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This probably the first FF that i am rooting for Payal and Akash more than Arhi.
Their equation is interesting.
Aman is a great man and if things were simple, she would def pick him but i dont want her to.
😆
Do continue soon
Came across that story only yesterday and here I am reading its last update. Beautiful story !! Laughed about the RabbaVe thing 😆 belongs to ArShi only obviously 😳
Chapter 30: Everything You Want
Khushi's fogged brain took some seconds to process his words and when it did she immediately pulled back from him.
"What?" She breathed, while her gaze was still fixed on his lips which looked just as swollen as hers felt. She blushed on the inside while trying to keep her head clear.
"You heard me, Khushi" He said taking another step towards her, and bringing a thumb to her lips. He used the thumb to rub the moisture off her lips.
"I want you here with me in the office"
"No" came Khushi's answer, making Arnav's hand move back from her face.
So, he was right. This was going to be a devil of a job.
"I thought that might be your answer" Arnav exclaimed, nodding his head.
"I am sorry, Arnav. But I don't think it will be professionally and ethically right for me to work here again" Khushi replied, looking apologetic. How can she work here after everything she has done?
"Well then! After I have had an efficient PA like you, I don't think anyone else is going to suit my taste. Which is why, I have already decided that I'll work from home" Arnav delivered his words somberly, making Khushi roll her eyes.
"That's just ridiculous" She said.
"I think you not wanting to join the office is ridiculous. So, that makes two of us" Arnav said in return.
Khushi looked incredulously at him.
"I can't believe you! I just told you why it will be improper for me to work here. But you have no reasonable reason, Arnav. You're purposely being illogical" Khushi huffed, moving towards the empty chair, but Arnav caught her by the elbow and pulled her to him.
"I cannot handle being away from you. After the whole Girish Sharma thing, I don't want to imagine you working somewhere else, surrounded by strange people where I won't be there to look after you. Even if it is for some time, I want you to come back and work with me. For the peace of my mind! Is that illogical?" Arnav asked passionately, his hold around Khushi's body possessive and firm.
"No, it is not" Khushi breathed. She could see in his eyes that he too was haunted by the sudden upheaval they had faced separately and together. Maybe working together for some time was what both of them needed.
"Okay. But, I have a condition" Khushi answered, looking up towards him and watched the happiness that danced on his face.
"Anything" He replied, his hand tucking behind a loose strand of her hair.
"I want to work in a different department. I have been thinking of working as a trainee in the designing section. I think it will be a good thing for my career since I graduated in designing" Khushi replied and Arnav couldn't know if he was more happy that she was so easily agreeing to work with him or if he was more happy about Khushi trying to make a way for herself.
"Done. I'll talk to Mr. Chaurasia. He handles the new trainees though I should warn you that he is a tough guy to work under" Arnav said, but Khushi's smile only brightened.
"That's what I am looking for. The last thing I need is another boss swooning all around me" Khushi replied, tongue in cheek.
"What the!" Arnav muttered and then he smirked.
"Do you really think you had me swooning back then, Khushi Kumari Gupta?" He asked, and Khushi nodded her head, still very much enjoying this.
"Oh, then let me correct you. I wasn't swooning after you. I was downright starving for you. More times than I can count, I imagined taking you right here, in my cabin, on my office table" Arnav delivered the words, his body inclined towards Khushi and when Khushi gulped hearing his words, he ran his gaze all over her face, the same hunger once again surfacing up.
"You never made it that obvious" Her voice was shaky, as if she was trying to imagine all the times he must have wanted her. She didn't know he wanted her all the time.
"Or what? Would you have done something about it, Khushi? Would you have tried to satiate me?" He asked huskily, letting his fingers curve around her waist.
He was enjoying how flushed she was.
"I thought you'd be scandalized by my thoughts. By what you do to me" He continued, raising a single finger and using it to touch her lips. They parted immediately, still swollen and looking highly irresistible.
"What thoughts?" Khushi felt emboldened by his words, by the look that was in his eyes.
He leaned towards her head and whispered next to her ears.
"I'll show you soon, Khushi. It will be more fun than telling you about it" He said, and out of the blue, he brought out his tongue to lick her earlobe.
Khushi's toes curled at the sensation. She wondered how long they could hold out before actually giving into these desires. Because, everyday her barriers were weakening.
She recovered and then looked at Arnav. He seemed to be wondering the same.
"I'll apply for the post tonight" She said, changing the topic of their conversation and Arnav murmured okay, the heat in his eyes still there.
"Okay" He answered, slowly stepping away.
"There is something that I needed to talk to you about" Khushi said after a moment.
~~~
Payal felt a little guilty when she walked into the hospital alone. Earlier in the morning, she had asked Khushi to accompany her to the hospital when she returned from the school and Khushi had instantly agreed, telling her she too didn't want Payal to meet Akash alone.
But, sitting alone in the staff room during a free period, Payal thought more and more about it and she realized she needed to meet Akash alone. There were things Payal wasn't sure if she could say in Khushi's presence. It didn't mean she didn't trust Khushi or anything, because she absolutely did. It only meant that Payal knew if Khushi heard those things it will only make her sad and angry.
So, it was best if she met Akash alone. Having made that decision, Payal talked to the principal and asked for a half-day. The principal looked at Payal's growing baby bump with sympathy and agreed in a moment.
Payal hated that look. The minute people noticed her baby bump and then her sindoor-less forehead, her missing mangalsutra', they put two and two together and gave her pitiful looks. Some looks she received on the daily basis were sneering and disgustful as if they couldn't tolerate seeing her. Unmarried and pregnant? What a blasphemy!
Most of the times Payal ignored them but one or the other time it will get to her and she'll tell herself that none of this was only her fault and that she was strong enough to bear this. But what about the baby? Will her baby look at her with respect knowing that his mother was the laughing stock of the society?
That was the only question that haunted Payal. Besides her parent's happiness, this was also one of the reasons why she had agreed to meet the man her Babuji had selected for her. She was young and had a long life ahead of her, and she knew she could spend it alone. But her child deserved better. It deserved a real family. A father!
Just thinking of a father brought Aman's face to Payal's mind. After her own father, Aman Mathur was the best father Payal had seen. She wanted a same father for her child. A man who would love his child unconditionally! A man who was worth trusting and loving!
"Don't do this to yourself, Payal. Aman is a good person and a good friend. You cannot take his kindness as something more. He has his own life, his own daughter to look after. Why would you think that he will want to be a part of your over-complicated life?"
Because, she did want to be a part of his life! Aman, whose little world was so full of love and happiness. Aman, the man who had swooped into her life and given her the direction and courage she needed to face her own fears.
But the most important part? The most important part was that he never pitied on her, he never asked her if she was going to keep the baby or how she was going to deal with this mess all alone. In short, he treated her like a normal person. He was stubborn with her, he was caring, he was guiding, he was supporting; he was perfect.
In a different situation, in a different world, she would have loved to spend more time with him. But in this world, he didn't need the additional trouble that came with her. He had already had enough.
But Akash? What about him? He wanted to meet her? Why? Was there some way left in which he hadn't hurt her already that he wanted to hurt her more?
Payal had decided that she will say her piece of mind to him and then bolt from here.
After enquiring at the reception, Payal learnt the room number to where Akash had been shifted post the surgery.
After a moment's hesitation she knocked on the door. From outside, it looked like a private room. Was she ready to be alone with him in a room?
"Payal Bitiya?" It was Akash's Nani who appeared at the door after Payal's legs refused to carry her into the room.
Payal had met Akash's Nani only once when all of them were at the hospital. They had been briefly introduced and Payal was even surprised that the kind-looking woman remembered her name.
"Ji, Namaste" Payal joined her hands.
"Why are you standing at the door? Please come in" Nani's voice was full of affection and Payal wondered how come every member of this house was so gentle except Akash?
She followed the old woman and when she moved out of Payal's line of sight, Payal's heart skipped for a second.
Akash was lying peacefully on the hospital bed, sleeping like a baby. But it was not what made Payal gasp. When she noticed how weak and pallid he looked, her eyes stung with tears. She had seen him looking handsome, devious, charming, cunning, cruel, evil, but this was a new look on him.
"He took his medicines after lunch and then fell asleep. But, he is healing fast. Will be fine very soon" Nani ji's voice was full of understanding and Payal quickly blinked back her tears. She wondered if Akash had told everything about her to his Nani and his sister.
And had all these people forgiven him so easily? She felt resentment towards them that she didn't want to feel. Controlling her emotions, she turned towards Devyani Raizada to speak but she was caught by surprise when the women brought a hand over her cheek and caressed it with so much love that Payal forgot all the resentment.
"I am very sorry for everything my grandson did to you, beta. And please don't think that we have forgiven him. We have not. It is just that he is still too weak and recovering that we have no other option but to shower him with care. I will never forgive him until he amends his mistakes" Devyani Raizada spoke and although Payal didn't understand what she meant by amends' she found herself nodding. These people were Akash's family. They have every right to take his side, forgive him and take care of him.
"I will come later, Nani ji. He's sleeping and I don't want to dist.."
"Payal?" It was Akash's voice and Payal went rigid hearing it.
She looked towards the bed and found Akash awake, trying to struggle to get out of the bed.
"Lie down, Akash bitwa! You're going to rip your stitches. They still haven't healed properly" Devyani Raizada immediately rushed to Akash's side.
Payal stood rooted to her place, watching Akash's face. He seemed in a lot of pain. She moved to his side.
"Don't get out of the bed" she said, pulling a stool closer to the bed and taking seat on it. She tried her best to appear composed and calm, to pretend that she was not affected in the least seeing him suffering. He hadn't batted an eyelash when he had caused her suffering. So, why should she show concern for him?
Because he saved your sister's life! Although he caused it, but if he hadn't stepped in front of that bullet, god knows what more Girish Sharma must have done. He could have shot Khushi after shooting Arnav.
So, Payal told herself she could be a little considerate towards him.
She noticed that Akash had stopped moving after her command and was now lying down, looking intensely at her.
"I'll go have a cup of tea" Nani ji exclaimed and before Payal could object to being alone in the room with Akash, she was gone.
"You came" Akash's words were rough and disbelieving. His eyes were glued to her face.
"I was told you wished a meeting. One last meeting. Although I would have come anyway. There are things that I need to tell you" Payal began. She didn't want to give him enough chance of talking. Not until she had said her part.
She noticed Akash was waiting for her to say more. Well, at least he had enough civility to do that. Payal had decided she'll rush out the room the first thing if he started to ask for her forgiveness. He should know damn well she was nowhere close to forgiving him.
"You once told me to abort my baby. I had come to you to tell you how nervous and scared I was. I thought you loved me and together we would deal with the situation but you had bluntly told me that you didn't love me. You said I was your means of pleasure..a fling! You said it was my mistake that I was stupid enough to get pregnant and that I have to deal with this nonsense' alone. And now, I have come to tell you that I won't be aborting my baby. I have come to tell you that I am glad you used me, mocked me, and then discarded me. If you hadn't, I still would be a simpering, laughing, stupid, carefree girl. You taught me lessons, Akash. I will never forget them" Payal said, looking nowhere but at Akash's face.
She watched how his face broke by her words. Good.
"Payal I..
"I am not done. I came here today, to tell you that as much as I hate you for breaking my trust, I am thankful too. I want to tell you that, I will raise this baby alone and I will raise him to be a good person. And if you have slightest remorse for what you did to me, I want you to stay out of my life. I want to erase.."
"Marry me" Akash cut in between her words and Payal was stupefied into silence.
"What did you say?" She breathed, getting up from the stool.
"I hate myself, Payal. Every breath that I take is full of self-loathing. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't survived this bullet wound. Maybe if I had died doing something good, maybe you'll hate me less. Maybe I would hate myself less. Right now, I am burning in hell, Payal. Do you know why? Because, I let my mother down! She was a victim of people like me. Bad people! She wanted me to be a good person. I am not good, Payal. The only good in my life was you. I made mistakes that I can never forgive myself for. But, I want to redeem myself. I love you, Payal. I do. Deep down, I always did. But, I could not see it. Before I could figure out why I was so drawn to you, before I could learn what you actually meant to me, I got blinded. I became full of anger and hatred. So much that there was no place left in my heart for anything else! I became a monster, Payal. I am so sorry. I just need another chance, Payal. One more chance to prove to you that I can be good too. I have to prove to you, to myself that my blood is not dirty. I have my mother's blood. It is capable of being good. You're my last hope, Payal. You and our baby, you two are my everything. My family! My salvation!" Akash begged while Payal stared with shock at Akash.
What is going on here? Is she dreaming? Is Akash really sorry for what he did?
Is he asking her to marry him?
"You and I have created a life together, Payal. Please let me be a part of it. Don't take this one and only light of hope from my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Payal. I want to make up for every pain I have caused you, every tear that you shed because of me. I will love you like no one ever has. I promise you that I will be a good father and a good husband. My life is in your hands now, Payal. Please. Please don't give up on me" Payal's shock slowly waned and she could feel the ice in her stomach, her hands felt frigid, like all the blood had been drained from them.
This cannot be happening now.
She staggered behind a few steps, ready to bolt from the room. What in hell was wrong with Akash? He can't just beg for her forgiveness and ask her to marry him. MARRY HIM?
"Please, Payal. Please say anything. I am dying here. I cannot take your silence" Were those actual tears in his eyes he was trying to hide? She watched as he quickly blinked them away.
"I love you, Payal. I have realized that now. I love our baby. Please give me a chance to know him, a chance to love you"
Payal didn't realize her legs were moving back. She was slowly stepping out of the room. She cannot handle this. Not right now.
"NO. PAYAL. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME" Akash noticed it too and he started struggling to get out of the bed again. Payal made a run to leave the room but to her horror, Akash fell off the bed in trying to stop her.
She screamed. Maybe his name or maybe for help. But, then she was rushing to him.
"Akash! You stupid basta*d! Are you okay?" She held his face in her hands, trying to see if he was conscious.
He was!
Where had all the nurses disappeared to?
She hated it when he looked up at her and between his pain filled eyes, he smiled at her.
"You still care about me" He groaned.
"Shut up! Don't talk. Try to stand. Are your stitches okay? Do you feel okay?" Payal slid one arm under his neck and the other around his torso.
"I feel pain" He breathed as Payal struggled to get him on his feet.
She tried to ignore his hand that wrapped around her waist to gain support as she walked him to the bed.
"Carefully" She instructed as he sat down on the bed, his one arm still around her waist.
Payal tried to pull away but he didn't let go.
Her heart hammered wildly when she felt his hand sliding down, now resting on her small baby bump.
"So beautiful" Akash murmured in a dazed voice.
Payal tried not to cry while her throat closed up with emotions. Was she happy? Was she sad? Was she both?
She froze further when she felt Akash bending. He was sitting on the bed with his legs dangling and she was standing. Her abdomen was already at level with his face.
She wanted to run away when she watched Akash's face move closer and she closed her eyes tightly when he placed his lips on her baby bump from over her kurta.
"My baby" Akash's voice was hoarse and ripped with emotion.
Two tear drops fell from Payal's eyes and landed on Akash's head.
He looked up and she opened her eyes to look down.
It was right at that moment when Aman Mathur walked in.
Both Payal and Akash's head turned towards the door and Payal realized that Akash's mouth was still resting against her baby bump.
She immediately sprang away from Akash, his hand which was wrapped around her waist now hanging mid-air.
What was she doing? How can she let Akash do that? Hell! Akash doesn't deserve a second's worth of time with her baby.
It is her and only her baby.
"Hello. Aman" It was Akash who first addressed Aman while the latter was still standing like a statue in the doorway.
Payal forced herself to look at Aman.
Those eyes were full of hurt and accusation. Payal couldn't face them for long and she looked away.
"I have to go" She said to no one.
"I'll come see you as soon as I get discharged" Akash said but Payal was already halfway out of the room.
On her way out, she walked past Aman and their eyes met again.
Payal didn't know what it was about Aman's eyes that made her heart drop. Why did he look so shattered?
Payal knew that Aman was her friend. He deserved an explanation from her. But, this was not the right place for it.
"Bye, Aman" She said to him.
Aman rigidly dipped his head, not speaking a word.
Payal wondered if Aman had assumed that she was taking Akash back. It will explain why he looked so beaten. He was her friend and he was concerned for her. That could be the only reason. Aman had no other reason to look so anguished. Payal told herself.
And then she walked out of the room.
~~~
"This is not good. This will only complicate the things further" Arnav commented.
"I know. But, I couldn't say much to Jeeji without revealing that Aman ji likes her and I didn't want to do that"
"You were right about not telling that to Payal. But, I still cannot understand why Payal will agree to meet another guy? I think Aman needs to tell her soon about his feelings" Arnav said and Khushi nodded her head.
"I was wondering if I should talk to Babuji instead. Tell him that Aman ji likes Jeeji and then maybe he will cancel this 'Meeting-with-Mukesh' thing" Khushi proposed.
"We can't do that too, Khushi. Not until Aman has expressed his feelings to Payal and we learn if Payal likes him too. I don't know what these two are doing. I mean, you like a girl and you go and tell her. Like I did! There will always be things that will hold you back. But you have to let go and do what your heart wants you to do" Arnav said, this time exasperated and Khushi smiled.
"Everyone is not as audacious as you are, Arnav Singh Raizada. And their situation is different" She replied.
"Is it wrong that I am more worried about Akash?" Arnav asked after a second and he had expected Khushi to be angry hearing Akash's name but she only considered his words.
"Why are you more worried about Akash?" She asked, no hint of derision in her voice, only plain curiosity.
"Because, somewhere, I know he will be the one who will walk away empty-handed from this. I don't say that he doesn't deserve to. Maybe he does. But, I would be happier to know that Akash is not left heartbroken at the end. I want him to be happy" Arnav replied and despite her own opinion of Akash, she could understand what he meant.
"Maybe someday, Akash will find his happiness. I just don't think Jeeji is that happiness. If she would have been, he would have never been able to hurt her" Khushi answered.
Arnav agreed with her.
"Promise me, Khushi. That if I ever hurt you somehow, you won't leave me. Same goes for me. We'll stick together and we'll solve our problems" Arnav said.
"I promise. You're everything I want" Khushi replied, hugging Arnav.
"You're everything I want" Arnav replied back, before he brought his head down and claimed Khushi's lips with his.
_________________________________________
A/N: Just few more chapters. Three, I guess.
By the way, I really like this song 'Everything You Want' by Vertical Horizon and I think it perfectly portrays the Akash-Payal-Aman angle.
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
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