She was standing at the precipice where the rocky hillock abruptly dissolved in the arms of the restless ocean. She wouldn't jump, but she wouldn't resist either, if the ruthless wind were to push her off the cliff. She wouldn't try to latch on to something and cry out for help, not because she didn't want to live anymore, but because there was noone who could hear her desperate cries.
Her mom, the one person she loved more than the rest of the world combined, had gone too far. And she had taken along her second most favourite person, her dad. Nandini had never regretted not having friends, for her parents more than made up for it. Every upset, every set back, every tear she carried home, her mamma would skillfully pour all of it into the baking tray and one bite into the warm gooey cake would bring the smile back on Nandini's face. Her dad had the world's biggest repository of lame jokes, one for every occasion and the fact that they weren't laughable used to make her laugh all the more.
Not that she had a perfect family, her parents were far from being a perfect couple. Her father had major professional frustrations and because he couldn't express it at the right place, to the right people, her mom often had to bear the brunt.
Her mom, though lively was a simpleton. She was happy in whatever little she had, in her cooking and in their house and in the daily routine between sunrise and sunset. She didn't possess in her the drive that modern women are endowed with, a spark her dad always wanted to see in his life partner.
But despite their flaws, despite the arguments, they couldnt spend a day apart. They would fight and make up and fight and make up again. And that's what Nandini's idea of a relationship was.
She didn't like Manik because he was perfect, like the rest of the girls did. She liked him because he was broken and flawed and yet incredibly beautiful. They had been studying together for 11 years now and for as long as she could remember, she had been smitten by him.
Every time she saw her parents sharing a warm moment, she imagined herself with Manik in a similar setting years later...every time she took extra effort to dress up, she wanted him to notice it, even if for a while...she loved music...because music was his soul...she loved the stars because she knew he loved them too. And even though, she was a stranger to him, he was the center of her world.
When they were cremating her parents, she wished she could run away to him and find shelter in his arms, when she walked into the class first time in two months, she wished he would shield her from the inquisitive eyes and tongues. But when he held her hand, forcing her to copy the answers, she had felt like, all these years she had not been dreaming, as if his heart silently beat for her...that, he had been lying that night
'Nandini Murthy, you are pathetic. You saw what you wanted to see, you heard what u want to hear...not once but every freaking time...did you forget how he had treated you that night, did you not notice that he flirted with every other girl except you..you were never desirable for him, you were not the one who could inspire him to write music...why did you want to be friends again when he had told you, you could only be strangers? You have no one, no one to love you in this whole world. The only two people who loved you are dead.' Nandini's inner voice mocked her.
The storm had progressively grown wilder and the mild drizzle had now turned into blinding rain. The loud gush of wind, the mad waves crashing against the rock, the grey sky...and she alone..on the precipice. Why couldn't the wind just push her off..before the night fell again and she had to return to her four walled graveyard.
She heard a muffed voice approaching her through the hissing rain, not being able to make out if it was her name, being called. She didn't turn back. Whoever it was, was frantically looking for someone. She could make out the pain even though the rain had distorted the cries.
Suddenly she felt a strong grip on her hand and then a slap on her face. "What the hell Amms" she couldn't help hide her frustration anymore, she couldn't pretend to be the docile Nandini anymore. "why can't you just leave me alone"
But it wasn't Amms, it was him...him!!!????? Nandini blinked her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming. It was hazy but then she could make him out even in the dead of the night.
"What the hell are you doing here Nandini?"
"None of your business...go away...and leave me alone."
"Why aren't you coming to school, did you come here to commit suicide. I never knew you were such a chicken." He was angry, he was damn angry. His fingers were almost digging into her tender wrist.
"I said none of your business Manik Malhotra, none of your bloody business." He had stirred the storm inside her. He had broken the dam and Now it was going to be impossible for her to restrain the gush of pent up emotions from drowning them both. Her voice was already breaking as she started screaming over the lashing rain. "Leave me alone."
Much to her surprise, she saw him droop down, kneeling on the ground. With his sagging shoulders and head held low, he looked like a soldier who had just surrendered. "I thought you were gone, that I would never see you again... why did you do this Nandini, I would have lost you damned."
It was impossible to make out the tears amidst the rain, but why would he cry for her, hadn't he crushed her note and thrown it in the trash bin. Hadn't he said they would always be strangers, why then had he come looking for her today ?
Nandini, herself trembling with cold and sorrow, pulled him by his arm, "look into my eyes and answer me.. Manik Malhotra... what brings you here today?" She bent her neck back to look him into his eyes, his tall frame towering over her petite little being. "Why does it matter to you whether I go to school or jump down from here?" He just kept staring at her face in silence, as if he was seeing her for the first time. But she couldn't stop asking, she started hitting him on his chest in between heart wrenching wails. And then suddenly he pulled her to him and wrapped her in his arms as she crashed against him.
"Where were you when I was alone, cremating my parents, where were you when I didn't come to school for two months, where were you when I needed you the most...someone to talk to talk to, a shoulder to cry on...Why did you always throw me out like I was unwanted ... why have you showed up today.." Her face was buried deep in his chest, yet her lips couldn't stop complaining. Were her words even reaching him, or was she crying against a wall. His masculine scent wrapped her from all sides much like his strong hands..Nandini was panicking. As much as she hadn't seen this moment coming, she now dreaded that it would soon be over and create another void in her life. He wasn't here to stay, was he, why couldn't he, why could he just stay and say he loved her. Why was she so madly and desperately in love with this boy, why despite being pushed away again and again and again, her yearning would only ever rise.
She dug her nails in his skin and he flinched in pain, loosening his hold on her. She pulled him by his shirt, forcing him to face her.
"It matters!! Nandini, it matters but you won't get it, no one would understand."
"Let me die, Manik, let me just get lost. I am tired of life, I want to sleep."
"Don't you dare say that again..."
"I will, I will say and I will do. Its my life and U are no one to stop me."
He pulled her again, this time more fiercely and before she could utter anything again, he pressed his lips against hers, digging his fingers over her wet kurti, now clinging to her body like a second skin. She wouldn't let him in, he would have to force his way through. But unlike her, his anger didn't show up on his lips, they were gentle, almost too gentle for a angry young man like Manik. Her resolve, broke through as she responded to him like a long starved beggar responds to food. Their lips pressed and probed into each other. What they couldn't speak in words, they complained to each other in silence. Nandini had always fantasized about the 'kiss in the rain', having read in books & seen in movies but she didn't know one day she would be here, in these circumstances. She didn't know that pain could so seamlessly blend into passion, that rain could douse one fire and light up another. This moment was so flawed; there was anger, hurt, tears, a whole grey past between them and yet there was this undeniable spark too. A tiny spark which had the potential to engulf them in its flames.
He broke away...inch by inch...unwilling to give up her lingering taste and took off his blazer to put it on her. "Lets go home" he told her and immediately she knew she had lost him again. But this time she would not step back, no matter what he said or did. She now knew a part of him belonged to her and she would claim it...
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
