I have a confession to make. (You can skip to the next paragraph and ignore the gibberish below)
I've followed Sushant's trajectory from the early days and was pretty gung ho about him. I have never liked saas-bahu format serials ever, and yet I used to pause whenever my family was watching Pavitra Rishta and he was on screen. His acting was so understated and so un-loud that I was impressed. Then I watched Kai Po Che in a theater and was immediately excited by his fresh talent. I thought he had arrived. The fact that he dropped out of engineering, despite being a good student, impressed me even more. I used to stalk him on Twitter (the ONLY celebrity whom I've done that if I remember well), and like the mohalle-ki-auntys wanted him to get married to Ankita. Because of him, I also started stalking a little bit of Ankita's profile, just to see the stuff she would post about Sushant. Post their split I rarely ever opened her Twitter profile. I didn't watch Shudh Desi Romance, but loved his screen presence in the songs and rushes. Loved Dhoni. Was thoroughly excited about Raabta, right from the moment its first "still" image was released. I used to follow Sushant's twitter handle (It had almost become a habit to type itsssr in my Incognito browser), and come to think of the co-incidence, his current wallpaper is my most favorite painting (Van Gogh's The Starry Night).
And yet, maybe around the time Raabta released, I "cancelled" Sushant in my mind. I stopped giving any importance to his movies. Stopped visiting his twitter profile. I recently loved Chhichhore, actually liked his performance, and yet didn't maybe like it as much as I should have.
And now I am thinking, have I been played? Was it the Bollywood Mafia that - using Blinds & PR articles - subconsciously made me not like Sushant as much as I used to?
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