Originally posted by: buttercups2020
I don't know how to start and where to start. This is the weirdest kind of connection I have felt in my entire life , to literally feel physical hurt for a boy who I have never met. A boy so young, so full of life, so lovable and so empathetic.
I don't know what happened on 14th of june. And nor do I have the heart anymore to know. I am being unabashedly unapologetic about it. What killed him won't change the fact that he is no more.
I am a woman, and I believe we have the strongest instincts. I trust my instincts and I am going to hold on to it. Irrespective of how old I am, the kind of affection that I have felt for him, was motherly and I could see through gradual killing of the light from his eyes.
You, my boy have said you were happy while you promoted chichore, I want to believe you. But what do I do about the constant nag I feel about your discomfort? How do I now unsee the pain your eyes reflected? How your dreams were shred and tattered by the vultures who fed on your innocence!
I know sushant, you were cornered and nothing can convince me otherwise. How do I let go of that intentional digs and taunts and laughs thrown upon you?
How dare they make you feel any less? I wish I could tell you how exceptionally brilliant you were Sush. How dare they make you feel you weren't worthy of being a friend? I wish you knew you had well-wishers outside that black hole.
The first shot in Kai Po Che, when Ishaan's eyes were captured, a star had arrived. Those eyes held so much aspirations, so much desire and so much want of doing wonders. How freakin dare they take away that shine?
You yearned for love my boy. I could feel it. Don't ask me how, but I could just sense it. How dare they hurt you where you were most vulnerable? They made your heart bleed and all you did was , let go.
You never rose from there, did you? You weren't the same after March 2019 Sushant. And I blame you too. How did you let them convince you anything about yourself?
They are saying you were an addict Sush. I don't believe them. I believe in what I understand of yoy. How could you not believe in yourself?
They took away your passion, they snatched your well deserved work, they ridiculed you for falling in love, and they crushed your dreams.
They killed you without even holding a gun and when you probably gave up, they called you a weak coward.
Tell me sushant. How is this any less evil than actually pulling the trigger? How do I ever forgive them who broke you every single day of your life till you couldn't take anymore, if I do believe for a second that you killed yourself?
You, my Abhimanyu, were lynched in a Chakravyuh and I am never going to forget it.