Originally posted by: MistyDawn
The only reason I can think of for the lack of depth in emotions from his side, is the fact that he has not known or understood Pallavi the way she has.. Pallavi knows about his past, the trauma he had to go through growing up, first losing his nana and lil brother and then being subject to constant hatred and condemnation by what was left of his family.. she connected to his pain because she is a naturally empathetic person..plus the fact that he showed genuine regret and efforts to rectify his mistakes..Raghav on the other hand has no clue of her past and he is not even feeling the urge to dig into her past like she did.. His priorities have been to apologise and set things right for her for the way he wronged her.. now that's out out of the way, he is grateful that she forgave him, accepted him, trusted him when no one did..and he know he needs her, hence the panic when Amma suggested to let her go.. but beyond that he hasn't progressed..he is emotionally stunted. He needs a heavy jolt to realize her value and he definitely needs to know her past.. The next track on Mandhar is gearing towards that hopefully..
While I don't think people should dwell on or live in the past, it's important to understand it in order to build a better future.
Raghav is generally a good judge of character and thought he had figured Pallavi out, so the first jolt came when he discovered she was a widow and that there was this whole other side to her that he was unaware of. He only knows bits and pieces about Mandaar and her upbringing as an orphan. He had heard about her being an orphan during the abortion fiasco but never bothered to investigate - hawa mein filter kar diya and all that. He knows that there's a pending discussion about her past, and will get to it once this Keerti-Sunny fiasco is over. The problem is, I feel bits of her past will be exposed to him in a way that catches him off guard, before he's had time to hear her or Ayi's version of it or even the full story, and this will leave him ill-equipped not just to understand and support her, but also defend himself in the mess that's going to ensue with accusations of murder.
I know there are differing opinions on Raghav's stance regarding this marriage, but the lack of depth is in part because of him not thinking of the broader implications of this relationship. It is also because they still have a long way to go on properly communicating with each other as a couple, not just about current events but also about a shared vision as a couple on how they want to build their future. That has just not happened but is essential for their marriage. They have gone from solving one problem to the next, always on the move, not having a moment to pause. These 30-day challenges don't help either because it makes them focus on tactical short-term moves, not long-term strategic ones.
Raghav has never been in family settings over the past decade, not just his own but in general. Hence Jaya's surprise and comment about seeing him at Mansi's wedding festivities. He doesn't have females working in his core team, he is surrounded by bachelors whose emotions he isn't always sensitive to either. He loves and cares for Farhad, confides in him more than he does in anyone else, but doesn't always treat him very well. It's only because Farhad is so mature and understanding that their dynamic works. Raghav has yet to understand how to deal with these dynamics. If you look at it, he is now in a position where he has to learn that relationships need work on a continuous basis, blood relation or otherwise. He is now in the role of a son, brother, and husband, dealing with women who are different from one another yet similar in many ways. Their wants and needs are different, as are their expectations from him. A one-size-fits-all approach won't work here and he cannot timebox his interactions or focus with each of them. He needs to able to do things in parallel. That should help him grow and I know he will.
I think the next phase indeed will focus on Pallavi and us getting a better understanding of what makes her the way she is today. Along the way, Raghav will start to see her vulnerabilities and wounds up close. I mean, after everything he did to her, barring the maar dalo mujhe Raghav moment, she has been standing strong and dealing with one blow after the other. He saw her get up and fight every single time. Even when he tried to fight with the Deshmukhs for her rights, she stopped him and fought for his dignity instead. When she went all quiet on him after the wedding, he couldn't stand it, he couldn't handle that atmosphere either. I am guessing she was quiet on the way back from Sunny's which is why he noticed and commented on her change in mood.
People like Pallavi are seen as strong and resilient, who know how to help themselves, and because such people rarely ask for help, others think they are managing things just fine no matter what storm must be raging inside them. I am one of those people too, so I can identify with this not-so-good trait. Raghav is equally good at reading silences as he is at interpreting people's words. He needs to get into the habit of doing so with Pallavi as well.
Edited by inlieu - 4 years ago
Seher Hone Ko Hai
