Chapter 32:
There was still a pin-drop silence in the hall of the temple after the lady had completed her song. All the devotees were sitting with joined hands, eyes closed and emerged in the flow of the euphony of devotion. The holy lady opened her eyes and joined her hands in front of the idol.
Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! The crowd chanted together in a disciplined way and touched the ground out of devotion in order to seek the blessings from the almighty. The lady chanted the hymn along with them... Suddenly her eyes fell on a young face... a bright face with two bright, confident eyes. The young man, rather a boy almost, was sitting at the right of the second row. His head was held high among all the lowered heads of the devotees, hence differentiating him promptly from the other common men; there was no sign of devotion in those bright eyes, rather a strange light of dignified mesmerisation was reflecting from those with a little shade of cloud of questions. There was a slight smile on his lips, probably coming from the amazement of the melody; but that is not enough to hide the determination and enthusiasm behind those questions. She looked at his eyes; he was also looking at her; both their eyes met. The lady smiled in her mind. The hall was slowly being emptied as the people were leaving the temple in a queue directed by the volunteer priests; the lady also got up in order to leave... But her eyes were still on that youth with bright eyes. He was also looking at her without a bit hesitation; as if he is trying to get the answers of his questions through the orbs of her eyes...
"One minute! Suddenly the young man stood up, literally moving everyone with large shock. It was not expected that the whole crowd will just stand steel for a random young lad; but there was something strange in his voice which compelled them to abide by his wish!
Hence they got angry... "Why did you shout? Don't we have any other works? Someone bashed from behind.
"Pardon, My Lady, I want to talk to you. Without any hesitation in eyes, the young man was still looking straight at the lady. "I have some questions in my mind. Would you answer those?
What an audacity! He wants to question her that too right in Vrindavan, the land of Krishna! And who on earth has ever heard to address the holy woman so carelessly as My Lady! What does he think? He is the emperor of the whole world or what??
Though the crowd was angry; the divine lady had no sign of rage on her face. She smiled affectionately looking at him. "Come here, my boy... Ask whatever you want.
"Sorry for interrupting rudely, My Lady... He said in a modest tone after sitting closer to her. "I have heard a lot about you, your devotion and your songs... But what truly amazed me, is the story of your struggle and your courage of breaking the barrier. I felt there is a certain power behind this courage, which compelled you to win the struggles. When I heard your songs first, I felt the presence of that very power. It somehow felt that very power is drawing me as well. I have listened to many more beautiful voices and melodies in my life; but never ever any of them pulled me towards them this way... None of them saturated my heart like your song did...as if the God himself showered his blessings on me through your melody! I felt I am so close to that source of power when I heard your voice, still I was unable to touch it. I want you to ask, Madam, that what is the real source of your divinity?
"I have no power or divinity my son! The lady smiled. "I am just a common woman, just like you... I only try to reach to my Giridhar through the melody. When I sing I flow in his love only. He is the source of all energy, he is the source of all melody; he is the source of all colours; he is the source of mine- my existence... She ran her fingers through the strings of her instrument... "Mai sawre ki rang rachi; saji singar bandh pag ghunghru
lok laz taje nachi
"Is it really possible? He uttered in an amazed voice. "You left everything behind you just being driven by your love for an idol made of clay? How can someone love a doll like this?
"You see the idol of clay, my son... I see my Lord in the idol. She smiled. "We all are mere idols in front of this great universe my son; all are the dolls of my Pravu's hand. From that point of view all the human beings fall in love with the dolls only... and under the illusion they creates a different world of love...
"Pardon, My Lady. I didn't want to hurt your beliefs. But I want to know! Does the God really exist in this small idol? Do you really see Him in this? I have heard a lot of myths about you. First I had overlooked them thinking as rumours, but after seeing you it seems I have no hesitation in believing those... Are they true my lady? Has this idol of your God really protected you physically from all the adversities? How can the source of all energy live in this small idol?
"Do you believe in the power of belief? The lady asked him instead of answering.
"No... I believe in the power of work. I believe in the power of reality. He answered.
"It seems so. You look like a self-made personality. Your beliefs are also measured like you every step. The lady looked affectionately. "But dear, you also sustain an unbreakable rock of belief inside your heart. The belief that give you the strength, the motivation and the spirit to live... the belief you have on your love...
The young man stared speechless. The woman touched his hand with a lot of empathy.
"The pain of love is very evident in your eyes. That pain drives you away every moment, even in your dreams...But that does not have the power to outshine the ray of confidence that reflects from your eyes... the confidence you have on yourself and the power of your love. You have the determination that you will overcome that pain a day... Believe the power of belief for once, my son; you will achieve what you want one day... You will achieve your love!
"Have you achieved your love, Madam? He asked in a mesmerized tone.
"No dear! A light melancholy touched the lady's voice. "Perhaps my power of belief is not enough for Him. But I won't give up... I will keep on searching him. In my childhood I used to find him in the idol; today I can feel him everywhere... but he does not let me to see him, to touch him. I know he will be defeated in front of my will-force one day... She looked at him and smiled. "You are too young to understand the power of belief today. Maybe you won't understand now... But one day you will feel it; you will understand the meaning of my search!
"Aab to darash dedo, Kunjabihari, manwa hay bechain...
Manmohan Kanhaa, Vinati kare din rain...
He suddenly felt goose-bumps. His heart got an emotional jolt. Power of belief... Power of love... Are they even more powerful than an emotionally helpless emperor? Are they really able to give him what he wants?
The lady again looked at him and smiled. Then she uttered in a low voice. "You will achieve your love one day, my son. You have never learnt to lose. You have always won in your life... You have to win in the war of love, Jalaluddin Mohammad... Maybe History also expects you to win as well!
Being stunned, Jalal looked at her eyes. Her eyes were full with a peaceful childlike smile...
"How...how you...
"Don't worry. The lady laughed. "I cannot read future or have any divine power. I just guessed... Your brightness, your confidence, your structure and your questions told me that you are special.
Jalal could not say anything more. He just bent his head in front of the soothing personality. The lady touched her head slowly.
"One more request I have... Jalal uttered in a sunk and saturated voice. "I cannot tell you how much peaceful I felt after meeting you, after hearing your song... I have very little to give right now; but still, I want to gift you something. You would not say no... He took the pearl necklace from his neck and put that in front of her as offering.
"His Majesty is gifting precious ornament to a jogan? She smiled. Her smile reflected the immense personality which is hidden behind the soothing divine aura. "Does not he know that this has no value to me?
"I haven't come as an emperor here. He said in a modest tone. "This is my only valuable belonging that I could gift now! I know the precious pearls have no value to you. But accept it as my tribute.
"But what I will do with this?
"You would put it around the neck of your Lord... Jalal said. "Accept it as my offering to your God... He paused for a while then said- "If you do not accept it I will think that you don't want to offer anything to your God from a Muslim's hand and...
"Such silly you are. The lady smiled affectionately. "Do you really think my Kaanha knows these discriminations? She took the ornament in her hand. "In spite of being a follower of a different religion you have come to see the holy land of Krishna, visited the temple and offered your respect. Your broad view over life and society shows your potentiality as an emperor. May the emperor of the universe bless you so that you successfully fulfil your duty to this land!
Jalal was still floating into a sea of mesmerisation after coming out of the temple. The face, the voice and the words of the divine lady was ringing in her ears. A strange content had filled in his heart. When he decided to come to Vrindavan to see the wonderful lady it was more his curiosity. But after seeing her, after talking to her he could only thank his fortune for giving the opportunity to be born in the era of her; years after years, when Jalal's empire will scatter and break, Jalal's throne will be taken by someone else, and the pages of History will forget Jalal; the name of Meera Bai will keep on shining in the golden plates of time, and the idol of her Kanha, being adorned with the pearl necklace, will be the last witness to know that one day an emperor named Jalaluddin had come to this ashram to meet Meera Bai, to talk with her; and gifted her something so that she could remind him...
Maybe History will not forget Jalal as well. Jalal's first and foremost ambition of life is to be memorable in the pages of History. But right now, he felt it will be more significant for him if this holy woman remembers him throughout her life... History might forget him; but his trace should not be worn out from the holy soil of Vrindavan!
While walking though the path unmindfully Jalal suddenly tripped. Something sharp had pieced under his shoe. He bent to see that.
"Don't you think we should set out for Agra now? Hamid was running behind him while etching his ear with a twig. None else of the ashram had heard the conversation of Jalal and the holy lady hence they were successfully carrying their disguise. Hamid did not enter inside the temple to impure himself, and in that short time he has enquired everything about the ashram. "After a while a meal will be given to the poor and beggars; the princess of Amer herself will feed the people. We don't need to be present there right? It will be a huge crowd. Amer is a mini land, but just see its audacity... Feeding the poor men in Vrindavan which is so near of the capital! Huhh! Mughal Empire should smash those kings...
"Amer... Jalal uttered in a lost tone. Hamid looked at him. He was gazing at the silver anklet which was on his palm. It seemed that had pierced under his feet just a moment ago.
Hamid came closer. "What, Your Majesty? He whispered.
Jalal did say nothing. His eyelids were shivering out of excitement.
He knows the anklet. He has seen this one a lot of time in her feet.
For a second his heartbeat had stopped then it accelerated in a double rate. "Purnima! Purnima is here! She is right here! Right in this ashram! He said.
Her anklet was just near the temple. It means she went inside the temple. She was closer to Jalal. Jalal could have seen her. But damn, he was so drowned in the melody that he did not look anywhere! How come he was not careful! He knew a caravan of Amer was here. He should have been much careful... Why O God! Why he was so occupied with himself!
In the jolt of sudden excitement Jalal's face distorted. It seemed someone burdened his heart with extra load. He will find her now! She is near... very near!
He paced towards the camp of the Ameris...
"Where are you going my Lord?? Hamid asked being confused.
Jalal stopped. Right! Where is he going? He wants to get in the camps of Ameris in front of those armed soldiers? They will not spare a single bone of his body for trespassing. He must not forget he is no one here! Should he take a different disguise? He has to penetrate inside the tents to see Purnima! He needs to! He has to see her!
Jalal closed his eyes to control his emotion and gave himself time to calm down. He will meet Purnima right today by hook or crook and he has to be calm first.
"We will sit in the meal, Hamid. Jalal ordered looking at Amer.
"What?? Hamid did not believe his ears. "You will eat with the beggars?
"Yes! Jalal's voice trembled all of a sudden. "I too need to beg something from this holy land!
"Kunwari Sa! Moti Bai touched the face of a lying Jodha. But Jodha did not respond. Lifelessly she kept on lying, closing her eyes.
"Aren't you feeling well? Moti asked. "Should I call Vaidya Ji? She was about to go out without waiting for the approval, but Jodha opened her eyes.
"Stop, Moti. She ordered.
Moti looked at her with fear. Jodha's hairs were clumsy, eyes were red and swallowed. There is a deep patch of depression on the beautiful face. She listlessly covered her face with palms again. "I am alright. Just want to be alone.
"Kunwari Sa... Moti sat beside Jodha and held her hands. "Won't you tell me what happened?
"Nothing has happened.Jodha did not respond.
"Then why you are looking like this? Moti insisted.
"I am alright. Just a little headache that's it.
"Won't you take medicine?
"No.
"Should I massage your head?
"No. Leave me alone...
Moti did not know this tone. She sounded angry. But the source of her anger was rooted deep inside her heart. Her anger sounded so helpless to Moti that she could not hols her tears.
"You kill me, Kunwari Sa! Order me to hang till death. But don't do this! She started weeping. "For God's sake tell me what happened to you?
But tears did not work. Only the princess got up and sat. She did not tell anything. Moti understood she will not tell a word if she does not want to. Hence she kept on sitting by her lowering the face.
Basically Jodha was not in a condition to speak. A dark cloud of gloominess had covered all the windows of her mind. She was feeling no need to communicate; she was feeling no need to do anything. Everything seemed useless to her. She was unable to accept that her fate is playing with her like a toy, breaking and fixing her every minute. But she is not a toy. She is a human.
God is very cruel. The whole world is nothing but a playhouse for him. He loves to see the helplessness of humans by standing them in front of great dilemmas. Else why would she see Chandrajeet today? She knows very clearly that Chandrajeet can be nothing but a dream which has no right to be true. She knows that her position demands her to live the rest of the life like an imprisoned woman closing all the doors and windows of the mind after accepting all the stigmas, all the dirt the society has thrown on her. She knows that there is no escape; if she escapes forcefully it will smash the dignity of her clan. Still, why her destiny had to make Chandrajeet stand in front of her, so that she has to break the barrier of dignity again!
Or it's completely Jodha's fault. She is expected to be more dignified, measured and controlled. This sentimental breakdown is not for a princess... The princess cannot break the barrier of dignity, at least she does not have that courage to put her family in danger by breaking the norms... but why then the heart of Jodha faces the emotional turmoil, compelling to break the barriers! Why her destiny directs her towards her forbidden' love, when it is a sin for a princess? Why her destiny directs her against her duties?
She has fought with her heart all this time. She forcefully tried to divert her mind towards logical thought. She has tried to assume why Chandrajeet has come here; he was not a Hindu Rathore as he had told first; his connection with Mughals were proved. He was a helpless vagabond poor when Jodha had seen him, but today he looked quite rich and sophisticated. What is his actual identity? What does he do? Is he a spy? Then why did he say that he is not a spy... He had told that he had come to Amer to see a glimpse of the princess; is the same reason there behind his visit in Vrindavan? But who is he? What is his identity! But all the thoughts are losing their path midway and were meeting at the same point... the point where the dream and the reality clashes, the point where the pain starts...
Jodha took a long breath. Not anymore. She might keep her love secured for Chandrajeet in the poems, in the songs, inside the dagger which Chandrajeet unknowingly submitted her as a sign of betrothal. But in the real life the princess of Amer cannot afford to face Chandrajeet again. She cannot afford to fall weak.
"Moti... She called.
"Y... yes, Kunwari Sa!
"Tell the soldiers that Rajkunwari Sa has ordered to set out for Amer right now.
Again the same order! Before this also Jodha had ordered to go back Amer. But she was not in a sane condition that time. Now it seems that she took the decision after giving a good thought.
"We had prepared to stay here for some days, Kunwari Sa... now... Moti gave an excuse.
"I don't care. Abide by my order that's it! Jodha sounded impatient.
Moti held her hand desperately. "I will. But before that you have to tell me what happened in the temple? Why you ran like a mad and then behaving weirdly?
Jodha looked at Moti's voice. Her innocent eyes are full of concern for her. Jodha felt she cannot avoid the urge and love of those eyes.
"I met him there... She confessed.
"Whom... Moti asked, and the next moment she got it. "WHAT!!!
"Yes... Jodha took a long breath.
"Did you talk?
"He didn't see me. Jodha said before becoming mum again.
Moti tried to think something sensible. But she was completely blank. "What will you do now... she asked with a lot of empathy, keeping her hand on her shoulder.
"Will go back, of course... Jodha said.
"But Kunwari sa... Moti almost wept. "You love that man... don't you?
Jodha smiled. "Do you recommend me to elope with him? Can you even think of that?
"No Kunwari Sa! Not at all! Moti shook her head. "It will defame you and the whole Amer... besides, he is a... maybe a Mughal! But... She held her hand. "At least you can try to know more about him?
"I am not ready to investigate on someone behind his back when I have no right on him. Jodha told holding her emotion. "I will leave. Already I have made myself a laughing stalk by running like mad all of a sudden. I cannot let my dignity to fall anymore. She sighed deeply in despair. Why keeping the princely dignity intact is so tough! "Don't tell anything to anyone Moti... His life might be in danger if the soldiers of Amer get to know about him. Her voice trembled once again while thinking about him.
"You can rely on me. But... what about the lunch... Moti asked... "What about the vrat of feeding the pilgrims that you had taken? You cannot break that!
"I will not break that... Everything will go on like it was planned. After the lunch we will go back. Jodha said. "Till then, don't disturb me.
"But Kunwari Sa! Moti has never felt o vacant and helpless ever. "You have to be present there. If you don't serve food with your own hand then... She corrected herself very quick. "Okay, Kunwari Sa... I will announce that you are severely ill and...
"No. Jodha said. "I will fulfil the oath I had taken. I will go. She stood up and adjusted her hairs. "Give me your chunar and jewelleries, Moti...
"M...meaning? Moti was perplexed.
"And you dress like me. You have to play the role of princess. Can't you?
People had sat on line, the foods were brought by the servants. As per the ritual, the princess will serve the first 10 people with her own hand to start the sacred function. The princess were coming surrounded by the guards and the maids; preventing everyone from getting a single glimpse of her. Though as per the rituals the princess should serve the people herself, for security purpose the rule is a bit changed. The princess will touch the utensils and other maids will serve on her behalf. In any function of Amer Princess Jodha serves each and every person with her on hands; but Vrindavan is not Amer, rather it is nearer to the capital of Mughals. Hence the royalty of Amer did not want to take any risk.
Jalal was sitting on the first row, pretending to be inattentive, but keenly observing the faces of each the woman. Though it was almost impossible to see their faces looking through their long veils, he was still hoping. Hamid sat beside him with bitter face thinking about his future. Today his emperor made him sit to eat with the beggars. God knows what will happen to him.
The foods were being served. The princess was touching and her maids were serving the foods. All of them are expert in maintaining their veils. Even in their active moments, not for a single time did the veils dare to be disobedient and tries to be removed. Jalal still tried to imagine the structure of those faces under the veils. The beautiful smell of Ghee in the well-cooked pulao did not divert him.
Hamid's expression was changed after a bite, and he was relishing his lunch now, and maybe to respect his disguise, he tried to be friendly with Jalal- "Eat this curry... I never knew vegetable stews can be delicious! "O Bhaaya... eat. Your food is getting cold. A random well-wisher advised from side. Jalal did not hear a word. He came back to sense when someone nudged him. "Oye Bhaya... You will not get to see any of those girls' face. Trying in vain. Someone told. All the rest of the row laughed out.
No! Nothing will happen this way. Rather it is getting weird. Helplessly, Jalal was going to take the first bite, the God suddenly became merciful.
A sudden wind came from nowhere and removed the veils of the ladies shamelessly. Though this lasted for some moments only, and the swift and efficient ladies took no time to get back to work after setting their veils, that single instance was enough for Jalal.
As he had detected her... The third girl, walking alongside the princess... she is Purnima. She has to be Purnima! Her chin, her profile, her lip... all was like Purnima!
Jalal kept on tracking that girl. But it is not so easy to keep track of a veiled girl among so many women. She got lost. Jalal could not eat a single grain after this.
But he knew she is here... and he has to find her! He has to!
Dusk was falling fast; the sun sank lower in the West sky while casting its last beam of golden rays down upon the clouds of billowing smoke, turning them bright red; fire red. Jalal sighed deeply while staring at the scarlet sky. The time passed so fast... still he did not get to see Purnima for a glimpse.
Had the emperor of Mughals even thought that finding a single woman from a few lots of women can be so tough that he will taste the bitter failure to fulfil a small wish of his own heart? Yes, he tried a lot. Hiding here and there, he tried to search someone like Purnima among the women of Amer forgetting his position and dignity. All women are veiled, and he could not go and request them to open the veils, but he did not lose hopes... Even he tried to roam around the dwelling of the princess to get any hint about her. But no! She was vanished like a magic. Now Jalal was suspicious, that his eyes have mistaken. The girl whose side profile he had seen for a glance at the time of lunch was not Purnima, but someone with some facial similarities. But still, his heart was not accepting this. Purnima is very near to him... he could feel this in air. And the proof of her presence was on his hand. The anklet. Maybe he has seen that two or three times only. But an emperor's eyes cannot be so wrong about detailing. It belongs to Purnima, and she is under the same sky, on the same ground of where Jalal is standing.
He was standing at a corner where the royal palanquins were kept. Suddenly he noticed a little chaos among the royal guards and attendants. The palanquin bearers got up from rest and started tying up their uniforms, the head of the guards started instructed them something excitedly; it seemed the caravan was ordered to get ready to set out.
"So Bhaiyaa... Duty is done? Jalal asked the head of the guards in a smiling face. Very tactfully he had made friendship with these guys at the very first so that he could get important hint. His clear and convincing talks have easily melted them, and they have started believing him as their closest friend. Hence the guard showed all his teeth. "R e kya bataye bhaiya! This princess is really a...
"Why? Jalal asked.
"We were told that princess will stay here for some days and we had prepared accordingly. Now suddenly she wants to go back.
"She wants to go back? Jalal frowned.
"I don't know Bhai! The guard was vexed. "Sometimes she is extra caring about security; sometimes she runs on the road without any guards... don't know what would happen if Rajasa hears about the incident.
"Incident? Jalal's frown deepened.
"R e just today noon; she was roaming around the whole ashram covered by securities... suddenly god knows what happened, she just broke the chain of guards and... Suddenly understanding that he is talking too much to a stranger about the respected princess, he stopped at once. "Our princess is very generous otherwise, you know... Our Amer respects her as the Goddess... But, she has some tantrums like a princess as well... you know...
Jalal was very touched with the tale of this particular princess once. But right now he felt more excited about this recent incident done by the princess. What happened that a princess broke the security chain and... No points to assume things; if the man could tell about the complete incident it would be fruitful, but now if Jalal asks him back he will obviously suspect. So he had to take a different route.
"I have heard Amer is going through a crisis; that's too because of that princess? He asked carefully.
The head of the guard seemed cleverer than he was supposed to be. "So many rumours floats on air... our princess is like our mother to us; we do not believe those... He smiled and kept quiet.
Jalal did not ask anything further as it might create doubt. But his mind was filled with a cloud of mystery suddenly. What could be the reason of this sudden change is decision of staying here? What was the particular incidence taken place today at noon? All of this revolves around the princess only. Do they have any connection with Purnima? Why Jalal feels that he would get to know everything about Purnima if he knows the princess properly?
The bell in the temple rang. It seemed some rituals of evening will begin. Hamid looked restless perhaps thinking about the reasonless late. Jalal noticed but did not care. He watched from far that all the ladies of the royal caravan went to the temple being surrounded by securities. When the princess is inside, the common people cannot go closer; hence they had to stand in a normal line which is at a side of the hall bifurcated by a curtain. At the prior of evening, the temple premise was glowing with the howls and cacophony of the visitors. Jalal went there and stood at the second last row of the queue. He stood in such an angle from where some portion of the women section getting seen. He had only a single motive in his head, which is to detect Purnima in the crowd. There were a huge number of people between him and the women crowd, but he continued his search...
The sandyaarati had started while the devotees were chanting their lord's name. A sacred and divine aura of peace had spread in the air. The whole hall was filled with the holy smokes of diyas and agarbattis, the idol's face was glowing in the beam of the thousand lights, as if it was shining in the glory of pride... A magical atmosphere had been created. And Jalal's thirsty eyes kept on searching for his woman of his heart tearing the web of magic. He would not be peaceful until he sees her... O, God! Let me see her for once! For once! He pleaded.
Perhaps God had listened to him. When all the devotees stretched their hands upwards chanting Hare Krishna, his eyes suddenly caught a view of two eyes... The two big doe-shaped eyes, blurred in the holy smoke, the enigmatic orbs full of a deep melancholy and tune of yearning, and drops of tears shining at the corner like priceless diamonds, were gazing at him only. Now there is no scope of doubt anymore... He can never be mistaken to recall her eyes. These eyes come in his dream every night; these eyes keep him awake in the nights of the full moon, when the sky floods in the ray of moonlight. Jalal's heart wanted to break everything and rush towards her, clenching her inside his chest. But he could not move... Someone had put some extra weight on his feet it seemed, as he could not move for a bit. Speechlessly he kept of staring at those eyes. He felt his eyesight becoming hazy. The sound of the bells, conch shells and karatalas, the fragrance of the joss sticks and the smoke had brought him into a different world. He felt nothing else exists in this world except these two eyes. Those eyes are just an illusion like this world. He can see them, he can feel the agony, the yearning would tear him apart... still he would not get to touch her... Like an illusion!
She was still staring at him. It seemed the magic was created in her heart as well. She gazed like a hypnotized soul, the drops of tears rolled down through the cheeks. How close they are from each other! Still why the distance is so long?
Their eyes talked on behalf of their speechlessness.
How are you, Chandrajeet!
How can be I happy without you, Purnima!
I am also not happy. I want to be with you... forever!
My world is colourless without you, Purnima! Come to me forever! I will bring all happiness on your feet... I will create a world where only you and I would stay. A world made of our dream, our passion and our joy...
Take me away with you! Together we will create a world of love in this world of cruelty! Just like we created a world of magic in that small broken hut in Amer!
But alas! The real life cannot be so simple. That's why the words of eyes cannot be the words of a human always!
The aarti had ended. The tide of men in the temple proceeded towards gate. As always a small pandemonium had started... And both of them again had to come back in the real world... Her eyes were lost suddenly... The crowd of the women were taken forward, and she was lost... lost again!
Jalal felt restless. With all his strength he tried to move forward. But the force of the crowd was too huge than his all strength. He tried to reach to the moving women in vain; the crowd has stopped his motion. He lost her again... again!
Before going to her palanquin, Jodha detached herself from the group of women for the last time and lost herself under the open sky. The open ground at the rear part of the ashram is kind of abandoned, only the cows and cubs of the ashram come here to graze. The sky was bestowing golden blessings at the prior to twilight, the birds are going back to their home, the darkness is getting ready to prevail the intoxication of the golden dusk slowly... This is the last time for the nature to relish the warmth of the sun for this day; like it is Jodha's last time to relish the beauty of the falling twilight under the open sky! There are lots of restrictions in a princess's attire. The ornaments are similar to the chains, the security service is next to imprisonment. The royal attire has extra sense of dignity, extra sense of ego, extra burden of norms. A girl of soil does not need to follow such restrictions. She can stand under the open sky, she can breathe fresh air, she can gaze at her beloved for a long time quenching her thirst... How easy is the life of a common woman! How happy is Moti, Leela, her other maids who does not have to bear the burden of the pride of clan on their head.
Jodha was happy. Jodha was peaceful. First time when she saw Chandrajeet she had lost her control unexpectedly. Perhaps the clash of her princely dignity and her wounded heart was too much to bear for her. But at the time of aarti, when he was gazing at her, his eyes full of yearning and agony... his tears pulling her closer to him; Jodha also cherished his one glimpse by gazing at him... Jodha was dressed like Purnima that time, her heart was ready as Purnima... Purnima, a different entity in a different land of love, belongs to Chandrajeet only. In Chandrajeet's heart, Purnima will always be alive being Chandrajeet's Purnima; princess Jodha will not restrict Purnima's flow of love with her princely pride and dignity. A complete glimpse of Chandrajeet is enough for Purnima to live a whole life; Princess Jodha is strong enough to spend her life maintaining the pride of her family and fulfilling her duties. Dreams are good only in dreams... dreams should not clash with the real life!
Suddenly a warm touch on shoulder got her back to sense. She turned back and...
She became stunned!
It was Chandrajeet!
Jodha was so shocked that she forgot to cover her face with veil as well. Chandrajeet was very close to her. His eyes were as deep as always, and the touch of strong determination in those eyes has made them more lively and attractive. Jodha felt her limbs were trembling, her lip was shivering, but she was unable to move...
Chandra suddenly took her hand inside his hand forcefully. Jodha's heart shivered, but she could not do anything... Chandra clasped her hand inside his hands.
"I knew... I knew I would find you! He uttered in an almost muted, croaky whisper, his voice trembling in excitement. "Why are you hiding from me... Tell me why are you...
"Wh...what... what are you t...talking about! Gathering all strength together, Princess Jodha won over Purnima and acted like numb.
"Do you know how much I tried to find you? When I understood you are here I searched for you like an insane... Purnima... Purnima I did not get peace for a single moment when I left you in Amer...
"I... I don't know any Purnima! Pulling her hand forcefully from Chandra's hand, Jodha uttered controlling her tears with most difficulty.
"Don't fake me anymore! Chandrajeet clasped her shoulder. "For a second's hesitation I had lost you forever. But not anymore. I will take you with me right now! I need you. We will live together! I have many things to tell you as well... In excitement he kept on... "Purnima, Purnima I am someone who...
"I am not Purnima! You have mistaken! Jodha shouted gathering all her force trying hard not to give in.
"I will mistake? You think I will ever mistake recalling this face and those eyes? Chandrajeet sounded restless. "Why are you lying? What is the fear? I assure you... He again took her hands. "Purnima... I am begging! Won't you listen to me?
Jodha did not understand when the barrier of princely pride broke, and the emotion prevailed. There is some hypnotic power in Chandrajeet's eyes... she gazed at those, and she floated and floated...
"What is going on here? What are you doing here??
Jodha quickly took back her hands. The head of the guards were coming here, perhaps in search of her. He came closer with annoyance in eyes. "All are ready to go back, and you are here? Do you have plans to stay here forever?? Seeing Jodha's dress, it was very natural for the guard to shout on her thinking her a maid. "Princess is calling you, come fast! Then he looked at Chandrajeet... "Who is this guy... R e Bhaya! What are you doing with this maid??
Jalal was completely irritated with the sudden interruption. The disgust was very clear in his eyes. He just felt to slap this idiot hard out of frustration but he controlled himself anyway. The man looked doubtfully. What else can a man think if he sees a girl and a youth talking together from so close in a lonely place? His frowns got deeper. "So you know her?
"No... He mistook me as someone else. It was just an accident. Jodha told in hurry and pulled her veil down. Without looking anywhere she started walking towards the palanquins.
Jalal kept on staring... He had nothing to do! Nothing! A strong pinch of pain and emptiness had filled his heart, but he could do nothing but staring numb!
"Accha Bhai! See you later. The guard bid adieu and went off, Jalal did not notice. He was staring at Purnima... If Purnima was with him, he would wedge war against anything to achieve her... But today she denied him! She denied Chandrajeet's existence in her life!
The royal caravan has set off towards Amer again. The palanquins were moving forward in a well-maintained line. Jalal stared at that line for a long time... Then suddenly, perhaps losing all the control over nerves, he started running... The palanquins had gone much far, but still he ran behind... a strange rage and despair was tearing him apart. "You might act to disown me today, Purnima! But the next day when I will stand in front of you, you will not be able to deny me anymore! I promise you! I promise! He shouted suddenly at the middle of the road when the palanquins had gone too far to his reach. Then sighing deeply, he went back.
Jodha was seeing Chandrajeet running behind from far. After a while, when he was lost from her sight, she pulled the curtain and leaned against the back of the palanquin. "Sorry, Chandrajeet! She murmured... Her heart was not weeping anymore. It had become a stone now...
Arjun
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