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Janhvi -Tiger in Lag Jaa Gale
Originally posted by: Niyati_T
Mujhe PM karo Pavitra page ka matlab 😡
Mere dimag main ek idea hai lekin I still want to know 🤣
I don't know what Ankie intended but jo idea tumhare dimag mein hai I'm guessing Im thinking of that only
Chapter 11: Slow & Steady
Prerna felt a strange tingling in her heart. All this time she had spent hating one man that now when she had finally decided to let go of everything she didn’t understand how to feel. She suddenly felt an emptiness inside her. Mr. Bajaj had gone to change his clothes and check on Sneha. She looked at the pillow next to her bed and wondered what it would feel like sharing a bed with Mr. Bajaj. The person who had stood by her, solid as a rock, all these years. He had tolerated her at her worst and now it was time to show him gratitude by being the best version of herself. The relation which a husband and wife share has often been termed as complicated. But she found it easy with Mr. Bajaj. He rarely expected anything and gave her everything with open arms. She felt a weird nervousness inside as she straightened the pillow and made sure she didn’t take up all the blanket. How easily she had asked him to sleep next to her and now, all that ease was gone. She felt like it was her ‘first night’. There was a still silence that surrounded the room.
Rishabh entered the room mirroring the same nervousness. He was uncertain about what to expect. He sat down on the bed next to Prerna. He didn’t know what she meant when she said that she wanted to give their marriage a shot. He didn’t expect anything from her but still his heart fluttered looking at her. It was pounding in his chest thinking about how close she would be tonight. “Aapko kuch chahiye?” Rishabh asked, looking at her.
She shook her head.
“Aapne dawai le li?” he asked.
She nodded. “Sneha so gayi?” Prerna asked.
Rishabh nodded.
“Goodnight Mr. Bajaj,” she said, lying down awkwardly.
“Goodnight,” he said with a stern smile.
Mr. Bajaj lied down in bed next to her, straight as a log. Prerna was suddenly extremely aware of his every movement in bed. She turned over to her side, hoping she would fall asleep quickly.
Rishabh felt very awkward lying next to her. He made sure not to touch her even slightly because she might misunderstand his touch. She had done it before. He wondered why he felt so conscious about himself suddenly. He wondered if he snored at night. He hadn’t shared a room with anyone in so long that no one would know if he even did. But what if he did and because of that Prerna couldn’t sleep?
Prerna tried to focus on how she had resolved everything with Mr. Bajaj and he had finally agreed to give her a chance to be his wife. She wouldn’t let him down this time. As she promised herself to give her best she realised that she really didn’t know much about Mr. Bajaj. What did he like to eat? What was his favourite holiday destination? What was his favourite colour? What did he like to do on a Sunday? She knew nothing.
“Mr. Bajaj?” She said in a very low voice, checking if he has slept.
“Hmm?” he said, making a noise to signal that he was awake.
“Aapko neend nahi aa rahi?” she asked.
“Not really,” he admitted.
“Ek baat puchu?” she asked.
“Ji nahi, aap so jaiye. Kal baat karenge!” he said strictly.
“Pch.” Prerna frowned, “Mujhe bhi neend nahi aa rahi. Aap mere question ka answer dijiye.” she said.
Rishabh sighed loudly. He wondered if she couldn’t sleep because of his presence.
“Toh, mujhe yeh puchna tha, ki aapka favourite colour kya hai?”
“Achanak yeh question ku?” he asked, still lying down straight, staring at the fan.
“I just realised, ki mujhe aapke baare mein bohot kam pata hai.” she said.
“Jitna aap jaanti hai shayad utna koi aur nahi jaanta.” he stated. Prerna took a moment to think about what he meant by this.
“Black. I like black.” he said after thinking about his favourite colour.
“Hamesha se?” she asked.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Matlab, pehle mujhe red pasand tha, because it’s the colour of love. But ab, ab mujhe bhi black pasand hai, because it makes me feel powerful. I feel like I can hide my weaknesses in black. Toh isliye pucha, black hamesha se pasand hai?” She asked, turning over in bed to face him.
Rishabh was surprised by her honesty. Was it really that easy to say things that are in your heart? He had never had such heart to heart conversations with anyone. He believed that no one was interested in these things and people just took advantage of everything they knew about you. He always saw the worst in people. But he trusted Prerna. He trusted her completely.
“White,” he said with a small smile. “Pehle white tha. Fir white kab black ho gaya, pata hi nahi chala.” he said with a sigh. His answer was simple but it had a much deeper meaning which struck Prerna and she couldn’t help but think about it.
Prerna turned to face him and looked at his face. She wondered what made the white black. She knew that he found it difficult to share his feelings and she didn’t want to push him but she had a lot of questions. In the years that she had known Mr. Bajaj, she realised that he was an honorable man and that people could never see past his cold outer shell. Who was he deep underneath? Did something bad happen to him? She suddenly thought about his ex-wife. Why doesn’t kukki visit her mother?
Rishabh could feel her eyes on him. He looked at her too. Her face had no lines, her hair was neatly tucked behind her ears and her eyes were lost, trying to see more than it could possibly fathom. He felt conscious of himself. Her eyes were fixed on him and strangely it made him feel special.
“Happy? Ab so jaiye”. Rishabh said.
“No. Mere paas ek aur sawaal hai.” She said innocently.
“What? Prerna you need rest!” he asked, concerned about her. He was here to make sure she sleeps peacefully but here she was busy asking him questions. He really wanted her to rest so that she could be healthy tomorrow.
“Mr. Bajaj, aapko mujhpe trust hai?” she asked, ignoring his concerns. She was used to them now. He was paranoid.
“Yeh kesa sawal hai? Ofcourse, you’re my wife. I trust you a hundred percent!” he said clearly.
“Toh fir aap ku mujhse apne mann ki baat share nahi kar paate?” She asked, still looking into his eyes. Her big doe eyes curiously searched for answers. Rishabh was silent. Even he didn’t know the exact answer to her question. Prerna waited for him to say something.
“Insaan ki life mein kuch experiences hote hai jo usse badal deta hai, bas kuch esa hi samajh lijiye, mujhe aadat nahi hai. And anyway, aapne kabhi pucha bhi nahi..” he said. It wasn’t a taunt to Prerna but she felt it hit like one. It was true, regardless. She had never bothered to know what he thought or what he had gone through.
“Kya experiences? Aap apni ex-wife ki baat kar rahe hai? I remember aapne kaha tha ki Kukki aapko Menaka ki yaad dilati hai and that she left you for another man.” Prerna recollected.
Rishabh’s jaw clenched. He didn’t like talking about her. Time heals everything but something that Rishabh would never forgive Menaka for was abandoning their daughter. In all these years, she hasn’t bothered about anything other than alimony. She didn’t think about how Kukki would grow up without a mother. If it weren’t for Prerna his child would have been very different.
“I am sorry. If you don’t want to talk about her, we don’t have to.” Prerna said, realising the change in his expressions. She didn’t want him to get upset.
“Nahi, esi baat nahi hai. You have a right to know about my past. Aapne hamesha mujhe sach kaha hai apne past ke baare mein. Aapke jo questions hai, main sab answer karunga.” he said, becoming serious now.
She knew it was tough to talk about lost love and especially when you’re cheated. Maybe that’s why Mr. Bajaj helped her when Anurag pushed her off the bridge for Komolika. He understood her feelings then.
“Mujhe bas ek chiz samajh nahi aa rahi..” She said.
“And what is that?”
“Aapne hamesha itna khayal rakha hai apni family ka. Bina bole hi aap sab kuch kar dete ho fir ku choda Menaka ne? And aapne bola that you loved her. Agar aap mera itna dhyan rakh rahe hai toh I can only imagine ki aap Menaka ka kitna dhyan rakhte honge!” Prerna said, clearly expressing her thoughts. “Why did she do this to you? Just money?”
Rishabh didn’t have an answer to that but he tried to say what he felt. “Par aapne bhi toh Anurag ke liye mujhe chod diya tha. Ku?” He said. Ouch, this felt like another taunt to Prerna. Prerna was about to argue when he explained. “You want what you want Prerna, yeh sab ke baare mein sochke kuch fayda nahi hai. And its not ‘just money’. I realised the hard way that money is very important. Jab Menaka mujhe chodke gayi toh I was nothing. Main bhi aapki tarah revenge lena chahta hai, for myself and Kukki. She left both of us. But I couldn’t do anything that time because I didn’t have money. Maine din raat mehnat ki till I was successful. I became so big that I forgot what I really wanted. Maine uske husband ko barbaad kar diya. I left him with nothing. One after the other I started taking revenge from everyone that had put me down, or cheated me.” He said.
Prerna could completely understand what he must have been through. How did he do all that alone? She had him, but he.. he had no one. Just an infant who hadn’t even said her first words.
“Fir?” Prerna asked.
“Fir, nothing. I felt empty. There was no revenge left and no love either. I was alone at the end also, and there was not a trace of happiness after the revenge. Just pain. In all this I forgot that Kukki needed me to be her mother and father both. I didn’t even realise that she hadn’t said her first words until much later. And when I realised then the doctor said because of negligence and the trauma of being without her mother she wouldn’t be able to speak. It could be temporary or permanent.” Rishabh’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Uss revenge ne Kukki ko akela kar diya tha. Isliye shayad jab woh aapse mili and she felt that love, woh aapse itni attach ho gayi and you know the rest..” He said.
Prerna was shocked. Mr. Bajaj had been through so much alone. No wonder he didn’t trust people. No wonder he preferred to be alone. Prerna wished she could have been there for him the way he was always there for her.
“Aur fir bhi aapne uss waqt mujhe revenge lene se roka nahi?” She asked. If Mr. Bajaj knew it was bad for her then why didn’t he stop her?
“Prerna, pyar ek bohot strong emotion hai. Uss waqt main jaanta tha ki no matter what I said aap nahi rukti. And main nahi chahta tha ki aap yeh sab akele kare, like me. I wanted to be there for you. I tried to make you focus on your career and socha ki shayad aap 8 saalon mein bhul jaye revenge ko. But you were so determined and main end mein aapka confidence todna nahi chahta tha. Agar uss waqt kuch kehta toh aap mere saath kabhi nahi chalti.”
Prerna looked at him. He was indeed a wise man. He always thought about her before anything else. He had been through the whole journey of revenge alone and that’s why he used to be so cold. She felt like she connected with him at all those levels now. She finally understood where he comes from. He wasn’t so different from her.
“Par Mr. Bajaj, how did you come out of it all? Aap iss revenge ke cycle se bahar kese nikle?” she asked.
Rishabh smiled slowly, this was one answer he knew for sure, “Aapki wajah se.” he admitted.
Prerna’s eyes widened and she was at a loss for words. “Meri wajah se? Par maine toh kuch nahi kiya.” she said, feeling guilty. She hadn’t even been anything close to a wife to him.
“Prerna, aapne mujhe firse ehsaas dilaya ki mujhe life se actually chahiye kya tha. That emptiness that I felt, had started to get filled. Aap ne mujhe wapas yaad dilaya ki pyaar hota kya hai. No matter koi aapko kitna bhi burra keh le, aap wahi karti thi jo aapke hisaab se sahi hota tha. And aapki care. Choti choti chize jo aap karti thi, that was enough aur fir pata nahi kab mujhe aapse pya--” Rishabh froze. He realised what he was about to say and stopped himself.
Prerna couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Did Mr. Bajaj love her? She must have heard it wrong. No way! She had been her worst self in front of him all this while. And love? She didn’t deserve any of it. But her mind kept circling back to one question, does he love her?
Rishabh knew he had said way too much and he wished he hadn’t. He wanted to get out of bed and back to his room. How could he lose control like that? How could he tell her? This day was seemingly never ending. So much had happened in one day that Rishabh didn’t get time to think about everything. Prerna wanted to move to London. He tried to divert his mind and ignore Prerna. That’s the only way he could see to avoid answering her questions.
“Mr. Bajaj?” Prerna said. He was so strange, she thought. He just stopped talking. He didn’t even look at her after she called him.
“Mr. Bajaj?” Prerna said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Rishabh snapped out of his thoughts.
“Prerna ab aapko sona chahiye.” he said sternly.
“But hamari baat adhuri reh gayi!” She exclaimed.
“Mujhe neend aa rahi hai, and wese bhi, I have a long day tomorrow. London ki flight 2 pm ki hai.” he informed.
Prerna had completely forgotten that Mr. Bajaj was leaving the next day. He should definitely sleep. “Main kal subah aapka bag pack kar dungi.” she said.
“Main kar lunga. Aap please rest kariye.” he said, turning his back towards Prerna and going to bed. He didn’t want to burden Prerna with his emotions. He knew she was trying to get to know him and understand him to make this marriage work. She was making a genuine effort but he didn’t want her to feel pressured to love him or show any extra concern. He had always wanted Prerna to choose him, not settle for him. Finally, he could see that somewhat happening.
Prerna could have gone back to Anurag. She could have picked Anurag again. They shared a child as well. But she didn’t. She picked him. And seeing her making such an effort towards him really touched his heart. He would give her all the time she needed. She was finally with him and there was nothing more that he wanted.
Prerna slept thinking about Mr. Bajaj. How difficult his life would have been. How lonely he would have felt on some days. How scary it would be to bring up a daughter alone. She wondered what she would do if he wasn’t with her. She might have died when she fell off the bridge only.
*
The next morning Prerna woke up early. She turned in bed and saw Rishabh sleeping peacefully next to her. He slept facing her. She looked at his messy hair and smiled. This was the first time she was looking at him up close. He slept like a small baby. His lips pouted and his hands under his head. She remembered that he was leaving for London today. She was going to miss him. She sighed looking at him. He really gave her so much strength. Just his presence made her feel like nothing could go wrong and even if something did, he would be able to fix it.
She noticed that his hair was over his eyes and it was bothering him. She slowly fixed his hair and removed it from over his eyes. She looked at him one last time before getting out of bed. Things felt different today. She felt more fulfilled. She felt like she understood her husband now. Why he did what he did made so much more sense. She was glad that she could play a small role in helping him get out of the revenge. He remembered his words from last night and a small smile crept up on her face. He realised the small things that she did for him. It was so rare to meet someone who noticed those things. She tried to understand if Mr. Bajaj was about to confess his love for her at night. She wondered if she could possibly ever love Mr. Bajaj? Was she over Anurag? How would she know if she was? They shared a child and there was a time when she would have gone to any length to protect Anurag, would she still do that? Will she ever be able to feel for Mr. Bajaj, the way she felt about Anurag? These questions circled her mind but there was no answer. She didn't know.
*
Precap : Sneha gets kidnapped by Komolika.
Hello guys!
Do let me know what you think :)
I loved reading PreRish late night convo
So natural it was ❤️
Rishabh has gone through so much yaar 🥺
He almost confessed his feelings and though he stopped she knows it ( at least itni smart toh hai yeh wali Prerna 😆)
Sneha gets Kidnapped before Bajaj boards his flight and the #KhoonSeLatpatBajaj 😈
And Prerna will also get answers to her questions ki jab Rishabh Ki jaan pe aanch aayegi toh usse kaisa feel hoga! 😛
Heyy! Hope You're doing great.
Coming to the update, it was a wonderful one. The nervousness of both Prerna and Rishabh whioe sharing the bed was no natural. The conversation between them was a good start to their relationship. Prerna trying to know Rishabh a little better each day. Glad to know that she's pondering over her thoughts of loving Anurag once to such an extent that she's confused whether she'll be able to love Rishabh the same way. Overall, a very good update!
Waiting for the next.
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