Ego or self respect

Hello All..little confused abt y the makers have made this story an ego issue...Not that ppl can’t have ego and it is good that they r showing ppl as normal human beings but def. this particular thing being depicted as ego is confusing

1) We had a discussion abt whether HS was wrong in what he said and there were mixed opinions...few felt he had the right to say things as he had always been calm and composed before this...My view was him getting angry was ok but def not him pointing out to Babita’s character...as wat May come u have to know wat u r saying..and character will not evn b the last thing a sane person and someone close to u shud point out to...felt Babita was right in her behaviour as she should have self respect ...agn not at all because he got angry but the way he did....

2) While I felt they should have shown HS getting aware of this on his own and apologising he never did that...he was absolutely normal as if nothing hpnd...this for me was not right...i thought This chapter shud have been closed before a new cud have started...rather a new can’t start without this closing ...

3) Instead they did not close it and surprisingly Babita only was shown to have stepped down not HS..he neither spoke to her nor try stopping her from leaving the haweli...which agn for me was confusing...but still felt mayb they just wanted to go for the happy family track (in reality I doubt this wud have happened when someone was so hurt agn due to the words spoken) plus she suddenly forgot everything ?? When her pain was seen in her eyes..

4) Now they are agn coming up with the topic...Babita has never been egoistic...infact her behaviour has been absolutely caring and giving...hence she lost Ashok or rather did not realise that he was fooling her...later also though she was shown evolving, she was shown simple and naive..a person can’t suddenly change so much...and agn why is this entire story being made to be a ego issue...

5) Now when Babita has shown too much understanding and her goodness by accepting HS inspite of all dat had happened (dat is wat tracks did earlier) now the ideal situation wud have been if HS himself wud have raised the topic...and told Babita how he felt bad of wat he said and how it has been haunting him aswell (surprisingly it actually never evn occurred to him that he said something wrong)......a nice discussion on it where Babita is quiet but her hurt is evident and thn the track closes with things well discussed...this also wud have been an understanding HS

6) Instead they suddenly made Babita say that HS shud choose her or his ego (this is not the Babita we know first thing )...again y will she risk her marriage now...I think that is the last thing she will do as if HS get’s angry then it means her marriage wud not happen and now everyone knows abt it so that wud not be taken well by Babita ...especially since her bg id different..and with one marriage broken y will she risk her marriage...so ideally this discussion evn she will do before the marriage get’s fixed not afterwards....v can’t say she was confident HS wud choose her as in last few days he has not done that ...so y the condition

7) they made it a ego issue and gave more importance to the sorry part rather than focusing on what was being said and y it was not right...for me it was a hurtful thing as might b for all ladies as finally no one will take a character remark for any reason and from anyone....while ‘Babita not talking or Babita’s behaviour for me’ was self respect and perfectly right behaviour...it was portrayed instead as ego...Again having ego is ok and v all have it but this was for me was not ego...

8) HS did not quite seem sorry even now...he said sorry only because Babita asked him to choose...now it has been shown as an ego issue for him aswell...

Well they cud have taken up some other topic later to show that these two have ego but here it was not required...when a person was actually right ...it shud have been clearly a situation where such a sensitive thing get’s discussed and the person who is wrong her says sorry to the other person....

Somehow not very convinced with the treatment of this thing which most of us felt was HS’s mistake...he neither seemed/looked sensible and neither did it seem that Babita had been hurt as it was an attack on her character...but just that she wanted him to say sorry as her ‘ego’ was hurt....no not for this topic...rest any place I wud have loved to see this ego clash

Lol.

Have you been watching it all from the beginning, I wonder at all.

She has more than once attacked his Character and the worst was the Camera issue, she implied that he wanted favours from her and I zm glad that he got angry at her when she came and he put her right, which is what Babitacshould have done straight away, instead of stewing in it her self.

But like he has said to her and Nayeem Be as well that she has said many hurtful things to him and never apologised for it and he never took it to heart but instead understood that she was having a hard time etc.

But the one thing he says when he is stressed and its her hurt ego etc. I don't think that its right to play the female victim part here.

Yes Pohaam nailed it regarding her anger and ego issues, which She used today to make a point to herself when she blackmailed him to choose her love or ego and she boasted to Mini that her ego and project is intact but failed to see the bigger issue of losing her respect in front of her issue here, even Mini has mentioned this to her about her ego.

Now we are going to see Mini seeing her Mother for who she is and maybe see that her Father was made a scapegoat in there Marriage and hence he went looking for love elsewhere and the blames is with her too. I wonder if Babita is too blame for the failure of her Marriage and not the other way round. And where was her ego than. I have said from the beginning that it takes two to tango or clap in a Marriage and sadly she failed in that as well. Everyone blamed Ashok and Mita instead of Babita.

Lets see where it goes from here. And I for one don't want HS to run after her now and let her marvel in her victory and see where she is wrong.

I think that HS was right in telling her to pay mire attention to Mini and her Business, maybe a hint here that she is going to fail as lately she is ignoring them both and amazing the only thing picked by all was the attack on her Character, which makes me wonder why is that.

Most of us here don't have a problem with Babita wanting HS to apologise, we wanted him to apologise for his remarks too. Our problem is with the way his hand was forced and he was made to apologise, choosing between Love and Ego.

Lol. But she has never apologised to him for all the hurtful things she said to him and the way she decided to leave when he was in trouble.

A very shallow character and many here run after the woman victim card here I wonder why.

After all what's sauce for the goose is the same for the gander is a saying that's what's good for one should be the same for the other.

But no I don't think that she will stand by him when the chips are down. HS is in love with her, hence he choose her which is sad really as he will never get the Love that carves for.

Originally posted by: guddi01

Lol.

Have you been watching it all from the beginning, I wonder at all.

She has more than once attacked his Character and the worst was the Camera issue, she implied that he wanted favours from her and I zm glad that he got angry at her when she came and he put her right, which is what Babitacshould have done straight away, instead of stewing in it her self.

But like he has said to her and Nayeem Be as well that she has said many hurtful things to him and never apologised for it and he never took it to heart but instead understood that she was having a hard time etc.

But the one thing he says when he is stressed and its her hurt ego etc. I don't think that its right to play the female victim part here.

Yes Pohaam nailed it regarding her anger and ego issues, which She used today to make a point to herself when she blackmailed him to choose her love or ego and she boasted to Mini that her ego and project is intact but failed to see the bigger issue of losing her respect in front of her issue here, even Mini has mentioned this to her about her ego.

Now we are going to see Mini seeing her Mother for who she is and maybe see that her Father was made a scapegoat in there Marriage and hence he went looking for love elsewhere and the blames is with her too. I wonder if Babita is too blame for the failure of her Marriage and not the other way round. And where was her ego than. I have said from the beginning that it takes two to tango or clap in a Marriage and sadly she failed in that as well. Everyone blamed Ashok and Mita instead of Babita.

Lets see where it goes from here. And I for one don't want HS to run after her now and let her marvel in her victory and see where she is wrong.

I think that HS was right in telling her to pay mire attention to Mini and her Business, maybe a hint here that she is going to fail as lately she is ignoring them both and amazing the only thing picked by all was the attack on her Character, which makes me wonder why is that.

Babita has that ego issue from starting May be she thinks it's her self respect but don't understand the difference between it...

And yes Babita also has attacked him with harsh words but he never ever voiced put it them and that's his patience level when it comes to his loved ones... And men being like that are were rare... I respect him for. That... And yes what he aid to. Naeem bi that she also have said some harsh words to. Me. But I never took them to heart......

Now comes this confrontation part... Did she questioned him. Earlier whenever they had a fight or said anything I don't think so... She don't ask. Him what's going on in his life or why did he speak to her like that.. But she asked him about his whereabouts Why Was he upset... Bcoz. He gave her that right in Pooja when he referred himself as Minni father... But in sometime he rejected her by attacking her character though whatever be the reason might be he have done wrong... And after this imarti siyappa she decided to move on as he referred that he can't love anyone more than imarti.... But again with naeem bi and Poonam guidance she kept her ego aside and proposed him indirectly... And he also reciprocated the same so again he gave the right... That's why she confronted him again... But the ways she kept condition was totally wrong... Pyaar mean sharth nahi hote... Bad pyaar hota hai... Agar hs ka ego bada hota to shayad wo uski taraf dekhta bhi nahi.... Here she went wrong... Confronting him was not wrong keeping condition was wrong and the worst part is that she dint get that she have hurt him...

And coming to him I felt he should have told her how hurt he is... Nobody is antaryami in life... When she have that right to tellthat she is hurt or his words even he have that right to. Confront her to put a condition and test his love for her.... U have to speak ur heart out with your partner then only relationship survives... Otherwise i will always be compromise... And if o m saying this also I don't support Babita for putting condition to test his love that's absolutely wrong... It looks like many women put a condition that if u love me more than ur mother then only come to me..which is very wrong.... Bcoz if u love anyone it should be unconditional..which HS does... And Babita needs to know that yet...

And coming to the broken marriage with Ashok I sorry if your partner is egoistic also u don't have any right to cheat on your partner... If you are not happy with him or her, talk and even if u are suffocating in the relationship the come out of it and then have a new life.... Kehte hai na do naav pe pair rakh kar nahi jaa sakte.. Either this or that....

What I feel is both have flaws which have to be acknowledged by the other and accept it that's it.... Every perfect relationship is about two imperfect ppl...

Originally posted by: guddi01

I think that HS was right in telling her to pay mire attention to Mini and her Business, maybe a hint here that she is going to fail as lately she is ignoring them both and amazing the only thing picked by all was the attack on her Character, which makes me wonder why is that.

Have pointed this out too a few times. In fact in his words, aside from the talk about her remaining within her maryada, everything else came from a point of truth. She wasn't doing right by Minnie or her business.

Originally posted by: guddi01

Lol.

Have you been watching it all from the beginning, I wonder at all.

She has more than once attacked his Character and the worst was the Camera issue, she implied that he wanted favours from her and I zm glad that he got angry at her when she came and he put her right, which is what Babitacshould have done straight away, instead of stewing in it her self.

But like he has said to her and Nayeem Be as well that she has said many hurtful things to him and never apologised for it and he never took it to heart but instead understood that she was having a hard time etc.

But the one thing he says when he is stressed and its her hurt ego etc. I don't think that its right to play the female victim part here.

Yes Pohaam nailed it regarding her anger and ego issues, which She used today to make a point to herself when she blackmailed him to choose her love or ego and she boasted to Mini that her ego and project is intact but failed to see the bigger issue of losing her respect in front of her issue here, even Mini has mentioned this to her about her ego.

Now we are going to see Mini seeing her Mother for who she is and maybe see that her Father was made a scapegoat in there Marriage and hence he went looking for love elsewhere and the blames is with her too. I wonder if Babita is too blame for the failure of her Marriage and not the other way round. And where was her ego than. I have said from the beginning that it takes two to tango or clap in a Marriage and sadly she failed in that as well. Everyone blamed Ashok and Mita instead of Babita.

Lets see where it goes from here. And I for one don't want HS to run after her now and let her marvel in her victory and see where she is wrong.

I think that HS was right in telling her to pay mire attention to Mini and her Business, maybe a hint here that she is going to fail as lately she is ignoring them both and amazing the only thing picked by all was the attack on her Character, which makes me wonder why is that.

I def have seen PBs and did not feel Babita had ego ...whn u lead a life on your own with your daughter some sternness is expected...u wud anyways b over protective plus she was not evn confident or had lived independently hence being extra cautious was obvious..however otherwise she was shown to be a quiet personality..never saw her shout unnecessarily or get angry ...earlier situation when she shouted at HS was different ...times were different...right now when this incident happened both had accepted each other..both knew that aswell only had not openly expressed it...Babita did not shout at HS during pot making incident ...as then she had already understud her feelings...also it is not right to say that Babita deserved to be divorced and Ashok was not at fault...Ashok has been shown to be an extremely selfish arrogant and bad person..just because Babita is expressing wat she has felt v can’t say she deserves treatment Ashok meted out to her...nor is it right to always feel that she shud not react Evn if she wants to or is hurt ....whenever HS has been good v have appreciated him ....

Anyways these are characters and it might b perspective ....plus I do not have personal favourites here...both characters for me are part of the story hence mayb for me any mistake is a mistake ...as when u like someone a lot sometimes tend to be biased unknowingly....in this case feel since few of u really like him your perspective might be different....mine also might have been same if I wud have had similiar feelings probably ..

Originally posted by: inlieu

Have pointed this out too a few times. In fact in his words, aside from the talk about her remaining within her maryada, everything else came from a point of truth. She wasn't doing right by Minnie or her business.

But her business part has anyways been given second priority...they have never highlighted it ever...but agn all is connected...wat he meant was she is behind him hence everything else has become second priority...thus watever he said and way was harsh

Originally posted by: guddi01

Lol.

Have you been watching it all from the beginning, I wonder at all.

She has more than once attacked his Character and the worst was the Camera issue, she implied that he wanted favours from her and I zm glad that he got angry at her when she came and he put her right, which is what Babitacshould have done straight away, instead of stewing in it her self.

But like he has said to her and Nayeem Be as well that she has said many hurtful things to him and never apologised for it and he never took it to heart but instead understood that she was having a hard time etc.

But the one thing he says when he is stressed and its her hurt ego etc. I don't think that its right to play the female victim part here.

Yes Pohaam nailed it regarding her anger and ego issues, which She used today to make a point to herself when she blackmailed him to choose her love or ego and she boasted to Mini that her ego and project is intact but failed to see the bigger issue of losing her respect in front of her issue here, even Mini has mentioned this to her about her ego.

Now we are going to see Mini seeing her Mother for who she is and maybe see that her Father was made a scapegoat in there Marriage and hence he went looking for love elsewhere and the blames is with her too. I wonder if Babita is too blame for the failure of her Marriage and not the other way round. And where was her ego than. I have said from the beginning that it takes two to tango or clap in a Marriage and sadly she failed in that as well. Everyone blamed Ashok and Mita instead of Babita.

Lets see where it goes from here. And I for one don't want HS to run after her now and let her marvel in her victory and see where she is wrong.

I think that HS was right in telling her to pay mire attention to Mini and her Business, maybe a hint here that she is going to fail as lately she is ignoring them both and amazing the only thing picked by all was the attack on her Character, which makes me wonder why is that.

What? father was made a scapegoat ..this is too much .

Also two hands needed for clapping theory is not applicable for every incident . What did you want ? Babita to sit at home to look after Ashok and Mita and their children wah re wah!

Just becos Babita said no for camera , you felt bad .. does she not have the right to say no? How can you equate that incident with what HS said to Babita. Yes Babita uses the word ehsan often. It was before the pottery scene that too before she accepted him. She used it later that too after HS told her to be in her respectable boundaries which is a very strong word.

Whatever HS said was wrong ... She has every right to confront. But not this way. I am not at all okay with that

She suddenly behaves like how HS behaved suddenly after the drinking scene . Complete a disconnect .I didnt see this Babita earlier .

Originally posted by: inlieu

Have pointed this out too a few times. In fact in his words, aside from the talk about her remaining within her maryada, everything else came from a point of truth. She wasn't doing right by Minnie or her business.

No the intention at that time was make her go away from him. Not about the business or Minnie. He wanted to hit the nail so that she leave him. He added those things which are very important for her so that she take his words seriously.

PS Even i dont have issue with his intention , he felt that it would be too much for them so wanted them to be away . But using the words like 'to be with in the respectable boundary' is a big word . But again I always wanted the things to be settled in a mature way. I expected different story may be. things are getting more complicated than before . Some times make me feel, whether they are fine for each other? Why cant they just be the parents of Minnie?