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CHAPTER 18
Please read the author's note at the end.
Khushi sat on the chair unsteadily with a hammering heart and heavy breaths. With her body tilted slightly away from Arnav who surprisingly sat stoically next to her, Khushi tried to discreetly watch him without him noticing her. Taking deep breaths she attempted to calm her racing heart. His touch still lingered on her, making goosebumps erupt on her arms. With every shift her cloths would rub on her sensitive breasts and she would squirm every single time.
How? Her mind raced, how is she going to resist him and stop herself from giving in when not two minutes ago he would have made love to her?
You love him Khushi! Screamed her mind. That's why I can't destroy his reputation. I had to leave him when Shyam manohar jha would be exposed in front of the world.
He won't let you go...
Khushi was brought out of her thoughts as Arnav took her hand in his. "Where are you lost? We have to deboard," he said.
In all this she didn't even listen to where they have landed. "Arnav," she stopped him just as he stepped down the stair. "Where are are we?" she asked.
"In London," he replied while helping her to deboard the jet. As soon as Khushi stepped out, Arnav and her were surrounded by strong build men in Black suits. They were quickly ushered into a black car with these men surrounding them.
They were at the hotel now after almost one hour journey. Arnav told her that the driver is making sure they we're not followed hence the long route. Khushi was inside the room while Arnav talked to the guards outside the room. They will be guarding them all the time, will follow them like shadows. All this was done by Arnav to ensure khushi's safety.
"Don't over think Khushi," Arnav came and sat beside her on the couch. His right hand found her left one while the right one turned her face towards him. "This is our safe haven. Nothing can harm you here." Khushi still didn't look up, her eyes remain glued to the floor. Arnav got concerned looking at her sitting there silently. But then he noticed her heavy breaths and pink hue on her cheeks becoming more prominent every second. This was what his proximity is doing to her.
From the time they had landed, his main focus was on to take Khushi to safety, that he forgot what happened in the jet earlier. Looking at her shying away made him recall every single thing. He almost made her his. "Khushi," his voice came out hoarse. "Do you regret it?" Pain was clearly reflected in his voice.
Astonished hazel orbs met brown ones. He waited for her to deny or agree, even though the desire and if he can hope, love that are shining in her eyes are any proof, she didn't regret it, not even a bit, yet he aches to hear that from her.
She placed her hand over his. The smile she gave him was tinged with sorrow. "I don't, I don't regret it. I lost in front of you Arnav. What I could do when I have to fight your love?" She lays her palm on his cheek. "Why do you love me so much, that after everything I told you, how I married you to just to use you, how can you love me still?"
"Why do I love so much?" Arnav's cupped her face and looked at her with such reverence that it brought tears to her eyes. "I don't know the answer to it, Khushi, I just," he shrugged, "I just love you,". Tucking a strand behind her ears, he said, "And about you using me, I am happy that you chose me and it's not like I was not using you to have a life of a bachelor,". Curving his arm around her waist, he pulled her flush against him. "And because of this I got to meet you, otherwise who knows we would have ever met in this lifetime or not. Falling in love with you would have been far fetched thing then,".
Khushi's face fell drastically. At times she wants to scream that he had met her, that she had fallen in love with him a long time ago. Not having the strength to see his eyes filled with such devotion and love for her, she stood up and turned her back to Arnav. "I don't deserve you," she whispered weakly.
The next moment she was turned harshly, her arms were gripped by him like a steel bands. His whole frame was shaking from barely concealed fury. His eyes was darkened by raging fire. "You don't deserve me?" He asked through clenched teeth.
Khushi was stunned, paralyzed. She had never seen him like this. He never got angry this much at anything.
Not getting an answer from her, Arnav shook her again. "Answer me!" He shouted. "Tell me Khushi, how you don't deserve me! Tell me!" Khushi stood taking in his pain, while hers poured out from her eyes in form of tears.
Arnav left her with a jerk. His whole frame shook, fists clenched so hard that the knuckles stood out. Nails dug into his palms, biting into the thin skin ready to tear it. "Of course, a girl like you don't deserve a Casanova like me. What difference does it makes that he loves you?". He ran his hand through his already unkempt hair harshly in agitation.
"Had slept with countless number of girls, did a contract marriage..." Khushi stepped forward to stop him doing this to himself, inflicting this pain on himself.
"NO!" He spat out rudely, stopping her from coming any closer. "I did everything to make you love me Khushi. I admit I broke many clauses of our contract. But I was helpless." His face reflected all the hopelessness and how incapacitated he really feels.
"I become utterly helpless in front of you. From the second I agnized I feel something profound and unfathomable for you, I had this inexplicable urge to hold you close, to touch you, to kiss you, to have you in my arms all the f**king time. It stayed here with me," he pounded his fist firmly on his chest, "You are my first and last love. "
Looking at her red tear stained face, Arnav said, "Don't cry Khushi. It's not your fault but you have to understand neither it is mine. Its not our fault that we never met before when I never slept with a girl. I used to think what would have been of we had met before and fell in love with each other. Then after knowing what happened to you this thought stayed in my heart like a dagger digging deeper and deeper everytime I would look at you or NK or any bloody thing that reminds me that was I not there, I was not f**king there to save you!" His shoulders slumped down with defeat. A lone tear escaped from the corner of his eyes.
Khushi never saw him so disappointed and never cogitate that she would see him cry. With a sob escaping her lips, she ran and squeezed Arnav with all her might.
"Ar..arnav," Her throat was chocked from so much crying. "Stop punishing yourself for the things you cannot change. I am here, with you, " Slightly stepping away from him she met his his eyes, "in your arms."
"But you are not in love with me." He backed away from her. "If only I had not slept away with so many girls you could have fallen in love with me. If only you never fell in love before and had your heart broken there might have been a chance that you could have felt something more for me. If only we had met and fell for each other before you falling for another or me becoming a Casanova."
He chuckled dryly. "So many ifs Khushi. Everything happened to stop you from falling in love with me."
"Stop it!!" Khushi screamed. "Stop it Arnav. You are hurting me by hurting yourself like this. I...I care for you Arnav." She looked away from him to hide the truth in her eyes.
"Care? I don't want your care Khushi! I want you to love me like I love you. I want you feel what I feel for you. I want you mad for me like I am mad for you!" Arnav pulled her closer. His hands grabbing her head as if wanting drill this thought into her mind. "I feel like I would die if you are not with me, that I want you to feel for me. But you have felt for this for someone else and that bas***d broke your heart. If I was his place I would have laid out the whole f**king world at your feet."
Khushi watched as a sudden change came in him. With a panic induced urgency he gripped her shoulders. "Khushi, the guy you loved, the one who broke your heart, he was not shyam was he?" His face has agony written all over him. Khushi couldn't see him like this. She had to tell him the truth. What if the truth gives him more pain?
"He is the one isn't it?" Khushi shook her head, but Arnav was in his own thoughts. Enormous pain filled in his eyes. "He is the one that broke your heart and h..how? He ...he tried to rape you!"
"It was not shyam!!!" Khushi screamed at last. Her knees gave out and she slumped down collapsing on the floor."Whom I fell in love with was not shyam. It was you! I was in love with you!"
A/N: Sorry for not updating it. I have been trying to write update of any of the stories but not a single word was coming in my mind. Guess that's what happens when you don't write for months. Can't help it though, life keeps me busy.
Anyways, I hope you liked this update. Will try to write an update of any other story or will try to refresh my mind with a new short story.
Also, I have uploaded my two short stories; Marriage Night and Unexpected on my wattpad account. Unexpected in only 4 days had the highest ranking of #634 in Romance.
I request the readers who haven't already read them to give it a try on wattpad and those who already read those, if possible also try it on wattpad.
You can find them on my wattpad profile.My username there is crazyreaderhereguys. The link to my wattpad profile is on my signature.
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