Originally posted by: briti_asfiya
I still don't want to live. Don't say this to Alexu Di. But suicide is not something you can pre plan, kyunki execute kabhi nahi ho payega that way. But jeene ki iccha khatam ho gayi hai totally. I try to distract myself here, but I know it's a charade, and I won't be able to pull it off for long.
I know I'm jumping between personal stuff but please listen.
I'm saying this as someone who have survived through very bad stuffs. When you think that you have hit the rock bottom, there is no reason for you to live please think about the people who already loves you. Yes I'm talking about your family.
If you give up on life you are betraying those people who have you life. I'm not saying I know what your family condition is but please for a moment think with a clear head, think about the happy moments you have spent with them, think about the sleepless nights your mother might have spent worrying about you, father's usually doesn't speak about the emotional stuff but his eyes always searches their children's wondering 'are they happy? Have i done enough? What else can I do for them?'
Maybe you won't understand this now but if something happens to you it will kill them. If you think losing friend and they are betrayal is the worst kind of pain then you couldn't be more wrong. No pain in this world could be as painful as losing a child.
Distractions are just distractions, they are not permanent. Always remember no friend can be as trustworthy as your mother or your siblings, the permanent figures in your life. You don't have to tell them anything, just try to bond with them, talk to them about silly things, important things, listen to their point of views.
Most importantly you have to learn to love yourself. No it's not selfish, you need to find the strength to rebuild yourself so strongly that no one can break you. If you have to cling to the people around you then do it. Trust me they will be happy to be there for you.
Find the spirit to fight and your enemy is your depression. This is not the end of the world, you can fight it. Everyone goes through rough patches in their lives and when we overcome it we learn to see the world in a new light. Everything becomes clearer, you can breath freely, smile fully and trust me it's worth the fight.
Anupamaa
