freindship and differences

I just want to share my complicated friendship

me be anshi and my fried being priya

anshi and priya became friend due to destiny as anshi was talkative and Priya was silent student sitting on last bench corner due to anshi talkative nature in 4^th class teacher made her sit with Priya but opposite happened both became talkative and as a result teacher made them both sit on first bench and thus the friendship of both started

anshi never liked Priya because she was not active student or known student of class ir anything special but don't know there was certain pull between both Priya from the first day only don't know due to what commected with anshi and she just wanted this friendship but anshi never wanted Priya don't know exactly why but there was a pull she didn't wanted but liked the friendship and thus the friendship continued in 4^th class

but when both gone to 5^th class anshi wanted to get ride of her but Priya from start wanted this friendship and thus by force she sat with anshi and thus they both became mutual friend slowly and both accepted each other

but anshi was always insecure of Priya because Priya was rich and anshi mother always used to think sechduled caste as some lower so anshi somewhere was not okay although her brain never liked her mother thought so there was always a inferiority insecurity jelousy from anshi side and sometime when Priya used to tell her about herself or many thing she used to get irritated and thus used to something to hurt her but don't know what was the connection between both they used to patch up without any argument after sometime and this process always continued and both never used to speak about the issue but just used to fight and after some silence used to speak

anshi was having some problems in her life as I have told and many more in her own life but Priya was not having anything

anshi and Priya were friend but anshi was never able to show it she always used to be in battle or insecurity jelousy possessiveness afraid of loosing her and thus end up doing something but destiny never allowed both of them to get separated

once I remember how anshi made effort to be separated from Priya but exactly that time teacher told that he will make every student sit according to random roll no. and destiny made them sit again together

both till 10^th class remain friend with many up and downs due to this destiny

but in 11^th class I feel Priya had became mature and understood and this friendship is toxic and thus took decision to be separated and they used to sit on corner of two adjacent bench anshi understood her mistake and wanted a new beginning but Priya has took the decision and anshi was also having ego so she also never made much effort and let it go

although the friendship has gone but their connection was too deep as they used to even talk after that a lot but eventually 12^th class ended and anshi got admitted in iisc and Priya in vit and thus they got separated they never tried to even contacted through social media anshi tried but Priya now not wanted at any cost even when anshi called her she got her no. to rejected list and thus anshi even left trying and the friendship finally broken but if it really broken

recently anshi by mistake got into chat with one girl who coincidently came to her college due to seminar who was from Priya college and they got aquinted and when she came to know about me being anshi from xyz school she immediately knew me that you are Priya friend and I got to know from her that Priya always used to take her name and used to tell about their friendship

anyway I am not justifying Nandini but I feel somewhere I was nadini who was having somewhat same friend like mauli

so I feel that Nandini was always somewhat insecure of Nandini confidence her family as apparently mauli was having no major problem and somewhere there was always not total like from Nandini for mauli she always used to feel that mauli has this much and wanted that mauli would do more for her it was not like she not loved mauli but it is always human nature that we get jelous insecure inspite of how much we try to control ourselves and that's why I feel Nandini not gave second thought about having any affair

although in my wildest dream I would not do this with anyone or I don't know

but today I got to know where I was wrong what is wrong or right because I am educated and exposed to new world I never used to have any discrimination for sc but sometime my mother and relative somewhere used to manipulate me

I know I was I know whatever I did was wrong reason may be whatever but I was wrong

So I feel cvs need only to show that mauli is wrong and show us the altar ego of Nandini not the angelic one

Anyway I miss my friend I regret for everything and always think if it is possible destiny will make us meet again but I don't want I want my friendship back but I am afraid that if again I may hurt her so I don't want to meet her again

I don't know life is really complicated I have closed the chapter but yet it is open and destiny always open it somehow I don't want destiny to again open it

Anyway I feel there is destiny and soulmates and juzbaat but they are wrong if we act on it it is necessary to not act upon it and control ourselves

Today we human are here and ruling the earth because we were able to control ourselves and ffight with our wrong juzzbaat and we know wrong and right but no single person or living creature is happy and that's why we need to control ourselves and wake our life and everyone life more happy and make our life simple

You know where I live there are a lot of birds and especially pegions and a lot of tress but I observe how they used to fight for a single particular tree and branch inspite of having too much space and no fear as no one kill them

So I feel we living being really don't know to live with happiness because we are not able to control our juzzbaat

Don't try to just the action of juzbaat ya it can be wrong or right

Friendhip please hold it if you have because you not get second chance once you will realise what you lost just will regret or keep it in one corner of your heart

Really I don't know what I and Priya feel for both because there was always something even before 4^th class when we were in different section and have not seen talked to each other but in assembly time or any merger time we somehow used to notice each other what was that I don't know

Really we don't know anything in our life