Yeh Rishtey Hai Pyaar Ke Live Updates/EDT 01 Sep 2020 - Page 46

Originally posted by: angelfire78

Uru I agree with you about BM constantly being on the defensive for Mishti and I really don't think it is the true that for her Kuhu and Mishti are the same. They seem to have way more expectations from Mishti than Kuhu, and we don't see them praising Kuhu as they do Mishti either. But why shouldn't she call Mishti to ask where they were? Would Varsha not do the same for Kuhu? Are you trying to make the point that BM wouldn't do the same if it was Kuhu? But why would she when Varsha or Jasmeet would do it and she could just ask her?

Oh I agree. As I mentioned in response to Pali's post, Varsha/Jasmeet/Kuhu are quick to realize Kunal's position only because of how they feel towards Mishti.

Oh they'll all figure out pretty soon I guess.

I think that Varsha should not bother what BP and BP thinking as far as equality is concerned as they themselves are not quite sure about it. Another thing is Varsha might feel that Kuhu is not fully accepted and not given importance in mahs house as not being her real daughter and shaurya mistake. So she might be thinking that Kunal might also feel the same thing in his household. As you said, mishti might be even another logic. The thing is both girls are still consider themselves as outsider more than insiders in mahs home. When the things repeats in RVs home, Varsha and Kuhu's fear and insecurities comes alone. Kunal and Abir biggest plus is they had easy childhood because of Meenu compared to these girls where both had different sufferings and needs, parents are themselves confused souls and they never helped the girls to come out of their insecurities but Kunal and Abir are confident human beings as Meenu guided them well.

I’m again gonna reference the show This is us...

a young white couple has triplets.. 1 new born dies.. and the couple adopts a blacK baby that someone had abandoned... The couple raises the 3 kids with lots of love n devotion... gradually the layers are peeled... and they show instances from the couples adopted black son perspective... where he sees perfect parents, a bully brother, etc.... then we see the same instances from the couple’s biological sons perspective ... and you see that the parents are partial... and the adopted son has hogged all the attention and the biological son is left high n dry

now.. as per the parents they were trying to make the adopted black son comfortable n loved.. in that process they neglected the other son... but in their mind n heart.. they were not biased or partial... and they loved them all equally...

In the case of yrhpk.... The above holds true somewhat but not completely as kuhu has her support system in the form of her parents n jasmeet... so to maintain the balance in the family BM/ BP kind of give mishti priority... so that things are not skewed

imagine BM/ BP also prioritizing kuhu.. then toh mishti ka kya hota...

and as far as not calling out jasmeet n kuhu, in a joint family there are some limitations... jasmeet wraps everything in the mazaak.. and gets away with these insults

just my thoughts about BM and varsha... nowhere im trying to make it mishti vs kuhu... that their parents have already done quite successfully

Originally posted by: Appu1981

I’m again gonna reference the show This is us...

a young white couple has triplets.. 1 new born dies.. and the couple adopts a blacK baby that someone had abandoned... The couple raises the 3 kids with lots of love n devotion... gradually the layers are peeled... and they show instances from the couples adopted black son perspective... where he sees perfect parents, a bully brother, etc.... then we see the same instances from the couple’s biological sons perspective ... and you see that the parents are partial... and the adopted son has hogged all the attention and the biological son is left high n dry

now.. as per the parents they were trying to make the adopted black son comfortable n loved.. in that process they neglected the other son... but in their mind n heart.. they were not biased or partial... and they loved them all equally...

In the case of yrhpk.... The above holds true somewhat but not completely as kuhu has her support system in the form of her parents n jasmeet... so to maintain the balance in the family BM/ BP kind of give mishti priority... so that things are not skewed

imagine BM/ BP also prioritizing kuhu.. then toh mishti ka kya hota...

and as far as not calling out jasmeet n kuhu, in a joint family there are some limitations... jasmeet wraps everything in the mazaak.. and gets away with these insults

just my thoughts about BM and varsha... nowhere im trying to make it mishti vs kuhu... that their parents have already done quite successfully

So.you are saying that all of Kevin's issues are because he felt he was neglected? It has nothing to do with his not so great career or his not so great love life or his inability to keep a relationship or his drinking? And all of Kate's issues are not because she felt she was never as pretty as her mother? But let's forget that Randall worked really hard and has the good house and good job (until he was fired)

Kevin might have held a lot against Randall as a kid but they aren't enemies.

Randall's wife likes the fact that Kevin talks to her kids like they are people.

Unless I am watching a different This Is Us.

BM/BP did really well with Akshara. Varsha did really well with Ananya. Ananya considered Naira her sister. Never did I see any jealousy there.

So why aren't we applauding their previous parenting styles but picking on how wrong they are with Kuhu and Mishti?

Sometimes i feel Mishti should just take Abir and go back go her real grandmother. She needs to ask her some Qs and get some answers. Ask her why Naira's issues seem more important to her than her own grandchild's?

Originally posted by: Onyourface

Pali I don't know why this topic is pushed into mishti v kuhu but ...did you read the whole convo...because I know you are much better than this

I know you will understand this that's why I am explaining it to you , we were strictly talking about how BM and varsha reacted today , it has nothing to do with mishti and kuhu here....

The fact that kuhu doesn't get called out and mishti is blamed forever is itself an injustice and it's a Pratha going on in mahs family and BM and BP are silent on that for years and sometimes even a party to that ....this very fact makes BM arguement that we treat girls equally goes void right...

Being treated as 2nd class citizens in your own family is wrong, whether it was mishti in mahs or it iis kuhu in RVs .I feel more bad for kunal here

But the topic of discussin was about how BM brushed it off saying it's all equal when varsha wasn't even blaming mishti , she was actually blaming meenu and her treatment

Please I request to all the forum members out here , don't make it mishti vs kuhu unnecessarily, we have grown from that long back I guess

Oh, I haven't read any conversation and had no idea you guys were discussing a bigger topic. LU thread hai toh you just pick up from any point and join.

I haven't watched last few episodes so I can't participate in the larger discussion anyway.

I understand your point, and agree it shouldn't always be about Kuhu v/s Mishti.

...but I also feel that if it was a broad discussion about BM, Varsha and their parenting ups and downs then it is not possible to do so without keeping the girls, their equation and how the are treated by the family in mind. Also, I fail to understand why people equate grandparents duty with the parents and have same expectations from both!

Anyways, if the discussion was strictly about a particular event in the episode then am sorry, didn't meant to barge in, just happened to see Appu's post and so I replied. Don't have any opinions on a scene from the episode since I haven't watched it.

The only thing I would like to share here is about the 2nd class citizen thing:

Agreed, no one should be treated like a 2nd class citizen in your own home.

But the fact is, Mishti gets treated like a rag in both Mah (except BM-BP) and RV house. And we have normalized it in our minds. Aam si baat hai.

As for Kunal, we all have felt it in our hearts that Meenu loves Abir more. But she has not openly favored one over the other so far... she gets equally happy to have both of them around and have equally screwed both to get her way. But I know now with the real heir thing, her preference is coming out... and that will affect Kunal and it will be unfair to him! And people will certainly sympathize with him.

Kuhu is not really treated like a 2nd class citizen at all in RV house and in fact gets a lot of love and respect. Unless if things have suddenly changed in the last 3 episodes and they want us to now believe that Kuhu was treated badly in RV house. So people will sympathize with her too.

Anyways, I guess I should just refrain from commenting till I catch up on all the episodes someday 😛

Though old habits die hard... when you feel it's a general discussion, you can't help but jump in.

If Varsha thinks it normal for her to worry about her daughter Kuhu’s future then why was she questioning BM about her need to call Mishti when Mishbir didn’t turn up for the puja? So Mishti is so unimportant in Varsha’s eyes that BM cannot even worry about her unexplained absence from a puja?

Originally posted by: pallavi25

If Varsha thinks it normal for her to worry about her daughter Kuhu’s future then why was she questioning BM about her need to call Mishti when Mishbir didn’t turn up for the puja? So Mishti is so unimportant in Varsha’s eyes that BM cannot even worry about her unexplained absence from a puja?

I am sharing my view and it might little biased too. I think that Varsha is telling a important concern about Kuhu's future which is quite true and BM brushes off and says its all Varsha's imagination and care less about Kuhu's future and says I give equal important to both. Varsha lost her patience and asks that she is calling Mishti right. I think she is expecting that BM might understand that she has more concern about Mishti and thats fine but BM needs to accept it well she is not gonna it as being delusional.

Another thing, BM's delusion is something else as Meenakshi was talking in demeaning manner and Varsha is the first one to ask about Mishti well beings and told Meenakshi that Abir will never make it happen. I am sure that Varsha have that confidence in Abir as visually sees that Abir care for Mishti more. Well will she say the same thing for Kunal as she knows Kunal first priority is Abir, Mom,family and Kuhu. Varsha concern is not only about property, priority in Rvs but also Kunal love and respect to Kuhu. Thats why Varsha is advising to focus on her life more but child competition is pathetic and its not a solution. Varsha made a huge mistake in child competition and its not required. I believe that Varsha is expecting some kind of honest opinion from BM.

Originally posted by: Appu1981

so true.. bang on

All instances like the doll house one show how bad kuhu must have felt ... but as someone said on this forum earlier there are always 3 sides to a story.. my side, your side and the truth... but why Always the writers show kuhu’s insecurities... and try to passively justify her behavior... she hardly gets called out... she get forgiven easily without even apologizing... and what is this mann ki saaf thing... bad behavior and bad deeds can never be justified... irrespective of how justified one’s insecurities be....

and what is this BP/BM ki galti ka alaap?? They must have seen injustice happening with mishti everyday therefore they want to protect her interests... basically it’s a visious cycle... but people keep blaming mishti, BP/BM... and abir....

Bold- my thoughts exactly... treat others the way you want to be treated...

Originally posted by: angelfire78

Agreed. The effect of years of bullying shows up when Mishti is at her lowest and has her calling herself names! And this is normalized in our show. They showed Kuhu looking remorseful when Mishti tells her she has her wish, but will that stop Kuhu from doing the same the next time around? So far it hasn't.

The worst was the latest magazine cover issue. Not one person spoke to both of them at the same time. Blame was apportioned equally, expectation was that MIshti will resolve the issue however. They felt let-down when the girls acted friendly and then accepted it happily when they helped each other out. That was the worst ever!!

I also never quite understood how being a parent and grandparent is one and the same. Kuhu had Varsha and BM was her dadi. Mishti had BM as her mom/dadi. I don't understand the expectation that they should be treated the same, but BM herself says she treats them the same, and that is misleading. Yeah, never understood why she should top Mish on Abir's priority list.

@bold - I remember that too. That level of pandering is something else!

I would say for Jas/Varsha/Kuhu, their fear for Kunal comes from how they feel about Mishti. Since they can't ever feel Mishti belongs, they assume RJVs will also never feel Kunal belongs. The way they are showing Meenu behave now will reinforce that. This is such a wrong message to send. I have no idea why they're doing this in the show.

@green

That is the issue with the show. No real remorse or reflection on Kuhu's part. And then they either show the sisters being too chummy or they justify her insecurities and deeds with token dialogues and scenes. And the cycle has been repeated so many times that the viewers know what to exactly expect!

And the worse part is we are so used to giving a long rope to Kuhu and bend over backwards to understand and accommodate her insecurities that we are now trying to justify them in whatever scenes and dialogues we can...

@Pink

Yes, just like BM-BP giving preferential treatment to Mishti caused Varsha to be more protective towards Kuhu and became a reason for Kuhu's insecurity is one possibility, Kuhu being insecure regarding Mishti and not accepting her from day 1 and Varsha being overprotective of her caused BM-BP to be more protective of Mishti is also an equally probable possibility!

They have shown how Varsha consciously tried to not get too close to Mishti! Also, she may not actively participate in Mishti bashing, but Jas gets away with a lot of ugly Mishti bashing in front of Varsha jo BM ke saamne nahin chalta.

So it is natural for BM to look out for Mishti.

And I too do not understand why people have the same kind of expectations from parents and grandparents! That is why I am saying if Mishti was legally adopted by BP-BM, she would have had a different position in the house!

@blue

I haven't seen the episode, so can't really comment on the scene.

But in general. while actively parenting, so many times we do not realize if we are doing something wrong or doing something that your children perceive as them being wronged.

BM may not have actively tried to differentiate between the two, so in her mind, she treats them equally. But subconsciously her preference is Mishti just like it's Kuhu for Varsha and not realize it.

@bold

Yeah, may be Jas/Varsha/Kuhu recognize the pattern since they are dishing out that treatment to Mishti day in and day out. It's like 2nd nature to them, so they don't mind Mishti being treated like that, but have issues when it comes to Kunal.

Well, the show sends out countless wrong messages, may be this one is with a purpose of teaching Kuhu her folly in treating Mishti badly all her life and get over her insecurities in the process?

Idk, I too am trying to make sense of things 😛

Mishti calling herself names is 👎🏼🤢

But I guess years of abuse and being called ugly duckling, behnji, you just exist but not needed, stray puppy dog etc.. takes a toll on a person no matter how strong they are. Your mind retains everything subconsciously even if you brush it off when being told...

So mishti getting love n priority in anyone's life is hypocrisy but kuhu getting love is her ryt???

Mishti can be treated in anyway it's ok because she should adjust as she is mature but kuhu getting treated anyway becomes wrong n injustice to her??

U get back what you do in this life time how varsha is treating mishti in mah house she is now going to get it back in d same way by how her daughter n SIL will be treated in samee way. U can't run away from ur karma!

One thing it's nly for varsha n her bad judgement dat kuhu got struck in fake marriage obviously along with kuhu's obsession. BP never believed bigben when she came with kunal rishta. He was against it. But varsha pleaded to make him agree. Dan he listened to dem as dey r her parents

Will now anyone blame varsha for ruining her own daughter life?? Or still blame BM n BP??

Originally posted by: Stardust91

So.you are saying that all of Kevin's issues are because he felt he was neglected? It has nothing to do with his not so great career or his not so great love life or his inability to keep a relationship or his drinking? And all of Kate's issues are not because she felt she was never as pretty as her mother? But let's forget that Randall worked really hard and has the good house and good job (until he was fired)

Kevin might have held a lot against Randall as a kid but they aren't enemies.

Randall's wife likes the fact that Kevin talks to her kids like they are people.

Unless I am watching a different This Is Us.

BM/BP did really well with Akshara. Varsha did really well with Ananya. Ananya considered Naira her sister. Never did I see any jealousy there.

So why aren't we applauding their previous parenting styles but picking on how wrong they are with Kuhu and Mishti?

Sometimes i feel Mishti should just take Abir and go back go her real grandmother. She needs to ask her some Qs and get some answers. Ask her why Naira's issues seem more important to her than her own grandchild's?

@bold - Mostly because a lot of us have not watched and do not watch PS, so we only comment on what is seen in the show.

Originally posted by: Stardust91

So.you are saying that all of Kevin's issues are because he felt he was neglected? It has nothing to do with his not so great career or his not so great love life or his inability to keep a relationship or his drinking? And all of Kate's issues are not because she felt she was never as pretty as her mother? But let's forget that Randall worked really hard and has the good house and good job (until he was fired)

Kevin might have held a lot against Randall as a kid but they aren't enemies.

Randall's wife likes the fact that Kevin talks to her kids like they are people.

Unless I am watching a different This Is Us.

BM/BP did really well with Akshara. Varsha did really well with Ananya. Ananya considered Naira her sister. Never did I see any jealousy there.

So why aren't we applauding their previous parenting styles but picking on how wrong they are with Kuhu and Mishti?

Sometimes i feel Mishti should just take Abir and go back go her real grandmother. She needs to ask her some Qs and get some answers. Ask her why Naira's issues seem more important to her than her own grandchild's?

I’m not saying all of Kevin’s or Kate’s issues were bcoz of his childhood..I’m saying if he felt neglected, whether that actually happened or not doesn’t make his insecurities unreal...

im not speaking here if what Kevin felt was right or wrong... he just felt it and as sad as it may be that he felt neglected, it was never jack or Rebecca’s intention to hurt Kevin. They have tried nothing but their best to give same amount of love to all the kids.

I have 2 boys, and I love them equally.. but sometimes you can’t help it but you have to take sides... a parent will support the kid Who needs more of their support...

So lets give BP/BM a break, instead of blaming kuhu’s insecurities on their upbringing