Manan FF - Kaisi yeh Yaariyan season 3 - Chapter 123 & note - Page 45

By the time Dhruv reached the front driveway, Alya's car was nowhere to be seen. She had not waited for him today, even though they had come together and she was supposed to drop him back.

Whatever had just happened inside, the way nasty words had spilt out, it still didn't sink in how fast the situation had spiraled out of hands. Dhruv had not seen this coming, because for the first time in years, Alya had actually been excited about getting together with the old buddies.

Her sobbing face flashed before his eyes. He had to find her before the night turned any more disastrous. 'As for Manik and Mukti, they have Ranbir', he thought with a hint of sarcasm 'in addition to Navya and Nandini!'

Her phone was switched off so he took a taxi and went straight to her home, hoping that she wouldn't have ended up in a random place with a random stranger. But then Alya wasn't like that, she was more likely to be found holed up in her house with a self-inflicted pain. She wasn't an extrovert like Mukti or Cabir or even Manik. She was a recluse like him, though her flashy appearances spoke otherwise.

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He knew she was inside, even though she didn't respond to the door bell. He knew because he saw the night lamp flicker in her room on the first floor. He had been here so many times in the past 3 years that he knew how to get in from the back porch, through the kitchen window.

He sneaked past the kitchen to the living room and tiptoed up the stairs in complete darkness like a thief. He could have called out for her, but then, Alya being the fiercely private girl that she was, would have locked herself from inside. She sure as hell wasn't in the mood to entertain anyone right now, not even her good friend Dhruv.

He peeped into her room and there she was, just as he had imagined, curled up on the bed, her head held low , chin settled in the curve between her folded knees.

"Alya" He softly uttered her name, loud enough for her to hear but soft enough to not scare the daylights out of her. In any case she lived alone in that huge mansion all by herself, her staff left by evening and the only person she could call family, her brother 'Harshad' had permanently left for New York three years ago.

She looked up, frozen in her place for a brief second, till she recognized his voice.

"Why have you come here. Don't you get it that I don't wanna see anyone." Her voice was knotty, she had clearly been crying for a while.

"I know, but main aise hi wapas nahi ja sakta tha Alya, I was worried." He said as he took baby steps inside her room, not intending to piss her off with his uninvited presence.

"Worried? Yes you should be worried for your friends, why worried for me? I am to just the villain in the story right."

"Alya, mat kaho Alya. You are my bestest friend yaar." By now he had moved close enough to the bed. He pulled her in a lose hug from the side and started rubbing his hands over her shoulders, to comfort her.

"Want a chocolate?" He was trying to divert her mind off the topic.

"Why are you trying to be so sweet to me Dhruv? It looks so fake because I don't deserve it. I am a jealous bitch." She fought back with a raised voice, wiping her tears. He wanted to make her feel better, but seeing him, having him around, made her cry out even more. Dhruv, who was the quietest amongst them, possessed the rare gift of reading minds by merely observing the faces. He knew she wasn't crying out of sadness, but because she was guilty of having said those things to Mukti who had always looked out for her. He knew she hadn't meant it, nor was the anger directed at her. Alya was hurting inside and for a long time now.

"This is for you" He took out a chocolate that he had picked up on his way and slipped it in her hand, despite her refusing it once.

With one quick glance, she threw it away and causing it to crash against one of the walls at the far end. "Tell me the truth dammit, I don't want this bloody chocolate."

He settled next to her and said in a unperturbed still voice "Yes, you were wrong. You shouldn't have said that to Mukti. That's the truth."

She should have reacted violently, at his calling her wrong. Even Dhruv was expecting an outburst. But she didn't react. Infact, she calmed down. This thing about her, no one understood. She didn't wish to be worshipped, or praised. She wanted to be loved and protected. She wanted someone to tell her what's right and what's wrong. She was ready to surrender, if only she could belong to someone. She wasn't a witch, or a bitch, she was a simple girl beneath the layers of wore.

Her eyes carried a million conflicting emotions, and she was tired of carrying them alone for so long. She wanted to break free, she wanted to breathe again.

He continued stroking her hair, as she slowly leaned over him. "Do you want to say something?"

"No"

"You can trust me Alya, I am not going to use this against you, at any damn cost. Just speak out."

"I don't trust you, not after you publicly insulted me & made a joke of my love."

"God!! Alya, its been three long years. Us baat ko kab tak yaad rakhogi. Kitna kuch ho gaya uske bad, life has taken a U turn and I have realized my mistake. I am sorry Alya, for hurting you. Jitne baar bhi tumhara argument hua, I have only supported you, kya tum is baat se inkar kar sakti ho? Aaj bhi you were at fault Alya, but I stood by you because I wanted to. You can trust me, agar tum mujhe believe nahi karti, at least believe my music. I swear on my music, I won't let you down." He meant it this time.

"I wasn't angry with Mukti, heck it wasn't even meant for her. I was angry at I don't know whom. I honestly don't know."

"Was it true, Mukti ne jo bhi kaha about not being able to forget Manik?"

"Again, Dhruv??!" Her exasperation clearly reflected off her face.

"Jab baat kar hi rahe hain Alya, to lets just confess the truth na. Do you still have feelings for Manik?"

"Do you still feel for Nandini?"

"That's not the answer to my question Alya."

"First answer me"

"Hell No, not for a day since I..." his voice trailed off.

"Since???" She looked at him questioningly.

After a long wait he finally answered "Since I started liking you."

"Same here, Dhruv." She paused trying to straighten her thoughts before continuing further. "Initially it hurt, infact even before we broke up, I could see it so clearly, that they had something going. When they spoke, their eyes used to have a conversation of their own. Even when they hated each other, there was a deep attraction which I in my seven years with Manik, had never seen in his eyes for me. It hurt me, it hurt me so much that I hired the goons to knock Nandini off. And what did Manik do, humiliate me infront of everyone and break off, just like that??? You tell me Dhruv, who doesn't make mistakes, Manik did, even Nandini did, basically everyone does, but Manik eventually did get back with Nandini. But in my case, my mistake was unpardonable. He just brushed his hands off as if 7 years had no value at all?" Dhruv sat quietly, replaying in his mind, her words. She had a lot more brewing inside her and he might as well let her take it all out.

"You know Dhruv, I lost my parents when I was very young. I had no one but my brother to depend on and then in school FAB5 happened, and you all became my family. Do you know how it feels to grow up without belonging to anyone or anywhere? Most children complain of their parents scolding them, but do you know how it feels to not have anyone to tell you what's wrong and what's right? Yes, I am emotionally unstable because I didn't grow up watching my mom and dad. My brother, no matter how bad he was for the rest of the world, spoilt me silly and I thought Manik would too. I guess you feel that I loved him because he had that zing, that x factor...you have blurted it out so many times in anger. But that's so not true Dhruv. Despite having friends as thick as blood, I needed one person whom I could call exclusively mine. And it just happened to be Manik. Agar Manik ke jagah tum hote, it would have been the same. Basically us age mein pyaar ke bare mein pata hi kya hota hai, we just get used to someone and then start calling it love. I am possessive about people because I can't bear to see them go, I am always seeking attention because I grew up without any. We all come from broken places and each one of us has grown a certain way. Manik turned to anger, Mukti became wayward, and I became this introverted girl hiding behind tons of makeup and branded clothes. If their reactions are justified then why is my insecurity a crime?"

She was confessing her own problems, yet it felt so familiar to him, because 'Insecurity' was the devil that gagged both of their lives. On one hand, Dhruv had always been the listening ear to his friends, a shoulder to pour their woes onto, a safety net in their crimes, a confidante and a saviour. Of the five of them, he had the most normal childhood, as he came from a general middleclass family without any of the issues that his friends grew up dealing with. But on the other hand, he had his major insecurities because he was the only average guy in a group of filthy rich folks.

And maybe he himself hadn't realized that in a strange way, he was an attention seeker too. The bigger the emotional upsets his friends faced, the more they broke down infront of him, the more secured he felt, knowing that he was their emotional anchor.

"Do you remember the flower you had made for me from wires?" Her suddenly asking him about something he had almost forgotten years ago, shook him out of his thoughts.

"Hmmm.."

"It was perhaps the most special thing anyone has ever done for me." She looked away. Perhaps she had said more than she should have and he had never known that a thing so small could be so special for her. He had always felt small, like a second fiddle, a background actor to Manik. He had always thought that their brief relationship had been on rebound and somewhere Alya was ashamed of him. Even she had said so in front of everyone.

"I have more to me than my looks. I am not as shallow as the world takes me to be. All I ever wanted was someone to call my own, something that Manik and Nandini share , something that Mukti had with Abhimanyu... I wanted to laugh and cry and make mistakes, and not be judged. But I guess, love is not for everyone...some people are meant to be alone, and they will floati in the air like a dead leaf before falling on the ground and being whisked away. May be that's why it didn't work out with Manik or with you. And you know what...I AM jealous of Ranbir, of Nandini and of Navya because they have got the same relationships served on a plate, which I have owned for years. One fine day I just woke up to realize that I have been replaced." Her smile at the end was so haunting, it almost broke his heart. It was so ironical that she wanted to depend on someone, while he wanted someone to depend on him and yet, despite their paths having crossed, they never realized it.

"Can we not give ourselves another chance Alya?"

"I don't have the strength to go through another heartbreak Dhruv. I have already made a laughing stock of myself." She got down from the bed and walked into the washroom. " I will say sorry to Mukti tomorrow." Dhruv heard her voice between the splashes of water. But his mind was elsewhere..

Song Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guX8kR9oOKg