SiRa Lakshmila Bharma Shkriti MegNa SS ( chap 8 page 51 ) - Page 36

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Seraphina231 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
ResWa, though I am damned late 😆
Shivam... thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: mandy001

Unres.

Finally, we got an update after so long. But i must say it was worth the wait.

U nailed it. I was in love with brotherly bond nd u showed RaLaksh concern really well. Shatru part was well written. He is the most underrated character nd u wrote perfectly as what kind of person he is. He was very strong who could balance his personal nd professional life.

Nd what is with this 'bad omen' thing😲. It would be intersting to read👏.

Ur Ravan seems very good from heart but a lil angry😆. Any connection😉😆???

I loved Ravan's concern for his wife nd Son. Nd then ofcource Megnath's character ll be intersting to read.


Oho...

Miss pootna dhingra ka review

woh bhi pehle hi din

upar se acha waala review


Unexpected😆

As u say , itni tareef ki aadat nahi hai tere mooh se😆

Thanks a lot
Shivam... thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: aanvi98

Just loved it bhai!

Shatrughan was really so much cute! he is such a cute baby😆 lakshman being lakshman, no control over his anger. But the most beautiful bond is of ram-lakhan! they are so much protective about each other. and finally Meghnad is going to be Indrajit! I am eagerly waiting for that phase.


Thank You
Anvi

This part was really dedicated to Shatrughan now that i go through it again😆

This character certainly deserves a lot more appreciation for his hidden sacrifices.
SriMaatangi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Laadli directly commented 😆😆
Ram-Lakshman are the best Bhaiya ❤️
Detailed review later 😛
Shivam... thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Riya_16

This is so beautiful Shivam...First of all a big congratulations for successfully posting the seventh part. Well I loved everything about it. The desperation of a father to let go of his sons, the unity and bonding of the brothers...Ram and Lakshman...well they are unparallel in the true sense of the term...I especially loved Shatrughan in this update...He was so cute...

❤️

Your words were rich and they bore enough maturity to make this update a special one yet again...👏 👏 👏 👏👍🏼

Waiting for the next part to meet our princesses in Mithila...enough of your procrastination...get down to work now my friend...👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Overall a wonderful update yet again...





Love
Rii



Jhaadooo...
thanks for your sweeping review😆


And the suspense is only going to increase


Edited by Shivam... - 8 years ago
SenAnu thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Shivam...


Thank you Anu dear

Though i never manage to write as well as you in serious genre , but still i am content as far as the plot is concerned.

Next 2 parts will deal with their teenage life and events of gurukul , plus a slew of new entries as well which are lined up

Surprise - Entry of couple no 6

@Bold Bhaiyya please, I am still learning from writers like you 😳😆


YAAS! Couple no. 6 !
mandy001 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Shivam...


Oho...

Miss pootna dhingra ka review

woh bhi pehle hi din

upar se acha waala review


Unexpected😆

As u say , itni tareef ki aadat nahi hai tere mooh se😆

Thanks a lot


. Pootna???, here too😆.

Tareef ko jyada serious mat lena, sirf courtesy k liye kar di. I thought sab krenge to kar dete hai😆.
Mannmohanaa thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Wow wow!
I met say the Lakshman you've build is extremely strong! I can very well imagine how Urmila will be!😆
The twist in fate is interesting, looking forward!
Megu elopes to Shukracharya. On the road of becoming Indrajeet!

Waiting for the next update :)

Shivam... thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
CHAPTER -8 BEGINNINGS OF A NEW JOURNEY



The Sun had begun to Rise on the Horizons of Ayodhya , with its First rays kissing the Shiny Suryavansh Emblem displayed on flag of Kingdom , Put beautifully over the top of the magnificent Dome of the Palace .

To the King , time seemed to fly the fastest it had been the last night than in his entire life , after all it was the last day he would be seeing his boys till they returned after one full Year. He had spent the entire Night Standing at door of the Room , gazing at his children who lay slept peacefully , till finally he was called in by Guru Vashisht for the morning prayers right before the children left.

Ram Woke up First and then Helped his other brothers to wake up .and went to take their bath together

During Their Bath

Shtrughan :Ram Bhayia , what all are we going to learn while Away in the ashram

Ram : Pretty Much everything a Prince Needs to Learn , my Dear Shatrughan

Lakshman : Do we learn to fight as well Brother

Ram : I think Learning to Protect Ourselves and Our people is how you should put it Lakshman . And yes ,Gurudev is going to teach us everything there is as to how to use all the weapons - the bow , the sword , the spear...and what not

Bharath : And not to forget the other things as well brother , I heard Pitaji and Gurudev talking that we shall learn much more than that , you know we would have to cook ourselves too there , wont it be interesting

Lakshman( making a disgusting face ) :Eeewww , not that. Bharat Bhayia why do you love this Ladies work so much ?

Bharat ( PattingLakshman's Head ) : Hey you little Bro ... Behave . Am I elder than you...

Lakshman( Smiles ) : Bhayia it feels always so nice when u pat my Head like this

Bharat( laughs): Me too

Shatrughan ( somewhat tensed ) : And Ram bhaiya , I have heard there would be many other princes and students as well you would have come for their education , most of them will be quite older and bigger than us , what if they bully Us

Ram - Why Do you Worry Shatru , When I am there around you all , I will ensure no trouble touches you

Shatrughan : And what if someone troubles you...

Lakshman( Murmering to himself ) : Then He wont see the Light of Next day

Ram : Common , Enough Talk , We must get dressed quickly , its getting Late and Gurudev must be waiting

They soon changed into Simple Saffron Ashram Clothes , given to them by Guru Vashisht The previous Night and went to Greet Their Mothers one last time . Dashrath and Vashisht too joined in.

The queens Had got Down to pack the belongings of their Boys in large Iron Trunks , and they were working overtime to make sure nothing was left to chance at the last moment .

Vashisht :PutriKaushalya , Kekai , sumitra , what is going on here...

Sumitra : Greetings Sage , we Extremely sorry for causing Delay , the packing is almost finished

Shatrughan: But Ma...

Sumitra( Filled with anxiety ) : Don't InteruptShatrughan , cant you see I am packing your Stuff

Vahsisht: Its already doneputri , the boys have what they need to take

Ram : Yes Ma , see , we have all that we need there , a Pair of Extra clothes , Our Wooden chappals and the EarthernThaali in which we are going to Eat Food...

The Three queens Looked astonished staring at their four boys , who had neatly packed, all that they were supposed to take in a tied cloth bag the previous night itself

Kekai : Just This Much... Oh Didi , How our children are going to live there ( she started weeping on Kaushalya's Shoulders ).

Vashisht : Just Like Everyone else Putri , don't you want to make ur Boys tough

Sumitra's Mind went into a Flashback ( 3 years back )

An Early Morning

Sumitra( tired ) : Ok , here is the trunk of your clothes .. is it ok now... we are done finally

Shatrughan( coolly relaxed sitting on a side chair ) : And My Toys Ma , are they packed

Sumitra: Toys... Toys ? Ok wait , I will pack them too...

The toys were packed too after some time

Sumitra : Huh... Finished

Shatrughan: And my Books ...

Sumitra : What... They too... U are going for vacation to Kekaiya to your Uncle Yudhajeet , what is the use of taking ur books along..

Shatrughan : But you Know na I love reading Ma ... Otherwise I will get bored there

Lakshman ( sitting on the bed Nearby ) : Yeah Yeah , everyone knows what you are going to do with the books , trying to show off ur Elocution skills in front of the beautiful stable master's daughter

Shatrughan : You Mind ur own Business , understand ...

Sumitra : Ok shatrughan , here u go , the books are also stowed in your Bag...

Shatrughan : Oh... I almost forgot the most important thing , the sweets that Kaushalya ma Made for the journey as well as for our stay there , common Ma , I think we should take out everything and put everything again in order...

Sumitra( unable to bear anymore , roaring at top of her voice) : SHATRUGHANNN... Have you taken an Oath that u wont ever stop troubling Me...( Lakshman Giggling in the background ) . Do whatever you want , I am done with you..

Back to Present ( AndSumitra Glanced him seeing the once fussy pampered child completely comfortable with carrying minimum necessatities with him )

The Queens Bent and sat on their Knees and hugged their children goodbye , Trying hard to control back their tears but failing Miserablly

RemarkeblyThough , none of the four princes cried at at that moment , with probably their ery own reasons to account for that

Ram and Bharath held back their tears because of their responsibilty to look after their younger brothers , their breaking down would have led to their brothers breaking down as well

Shatrughan remained highly self composed , credit to the Inspiratinal talk he had with his father , and as for Lakshman , nothing else than his Ram Bhayia's Protection roamed in his head , he cared for nothing else.

Aproaching the Main Gates of the Palace, The Royal family witnessed the whole city had come there to bid their princes Goodbye , from Young to Old , from poor to rich , all stood together to cath the last glimpses , Hailing loudly " Hail Yuvraj Ram , Bharat , laskhman , Shatrughan "

The Princes boarded their chariot along with Vashisht , and the charioteer being none other than the chief of their forces , Vijay. As the chariot rode away to the ashram miles away , the crowd Ran behind them franctically , waving hands and crying , and the princes reciprocated their gesture too.

En Route to The Ashram

Bharat ( trying to lighten up the mood ) : So shatrughan , I saw u pretty confident back there at the palace

Shatrughan( Proudly ) : Why Shouldn't I , Pitashree is so confident about me , more than you in fact. He believes in Me.

Bharat :Lets see how confident u remain back in ashram , U shall be all alone in there

Shatrughan( whisper to Bharat's ears ) : Don't forget u are also alone in there , and no one to scold me and Lakshmanbhai when we make ur life miserable.

Bharat Gulped down his saliva in fear...

Ram : Would you at least behave more maturely Bharat , Don't Forget U r gonna be Mamu next year , shantaDidi is Expecting twins.

Lakshman : I so wanted to see her too bhai ...

Ram : You will see her lakshman , maybe next year , currently she needed rest ... And to come to ayodhya to bid us farewell , it would have meant conducting a long journey..

Shatrughan:Bhai , u see Shantadidi's kids will turn out just like me and lakshmanbhai

Bharat(murmers to himself ) : That's what I fear the most ...

Meanwhile In Mithila

King JanakWas Pacing up and down through the massive corridors of Mithila , with Sweat brimming down his head in tension. It was no ordinary day today afterall.

Today was the auspicious day , once in every seven years , when the Mighty Shiv Dhanush would be Carried Out of the Palace to Rishi Yajyavalkar's Ashram for the Grand Puja , conducted by Lord Parshuram Himself

It was every eight years that Parshuram would visit Mithila from his abode and MahendraParvat , to perform the Puja and Pay his Respects to Lord Shiva.

Whole Of mithila celebrated this Occasion very fondly, and this time it was Extra Special , as the Four Princesses would Also witness the same their First time . The last time the Puja was Held , all four were Just infants.

Outside from the balcony of his chambers , he witnessed the Fleet of 200 strong elephants carrying the Dhanushtowards its destination . He was tensed as he wanted the bow to reach its destination perfectly

Standing along with him was his brother kushdwaj and their respective consorts , the three elder sisters standing side by side shrutkirti on the lap of Kushdwaj due to her short height , seeing the procession fondly

Shrutkirti :Pitashree , Is that dhanush so heavy , that even so many elephants are able to haul with great difficulty.

Kushdwaj : Yes Putri , it is

Urmila : But it looks almost the same Size as your Bow , ChotePitashree

Janak:PutriUrmila , only a person with as great a virtue as Lord vishnu and Lord Shiva can String the bow perfectly .

Sunaina: And only a Man with strength as great as Sheshnaag , who carries the burden of this whole earth on his hood , can drag it effortlessly .

Janak: And I am yet to see someone like them

Urmila( whispering to Sita ) : But Didi , back then , how did u manage to ...

Sita :Shhh... Quiet Urmi... U want Ma to know and scold Me

Somtime Later

Lord Parshuram Arrived in Mithila and the Puja was carried out admist much fanfare.

He blessed the royal family as well as the whole Praja... praying for a better future for everyone

After the Puja was Over ,On insistence of Rishi Yajyavalkar , Parshuram Decided to stay back for while at the Ashram . The two consorts of rishi had politely asked him for Supper , which he couldn't refuse

Meanwhile The entire Royal family had went back to the palace , and the princesses had decided to sleepover with Mata Gargi today in her Kutia , they wanted to hear all About Lord Parshuram and his Story , seemingly impressed with the mighty Brahmin , an Ansh of Vishnu Himself

After Mata gargi was done with her story session , All 5 went to sleep , but moments later Sita was up. She had something else too up her mind.

Sita( slight Whisper ) : Urmi... Urmi... wake up

Urmi( half awake ) : What Didi... Let me sleep na

Sita : For god sake , how much do you love to sleep , wake up I said , we have something important to do

Reluctantly ,Urmila woke up , and they both sneaked out of Gargi's hut , walking a few meters right in front of the hut of Rishi Yagyavalkar .

The Dhanush was Placed perfectly under the large Banyan tree , it was to be moved back to the palace next morning

Sita :Urmi , you keep watch on that door , I have to carry this back to palace

Urmi : what ... Didi are u out of ur mind , what if anyone sees you

Sita : see the poor elephants urmi , I cant see them toil that hard again tomorrow , we should have pity on them

Urmi : you really have a heart of gold Didi , u know that , don't you

Sita: Alright , enough of ur endless praises for me , do what I say

Urmila stood beside the door of the Hut , while Sita Started to lift the bow

But as Destiny would have it , Sleep Overpowered Urmila and she fell down with a thud , sound which was enough to make Lord Parshuram and Rishi Yagyavalkar come outside immediately

What they saw next left their eyes stunned and Jaws Dropped in shock , the sight of a little princess holding the Mighty shiv Dhanush in her Hands ... and the first words out of his mouth were those which Rishi yagyavalkar would Never forget

Lord Parshuram( in a deep respected voice ) : Maata Lakshmi...

Sage yagyavalkar looked towards parshuramin even more disbelief

Yagyavalkar: Is it ?

Parshuram: Who Else Could It Be ...

Sita Immediately Put the Bow Down

Sita: I am extremely sorry Lord Parshuram , I was just...

Parshuram: Please Don't say anything ... in fact I am greatful to have witnessed this sight , for years and years I have been mediatating at mahendraparvat , to see the light of this day to arrive .

Sita: So u are not Angry

Parshuram: Not at all my child , here wake up your sister and go back to Gargi's place , its late , u shouldn't be out in the open like this , and don't worry about the bow , I know what to do now , its my responsibility

Sita :Urmi , wake up

Urmi( half asleep ) : what... Is it dawn yet

Sita : I cant believe this girl is snoring so peacefully after making me embarrassed so much . Get up , we have to go.

Yagyavalkarswife :Sita , don't trouble urself too much , common , u and urmila sleep here with us , I will leave you both back at the palace tomorrow morning

Yagyavalkar's wife carried a half asleep Urmila inside the hut , along with sita and made them a comfy place to sleep . It was probably the happiest day of her life , coming to know that Ma Lakshmi had stepped her pious feet inside their place for one full night.

Meanwhile

Yagyaalkar:PrabhuParshuram , what exactly did u mean when u said u now knew what do to do with the dhanush ?

Parshuram: It is simple... Mata Lakshmi has arrived on this earth ... It implies just one thing ... that my prabhu has also taken birth... I just need to find him now and I shall be free of my Responsibilities then. The time has come for me to hand Over the Vishnu Bow to my Successor.

Yagyavalkar : Lord Vishnu And His Leela , I am bleesed that I shall get to see this interesting unfolding of events

Lord Parshuram Picked Up the Shiv Dhanush in his arms

Parshuram : I am departing on my journey to Find My Prabhu , Pls narrate each and every event to MaharajJanak while I leave , and Make sure no one else comes of know of this...

Back in Ashram of Guru Vashsiht

The chariot stopped in front of the rishi's Ashram . The princes got down excitedly

Ram : We shall miss u Vijay Kaka

Vijay : Me too , Yuvraj

Ram : Please don't call me Yuvraj , I shall remain ur RAM only forever.

Lakshman : And Kakashree , whatever I learn here , U know will always remain my first teacher who taught to pick and handle the sword.

Vijay : And u know what shall be the biggest gurudakshina for Me YuvrajLakshman ?

Lakshman: What Kakashree ?

Vijay : The day you come back and defeat me in a duel , promise me I would see that day soon

Lakshman : It's a promise , I will become a fighter like no one you have ever seen ...

Vijay : And Princ Bharat and Shatrughan , my well wishes are with you , may you turn out to have magnificent qualities like your Father , make us proud

Bharat and Shatrughan : We shall not dissapoint you , Vijay kaka.

Saying So , Vijay Rode Back to Palace of Ayodhya , Leaving the princes in the hands of Guru Vashisht , who now had the job of Moulding the Boys to Men , Prince to Kings .

Somewhere Away in Paatalok

Guru Shukraharya was deep in his meditation , doing tapasya to please the gods and Godesses , when suddenly he was brought out of his meditation by some commotion

He Rushed away from his yagna towards the Entrance to the Paatallok , where he saw the guards were brutally beaten to death , by a mere Teenager of a boy , but with vengeance in his eyes

Shukracharya : So , u have come finally to me , I must say I was not expecting you this early

Megnath :Gurudev , Pls accept me as your disciple

Shukracharya : Does ur Father Know ?

Megnath : Yes

Shukracharya : did you take his permission before coming here

Megnath : No

Shukracharya : And Why Do you think I will teach you after u killed my gaurds

Megnath: I tried to tell them , the wouldn't listen and let me meet you , I had no option left

Shukracharya : You want to learn the AsurVidya from me that Badly

Megnath : Yes , from you gurudev , I want to become the best , and I know u can help me accomplish that

Shukracharya: And what gurudakshina shall I expect you to give me in return

Megnath : Whatever you wish Gurudev , even if it has to be my life , which I shall wilfully surrender in your feet after avenging the insult done to my father .

Shukracharya: choose your promises wisely , O prince of Lanka

Megnath: I am no prince of Lanka from now , till I fulfll my promise , pls I beg u to accept me as your Disciple

Shulracharya : Very Well , U have impressed Me with your Words... I accept you... And who is it from whom u seek Revenge

Megnath : The king Of Gods - Indra

Shukracahya - Putra Megnath , I will teach u asuriVidya , I shall put my everything at stake to make you Indrajit

mandy001 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Unres.


Woah, what an amazing update. U know the best part of ur writing is that u can write comedy nd love simultaneously. U write it so effortlessly that sometimes I dont understand whether to laugh or drool over their bond 😆 .


Loved that flashback scene nd maturity of all brothers. They all are ready to support each other nd desperate to learn new things. Mother's concern nd then understanding that now their sons can't use materialistic things was superb. It is most the difficult thing to make our mothers understand these things😆. All these things were well written. 👏 .


Mithila scene was really amazing. Sita's concern for elephents, Urmi's sleep, all the pooja things were well written.

Best part was when lord Parshuram said 'Mata Lakshmi'.

Excited to read journey of Megnad to Indrajeet.
Edited by mandy001 - 8 years ago

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