Arararaaaaa🤗
Thanks for sending me the link to this pm or else I would miss this beautiful piece of your work forever thanks to your unnamed tittle!!
So I read all 4 parts together last night and the 5th one now...so I'll give my comments on all of them together. So bear with my lonnnnggg comment.
First Chapter-
It was a good introductory chapter... straight out of the show... u see, veena n Rohit's convo or Ronakshi's banter...so familiar... Hence easy to relate and feel connected and there u for Ur readers hooked with a curiosity as to what new twist she'll bring in in the already known story. Good job!!👏 And Rohit gifting Sona a dress has been my wish since forever... I hope he does soon and he's not out of budget just with a bracelet 🤣
Second Chapter-
I loved the proposal. It was so real...ekdum no non-sense, to the business 😀 and his knees paining in that position and a taunt about tv proposals...so so relatable...faced it so many times🤣 hey, we did the proposal scene almost similarly in my os too...family surprising them thing...hmm similar minds😎
Third Chapter
Oh what a fast pace...milke, ladh jhagadke, patch up Karke, engagement hoke, Shaadi ki date bhi fix ho gayi😀 jealous sippu was cute!! I seriously wish Sona should have at least one good friend on the show. I have my hopes from sumit now...god kya din aa Gaye hai🤣 Waise i m almost sure u had written this chapter was suman was behaving nuts! I was wondering yeh bhadaas Rohit ki nikal rahi hai ya ara ki🤣
Fourth Chapter (Both Parts)-
It was wonderful idea ara to make the family sit and watch the talk show. I would always like to have this scene incorporated in the show. Rohit's reactions were funny😂 and his reaction on telling the whole love story...so apt😂 I would love to see his family teasing him that he was the one always looking down at tv and ab janaab khud tv show mein dikh rahe hain all excited...and Rohit's face will be same like his reaction in the mehendi scene...cute, excited, embarrassed, happy, blushing... everything together😳
Btw, I slept thinking why has she marked this ff as mature content...I had no idea so far😂
Fifth Chapter-
U r so bad ara...precap mein mature content ka lollipop dikhake tu gayab ho gayi for 2 freaking months...Rohit k sath tere readers ko bhi tadpaate hue!!! Thank god I wasn't aware of this story back then🤣 and u better don't delay ur further updates now. Anyways, for those who waited...the wait was worth it as the chapter was totally upto the expectations. Loved loved loved it. The tease, hotness, the act... everything was so well described. If at all I write an FF in future and I have to include a mature content wala chapter, I m hiring you!!! You were really so good with your words... subtlety at its best in the adult content. Fifty shades and all mehnat rang laayi👍🏼
Now coming to your writing part. You had told me already that you r not good at writing, so I had kept my expectations low. But girl, u have really improved very much over the period. The first 3 chapters looked more like story telling...like more than ronakshi or other characters speaking, I felt like ara is speaking. But 4th chapter onwards, I could feel the characters speaking those lines. And the writing in 5th chapter was the best. I mean the dialogues. Ur narratives were always good. When u write an altogether different plot and different characters, any language that u use is acceptable. But when ur story is based on the already established characters, u have to write the dialogues in their language, their style. If u r not confident with their language, it's ok, u can write it in English...but at least their style of English must be maintained so that the readers can feel the connect. I felt this was lacking in the first 3 chapters. But 4th and 5th were on point👍 You have really improved a lot in such a short span of time...way to go girl👍🏼 (I hope u don't mind my honest reviews🙈)
CID
Ishaani
