Chapter 121
It was past 3 am, and while the majority of the world was fast asleep, Manik was strolling on the pavement opposite to Ranbir's apartment. He had tried everything, lying with his eyes shut, a mug of steaming hot green tea, listening to some music but none of it had worked. The restlessness just wouldn't die and he didn't want to disturb the only person he knew could help calm him down. He took the road on his left and continued walking, stuffing his cold hands in the pockets of his jacket.
This was a middleclass locality in lokhandwala; yet another of the many faces of Mumbai. Deliberately leaving his trail of thoughts behind, Manik began to wonder about his equation with this intriguing city.
Did he love Mumbai like he loved Nandini? Or did he just live here out of habit, since he was born and raised here, just like his relationship with Alya. He definitely didn't love Mumbai, the way he craved for Panchgani, the way his memories from there, warmed up even the coldest corners of his heart. Mumbai at best, was bitter sweet, bitter owing to his family or the lack of it and sweet for giving him his friends and then Nandini. It didn't have the charm of the hills, the dreamy monsoon, the cottony clouds, Mumbai was flat and blunt and at times merciless. But then that was his perspective, the way he saw the city through his own lenses. But beyond his thoughts too, there lay a huge expanse of human habitat. And if he looked at it unbiasedly, this city had a soul. Mumbai has something for eveyone, for the rich and mighty that he used to be, as well as for the penniless that he had become, now. You see the multistoried luxury villas and right next to them is dharavi, the world's largest slum...and somewhere in between, there's also the regular middleclass, going about life in the most mundane manner. Mumbai, they say is the city of dreams for all those who come from far and wide, but not all dreams come true. Manik wondered, what happened to those, who had their dreams and hearts both broken here. Did Mumbai also give them a shoulder to cry on, did it also nurse their wounds?
The day had been long. When he returned to Ranbir's place after dropping Nanini, to his utter surprise, his long lost friends were waiting to throw him a surprise bachelor's party. They had decorated the house with flowers and confetti & their photographs.. Photographs of them as kids, photographs of their stage performances in Warrior High, photographs from Space, and then a hundred different snaps with her, Nandini. Sometimes when we are caught in the bubble of time, we barely notice how beautiful it is, until one day when the bubble bursts and everything slips through the fingers like lose sand. What if life hadn't taken the course it had, what if they had never fallen apart, what if he didn't have that accident, what if he didn't have to go through hell in Europe..what if they were still like they used to be, thick as family, a madhouse of friends who could live and die for each other. But then, things are meant to happen the way they do, each one of us has a journey preselected for us. BUT THEN AGAIN, there are few things..few people that do not follow the design of the universe, they break every pattern, they cross every bridge, they take every leap of faith just to be with you..time, distance, circumstances, nothing ever holds good for them and that girl blushing in the photographs was one such miracle.
For a while, he couldn't even feel the rust. No awkward silences, no measuring up of words, no blames, no tears, they were all going bonkers, the old way. Mukti as usual was pulling Manik's leg, left right and center, with tips for the first night to why chocolate could be a better aphrodisiac than the customary glass of warm milk. Alya, at her sweetest, strictly told Manik that his wedding trousseau would only come from her boutique. Dhruv was quiet, but he looked happy, not the trying-to-gel-in-with-others kind of happy, but that kind of happy which reflects off the corner of eyes. And Ranbir was just being himself, like all of a sudden he pulled Manik to a corner and handed over the keys of his house to him. His excuse was : he was getting depressed living in this house alone and wanted to spice up his life by moving in with Mukti and Madhubala. The way he spoke, delivered that line with practiced ease, it sounded like the most normal thing ever, except that it wasn't. It isn't a joke to hand your house to a friend you have known for a month and then act as if it isn't a big deal.
Of course Manik couldn't accept the offer and he had his own reasons for doing so, but in the process he had seen the depth of love this mad guy had for him. On one end of the spectrum was his father, who thought he could control him by ousting him from his property and on the other were these people, who didn't think twice before giving him his everything. Being poor is not always a bad thing, it makes us realize what real wealth is. And if being poor could bring his friends back together, what could be possibly better than this.
Manik returned to the guest room, feeling rather hopeful when his cell buzzed.
"Home is not where
you are from,
...it is where you belong to
some of us
travel the whole world
..to find it.
Others,
Find it in a Person."
Nandini was still awake!?! At 3.30 am?
He was about to type in a reply when another message popped up...
"You want to know what it was? The moment I knew you were it?It was when i showed you the darkest parts of me, and instead of running away, you rolled out of a blanket, laid on your back, and pointed out the stars."
And then another...
"I've never known a joy more elegant or effortless than one I found with you.Our energy is infectious, the chemistry is wild, and your crazy and my crazy are perfectly aligned. i am positively convinced we were written in the stars and if not, I will carve our names into the sky myself"
Finally, he called her up.
"Wassup... why so philosophical today and why are you not sleeping, fir se hospital jane ka irada hai?"
"nahi pehle temple jake shaadi karni hai, uske bad husband jaha le jay.. I have no issues."
He couldn't help smiling at her quirky answer. But he didn't let her get a whiff.
"So whatsup with you.. You didn't tell me..why so deep today?"
"Didn't you like them..?"
No, he didn't, he LOVED them.
"Why do you love me so much?"
"Why do you love me so much?"
"Nandini!!"
"Manik!!"
"Why are you copying me, I am asking you questions and you are playing games?"
"I donno why I love you.. Why do I need to know? Isn't it enough that I love you?"
He thought for a while. "I was asking because I wanted to know what makes you love me, so that I would never do anything that would make you love me less...or make you stop loving me."
He was sad somewhere, he was hurting and even though they were having a normal flirtatious conversation late in the night, miles apart, she could perfectly see the wilted smile on his tired face.
"Nothing you ever do can rip me apart off you... and I said 'off you' and not 'from you' because I and you are one, ok. Its not Manik or Nandini, its Manan, like the musical tie, we exist together. I can write a book on why I love you, and then I could just be silent, let you listen to my heart and let you feel what you mean to me."
He swallowed, her bubbly words and the deep meaning they carried.
"I like the brave you.. Like old times. I like it when you stand up for yourself."
He was referring to how she had stood up for him. But he was may be too shy to mention it.
"You know right, that you are my strength. You remember that girl slumped on the bathroom floor, you saw her in the hospital, how she clung to you for life. From then to now, the only thing that has changed is you.. And u still ask y I love you? Manik we all are born good. But it takes someone special to make us believe in ourselves. And once you find that one person, you don't let them go.."
"Like you are for me?"
"Donno but like you are for me."
"Agar main ...if I had not agreed to the marriage.. Kya karti? Knowing you, you would have punched me in the face, no? Bolo nandini.."
"No..is bari punch nahi karti.."
"To, you would have beaten me into submission"
"I would have moved in with you.. Like a live in"
Now, that took him by surprise. He had never expected Nandini to talk about live in. No matter how brave she was, her traditional upbringing would have never let her take such a step. "You got to be kidding me"
"I swear on you, I am not. I would have moved in with you."
"But chacha..chachi.. Amms.."
"Problem to hoti, you know but main kisi bhi halat mein, I wouldn't have left you alone, so I guess I would have had to fight it out."
"Nandini never do that ok? Never even think of a live-in"
Now it was her turn to get surprised. Why was he so vehemently opposing it, given that he came from modern space.
"Kyun? Isme kya galat hai?"
"Kuch nahi, bas I don't want you to ever do that. Listen Nandini, I know the depth of your love for me. But I don't want anyone to raise a finger at you and question your integrity. I am not sure if you fully understand what you mean to me. See I don't pray and all, but those who do, they have this corner in their house where they pray and they keep it clean and decorate ot with flowers and incense. That's how I see you, not as some random toy that I can put anywhere. U r pious to me Nandini, like a prayer...and I want the world to see you like that..i am not scared of the society but at the same time I don't want to be a rebel at the cost of your dignity."
Sometimes people don't realize what they are saying, they just blurt out their feelings without putting second thoughts. But to the one who is listening, words can sometimes cut though like a sword, and sometimes put you on a pedestal you never thought you deserved. She would never ever forget these words of him, never ever forget this seemingly ordinary moment. One more day and she would be his.. One more never ending day...
"I love you Manik."
He just smiled.
Bigg Boss 19
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
