"Instead of bringing me to this house, he should have rather left me dying and walked away like he had in the past"
This one👏
All the pent up frustration I had in me after reading what he did to Ishita, I just felt like that burden moved away from my heart, as soon as I read this statement.😭
Yeah, she preferred to die, rather than taking help from him. I could understand her. That's why, I never felt happy about the last 6 months journey. His care and concern is nothing before the burden she has been carrying since he left her. Ashok tormenting her, because she is still stuck to Raman, only intensified her agony. Even after moving on from him, she still has to pay the price of loving him, because Ashok was jealous of Raman. She must have felt foolish for ending up with these two men. One man, left her shattered and other man added to the agony. She has definitely been foolish for choosing Ashok, but she didn’t have choice, and she did try to be a good wife, but her destiny was cruel. Raman was the only light she saw in her life. In rest of the people, she kept no hopes, so they backstabbing her didn't hurt her like how Raman's mistakes hurt her. I understand her completely. I am glad she said this and I.would have been even more glad had Raman heard this. No, I don't want to see him in pain, but I want him to know her pain, bit by bit. Every bit.
"She hoped that someday he would come back to her but he didn't. .."
She is ready to forgive him. Even after shattering her dreams, she did wait for him, because she knew the man she loved. He would have come, but that phone call ruined everything. And looks like she gave up her hopes after seeing Raman and shagun together somewhere. Raman just relied on a phone call and Ishita decided to move on, once she saw them with her own eyes. This raised my respect for her. She did give a chance till last minute. She trusted him, till she could. But Raman, he has no idea what a gem of a person she is. Yes, there was a misunderstanding, but the effort from his side was not enough. He wasted time thinking and tossing, blaming himself. He didn't react, hence the consequences.
"His selfishness had sucked life out of Ishita and now she was only breathing, with no hopes, dreams and desires"
Once Simmi said, that he should not blame himself for the decisions Ishota made. If Ishita choose Ashok, out of everyone, and he turned to be a bad husband, how can he help?
But the past 6 years, the first 4 years, she kept waiting for him, and the rest of the 2 lives, she was tortured for loving him. Her life was full of him. Maybe her life would have been better, had she not loved him. He left her a huge bundle of pain and misery to deal with before leaving her. That pain would have not been a part of her life, had she not meet him.
Did Ishita really marry Ashok, to show it off to Raman, like raman thinks? Did I miss this somewhere?
"When I look around, I only see mistakes. ..which one is bigger I can't decide"
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
"Some wounds don't heal with time...they olny get worse"
I think the same. Out of Ishita's context, some wounds don't heal, rather they only get worse, leaving a human like a corpse💔
"When I look around, I only see his succes and my failure"
She does not know the full story of Raman. She is seeing him in the place exactly where he dreamt to be. She thought he was happy, but she spent her whole life dealing with pain he left for her. I understand her.
"All my life I've been dependant on others but not anymore"
I felt like she was talking about emotional support even. I could see no warmth in the way she dealt with Maya even. She was devastated.
"Maya indeed saw a very different Ishita....she was vulnerable, emotional like before but she wasn't weak. She wanted to be strong for herself and her daughter and that made Maya happy"
Yes. Even I see a different Ishita. Sia is the only one who managed to bring this out of her. Imagining Ishita now without Sia,is scaring me. She would have been a lifeless corpse. Sia instilled some emotions in her, and made her strong.
"She'd been nursing a bruised heart but she had tried to be a good wife"
The days she must have really tried to move on from Raman. She must have tried to be practical and rational, but it might have hurt her more. I wish you write her state of mind, clearly when she tried to give up on raman.
"He'd easily wiped her out of his life, with no trace of her...and she still had his name on her hands"
Irony. She must have thought. She might have appeaed like a stupid to her, for atill clinging on to his name, while he moved on from her so easily. I wonder will she not think about Shagun, and why did he divorced her, and why is he marrying her again? She would see his love for her, if she thinks for a while, but too occupied in her misery to give a shot.
"All these years he did repent but couldn't actually feel the ache of a crushed heart"
You told me, you wanted Raman to feel the exact pain what Ishita has faced, and that's why the marriage episode. Even though he has seen enough pain, feeljng her pain is important. He would learn a lesson for lifetime.
"He knew his repentance couldn't heal her words. He knew he didn't deserve her...but still he wanted her"
That was what I was asking you. How could he dare to dream to that extent? The past 6 months, his happy life with Sia and Ishita only blinded him. I thought he would never dare to even dream, let alone marry.
"It felt like someone had cracked open his ribs and gripped his bleeding heart in their hands only to nearly squeeze the life out of it"
This pain. I understand. Even Ishita couldn't feel this pain. This pain is exclusively meant for people like Raman. That squeezing heart wali pain, only people like Raman know it. It's pretty bad I say.
Want to write more. But maybe tomorrow 😊
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