Sociologist's lens.

I am a sociology student and you won't believe how many similarities I saw with the happenings on screen.

First and foremost sona's reaction. We all thought at least I did why did she ask if ishwari will love her if she can't get pregnant when I think she should have asked what's the use of ishwari doesn't accept her as she is. Then I remembered some of the texts we have read.. One by leela dube of how a woman's true place in in laws is made once she becomes a mother. Now we all have this stereotypical thinking that this only happens with uneducated and rural people. Unfortunately me too despite my discipline have not been able to see our of it. But I guess I saw it then. If everyone educated would have been enlightened then half problems of the world would be solved. But education guarantees nothing if it's not internalised and put to use. Now keeping this in mind think of dev. His agenda if becoming big identity was money. To pick themselves up from the streets and give his family a chance to live with dignity. So I can say he really didnt have the chance to enlighten or internalise what he is learning. This brings me to a crucial point that though money is an important classification of class it's not the only one. I think this is what bijoy had meant that day only he used wring words. That only because they have money doesn't mean they will have high class. However it may sound they have come up from abject poverty have seen sudden money but for people like ishwari and dev a good amt too. Their intellectual levels, notions if dignity respect have stated at a low level itself. Class is not only defined by money.

Sona. Again she is educated, independent, intelligent. Why does she take this crap if u may say in this house. Because this is how she and all girls growing up in our society have been socialised to a great extent. Again going back to a text we studied. That women are the honour of both families, what they do it don't maintains the respect of the families and while men impose 'culture' on them... They are always those who are burdened with the duty to uphold traditions, to uphold culture of the society. Now recall what ishwari was saying in today's episode...betiya ghar ki izzat and bahu ghar ki maryada I think. Similarly do you notice how every time sona takes up a point or asks a valid point what ishwari says... Today it was about relationships ka izzat or maryada and in the fertility context after sona had asked the question, it was about the family, values etc. This is something which is so engrossed in our girls that probably they don't realise when it crosses limits. Think of Sona's upbringing...coming from a loving educated supportive family she always has been taught family values, importance of unity etc. She has has asha as role model and if u recall always wanted to have a MIL relation like her mother. This is exactly what she has been trying to do all this while. To keep her family together even at her own cost. Remember that confrontation with ishwari about the ma fiasco. Why do you think only girls are taught to accept ther husbands relations as her own and never the husband? It's just so woven in to our social fabric that it's difficult to get out of it. We really can't find fault with that value but isn't it unfair if it's only on one side.. But since this has been happening from centuries we don't think of unfairness or if it's the right lesson to give one's daughter. I think not if it leads to a situation like sona's ?

What I trying to say is that these values of family, respect to elders, feeling in with accepting husband family.. These values by the nature of being engrained have been taken for granted now... So much so when anyone takes out the supreme weapons of family values, relations, upholding honour etc very few women can resist. I see sona currently in this light. Even yesterday... When I thought she would shout she was alarmingly polite with ishwari but took out all bharas at dev. She shouted argued...because dev is her equal with ishwari her lessons of respect, values , sanskaar come in. I can give one example in out flat a married women lives who is m.a in sociology but still lives are timid life to put it one civilised manner in front if her MUL. I always thought how.. Now I can see u guess. Education our very upbringing is conducive to such situations leads to this behavior which father confirms these.

One last point. For a society where a large no are still Victims of domestic violence, bride Abuse etc... I think what we noticed of how sona was treated by ishwari... That awareness that this is also wrong ask abuse.. It light years away. Sona burst if only when ishwari literally infringed on her freedom... Probably for the previous subtler hits she even doesn't realise what happened. Again she has to fit in her new family right? We the ideal D the best she can be.

Not related ending note... Dev sona have known each ithervall for nine months and no matter how much their love is the kind of compulsion dev has in his character of how he puts his mother on a pedestal... It can't go away in this short a time. So we can't be this impatient with character change... It's not so easy. And for sona...its not that she has lost self respect or melowed down after marriage. From her family she has always had support...so whatever she has had to show was on front of others. She has never been confronted with such situations from her near and loved ones... So we can't compare and predict what she she would have done. It's not like she stood up then why not now...it always takes more courage to stand up to family and friends right?

And ishwari... One thing only. Yesterday what she told about sona and dev repeatedly telling lies and hiding truths. Only that tiny miny part I agreed with...uts difficult to trust her then. She has known of this relation for like five six months now and she is not the one who had fallen in love with her like dev who can implicitly trust her.

I think that is all I have to say for now. If someone here is more qualified than me in this a area and thinks that I am have got it wrong in any way... Leads feel free to add points.