Sept 11th: The guilt trap - Page 11

Originally posted by: rivaanvira

I know what you are talking about ..

I was told to consider a boy at 18 .. and this is despite having lived in a metropolitan city .. So it doesnt matter where you live, its the mindset in which you have grown up in .. It is hard to break those shackles .. one has to rebel or find a supportive partner to achieve the status one being a woman, not just a mother, wife, daughter,daughter-in-law ..

Word....I don’t think ppl realize just how hard it is. You have to step off the beaten path to actually know the level to which society will try to repress you and condition you to accept the status quo.

It is so much easier to just accept and give in to the labels and roles society assigns to you. I just find it depressing that for all the talks of feminism and empowerment, most women still don’t really get it.....they still don’t realize when they become conditioned to associate all their self worth with being a wife...such a heavy price to pay for loving someone or choosing to submit yourself to a relationship.

It is very very VERY hard to find a sorted and evolved partner to love and support you beyond societal role agendas. Most ppl fall into the vicious cycle and then live with a kooyein ka mendak mentality all their lives....trying to run down anything that challenges their perception of husband connected self worth.

Originally posted by: porankisrilata

I don't think letting parents know about Minni condition is anytime soon... Mandap me to hone se raha ..bcoz Mickey knows that if he spoil babes wedding that will upset Minni more and he won't take that risk Now... I feel even he is waiting for the wedding to be done so that he can deal with that and may be he will inform HS as always in his own style....

I think so too. That HS-Mickey hug and him being included in HS' inner circle wasn't for nothing.

Mickey is not comfortable with hide and seek so I hope he does seek HS out and tells him something or at least gives him a hint. Samajhdar ke liye ishara hi kaafi hai.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Lol I sound irritated? I guess my thinking is usually on an opposite track from the rest of this forum.

So you’re talking about Micky generally helping Mini....lol I thought you had some immediate solution for this issue but I guess not. Micky generally watching out for Mini is a given by this point.

I guess I’m the only one disturbed by the way this isn’t getting resolved properly in PB style and instead festering at a sensitive time. Babitas’s issues were already complicated enough to work through in this wedding...then there’s HS ka past waale issues....and now Mini ka existential crisis thrown in....kahin se assurance nahin aa raha of any of them being able to resolve it. Yesterday’s assurance scene didn’t cut it.

And I’m not a fan of Kammo’s vile words being brushed under the carpet so easily.

Yo I share the same concerns. I don't think they can or will solve it before the wedding or even start considering it, though. The problem with issues like this is that the person struggling will be more and more sensitive about every word or gesture and often compound the issue psychologically. Minnie needs help, fast. Things have already gone much farther than they should have.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Word....I don’t think ppl realize just how hard it is. You have to step off the beaten path to actually know the level to which society will try to repress you and condition you to accept the status quo.

It is so much easier to just accept and give in to the labels and roles society assigns to you. I just find it depressing that for all the talks of feminism and empowerment, most women still don’t really get it.....they still don’t realize when they become conditioned to associate all their self worth with being a wife...such a heavy price to pay for loving someone or choosing to submit yourself to a relationship.

It is very very VERY hard to find a sorted and evolved partner to love and support you beyond societal role agendas. Most ppl fall into the vicious cycle and then live with a kooyein ka mendak mentality all their lives....trying to run down anything that challenges their perception of husband connected self worth.

No they dont .. not at least the generation we are coming out from .. we are everything but us, but I

Word to Bold .. It also begins at home .. For future generation, its important to teach them too that a woman/man is not there just to fulfill their roles as a spouse,child, etc .. but they too have an identity ..

@AY - What do you mean by "kooyein ka mendak"?

Kooyein means well, and mendak a frog right? I'm failing to understand the analogy here though.

Since we are on the topic of marriage at 18, I want there to be a track where Babita specifically pushes back at ppl taunting her to get Mini married quickly and states that she doesn’t want her daughter to live through what she did with marriage at 18. That she wants her daughter to spread her wings and live life on her own terms....study, work whatever she wants to do in her own time rather than expectation of fast shaadi.

Yeah ppl will keep talking bakwaas about Mini and Babita regardless for Babita getting remarried herself instead of getting her 18 year old married but I want HMB to push back HARD against that idea.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

It would be quite unfortunate if the same show that showed HS sunaaoing Babes for her blind defending of her pati now goes the route of justifying Kammo ki bakwaas as Patni defending her Pati no matter how ghatiya he actually is 🙄🙄🙄

I don't think they will justify it. They will deal with it in their own way because all that character development of Kammo can't be thrown out the window. Let's see how they do it.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

@AY - What do you mean by "kooyein ka mendak"?

Kooyein means well, and mendak a frog right? I'm failing to understand the analogy here though.

It’s a metaphor in Hindi.

It means that a frog living inside a well starts to consider that well his world and doesn’t realize that there is much more outside beyond that well.

So the analogy is that ppl get comfortable in their bubbles and lose a sense of reality.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yo I share the same concerns. I don't think they can or will solve it before the wedding or even start considering it, though. The problem with issues like this is that the person struggling will be more and more sensitive about every word or gesture and often compound the issue psychologically. Minnie needs help, fast. Things have already gone much farther than they should have.

I just don’t want this to cast an ugly shadow on the family scenes post the wedding and Mini feeling uncomfortable around HS and Babes.

Thoda bahut adjustment I understand but yesterday’s vile words gave things an ugly twist.

Originally posted by: MaaneetDeewangi

That better not happen 😵

How easily she said all that crap to Hanuman, knowing she tied him rakhi 😡

I really don't want to see Kammo's face in Hanita's wedding! 🤬

If not Hanuman, I hope at least Babita gives a lecture to Kammo.

Hanuman should just return her the rakhi, but I know he'd never do that cuz he respects women irrespective of how shitty they are 😑

I think this is the bit that ticked me off most. She chose to make him her brother and this is how she thinks of him? Is that how one treats a brother-sister relationship? Fine, she had a issue with Babita's words but what about Minnie? Doesn't she remember what HS has done for her? She was witness to a lot of it.

She trampled over everything HS has done for mother-daughter and in a way for her too. If he hadn't encouraged Babita she may not have had this business and Kammo would not have had a job or become financially independent.

Chaddo, I'm too mad at her right now. She better apologize to HS and I hope for once he calls her out in her behavior, as her brother.