Chapter 12
Khushi stared down at the book she was studying. It was another math problem. She twisted her face, this subject would drive her crazy. Why was it so difficult? And why was Arnav not around to make it easy for her? She shook her head, how would he be here, he was in Mumbai and it had been three weeks and more than five more months to go before he would return.
She sighed deeply and refreshed the page of her computer screen. But nothing changed. She was hoping that he would mail her back after reading her messages. But it seemed like that he didn't get the time to read them forget replying back. She checked her mobile if it was not on silent mode though she was sitting in the library and ideally it should be turned off but she didn't wish to miss any call from him. If her phone would ring then what would happen...the librarian would glare at her? Not a problem she could take that but definitely not miss to hear from him. As it is since he had left for Mumbai they had barely spoken to each other. Only Sundays were a little free for him when they would get some time to chat and update the other about all that happened in the past week.
Though Khushi's days were boring and nothing eventful would happen. She'd come back in the evening from college, give tuitions to the children of her colony, cook dinner, study at night and talk to his sculpture before going to sleep.( She'd skip telling him about the last thing she'd do before hitting the bed ) but one could say that she didn't have anything exciting to share with him. More than talking about herself she'd be eager to know about him. ( She'd badly miss hearing his voice) How his job was going ? How well he was settling in the new city? The delight and excitement in his voice would somewhat lessen the ache of being away from him. She would draw her happiness from his. He couldn't imagine how one message or some news from him would give her strength to deal with this separation.
One more time she checked her inbox and her cellphone. Sadly nothing from his side.
He must be awfully busy to not text her.
Reluctantly she diverted her mind from him to the subject that she was supposed to study. However after ten minutes she snapped her books shut. This was not the right place to study she would go to the canteen and solve the math problems.
Khushi gingerly ran her fingers on the bench, sitting on which he had helped her with the assignment. She smiled remembering how he had tugged the pen she was chewing from her mouth and how nervous she was when he sat just next to her..his sudden closeness had set her heart racing rapidly...and today she was missing that closeness.
A part of her wanted to think about something else because it would lessen her agony however a big part of her wanted to cling on to every small little thing that reminded her of him because only then her agony would subside.
Life without him was not easy. In fact it was empty. Quite empty.
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November 29, 20xx
Sitting in the balcony of my two bedroom hall kitchen apartment, after several weeks I finally squeeze in some time for myself. Yes now I'm no longer caged inside a small hostel room, I have a huge spacious apartment all to myself. Life is changing and it's changing only for the better. Gone are the days when I would travel in congested buses or metros and occasional autos. Now I have an apartment and a chauffeur driven car ( not my own but company's) that picks and drops me daily to the office. An office where when I enter, some people stand up and greet me. I no longer just take orders in fact there are quite a few employees who work under me. I can't express in words the high one gets when heads turn at your presence and things move at the snap of your fingers. After so many years, today I feel that what I'm doing is significant and worthwhile...and knowing that swells my chest with pride .
Taking a sip of my coffee I glance at the streets of Mumbai. It's way past midnight and the streets are still not deserted. Truly Mumbai is a city that never sleeps. People here are always on their feet, ready to go. It's a place that gives you a lot. A place that fulfills your dreams. However in return it charges a heavy price for realization of those dreams. Nothing can be taken for granted. Some sacrifices need to be made especially if you wish to excel. Personal life takes a back seat and family gets sidelined. Di and Khushi need to understand that. It's not that I don't miss them or don't want to be with them but then you can't bake your cake and eat it too. (Ah that reminds me, I have to call Khushi, it's been more than ten days that I've had a good long chat with her. She must be sleeping right now. I'll call her tomorrow...Hope it doesn't slip out of my mind) so as I was saying Life here is hectic and chaotic. You can't afford to relax. Being part of the financial team is not child's play. The job is gruelling and demanding. Today if I sit back to relax then I would be a fool because there are so many people who are dying to step into my shoes.
And honestly speaking even I don't wish to slowdown. After so much of struggle I have reached here and mind you this is not my destination, so how can I stop?
All these years I've only been dreaming and now I'm beginning to give those dreams some concrete shape.
Life is beautiful...it's got so much to offer and I shall embrace it with open arms.
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" seriously Arnav ji ,I can't believe Payal is getting engaged." Khushi was really happy for her friend and now she couldn't contain her excitement. Though the news did surprise in fact shocked her because Payal never told her that she was dating someone and now all of a sudden she was getting engaged!
" if I'm not wrong , isn't she still in college?" Arnav failed to understand what was the need to take such a huge step.
" yes she is studying , it will take her another three four years to get her medical degree. She wants to be a doctor."
" and what does her boyfriend do?"
" he's a law student?"
" student?" Arnav couldn't believe that even her boyfriend was not settled.
Khushi grinned hearing his surprised tone. " yeah they would continue to pursue their respective degrees after marriage."
Arnav shook his head. " but why don't they first complete their education, get settled and then take this plunge?"
Khushi pressed the phone to her ear and replied softly, " maybe they love each other so much that they can't stay apart." Moreover they must be clear in their heads regarding their relationship. If they were absolutely sure that they wanted to marry one another some years later then why not today? Why wait when you know what or who you want as a life partner?
Arnav rolled his eyes, this wasn't love, this was just being insecure. " Khushi, I won't be surprised if after marriage Payal discontinues her education to look after the house and her boyfriend, Aakash struggles to stand on his two feet."
Why was he being so cynical? " Arnav ji why are we arguing over their decision? It's their life and we should only wish them happiness." Arnav smirked inwardly, time would tell how happy these love birds would be in future. According to him they were making a big mistake. They were playing with their careers and their lives.
" so, today they get engaged and when do they marry...tomorrow?"
" no, no ... Aakash has fixed Valentine's day as the wedding date...so romantic na..?"
Arnav let out an audible sigh. " yeah very romantic." When poverty knocks at the door, love flies out of the window. ( not literally) but yes, real life is not a bed roses , there are thorns in the path and when they prick, it hurts badly.
" so, help me select a suit for the function." That was the main reason why she had called him. Even though he couldn't see her and was miles away still she desired to look pretty through his eyes.
" hey Khushi, look I need to hang up. ..the chairman is on the other line."
Khushi pouted in annoyance. " but Arnav ji your office hours are over...this is our time."
Arnav laughed. " excuse me, but I'm not doing a routine nine to five job..this is different. Will talk later..now bye." She opened her mouth to stop him but he had already disconnected the call.
Khushi shook her head in sulk, this was not fair..now how would she seek his opinion?
Just then her gaze fell on his sculpture and she smiled. Taking out three pairs of suits she one by one showed him each pair and discussed with him about their colors and cuts. After a long discussion in which only she was speaking, they finally selected a dark pink suit.
Khushi let her hair open, applied the eye liner, lipstick and stuck a small bindi on her forehead. She then lifted matching glass bangles to push them through her hand. Her eyes fell on her hand especially her empty ring finger and she caressed it with the thumb of her other hand. Payal was so lucky, tonight she would have a ring on her finger...her relationship with Aakash would finally have a name. She would no longer be his girlfriend...she'd be his fiancee!
Fiancee sounded so special, she glanced at Arnav's sculpture and wondered when would he go on one knee and propose to her... when would he put his ring on her finger...the day would be the happiest day of her life. The thought made her smile through her tears. She went to her table, picked up the calendar and crossed one more days. She pushed back the moisture in her eyes...two months gone...four more to go.
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After writing her class test Khushi walked back briskly from her college. It was a chilly January afternoon with Sun showing no signs of coming out of the thick blanket of dark clouds. She had to go home quickly so that she could prepare well for the next test. With every step that she was taking she hoped that it wouldn't rain..but it did. And it was not a drizzle but heavy rain. If that wasn't bad enough then to add to her misery she wasn't carrying an umbrella. And why should she be carrying one, when she left the house, the sky was absolutely clear with bright sunshine. Khushi ran to roadside tea stall to take shelter. She rubbed her cold hands, rains were good but not in this season when one would crave for warm and pleasant days. Winter in Delhi was at it is horrible and then to make it worse this sudden unexpected downpour!
Standing in the corner Khushi was busy cribbing when she two teenagers crossing the road. The boy took out his jacket and wrapped around the girl...long back her Arnav ji had done the same. She smiled remembering that day. He was always a very caring and considerate person...could never see her in distress .. always there to protect her . The thought of him and his love, warned her heart. How much she missed him only she knew. She wished he could come to Delhi for a day or two that would perhaps give her the strength to deal with this separation. But she knew her wish wouldn't get fulfilled ...he was too busy to come and visit her. These days he barely got the time to reply to her messages, she'd consider herself lucky if he spent more than ten minutes on the phone.
Khushi attempted not to think about him and averted her gaze. She saw a very old couple probably in their late seventies walking towards the stall. The wife tightly held her husband's arm as she slowly walked taking his support and the husband held the umbrella for both of them. The umbrella wasn't big enough to cover them as a result both of them were getting slightly wet till they reached the stall. After sitting on the bench, the wife ordered a plate of jalebis and the couple quietly ate from the same plate.
Arnav had also fed her a piece of jalebi and she had thought that it was an extremely sweet and loving gesture on his part. But the scene that she was witnessing was far more loving and endearing.
In her eyes this was true and timeless love. where the couple walked hand in hand so that they could together face life and it's challenges...where they found bliss in the smallest and simplest of things...where with age their love grew only stronger .
She wished she could also have Arnav's love and companionship for a lifetime.
No matter the age grows
No matter the skin shrinks
I find your love still young
I find your soul still tender
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Arnav made some calculations and then started typing the figures. It was getting late and he had to finish this project report before going off to sleep.
A Facebook notification flashed on his computer screen. Message from Khushi, he would check it later and continued with his work. However sometime later his cellphone started ringing. Why was Khushi calling him so late? Was everything alright?
" yeah Khushi."
Khushi leaned her head against bed and peered down at her open palm. " did you check the pictures I sent you?"
Arnav frowned, what pictures? Then it struck him, she must be talking about the notification. Reluctantly he checked it and on seeing it twisted his face. There were pictures of a pair hands clad in hinnah...now what was he supposed to do?
" Khushi what's this? Why have you sent me pictures of some hands?"
" these are not some random hands...these are mine." She sounded upset and offended.
If her hands were covered in mehndi then how could he recognize them? Moreover he wasn't expecting her to send him pictures of her hands.
" okay."
He adjusted the phone between his ear and shoulder and began writing down his report.
Khushi pursed her lips. what did okay mean? Couldn't he say something about the mehendi ?
" Khushi ..I'm waiting."
Even she was waiting to hear something nice about her hands. Everyone at Payal's mehendi ceremony were going ga ga over her mehendi and here he had nothing to say.
" Arnav ji you're so unromantic ."
" now what have I done to get this compliment?"
" well I sent you these pictures so that you could find your name on my hand and you're sounding so disinterested."
Arnav rolled his eyes, at twelve in the night she wanted him to find his name...unbelievable!
" now stop sulking..I'll search my name...just hang on."
Khushi pressed her lips in excitement. Would he be able to find it? She had very cleverly got his name written on her palm.
Widening his eyes, Arnav stared hard at the pictures. Where the hell was his name and what was the need to have it on her hand? He wished he could concentrate on his report instead on her hands. But he knew this puzzle had to be solved otherwise Khushi wouldn't let him work in peace.
After five minutes he gave up.
" where's it Khushi? I can't see it."
Khushi smiled to herself. " Arnav ji please try again..it's easy...I'm sure you'll find it."
Arnav sighed deeply before trying again on her insistence.
" you win, I lose now tell me where is it?"
Khushi giggled, it wasn't about winning or losing...it was about love.
" it's on my left hand... Right in the middle..look carefully." Arnav squinted his eyes and gazed at the photograph. Ah there it was..Arnav ji.
" yeah finally found it...you girls sometimes get really emotional."
" it's called pure, unconditional love." His name was written not just on her hand but her heart as well. Call her sentimental, emotional or anything but she was glad to have him in her life.
" you know Arnav ji , my mehendi has turned out dark..In fact darker than Payal's."
He smiled. " I have to say it has come out quite beautiful."
" and do you know what does that mean? It means I'll have an extremely loving husband."
" really ? but one thing I can say without looking at any photograph or even you that right now you're blushing from head to toe."
Khushi snuggled under her blanket and bit her lower lip...he was so right.
" what say Khushi?" She sensed the naughtiness in his tone, he absolutely enjoyed teasing her.
" it's so late Arnav ji, why aren't you sleeping?" He laughed at how innocently she didn't reply to his question and tried to change the topic of their conversation.
" well tomorrow I have very important project report to submit...I hope the board of directors approve my suggestions."
" what is it about?"
Arnav drew his brows together, what would she know about profits and cost cutting? Still he thought of sharing his ideas with her.
" Khushi I have searched for a particular machine that can almost double the productivity and reduce the man power to one tenth. It will involve huge investment but that can be recovered in three years."
There was silence at the other end, he knew she wouldn't understand.
" but Arnav ji won't this leave several people unemployed...what about them?"
" what about them? They'll be compensated ...what else can a company do?"
" and how long will that compensation last?"
" that's not our headache."
" but.."
" leave it Khushi...you needn't worry about all this...you just wish me luck."
Her best wishes were always with him...but honestly speaking, when it came to money, they never seem to agree.
" Good night Arnav ji and all the best for your presentation."
Arnav grinned. " my night is still young but you sleep well."
Khushi buried her head in the pillow , sometimes he would come across as so practical and insensitive that it would hurt her.
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Khushi's uncle and aunt were busy eating in the food court as she found a seat for herself near the mandap. She didn't wish to miss any ritual relating to the wedding ceremony.
Finally the day had arrived. Payal and Aakash were sitting at the mandap ready to take their marital vows. They both looked so much in love and ..happy. Aakash couldn't take his eyes off Payal and often stole glances at her. Their love was now moving to another level.
Khushi smiled and called Arnav. So what if he wasn't physically present here, she would give him a live update of all that was happening.
Arnav glanced at his phone. Khushi's name flashed.
" hi." He put his pillow down and pulled the duvet.
" hi."
" Khushi I can't hear you clearly...are you out?"
Khushi looked around, the marriage was in a banquet hall, maybe there was network problem.
" yeah I'm at Payal's wedding." She changed her seat and sat on another chair. This was even more close to the bride and groom.
" oh yes it slipped out of my mind...so having fun?" Arnav made himself comfortable on the bed.
" hmm...I guess you forgot something else too."
Arnav scratched his week old stubble. " what?"
Khushi sighed deeply. " happy Valentine's day." It was their first Valentine's day and he didn't remember. She wasn't expecting roses or gifts but a simple wish would have made her happy.
" oh I'm so sorry Khushi..I was caught up with this presentation and forgot that today is 14the Feb."
True, his presentation was important..his work was important..his goals were important.. everything seemed important except her.
" Khushi?"
" hmm ."
" God, now don't be disheartened.. I said I'm sorry. And tell me why is 14 th Feb so important?" He failed to understand why lovers went crazy on this day...roses, heart shaped balloons, chocolates , gifts all this didn't make sense to him.
" love is precious and it should be celebrated every day..don't you think so?"
Khushi smiled, she had to agree with him. If today he forgot to wish her that didn't mean he ceased to love her!
" you're right...actually I called up to tell you what's going on here...Payal is looking so pretty in pink lehenga even Aakash is looking nice..hey you haven't seen Aakash, right?"
" yeah." Arnav stifled a yawn.
" Aakash is slightly taller and quite leaner than you..he wears specs and tonight he's looking great with Payal...Payal's jewelry and makeup , all are going well with her lehenga but Arnav ji for our wedding I'll wear a traditional red lehenga with golden work...also I don't want our wedding at some marriage hall or farmhouse but in a beautiful temple ..and.."
Arnav's eyes that were drooping, snapped open on hearing about Khushi's wedding plans.
" Khushi, don't you think you're going too far? "
Khushi furrowed her brows. " sorry, I didn't get you."
" I hope you are not forgetting that right now marriage is not on my cards." His words suddenly pricked something within her...yes, she was aware that he wasn't prepared for marriage but still it dismayed her.
" I know Arnav ji I'll have to wait but there's no harm in discussing about it." Every girl dreamt about her marriage and sharing those dreams with her boyfriend was quite natural.
There was no response from the other end. Perhaps talking about all this pressurized him. She didn't wish to impose anything on him. Marriage would happen when it would have to happen.
" so, Arnav ji what's up?"
" nothing really, I was about to go off to sleep."
Khushi frowned. " so early? Its only eight." Arnav rubbed his tired eyes.
" I know but someone who hasn't slept for two nights is bound to get sleepy." Khushi was now mad at his company. " I am beginning to hate your seniors...they are over berdening you with work...you hardly have time for yourself and us...I don't like your job."
Arnav laughed at her annoyance. " don't forget Khushi, you were the one who got me this job...today if we are apart then blame yourself...but to be honest I'm glad you found me this job..thanks."
Khushi thought about it and felt it was true, she had applied for it on his behalf but back then she didn't know that things would turn so hectic and he would have to go away.
" Khushi?"
" yes."
" now don't feel guilty..what you did was right. In fact you did the best for me." That made her smile in relief, she was glad she was helping him in realizing his dreams.
" tell me more about the wedding...I'm all ears."
" okay. Aakash and Payal are now taking their nuptial vows..promising to hold each other from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish all the days of their lives."
" Aakash is now tying the mangalsutra around her neck..trust me, for a girl no piece of jewelry can be more precious than this chain." She could see the happiness on Payal's face...happiness of now being together for life.
" Aakash is filling her parting with vermilion, marking her as his. Silent tears escape from her closed eyelids...these are tears of bliss.. they are now declared as husband and wife."
Khushi went silent, expecting Arnav to say something but there was only silence between them.
She wiped the tears from her eyes, she didn't realize when her eyes turned moist.
" Arnav ji?"
" Arnav ji..are you there?"
She bit the inside of her cheek, he had probably gone off to sleep. She disconnected the call and quietly gazed at Aakash and Payal. How fortunate they were to be together.
The pain of being away from Arnav increased , it felt as if her heart was turning hollow. As though he was slipping away from her.
She peered down at her palm where his name was written and closed it firmly.
No, their love wasn't weak. It could face all the obstacles coming it's way and this six months separation was just a small hurdle ...the path ahead would be beautiful and blissful.
" love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
Book Talk
Cricket
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