Thank you everyone for such overwhelming response. Before I start I would just say this is not just an ordinary story. Neither Maan nor Geet are perfect people here. they are both imperfect and here's a story of few people who are no where near perfects. This is the story of their flaws...their imperfections...their incompleteness. Do comment and press like. They inspire me to write better. In case anyone wants pm please add me as buddy.Awaiting your honest opinions.
Please stay safe everyone. Let's do everything that is in our power to help people who need it in these turbulent times. Take care everyone.
I know in my note I promised an update within a week and I am late again but there were some issues that took more time than I thought. I will try updating more regularly and I thank all of you for your love and support.
Part 37
A helping hand
Maan was on his way to pick Geet up from her college. Today is the day Geet is going to meet her father first time after he gained consciousness. Geet had called him up asking to pick her up. She couldn’t hide the slight tremble in her voice from his keen ears.
Despite that Maan was happy.Today Geet had approached him on her own volition for the first time. It was a progress. He knew that Geet was far from a place when she can accept his love but he was proud she took the first step forward.
Geet was waiting outside the college gate. She was wearing a saree and looked every part the lecturer she is. Maan was glad he witnessed another side of Geet. Geet sat on the passenger seat and put on the seat belt as he started the car.
“I hope Maan it was not too much trouble.”
Maan watched her. She was clearly uncomfortable asking a favor from him.
“Hey Geet chill Yaar!! “
“Wow! I never would have thought you speak such vocabulary Maan.”
“Well, Rey and Ann had a bit of influence on me.”
“Anyway, I… I knew I would not go and make excuses if I had to do this alone. I…”
“You feel you have done your duty now that your father is out of danger.”
“It’s more than that Maan.”
“Will you share with me?”
“My father did not protect me when I needed his protection. He didn’t protect me from my mother’s apathy. He didn't even stop me from leaving. I wouldn’t have stopped but it would have been nice to know that I am wanted. “
Maan was silent. Geet composed herself and continued.
“And now, years later, when I am finally coming face to face with my father I can’t even ask him the questions I want to ask because of his poor health. How is that fair Maan?”
“It is not fair Geet. But if anybody can do this, it’s you. I trust you to do the right thing. Be the bigger person. I am sure life will give you chance to ask your father whatever questions you have. “
“How can you trust me when even I can’t trust myself?”
“I am your friend Geet. I am here to believe in you when even you stop believing yourself. That’s what your friends are for Geet.”
The beaming smile of Geet made him smile in return.
“So tell me Geet how my favorite girl in whole world is doing?”
Geet chuckled at his description bit and watched him fondly.
“Muski is bit subdued. She is feeling bit cramped at our small flat and missing the garden you have. Our house in Darjeeling had enough space for her to run around. A small cramped upflat has little to offer her. I am trying to find a solution.”
“Oh! Yeah space in Mumbai is aluxury.”
“She will adjust. She has to.Meanwhile I am trying to find some alternative for her. Her schooling starts next month so she will be busy.”
“Everything done regarding her admission?”
“Yes. She did well with her test and personal interview. Since Dev and I are divorced and we stay in different city the school have made concession and are not asking for a personal interview with him as well. “
“Dev didn’t come?”
“After everything you heard about Dev you expected him to come? He is not that responsible a parent. I was the one handling Muskaan’s schooling back in Darjeeling as well. “
“I am sorry Geet. I… I just thought that Dev would be better father than he was a husband.”
“I am not being fair to him I guess. He did say this month he had some important work and he cannot leave Delhi.”
“Still… I understand business concerns and that sometimes you don’t get as much time for your family. But he should have made time for his daughter’s school admission. This is Muskaan’s education.That ought to be a priority for the parent.”
Maan suddenly realize that he was reacting to vehemently for a third party to the issue. He takes a deep breath and continues.
“Geet, I am sorry if I sound too forceful. It is just that Dev is so lucky to be blessed with a beautiful childlike Muskaan. There are many people out their who are daily praying to be blessed with a child and here he is not caring enough to be part of her life. “
“I guess Dev was not ready to have a child.”
“Oh?”
“You are curious aren’t you?”
“I am I accept. But don’t feel as if you have to fulfill my curiosity.”
“Dev I feel wasn’t mature enough to be a father. We were not actively trying to have a child. It just happened. Dev was happy when Muskaan was born and everything was fine. Then Yash bhai passed away and things began to get complicated. I stayed in Mumbai with Muskaan, away from Dev, for a long time. When I returned things had changed. Dev had become too busy and Muskaan’s responsibility was more and more thrust upon me. We of course took any decisions as a parental unit but day to day care and nurturing of Muskaan was always on me. “
“He was a negligent father even before your divorce then?”
“Negligent is a harsh word. He was busy with work I guess.”
“Stop making excuses for him Geet. It’s okay to accept he was not the man you thought him to be. Gill uncle took care of entire Khurana enterprise single handedly after my parents’ death and still made time to be there for me and he wasn’t even my father. It is about priority Geet. We make times for things we want to.”
Geet was silent. The office time traffic meant the car was moving at a very slow pace. The silence in the car was getting to the point of being suffocating when Geet started talking again.
“Brij veerji and Yash bhai were against my marriage. Even pari wasn’t that supportive. They all told me that I am too young to marry and that Dev is not someone I should marry. I defied them and married Dev anyway. They supported my choice but never approved it. I guess, when things slowly started falling apart I hid things from Pari and Brij veerji. I didn’t want a lecture and ‘I told you so’.”
“So you were technically friendless as far as marriage problems were concerned?”
“It was like an instinct to hide my issues and make excuses for Dev. It has become a second nature now. The only person I shared my marital issues with was Meera.”
“And she was part of the problem even if you didn’t know it then.”
“Yes. That’s why it was so devastating. It was like my whole world was destroyed or something.”
“Your marriage was a huge part of your life Geet. It’s okay to be grieving. But I think you are uncomfortable to grieve because everyone around you makes you feel like they are judging you.”
“Yes. I am not complaining. They all had been supportive. Problem is they never really liked Dev. And that comes out when they try to talk with me about my past. I don’t need people to tell me how pathetic Dev is. I already know first hand. I need them to be there and just listen.”
The silence that followed the declaration before Maan removed his hand from the gear for a bit to squeeze her hand. The silent reaction was soothing.
“Geet, I will listen to everything you have to say if you need a friend.”
“Would I be hurting you if I share? I need an honest answer to that Maan.”
“No Geet. The thought that you feel like there is no friend to help you with your grief hurts me. Your memories of your life with Dev cannot hurt me. “
“Still…”
“My offer of friendship was genuine Geet. I am sure I can handle being your friend.”
“Even if it means listening to me talking about my ex?”
Maan parked the car at the hospital parking lot. Turning the engine off he smiled at Geet. Waiting
for Geet to make eye contact he looked at her deep into her eyes so she can believe his conviction.
“Even if it means listening to you sharing your past.”
They got out of the car. Geet took a deep breath.
“Geet, are you afraid for some reason?”
She started speaking a few times before giving up. Articulating her own needs was so new to her. Trying once again she started speaking.
“Do you truly think I should meet my father? What if his condition aggravates? What if he gets too excited?Doctors did say that he can relapse if proper care is not taken. What if he relapses? It will be my fault if he relapses…”
“Geet…”, Maan took her hands in his and gave it a slight squeeze,” Take a deep breath and just relax. Nothing is going to happen to uncle. But more importantly, even if something happens it is not going to be your fault.”
“You don’t know Maan. It is always my fault.”
The absolute belief in that single statement spoke more about Geet’s mental state than anything else. Maan's heart broke into two. How hurt must one be to absolutely believe that everything wrong in your world is because of you.
“No Geet. Whoever told you that is wrong. Not everything is your fault and you should not try taking responsibility of everything as well.”
Geet looked at him but he could see that she didn’t believe a word he said. Years of belief cannot be broken by one sentence.
“We are in hospital Geet. The doctors are here and they had been told everything. They have permitted you to meet. You should trust the doctors. And God forbid if anything happens we will deal with it. Now let’s go.”
“Okay! I am sorry I am being silly.”
“Your fears are anything but silly.”
Holding on to her hand, her took her the rest of the way. Geet felt as if he was giving her some of his innate strength. Soon they reached their destination and it was after twelve years that Geet would meet her father again.
Steeling herself she entered the room. She wasn’t prepared for the sight. Her last memory of her father was when she was eighteen. Mohinder was a strong man then. Watching the fragile man lying on the bed Geet felt her fears melt away.
Brij was sitting beside his father and promptly looked at them. Geet came in slowly apprehensive and it looked like a slight wrong move would cause her to bolt.
“Geetu, come in. Dad has been waiting for you. He has been asking for you everyday.”
A slow tear slide down Mohinder’s eyes as he watched Geet. He tried raising his hand but it faltered. Geet went slowly closer. The last decade hadn’t been easy on either of them and they both wore the marks deep in their soul. Geet reached her and held her father’s fragile hand and linked their fingers.
Part 38
Reconcilations
Geet watched her father. She didn't even notice when Maan and Brij veerji had left them alone. Mohinder gestured with his eyes towards the seat beside his bed and Geet sat down.
He cleared his throat and held her hand. Looking at her he smiled tentatively.
“It has been years hasn’t it Geetu beta".
Geet didn’t feel she could answer the question without bringing up the bitterness welling inside her. She tried a safer topic instead.
“How are you feeling dad?”
The word ‘Dad’ felt foreign to her She was unused to using this word. It was such a rare occurrence for her.
Mohinder smiled sadly.
“I know beta that you want to avoid talking about the past.”
“I am. Frankly, I have always thought of asking you few questions. But I had always envisioned you healthy while doing that. If we talk now you will have an undue advantage over me. You are sick and I can’t … I can’t ask you things I wanted to ask because you might relapse from the stress. I don’t want to be the reason your health worsens. So let's be civil until you are able.”
“You are justifiably very angry.I failed you as a dad. I won’t talk now but just so you know, I am very sorry Geet."
“Sorry is just not enough dad. I don't know what future holds but right now I don’t think I can accept your apology. Anyway, how are you? “
Mohinder was silent. He could see however that he couldn’t force Geet just because due to his own guilt. Geet will talk when she is ready."
“I am much better Geetu. The doctors are hopeful that I will be able to go home soon.”
“That’s good.”
“Will you… will you allow me to visit you?”
Geet took a deep breath. She knew what her reply would be. But she also knew that her dad would be hurt.
“Dad, I think it’s better if we have our chat before you start visiting. I am not alone dad. I have a daughter to care about who has already had more than enough pain in her little life. I want to spare any additional pain. “
“Why do you think I will cause her pain Geetu?”
Geet wanted to retort angrily but she calmed herself down. Her dad was in a fragile state. It would not be good idea to get him excited.
“Dad, I know you think you understand my reasons for leaving Handa house but you don’t. The hurt goes way deeper than you perceive. I am not blaming you for everything but your neglect cost me something precious. I don’t want to discuss it now. You are in no state to discuss things. But get this thing clearly dad, I will not allow you any access to my daughter unless I am completely sure that your presence wouldn't affect her adversely.”
Geet knew she was being brutally honest but she didn’t care. Her dad needed to realize the extent of the damage she had withstood.
“I don’t …. Geetu do you honestly think e capable of harming my own grandchild?”
“There are lots of way to harm a person dad. I am a mess. My whole life is a mess. I am so afraid of being hurt that I seem unable to accept the love of a good man. And the most twisted part is that I understand dad. Believe me, I do. Being parents doesn’t automatically grant us some wisdom. Maybe you had your reasons. But truth is that you screwed up. And I am paying the prices. I don't want Muskaan to pay the price of my mistakes. I mean I probably will screw up too. But at least I will do something, not sit around watching things happening without bothering to even try to change things.”
Once her tirade ended Geet realized that she had said too much. Her dad looked as if he had been slapped.Taking a deep breath, she spoke little softly.
“Dad, I am sorry I hurt you. And this is neither the time nor place to have these discussions. I have eighteen years of pain to talk about and you have, I am sure, a lot to say as well. I am willing to listen. That itself is a progress dad because the Geet of past wouldn't have listened. But you can’t expect us to play happy families before that. I don’t think we have ever been a happy family to begin with. I promise to keep an open mind as much as possible but you need to accept that too much time had passed and maybe we can never be as close as we were supposed to be.”
Mohinder nodded. He was not sure what he had expected but he still had a lot of thinking to do. Geet was giving him a chance and he didn’t want to waste it.
“I will try to be there. We will talk once I am out but Geetu, for what it is worth, I am sorry.”
“I am sorry too dad for not being able to give you the daughter you need right now.”
“No Geetu, on the contrary I think you are exactly being the daughter I need. It seems, despite my age I still need a lot of growing up to do.”
“Just get well soon dad. I want you healthy and well. “
“I will Geetu. I have a lot to make up for.”
Father and daughter smiled at each other and began chatting about inconsequential things. There’s a lot left that they needed to talk about but maybe tentatively they had walked the first step towards reconciliation.
******
Maan and Brij were seating outside the room where Mr Handa was. They were silent for few minutes before Brij broke the silence.
“I didn’t know you were picking Geetu up? Isn’t that driving in the opposite direction for you?”
Maan knew exactly what Brij was implying.
“I was helping a friend Brij.”
“Just a friend?”
“Just a friend.”
“You cannot lie to me Maan. You feel more for her than friendship. I could sense it the first time I met you both together. Something changed you in Darjeeling.”
Maan was thankful that Brij only knew a part of their history. But that night, the meeting in the pub has always seemed to private to share. Nobody would really understand what they felt that night and he couldn’t even begin trying to explain. Some moments are too intense for words. He realized that Brij was waiting for him to speak.
“I am not denying any of it but she isn't ready for anything more than friendship."
“And are you going to wait hoping she would be ready someday?”
“I guess. That’s all I can do.You have to understand Brij that I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t even know when and how I fell in love with Geet. I am even surprised with the intensity of that love. I could have happily lived my life without this you know. “
“I sense a ‘but’ coming?”
“That would have been such a dull and meaningless existence. So yes, I will happily wait for Geet to be ready to receive and reciprocate my love.”
“And what if she isn’t ready Maan? What then?”
“Then I will happily spend my life being her friend.”
“Will you be happy with that Maan?"
“No, but I will be content.”
“You are my best friend Maan. I want you to be happy. You deserve happiness.”
“Says the man who has been in love with his ex for past fifteen years knowing she is married to someone else?”
“Touche…. But you didn’t answer me?”
“Being content is more than what some of us can achieve Brij. It’s more than you achieved Brij.”
“Who says I am not content.”
“I say. But Brij, life is not over for you yet. You can still have love.”
“I don’t think so Maan. I don't think I have ever stopped loving Tara. It won’t be fair to another woman.”
They were interrupted by another voice known to both of them.
“what will not be fair to another woman?”
Both of them looked up to see Sam standing in front of them. Maan smiled automatically and walked up to her.
“Hey Sam,” was the only words he spoke before he hugged her. Sam smiled and hugged him back.
“Hey Maan… What is this I hear?I am out of country few months and suddenly you are giving relationship advice to people?”
Maan smiled. Sam could always tease him when she was in the mood. But he knew her better. Her camaraderie was forced. She was trying too hard to show that nothing had changed between them.He decided to let her, without calling her out on it.
“Who did I give relationship advice too?”
“Why Annie of course. We recently had a long chat.”
“I did not Sam. I just advised hr to make a choice and stick to it but most importantly to take her time to make that choice.”
“I was kidding. Annie told me about the situation and I have to agree with you. Annie needs this time away from Mumbai.”
“How are you Sam? How was the movie?”
Maan’s second question was filled with a lot of emotions. None of them could ever forget the things they lost in part due to Sam’s willingness to do this particular movie.
Sam looked Maan in eyes and fora minute they both looked into each other’s eyes.
“I am …. I guess I can tell I am okay! The shoot was challenging. For more than one reason but I still stand by my choice Maan.”
“You should. Otherwise this was all for nothing.”
They didn’t completely agree with each other or the pain they caused each other. But they could respect the path they each took.
Brij knew that this was the first time Maan and Sam met after their divorce. Their words might be simple but a lot was spoken in between the lines. Now it was his time to enter the fray.
Brij reached out to Sam and smiled.” Hey Sam.”
“Don’t you ‘hey Sam’ me Brij Handa."
“What did I do?”
“It’s what you didn’t do that's bothering me.”
“I don’t get you Sam.”
“After everything we have been through Brij, I hear about uncle from Annie. You didn’t even bother to inform me.”
“You were out of country Sam.You were shooting your movie.”
“Doesn’t mean you won’t even tell me.”
“What would it have accomplished apart from worrying you?”
“I could have been there for you.”
“I know. But you needed to focus. And I had ample support here.”
“Still… you should have.”
Maan cleared his throat and said,” Umm Sam, when did you arrive here? I mean here in Mumbai?”
Sam: “I actually came directly from airport.”
Maan: “The jet lag must be killing you. Why don’t you let Brij drive you home?”
Sam: “Home… I don’t know where home is anymore Maan. I know you gave me the penthouse but I don’t think it is home yet. “
They all were silent for a minute before Brij spoke up.
“I think I have a solution to that problem. The handa house is practically empty what with Mom at the khurana’s and Dad here. Why don’t you stay with me for few weeks until you can make the penthouse habitable Sam?”
Sam was not someone who gave into her emotions easily. But in that moment her heart filled with gratitude. She was not lying when she said she didn’t know where home was. She just looked at Brij to convey what she lacked. Brij just smiled and nodded acknowledging her silently.
Brij looked at Maan and nodded towards the door discreetly. Maan smiled and said,” I will take care of that.”
Sam thought that they were talking about Mr. Handa. Maan and Brij on the other hand knew that they were talking about more than just Mr. Handa. They were talking about Geet.
Maan watched them leaving and waited alone. He knew Geet would be emotional after her meeting with her father and he needed to be there for her.
Edited by aditi_2010 - 5 years ago
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