had come home she had seemed troubled by something. And she had tried hard to hide her disappointment when she had told her that she didn't have Armaan's childhood photos that she had come for. But she could see through her pretence. It was quite obvious. So she had pacified her by telling her that she would request her mom to scan the photos and mail them to her. But that would certainly take long. So when she had gone home this evening she had tried to look if by chance she had any of their school photos. And while on that hunt, she had come across this book of hers. She had spent a lot of time going over it and also showed it to Abhi. She had made up her mind to give it to Riddhima the first thing next morning. But she was way too excited to wait. Luckily for her, Abhi had to go to Sanjeevni for an emergency and so she requested him to drop her off at the Guptas on his way. She had been a little embarrassed initially to barge in uninvited at the late hour, but now as she looked at Riddhima's expression she realized it was all worth it. And she was ready to let her keep this priced possession of hers for as long as she wanted. She nodded her head in assent at Riddhima's expectant request and saw the smile on her face brighten as she hugged the book tight, as if wanting to keep it forever.
"Riddhima.. I'm leaving.. It's late.. But before I leave I need to talk to you.. Its important.. Do you mind..", Armaan's cold expressionless voice turned her attention to him for the first time since Nikki's revelation. She looked at him, a little scared at the way his angry eyes were boring into hers, fearing his reaction now. Everyone around them had stopped talking when they had heard his voice. It almost sounded like it was the first time he had said something this evening. He had waited patiently for Riddhima to notice him all this while but she had not looked at him even after she was done looking at Nikki's good-for-nothing book. He couldn't believe she was so lost in his past that she didn't think about the present at all. Riddhima looked around at everyone, when Armaan refused to take the glare off her, then answered him with a small nod, not daring to utter a word. Armaan wished Padma mom a dry 'good night' and started walking towards the door even before Riddhima could get up from the couch where she had been comfortably seated with Nikki's book of memories in her lap. She kept the book on the center table and nervously looked at everyone before making her way out to the parking, hoping and praying that Armaan understands why she did all this. But her heart told her that she was heading in for some major trouble.
Armaan had already made his way towards his car, by the time Riddhima had made it to the door. She stepped out into the cool night air dreading her fate as she slowly approached him.
Armaan watched her come slowly towards him, his temper rising every moment as he thought of how she had tried to dig up old graves and that too by keeping him in the dark. All he could think of was the pictures that he just had the glimpse of, reminding him of a life that he had lived through but had erased it from his own memory. At least he had tried to.. And had remained successful thus far. But he was frustrated that his recent confrontation with Juhi had brought back all of it to him that he had worked so hard to forget. And while he had put it past himself for the sake of Riddhima, she herself was going around trying to make him remember what he badly wanted to forget all over again!!
But he didn't want to lose his temper and yell at her like he had done the night before the last. So he waited for her to say something that may calm him down.
But Riddhima was waiting for Armaan to start yelling at her. So she just waited in silence adding to his annoyance.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on, or will I really have to ask?", he finally asked her coldly when he lost his patience.
His stern voice hurt her a little, but it was justifiable after the way she had behaved. She wished things wouldn't have happened the way they did. Only if she had gotten enough time to think this through and make a plan. So that she could make him understand. But today was a day of mistiming. Everything was happening in the wrong order today. Presented by this challenge to face him unprepared, she took in a deep breath before answering him calmly, "I can explain Armaan..", her nervous voice caught his attention. But today he was too irritated to notice her discomfort, "Then please do Riddhima! I'm waiting..", his voice rose a little when he didn't get his answers from her.
"Armaan I was just.. I was trying to.. ", but she didn't know how to frame it.. She herself ddin't know what she was trying to do. But her stutter was the last straw for Armaan who lost his patience completely, "Trying to what Riddhima!! Why are you trying to be such a detective!! Last night you were crying like someone had died!! Today morning you go looking for my childhood photographs.. Then you avoid me like I'm the one who's troubling you!! What exactly are you bloody trying to do!!!"
"I don't know what I am trying to do Armaan!! I don't know.. All I know is that I need to do something to make you feel better.. I need to find out an answer to your problem.. I need to make the pain go away.. And I cant do anything.. I cant!!! ", his raised voice made her recoil, leading to this outburst as she gave in to her frustrated tears.
But Armaan wasn't paying so much attention to the tears today. In fact what she said only made him more angry, "Are you serious Riddhima! Is this what all this is about! You are trying to make me forget my pain by reminding me about my past! That is your brilliant plan! Wow! Amazing!!", he sarcastically said, not giving her a chance. But when he was done, she tried to put forth her view again, "Armaan.. You're not getting it.. You need to let out that pain.. You need to face it.. ", she softly tried to explain through her tears, telling him all that she had thought about last night.
But Armaan was way too angry to understand anything, "You don't tell me what I need to do Riddhima!! In fact you don't need to do anything at all.. I am perfectly fine!"
"You can keep saying that Armaan. But it wont change the fact that you are not fine.. No you are not! You've locked up that pain in you and carry it around as a souvenir of your past.. And that hurts you.. Normal people get over their grief after a while! Its been seventeen years and till today every mention of your mom hurts you like she just left you yesterday. That is not normal Armaan..", she told him all that she had managed to analyze but had not got the right opportunity to explain to him.
But like always, the mere mention of his mom set Armaan off, "Enough Riddhima!! This conversation is over!", he said in a menacing whisper, glaring her down as he tried to get in his car and escape. But before he could make any move Riddhima found the courage to stop him, "No its not!! I am not letting this go Armaan.. Not this time!! You have to get over it.. You have to accept the fact.. That is a part of your life.. Whether you like it or not.. You cannot erase it from your life.. ", she said in a soft tone, but each word of hers resounding loud and clear. He didn't look at her, unable to match the determination in her eyes, but jerked his hand out of her grip as he answered, "I already have Riddhima.. I already have erased it! Don't try to open old wounds.. Please..", he tried to calm himself down, but his voice was still raised.
Sensing his weakness, Riddhima jumped at the opportunity as she tried to make her point again, "No Armaan.. You haven't erased it. You cant erase it.. That is why every mention of your past hurts you! Tum apne past se bhaag rahe ho.. Isliye it hurts you even today to think about it.. Its time you accept it and move on Armaan..", she almost pleaded him through her eyes and her raised voice.
"I am not running from anything Riddhima.. I have accepted it.. And don't make me sound like a some psycho..", he seethed, glaring at her this time. Did she think he was some kind of a retard who didn't understand what he was doing!
But she wasn't convinced. She had spent an entire night thinking over this and was more or less sure of what she was talking about. Though she didn't have a solution, at least she had figured out the problem. And she was convinced about it enough to challenge him, "Armaan if you have moved on then why did you not tell me about your Delhi house. Why does every mention of your parents hurt you so much.. I can see it in your eyes every time you talk about your mom Armaan.. Every time you talk about dad I can see that wish in your eyes that he was here with us..Why are you keeping them away from your life Armaan.. Why are you making them a reason for your sorrow.. Unhe apni khushiyon mein shamil karo Armaan.. Don't you want them to be a part of you happiness.. "
"Just shut up Riddhima!! Just Shut up!!!", it had become too much for him to take! Why the hell was she doing this to him!!
"No I am not going to shut up.. Bohot ho gaya. You have to face the truth today.. And the truth is that you're just scared.. Tumhe lagta hain sacchayi ka samna karne se tum unhe kho doge.. Ya tumhe itna dard hoga ki tum seh nahi paoge.. But you're wrong Armaan.. You need to bring them in your life.. You need to accept the past for what it is and include it in your life as a part of it.. Tum jitna bhi chaho apni life ke uss hisse ko kaat kar phenk nahi sakte..", she confronted him, no holds bar. But it did nothing but aggravate the situation even more, "You don't know what you're talking Riddhima.. You don't have a f**king clue as to what your saying!!"
"Really Armaan.. Then why isn't there a single photograph of your mom or dad with you.. Tumhare paas apne mom dad ki ek bhi photo nahi hai Armaan.. Mujhe unke naam ke alava aur kucch nahi pata unke baare mein.. Tumne mujhe unke baare mein bataya hi kya hai Armaan.. "
"Riddhima why is that so important.. ", he asked her, angry at all her claims and opinions that sounded more like accusations.
But she had her match point. She had a cogent argument to support her and she wasn't going to back out, "It is important to me Armaan.. Please try and understand.. I cant see you in pain every time something about your family is mentioned.. Mujhe bhi takleef hoti hai.. And beside that, like you are a part of my family I am also a part of yours.. And you can deny all you want you cannot run away from the fact that they are your family.."
"They were my family! They were.. They do not exist Riddhima.. And I cannot do anything about it.. I cannot bring them back.. I wish I could.. I could kill if there was a way.. But I cannot.. ", he looked at her, a sharp maddening look in his eyes as he spoke about them. She softened her stance at the look in his eyes. She could never bear that pain. She wanted to take it away.. She wanted to make it disappear.. But he just wouldn't listen to her, "You can Armaan.. If you just give them a chance to come back into your life.. They will..", she told him almost in a whisper, caressing his face as her tears gushed out of her eyes.
But that wasn't enough to convince Armaan. In fact it made him even more angry at her and at himself, "No they wont! They wont Riddhima.. Your stupid philosophies are nothing but trash talk!! You think you're so smart.. Using these big words Riddhima.. I am scared of facing the truth.. And I need to let go of my pain.. And I need to accept my past for what it is! Its all just bullshit!! You think I like to keep my pain as a souvenir!! Do you even know what pain is!! Do you even know how much of it I've faced in the bloody sixteen years that I've been alone.. You don't have a clue Riddhima!! You don't have a f**king clue as to what pain is.. And you will never know!! Never ever..", Riddhima was so stunned by what he was saying that even her tears stopped flowing out of her eyes. The way he was looking straight into her eyes, so convinced that what he was saying was right. And he did sound right. But she didn't dare challenge him. Armaan looked away when she didn't say anything, then looked back at her as angry tears started to pour out of his eyes, his voice barely audible as he tried to control his emotions, "Riddhima you will never know what it feels like for a ten year old to see his mom not open her eyes.. And know that she's never going to open them again.. To know that she's never going to talk to him again. You'll never know what it means to not have a home to go back to.. To know that no one in this whole world gives a damn as to whether you exist or no.. You will never know what it feels like to lose the only two people who loved you in your life.. No you wont.. And trust me, you don't want to know!! Riddhima the only reason I run away from all the pain is because that's the only way I can deal with it.. The only way that I can stay sane Riddhima is by pretending that I am happy.. The only reason I am what I am today is because I pretended that nothing was wrong with my life.. How is a ten year old supposed to deal with so much Riddhima!!!.. You tell me! How is a ten year old supposed to understand that he's wrong in keeping his pain inside when he didn't have anyone to talk to.. How is he supposed to know that he's supposed to let the f**king pain go.. And not keep it as a.. What did you say.. Souvenir.. And not keep it as a freakin souvenir.. He just wanted to forget all that had happened to him Riddhima. He just wanted to have a normal life like others around him had.."
Riddhima leaned back on the car for support as she saw those pain filled eyes bore into hers. And she was blank.. She didn't have anything to say.. All she knew was that there was a terrible unbearable pain somewhere in her heart and still she knew that it was nowhere near what he was going through while saying what he had said. She just stood there like a statue, realizing how wrong she had been in her stupid quest to find answers to a problem that was unsolvable. If anything, she had just made it worse for him. And that hurt her even more.
Armaan's tears didn't stop, blurring his vision as he felt that pain again. He wanted it to stop. He wanted it to go away. But he knew it was going to hurt him for sometime before the numbness takes over. He needed to get away.. He couldn't talk about it anymore.. And Riddhima's tears weren't helping him soothe the pain at all, "Riddhima I'm really sorry ki meri wajah se tumhe itni takleef hoti hai.. I'm sorry but I cant change that.. You cant take this pain away whatever you do.. You'll just have to accept me for the way I am.. Or just let me go.. ", Riddhima felt her heart shatter in a million pieces when she heard him say that. How could he! But she didn't have the energy to react to it at all. So she just stood there and continued to listen to what he was saying, "Coz I cant let go of the pain Riddhima.. Its just too much for me to handle.. I've tried.. I try every day to forget it.. But I cant.. And it will never go.. But I've learnt how to deal with it.. You tell me when your ready to deal with it.. Till then.. I need some time alone..", he told her, trying to control the tears that weren't ready to stop. He unlocked the door of the car, ready to get in, when what he had said registered in Riddhima's brain. If there was one thing she couldn't do was leave him alone. No she couldn't, "Armaan.. Ruko.. Please..", she tried to plead. But he made his plea too, "Please Riddhima.. Let me go.. Please.." And the way he looked at her, his eyes pleading her for some time on his own, she didn't have the courage to stop him. She just let go of his hand as he got behind the wheel and without looking at her zoomed out of the gate, as if in a hurry to run away as fast as possible, as further as possible, from anything that made him feel the way he was feeling right now.
Riddhima shut her eyes tight unable to watch him leave, as the tears started to gush out again, she had nothing and no one to support her. She didn't know how she landed herself in this mess. But it wasn't her pain that had her worried, it was the pain she had unknowingly given him tonight. Why! Why did she have to think so much! Why did she have to find a solution to everything. Why couldn't she just accept the fact that some problems do not come with solution and the only way to deal with them is to accept them the way they are. That's when she realized that she had been wrong all along. It was her and not Armaan who was running away from accepting the truth. She wished she had realized this earlier. It would have saved him all the pain she had given him. The very pain she was trying to save him from.
Armaan on the other hand sped onto the highway, not knowing where he was going. All he wanted to do was get away. Get away from his own life all over again. He didn't want to get lost in that maze of pain again. Coz for him, the only way to deal with it was to runaway from it, pretend it didn't exist, take himself back to a place where he was comfortably numb...
It's Easier To Run - Linkin Park
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone...
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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