
Previously On...
Armaan and Riddhima finally talk.
Track 20 - Rewrite The Stars, Zac Efron & Zendaya
Armaan tossed and turned the entire night, sleep miles away from him. This new dynamic of his relationship with Riddhima had caught him off guard. And, he didn't know how to feel.
Riddhima's words echoed in his mind on loop. Before everything, you were my best friend.
Truth was, Riddhima had never been just a friend for Armaan. They'd always been more. No matter how hard both of them tried to deny it, neither of them thought of their relationship as friendship. Even during the darkest times, when things had gone incredibly south between the two of them - when Riddhima found out about the bet, when she found out that Armaan already knew about the adoption, when she found out that Armaan had pretended to be Muskaan's boyfriend - and they hadn't even been on talking terms, they'd still been more than friends.
According to Armaan anyway. He'd been far too in love with Riddhima for most of his twenties to think of her as just a friend. He might not have been vocal about his feelings, especially in front of Riddhima, but they'd always been there. Burning inside of him like an inferno.
And, the depth of his feelings for her had never diminished over the course of their internship. There was a time when Armaan didn't know how to not love her. It had taken him a long time to let go off that part of his life. Getting over Riddhima had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. But, after a lot of blood and tears, he'd finally done it. He was proud of himself for doing it too. Now, this newfound label to their relationship scared him. He didn't know what to do.
Another thing was Riddhima herself. After their conversation, her position in their relationship had changed. The course of one talk had made her the dominant. She'd taken the initiative, the first step. She'd come to him.
In all the years they'd spent together, Riddhima had never done that. Ever. It had always been Armaan, letting go off his ego, forgetting his pain, who'd tried to mend their relationship. Riddhima had never had the will or the courage to do so. She'd always been so complacent. How was Armaan supposed to deal with this assertive Riddhima? He didn't know.
Unable to sleep, he did the one thing he knew would give him peace. He lost himself in his music.
Riddhima, on the other hand, had the best night's sleep she'd had in a very long time. Maybe since the day her annulment with Sid had been finalized. She was Armaan's friend again. His friend. It wasn't what she would have preferred, she wished for a more intimate name for herself, but she would make do with what she got.
That night, her thoughts were dominated with happy memories of her time with Armaan. The love they'd shared, the love that had made 2 years of her life absolutely beautiful, rushed back in. It was like a tangible feeling. For sometime, she could feel it in the air. Armaan's arms around her, his body pressed closed to hers, his eyes gazing at her intently, his nose nuzzling her hair, her neck, her cheek, his lips kissing her forehead, the words, I love you, Basket, spoken fervently in her ear. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the feelings coursing through her body. It was the most loved she'd felt since the day she'd gotten engaged to Armaan.
With a wide smile on her face, she fell asleep, still dreaming about Armaan and her and their happily ever after.
Morning dawned beautifully for Riddhima. She couldn't wait to spend more time with Armaan. Knowing that they would be spending most of the day alone sent shivers down her spine. She hadn't felt this giddy excitement and jittery nervousness for so long and it made her feel so good.
"Good morning, Ridzy," Anjy greeted her as she came down the stairs, dressed in a beautiful red anarkali. She'd taken ages to get dressed today. Her outfit needed to be perfect for her day out with Armaan. She needed to feel worthy of being seen with him. And, she wanted to make him happy. So, what better choice than red? His favourite colour? At first, she'd thought that dressing in red might give him the wrong impression, but then, she'd shrugged that feeling off. She dressed a lot in red. Her wardrobe was full of red clothes. Over the years, it had been one way to feel closer to Armaan. Seeing the colour red, no matter where, always reminded her of Armaan, of their time together. Red had been such a dominant colour in their relationship - always important. Red, the colour of love, the colour of togetherness. Her Armaan's favourite colour. Yes, red held a lot of happy memories for her. Which is why, she dressed in it a lot.
"Morning Di," she answered, taking a seat beside her at the dining table. She greeted the others who were also there - Jaanhavi and Sid and Atul.
"So, all set for today, Di?" Jaanhavi asked her.
Riddhima nodded. "All set," she replied. Jaanhavi grinned.
"Thank you so much for doing this. It really means a lot to me," she told Riddhima.
Riddhima laughed her off. "Come on, Jaanhavi. Isme kya thank you? You're family. It's the least I could do for you."
"I know, but still. It does mean a lot. Rohan told me that you and Maani don't get along very well, so I'm really glad that you've volunteered to spend so much time with him, just for the sake of my wedding," Jaanhavi explained.
"Don't worry about it. Armaan and I have reached an understanding about it. We're friends now," Riddhima told Jaanhavi. Her declaration made Atul & Anjali look at her questioningly while Sid gave her an encouraging smile. He was really happy that their relationship had taken a step forward.
"Really?" Anjali asked, skeptical. "Since when?"
"Since last night," Riddhima answered her elder sister. "We both thought that we shouldn't behave like such kids. I apologized for being rude and he agreed that it would be better if we were friends, seeing as we have to spend the next few days together. Alone," she added.
Anjali looked unconvinced but nodded. She didn't think that Armaan and Riddhima were capable of being just friends, but seeing her sister so happy about this recent development, she didn't have the heart to discourage her from anything. She'd talk to Riddhima later, she decided. After she'd talked everything over with Atul.
Armaan, on the other hand, was freaking out. He'd woken Rahul up at the crack of dawn to talk to him.
"Rahul, I'm freaking out, man," he'd told him after shaking him awake.
Seeing Armaan so nervous had made Rahul on edge.
"What happened?" Rahul asked.
"I have to go out with Riddhima today, na!" Armaan exclaimed. "To finalize a new venue."
"Oh, yes," Rahul nodded. "Are you fine? Do you want me to go instead?"He asked, trying to give Armaan an out.
Armaan shook his head frantically. "No, no, no. I don't want her to get the impression that I don't want to be with her," he explained.
Rahul laughed. His friend was so in over his head, and he didn't even realize.
Hearing him laugh, Armaan scowled. "Don't laugh, Rahul. This is serious. Look, I don't want her to feel like... Like being alone with her is something that I dread. I... I don't know what to do, dude. In the past couple of years, I haven't even thought about her except in a passing, general kind of way. She was out of my life for good, but now she's back and I'm so confused! I don't know how to behave, what to say, what to do. It's like I'm 23 years old again and she's Basket and I'm still so confused about what I feel for her," Armaan ranted.
Rahul stopped laughing on hearing him. His best friend was in a precarious situation and he needed to be there for him.
"Armaan, relax. Everything will be fine. It's nothing. You're just going there and giving your opinion to El about what you like. You don't even have to talk to her. I know it'll be awkward, but it'll only be for a few hours," Rahul tried to pacify him.
"See, that's the thing. I can't ignore her," he said, and proceeded to explain to him what had happened last night. Riddhima, coming to talk to him, earnestly apologizing for being so rude, asking him to be her friend.
"And, you said yes, didn't you?" Rahul asked him rhetorically. He already knew that Armaan had said yes.
Armaan nodded his head defeatedly. "I don't want this vacuum to exist between the two of us," he explained. "So much has happened. She's been the one thing in my life who has changed it so much - for better and for worse. But, underneath it all, she's always been there in some way or the other. It's like she's the only constant in my life, in various roles. And, she's familiar. I... I don't know. It's like when I'm with her, I can't help it. Sometimes, I feel like just forgetting all of it and taking her in my arms and never letting her go, but then, I feel betrayed by everything that she did. And, there's one nagging part of me which doesn't given a damn about what happens to her or with her. I feel like I've already changed myself and my life so much because of her, but I don't want to do it anymore. I want to live my life the way I want it, and not to please her or accommodate her, like I did the last time. She's already dictated almost 6 years of my life (3 during the show, and then almost 3 that it took Armaan to stop thinking about her) and I don't want her to have that power over me anymore, Rahul."
"Armaan," Rahul sighed. He hugged Armaan tight, providing him comfort wordlessly. "It's okay," he said. "I know you're confused, but you have to do this. For Jaanhavi. It's her wedding. You can't let anything ruin it."
Armaan nodded obediently. He wouldn't let his emotions come in the way of Jaanhavi's happiness.
"I know that it's going to be difficult, but you have to do it. Just treat her like you treat Anjali. Don't single her out or initiate any sort of conversation. Keep your contact to the minimum. Help Rohan and Jaanhavi plan the whole shinding. But, don't be rude or distant when she talks. And, try to keep the talking only to wedding related stuff. You don't want to know what she's been upto in the last 7 years. And, if she wants to know about you, don't go in depth about everything. You can be friends without knowing every single detail of each other's lives, you know?"
Armaan listened to his words intently. Rahul was right. Just because they were friends didn't mean that he had to lay his heart out for her. He'd already done that in the past with less than fruitful results. They'd be casual friends, like many of his colleagues at the hospital, who he talked to when he bumped into them, but didn't single out for conversation. He could do that.
"You're right," he told Rahul. "I can do this."
Rahul smiled at him. There was a small part of Rahul that thought that maybe he should do something about the situation they were in, try to resolve it in a way that Armaan & Riddhima ended up together again, especially after listening to the conversation between Riddhima and Muskaan the other day, but then he remembered his own conversation with Riddhima and how cold she'd been and decided against it. Armaan had already cried many undeserved tears over Riddhima. Yes, she'd made him incredibly happy at one point of time, but she'd made him even sadder at the end of it all. It had taken Armaan a long time to get over all that she'd done. And now, he was finally in a place where the past betrayal didn't hurt him as much as it had.
When Rahul had first met Armaan all those years ago, he had been drowning in his pain and loss. He cried himself to sleep every night, he had constant nightmares about the day that Riddhima told him that she was choosing Sid over him. He didn't talk properly, he didn't eat properly, he was always in his own head, reliving every moment with Riddhima - the good and the bad. The abandonment had started causing his panic and anxiety attacks. His therapist had had to work with Armaan for almost 3 years to get them in control.
Even now, Armaan got panic attacks on occasion, even if they weren't as bad as the ones he used to get. But, even the mild ones scared Rahul. Before New York, Rahul had always known Armaan to be a calm, collected man who could handle everything that life threw at him. But, Riddhima's departure from his life had changed Armaan so much. He'd become a vulnerable shell of the person Rahul had known in college and then again during his internship. And, it scared Rahul to the core, seeing Armaan so shook.
He knew he wouldn't be able to handle it again if Riddhima did something to hurt Armaan again, because he knew Armaan might not survive another heartbreak, especially from her. So, he said a huge f**k you to the part of him that wanted Armaan to end up with Riddhima and decided that he would be there for Armaan and try to limit his contact with the girl who'd broken his heart one too many times.
xxx
So, of course I couldn't not show Armaan panicking over his newfound relationship status with Riddhima, so here we go!
I hope you guys like it. And understand where Armaan is coming from. A lot of surprises and drama is coming up soon. Just a few more chapters to go. :P
I'm really looking forward to that and cause I'm a b**** I need you guys to anticipate stuff, which is why I'm just dropping this bombshell now so you guys stick around, now that you've read your most anticipated chapter already. :P
233