Posted:
Originally posted by: nuomi.riceball
Love it.
It's so good.
Can't wait for the next update.
Can you update sooner?
Thank you Nuomi ji 😛
I will try.. but I have some projects that i'm working on.. uni work 😭
Originally posted by: nuomi.riceball
Love it.
It's so good.
Can't wait for the next update.
Can you update sooner?
Chapter 6
Bela stood motionless in the middle of the bedroom, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. Had I really remembered something? She felt exactly the same as before, and it wasn't a moment of clarity like she'd imagined. She'd simply accepted Mahir's invitation to be part of his secret plan. The irony being that, she couldn't remember her exact phrasingthe apparent reminiscence. But a timid feeling made her shudder. For all intents and purposes, she might have rememberedmaybe.
Mahir's reaction was also forever engraved in her mind. His contagious smile and the way his eyes sparkled with hope and anticipation made her actually believefor an instantthat she had indeed remembered. It was as if his elation had diffused through an unseen channel between them. She could still feel his warm hands cupping her face, his hair drizzling over her eyes, and his heart pulsatingin sync, with hers. Bela was mesmerized that something as minuscule as a response brought Mahirand her, so much joy.
She panned her eyes around the room once more, imagining events that might have taken place between the serene blue walls, events she no longer remembered, events that fleeted without warning. Memories of midnight talks, whispered secrets, and hushed laughter that escaped with an early spring breeze. She dismissed the emotional cocktail coursing through her veins and continued to get dressed, opting for a pair of capris and a pink top. She grabbed a visor hanging in the closet and a pair of keds from next to the bed.
She then stepped out into the hallway, finding Mahir, still in his pajamas, holding a squirming Dhruv.
"Oh good, you're ready!" Mahir exclaimed, that same contagious smile still displayed on his face
"Yeah, is this ok?" She asked, gesturing her hands up and down her torso.
"Yeah, it's perfect." Mahir said, narrowing the distance between them. "You're not using the crutches?"
"No, they hurt me a lot. So I'll try without it today."
"Okay," Mahir said, placing a minion cap on Dhurv's head. "Dhruv here is ready, I just have to get myself and Meera dressed."
"Do you need any help? I can take Dhruv."
"Okay..." Mahir said, lowering Dhruv to her arms. "I made breakfast. So feel free to pick at anything you want in the kitchen. Dhruv and Meera already ate, which accounts for the mess."
"Okay," Bela chuckled, "I'll go do that." Bela hoisted Dhruv on her hip and began making her way carefully down the stairs.
"Oh..." Mahir shouted from the top of the stairs. "How is your finger?"
"It's better..." Bela smiled at his concern towards her.
"Good!"
Bela reached the kitchen, finding the mess Mahir had mentioned. Sippy cups and half-eaten pancakes were forgotten on brightly colored plates, while a frying pan, coated with pancake batter, sat on the stove. She walked over to the table, retrieved two pancakes, and poured herself the rest of the orange juice.
A toy car under the table caught Dhruv's eyes, causing him to slide from her lap and crawl under the table. She watched him compose engine sounds as he dragged the car around the kitchen floor. As soon as Bela was done eating, she began to instinctively clean the kitchen, tossing the leftovers and washing the dishes. The minute she averted her eyes from Dhruv, he knocked over the juice container, spilling it on the table and floor.
"Uh-oh," Dhruv said, watching the juice drip from the table.
"What happened, Dhruv?" Bela asked, watching Dhruv coyly press his lips together.
"Juicy," Dhruv said, pointing to the yellow liquid oozing from the table to the floor.
Just then, Mahir entered the kitchen holding Meera, her hair in complete disarray. The beginnings of a ponytail evident, but not yet finalized. "What happened here?"
"Someone," Bela gestured her head towards Dhruv, "knocked the juice off the table."
"Oh," Mahir said with a chuckle. He panned his eyes around the kitchen, marveling its neatness. "You've cleaned."
"Yeah, I thought I should."
Mahir smiled thankfully at her. "How about this, I'll wipe up this mess while you fix her hair." Mahir said, gesturing to Meera's jumbled curls.
"Okay." Bela said, gathering Dhruv and Meera and leading them to the family room.
Bela sat on the couch with Meera between her legs, looking at the tangled mess on her head. She fiddled with her hair, twisting her curls between her fingers, before settling on two pigtails. The little girl smiled happily and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Bela's heart melted at Meera's simple gesture. Soon after, Mahir entered the room with a backpack over his shoulder and a red cooler in hand.
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
It was such a beautiful day; the sun was high above, and its rays were warm and inviting. The gentle summer breeze played with the tree leaves choreographing a beautiful dance. It was the perfect day to spend at the park, and an ideal, inexpensive family fun. However, the traffic was predictably slow for a Sunday, and the kids were becoming restless in their seats. Bela could hear the impatient thumping of Meera's feet against Mahir's seat.
"R'we there yet?" Meera asked.
"Almost, kiddo." Mahir replied.
It wasn't long before Meera recognized the park, and bounced in her seat, pointing out to the wooden playground and the water fountain as they drove past it to the parking lot. Dhruv stretched his head to see what Meera was showing, but had no luck, and as the car came to a stop, he itched to be let out of his car seat.
"Out mamma!" Dhurv demanded, tugging at the seat's straps.
Bela opened the rear door, unbuckled Dhruv from his seat, and lowered him to the ground. He stood by her, looking timidly at the other people on the parking lot. He looked up at Bela, a familiar lazy smile tugging the corner of his lips. Bela held his hand while watching Mahir removed the cooler and the backpack from the trunk. Even in a simple t-shirt shorts, Mahir looked really good.
"Let's go." Mahir said, shutting the trunk.
Meera and Dhruv walked a few steps ahead, too excited to wait. Bela and Mahir sauntered behind, his hand finding and interlacing with hers. His firm, but gentle grasp made her whole body tingle. She wondered if she was blushing. They walked to a nice shady area near the playground and the fountain.
"We can stay here." Mahir said, lowering the backpack to the ground.
Bela looked around, realizing it was a great spot to settle. "Yeah, it's nice here."
"C'mon," Mahir said, reaching inside the backpack, "Let's put some sunscreen."
"Ok."
"You can do Meera, while I do Dhruv."
"So, I get the big one?"
"Okay, you can have Dhruv," Mahir grinned cunningly. "He is all yours."
Bela sat with Dhruv on her lap, watching Mahir smile while he rubbed sunscreen on Meera, who stood perfectly still. She emulated him, oozing the white cream on her hand, but as soon as she began rubbing it on Dhruv's arms, he began fussing and sliding away from her grip. She held him with one hand, but Dhruv wasn't having it. He threw his hands in the air, not obliging to Bela's pleas.
"C'mon Dhruv, just a little bit..."
"No mamma! Nooo!"
Bela's eyes darted towards Mahir, who wore a smug smile on his face, pretending not to notice the ordeal taking place. He knew Dhruv was going to fuss. But she was not giving up. Bela blew her bangs out of her face, locked Dhruv between her legs, and continued to rub sunscreen on his arms and legs. But when she turned Dhruv around, his tiny hands went immediately to hide his face. Bela intuitively took a drop of sunscreen and smeared her nose.
"Mamma's silly Dhruv," Meera said, pointing to the smudge on her nose.
Dhruv peeked hesitantly through his fingers and extended his hand to Bela. She dabbed his fingers with sunscreen, which he immediately brought it to his face, doing the work of spreading for her. She rubbed the excess off, and looked at Mahir victoriously. He couldn't help but applaud. Bela picked Dhruv up, hoisted him on her hip, and took a bow, mouthing, 'Thank you' to an imaginary crowd.
"Can we go play pappa?" Meera said, pulling impatiently on Mahir's shirt.
"Yeah, go on."
"Yay!" Meera exclaimed, bouncing on her feet.
"Hold your brother's hand, Meera!" Bela shouted as Meera and Dhruv scurried towards the playground. They quickly began jumping up and down, climbing, and sliding on things. Mahir and Bela sat back on a bench, watching their little ones play.
"Do we come here often?" Bela asked, her eyes focused on Meera and Dhruv
"Yeah, but we haven't been here in a little while."
"Since the accident?"
"Yeah." Mahir said pensively. "Since the accident."
"That's almost two months ago."
"Yeah, I know." Mahir said, shifting on the seat. "It just wasn't the same, you know?"
"Yeah." Guilt was yet again riding her conscience. "I'm sorry..." Bela muttered.
"About what?"
"Just... I don't know..."
"Don't be. I'm really glad you're here now." Mahir said reaching for her hand. "They,"Mahir gestured with his head to the playground, "are really happy you're here too." Bela nodded, smiling sheepishlyit always amazed her how Mahir always knew the right thing to say.
It didn't take long for the kids to come running from the playground, their clothes stamped with their tiny, smudged handprints. Sometimes Bela couldn't believe she had taken part in creating those perfect little beings. The fact that they called her mamma and wrapped their tiny arms around her neck assured her she was where she was supposed to be.
"Can we go to the fountain, mamma?" Meera pleaded, sweat beaded on her forehead.
"Yeah, it's getting hot, uh?" Bela said, cleaning a smudge off her cheek. "Let's go to the fountain."
They walked, hand-in-hand, swinging the children over the sidewalk, eliciting their giggles as they pulled them up in the air. They stopped every so often to marvel at something either Meera or Dhruv found crawling on the ground. It usually turned out to be ant or a small piece on tinfoil, but whatever it was, it never ceased to amaze them. Bela marveled at the world seen through her children's eyes, a world where she belonged.
Meera was the first to venture out, running towards the spurts of water. She raised her hands every time the water sprayed, as if to catch the trickling drops mid air. Dhruv was hesitant, hiding behind Bela. She tried to persuade him to follow Meera, but he wouldn't budge. So she rolled the end of her capris and marched with him among the spurting water jets. Dhruv giggled, wiping his face as the water sprayed him. Mahir followed suit, chasing after them.
Bela saw other families with their children, and she suddenly felt whole as she gazed at her ownbeautiful, she might addfamily. She then lowered Dhruv to the ground, letting him run along with the other kids. She stepped away from the water fest and lingered by a bench close by. Her leg ached from all the walking she was doing today. Mahir soon came to join her.
"Leg hurting?" Mahir said, watching her stroke her thigh.
"Little bit."
"We'll be heading home soon."
Bela's thoughts were distant from the throbbing pain shooting up and down her leg. "Look at them! They don't care how wet they get."
"I know..."
"How are we going to get them dry?"
"Oh, I brought towels and a change of clothes for both."
"Thinking one step ahead."
"Not really, I'm just copying what you did." Mahir said, shifting closer to her, "you were always the one thinking ahead, always on top of things."
Bela was suddenly quiet, her gaze fixed on the two bubbly children playing by the fountain. "You're pretty amazing with them."
"Mmmh... "
"Really, you are an amazing dad." Bela said genuinely.
Bela and Mahir continued watching Meera and Dhruv running around until they got too wet to move. Then they scooped up their soaked, shivering children and brought them back to where they left their stuff. Meera clutched tightly to Bela's neck, her little body overcome with goose bumps. Bela held her close, not minding the water tickling her neck from Meera's pigtails.
After changing the kids into dry clothes, it was lunchtime. Mahir had packed sandwiches, juice boxes, and other goodies, which they proceeded to eat. Bela chuckled; watching Dhruv ooze mayo onto his lap and Meera squirt the juice box on her clothes, the purple stain contrasting the vivid yellow of her shirt.
"Ok," Mahir said, standing up to brush off the crumbs. "I think it's time to go."
"Yep, I think so too." Bela said, eyeing their children slumped over the picnic table.
"Mamma, I need to go to the bathroom."
"Oh, okay." Bela said, panning her eyes around the park.
"I'll take her," Mahir said scooping Meera in his arms. "The bathrooms are over there. You don't want to further strain your leg."
"Okay, I'll stay here and pack up things."
Bela began collecting the trash around the site, tossing them in the nearby trashcan. She twisted the kids' wet clothes to remove the access water, folded them, and placed them in a plastic bag inside the backpack. She drained the melted ice from the cooler and began situating the leftovers inside. She was almost done when Mahir returned with Meera.
"We're back," Mahir said.
"I'm almost done here..." She said, closing the last of the fruit containers.
"Where is Dhruv?" Mahir asked, looking around.
"What?" Bela said confused. "I thought he..."
"Where is he?" Mahir's voice thick with alarm.
"I don't..." Bela felt dizzy, her knees threatening to give out from under her.
"He was here." Mahir said, running his hand frantically through his hair. "You were supposed to..." Mahir trailed off, his breath caught in his throat, his heart pounding in his chest. "Dhruv!" Mahir shouted. "Stay here. Watch her!" He pointed to Meera.
Dread crept through Bela like the afternoon shadows on a cold winter's day. The gentle, afternoon breeze was no longer soothing, and the rustling of tree leaves were foreboding cacophony to her ears. The agonizing feeling in her chest translated as tears cascading down her cheeks. She had been alone with Mahir for less than five minutes and managed to lose him. What kind of mother was she?
Time seemed to slow, the seconds felt like minutes and the minutes felt like hours, until she saw Mahir return, carrying Dhruv in his arms. Bela immediately launched herself towards them, lifting Dhruv from Mahir's arms, kissing him, and wiping away the traces of her tears that spilled onto him. "I'm sorry Dhruv." She repeated. I'm sorry.
They walked back to the car in silence, eyeing the dark clouds in the horizon. It looked like another storm was headed their way. Mahir hadn't said a word since the incident and his quiet demeanor only inflamed the festering guilt inside her. The drive home was equally silent. The kids, exhausted, slept in their car seats, while Mahir didn't avert his eyes from the road. Bela watched disconsolate as the first raindrops trickled along the windshield.
Arriving home, Mahir carried their drowsy children upstairs for their nap. Bela lingered behind, settling on the living room couch, curled in a puddle of remorse. Her conscience suffocated her, grasping tightly to any hope she had of being the woman depicted in the pictures. The tears came effortlessly as she listened to the raindrops pound the window as the rain intensified.
Resisting naptime, Meera came downstairs, and found Bela lying on the couch. She climbed onto Bela's lap and nestled cozily in her arms. Bela embraced the little girl, stroking her hair until she surrendered to sleep. The thought of anything happening to their children brought her to tears once more. Bela began wiping her cheeks when she heard Mahir's footsteps descending the stairs. She listened to him quietly enter the living roomnot meeting his gaze.
"Want me to bring her upstairs?" Mahir asked softly.
"Sure," Bela replied defeated.
She watched Mahir lift Meera's limp body from her arms, her eyes fluttering open as he positioned her head on his shoulders, and carried her upstairs. Bela reluctantly got up and followed, entering their bedroom and closing the door behind her. She took a cold shower, in a vain attempt to cool her conscience, and immediately climbed under the comforter. She felt like a gerbil in a wheelrun, run, run, no traction, no ground, and all an illusion.
Mahir returned to the empty living room and collapsed on the couch with a heavy load on his shoulders. He had overreacted today. He pretended not to notice, but he saw all the tears Bela had shed. He mentally defended himself, reasoning that he had been at a loss; and scared didn't begin to describe his state of mindpanic came close. But now that the adrenaline fog had subsided, he could finally think clearly. Bela had felt the same way.
The thunder's roar strengthened as the storm intensified. Mahir reluctantly stood up and headed upstairs to check on the kids. He found them asleep, slumbering through the eye of the storm. He walked by their bedroom and stopped in front of the door. He knew Bela hated thunderstorms. He hesitated but slowly opened the door, finding her propped against the headboard, clutching her knees.
"Hey," Mahir whispered.
"Hi," Bela's was voice small and frail.
"It seems the storm isn't letting up."
"Yeah..."
He watched her wince as another series of thunder and lightning roared above them. Her damp curls created a wet trail on her shirtor was it her tears? "Look," Mahir murmured, walking towards the bed and sitting at the edge. "I'm sorry." His was voice dense with remorse.
"It was all my fault." Bela said, her voice thick with tears. "I should've been watching him. I was distracted and..."
"Hey," Mahir said, moving closer to her. "It wasn't..."
"No," she interrupted, gesturing into the air. "I had to watch him, and I didn't..." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "He could've gotten hurt..."
"He is fine though." Mahir said, gathering her to him.
"B-But what if..." Bela bit her lips in a fruitless attempt to keep it from quivering. "What if Dhruv..."
"No what ifs," Mahir said, embracing her trembling body.
"I don't think I can do this," she said, slowly inching away.
Mahir's heart fell to the pit of his stomach. "Don't say that..."
"It's too much...I don't know how to be a mom." She pausedreality toying with her. "I don't even know who I am."
"No," Mahir whispered, shaking his head vehemently. "Don't say that!"
"You guys are better off..."
"Don't give up on me," Mahir pleaded; his eyes burning with unshed tears.
"Mahir..."
"Bela," he interrupted. "I-I just...I can't without you." Tears were slowly unleashing from the back of his eyes. "The day of the accident the doctors had no hope, and part of me died. I didn't want to go on..." Mahir choked on his words. "But here you are... Against all odds." He pulled away slightly, cupping her face in his hands.
"And they..." He said, pointing towards the hall. "They are a constant reminder of you."
Bela burrowed her head into his chest, unleashing all her sorrows and frustrations. She clutched to his shirt, hiccupping as her sobs intensified. Mahir held herstroking her soft curls, whispering, "We need you," repeatedlyin her ear. For the first time she could see that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't a train. When her sobs subsided, he turned her to face himher eyes swollen and red, her body still quivering slightly.
"I need you," Mahir said, brushing his thumbs across her cheeks.
"I need you too," she confessed.
Mahir slid down the headboard, holding Bela in a tight embrace. He kissed her forehead and laid his head down on the pillow. He felt her breathing calm and her body fuse slowly with his. Bela still winced every time a distant thunder roared, but she felt secure, for the eye of the storm had passed.
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