She changed in to night dress and sighed in relief. "Hey bhagwan. Why they need to make these wedding dresses so heavy. One cannot simply breathe in them. " she mentally chided.
Atleast, the night dress was sober a long t-shirt and loose pajama. Uma had specially bought this for her. He knew she wont be at comfortable in all those fancy dresses. She folded her wedding dress neatly and picked up to keep it inside the cupboard. Just then her eyes met her own reflection. Her heart dissolved. The faded color of sindoor is still visible on partition of her hair. She touched it with glossy eyes. Her heart sinked in flashback of him putting the vermilion. She traced her finger to the long chain hooked by shiv damru pendant. Her mangalsutra! She couldn't remove it. They were the signs that she was taken.
"Kanak? Are you done? Then please open the door." She heard his voice from the bathroom. She turned away from mirror ,walked towards the door and unlocked it. Without looking at him even once, she kept her eye low and walked back to the bed, tagging uma with her. Uma had already changed his clothes.but water droplets were still dripping from his hair. He took the towel and wiped his head with it. He took the chance and stood infront of mirror pretending to use towel but in real he was admiring her in it. She was making preparation to sleep. He smiled at the thought that they were going to share same bed. His heartbeat raised with his imagination of her in his arm. Just then his eyebrow knit in confusion. She didnt lay on bed as he thought but instead she pickup two pillows and threw it on floor. He watched her intensely as her lips moved when she murmured to herself. He was sure she was cursing him.
She look cute when she is stubborn, but he cannot let her build walls around her. She have to understand , she is his wife now. Little toughness is required to tame his beautiful tigress. He chuckled at the thought.
With a straight look, he marched straight to her. Kanak felt him coming towards her and she pretended to be in deep sleep. She expected him to scream at her or atleast argue her for sleeping on floor. But nothing like that happened, there was pindrop silence in the room. She could hear were the sound of their breathe. She hugged herself more in afraid of him. Uma knew she was acting and he could have confronted her for this. But he choosed to let go for tonight. She was very tired and he too felt exhausted. Nothing would be better than some peaceful sleep. He maintained silence in the room and laid beside her on floor. Kanak felt the warmth of his skin pouring on her back. Her eyes widened in alarm and she sat up straight with annoyance. "Mr uma, have you lost it? Why are you sleeping beside me." She was fumming with anger whereas uma had no reaction nor any trace of guilt visible in his eyes.
"Sleep kanak..please you need some rest." He pleaded thought his eyes still retaining his laid position.
"Are you mad? I am not sleeping with you." She said as a matter of fact.
Uma had enough of drama for the day he just wanted sleep. Was it so difficult for her to understand? He sighed.
Uma with no prior warning took her hand and pulled it to him , making her fall on top of him in process.
"What is...-" he cut her in between and traced a finger on her chin , lifting it up so that he could see her eyes when he speaks.
" Bas kanak! Enough of your drama. Ap thak nahi jati. Subah se raat ho gai hai per ap hai ke bas rukna he nahi chahti. Har waqt oppose har waqt ladai." He stops just to learn her reaction but continues when he finds her listening to him intensely.
"Kanak we are married. Which part of 'this' you dont understand. I know this is not by your will. But you are benefited with it.you have married me for your own reasons, willing or unwilling but its a fact you can never deny. And for god sake kanak i am repeating myself for the last time. You are not a victim so stop acting like one...you and i have taken oath to be with eachother for life and Nothing...absolutely ..nothing can come between us. I have all rights on you and you have all rights on me. My lord Shiva knows that i really want our marriage to work but if you keep this attitude of yours then i may have to be rough to keep you tame.don't ever be in delusion , any tactics of yours won't work on me. I know how to keep whats mine. Now please, if you are done with your tantrums we can have some sleep." Kanak felt her tears welling up in eyes and she blinks them to stop. He is not completely wrong. I am married to him the early i accept it..the better it would be for me. Kanak thought in silence.
She struggled a bit in his arm but finally she leaned her self on the only support she had, his arms. It's just like that the exhaustion took over her completely and she fell into deep slumber.
...
The soft rays of sun entered their room to wish them good morning. She turned around to the warm cushion which were holding her firm. She snuggled even more when the hot breeze passed her face then her neck and then...
Kanak wakes up in a jolt and turns away from the warmness. Damn!! Its him. She is cuddling with him. The mere thought brought disgust to her face. A little struggle was required before she could get out of his hold completely. The minute she did, she stood up building more space in between them. The sleep in uma's eyes ran away and he woke up to full reality. His eyes met the love of his life and a smile appeared on his own.
He heard her whisper something but it was too less audible to understand any part of it. He just smiled at her cuteness. First morning with his loving wife!!! Heart filled with emotions and he got up in trance with an intention to hold her against his skin but right then a outstretched hand stopped him from coming further closure. The hand belongs to kanak.
"Why are you coming near me? Stop right there mr toshniwal." She didnt want this. Nope she was not angry but frustrated with everything. Letting him touch her was not in her list but yet he was right in his argument last night. It was her wish to marry him and he also have fulfilled his part of deal. Today the shop is going to be of her's bhabho again. He gave her happiness and it was not wrong of him to expect some kind of reactions from his wife. Soon with the thought she let her guards off. It was the moment when uma knew what he has to do. Still in the vigor of her beauty he holds her hand and pulls it to himself for an intense hug. He didnt care whether she was holding him or not..his passion for her was enough for both he thought.
Kanak didnt realized when his lips started to wet her neck then shoulder and now were on her cheeks. She felt herself drowning with the effect of his kisses. He could no longer hold in him. The love he had wanted to flow of him and meet her . his desires were on fire and he could do nothing to stop himself. Very slowly he moved his face to her lips . he wanted to feel every moment of it. Their breathe mingled eachother as he joined the remaining gap.
"Nooo!" Kanak screamed against his lips. And the beautiful dream of his shattered.
Her eyes have widened and had tears in them. With all her energy she tried to push him but uma was too heavy for her. All her efforts were in vain as he didnt even budge an inch by her force. Uma's eyes travelled the lone tear that slipped from her eyes. His heart clenched once again . He shuts his eyes in pain and sorrow taking two steps away from her. His eyes never left her face as few more drops showered on her cheeks. He sighed seeing them.
" is it so wrong to love your wife? To feel her. To make love..?" Kanak couldnt meet him eye to eye. Partially from anger partially from embarrassment. Kanak was aware of the fact that sooner or later she has to give him his husband rights over her. He has yet not pulled any act on her to claim but that doesnt mean she will be virgin for life. Someday he will loose it and thats when she has to give herself up to him. 'Someday...but not today..'her inner voice remarked coherently.
"But if wife is not willing husband has a duty to respect her decision and stay away." Kanak kept eye contact with the tiles on floor suddenly they appeared more interesting to her.
"Hmm..." He forced himself to smile. It was difficult when your heart is weeping in silence.
"I will wait for the day when you are ready kanak. And i am not very strong to keep patience..."he started walkimg outof room when he stopped in his track.
"Raavan!" He heard her saying.
With full smile he turned to her and started walking in her direction "what do you know about ravan kanak? He asked..."Ravan was a disturbed man. He lived a loveless life. Do you know how much compromise is required to be on top of any race. The only mistake his heart did was to build hope for love. Sita had occupied his mind and attention. Every day he went to meet her and each day she refused him with a stinging rebuttal. He could have steal her forced her but no he kept patience. It was him and his patience that even after staying for months sita was as pure as she was before. Its all about patience kanak!" He stood before her with hands crossed over his chest. "Ram ki shakti thi jise unhone sita maiya ko wapas laye per wo raavan ka dhairya he tha jiske wajahse wo humesha pavitra he rahi. " he smiled at her With that he left the room for her to think .
His words had thick underlined meaning which kanak didnot miss to understand. She cursed her faith as her innocent mind pierced his words repeatedly in her head "...who is he for me..Ram or Ravan? She found asking to herself...
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