Arshi FF: Jeene Laga Hoon (NOTE pg. 68) - Page 35

The following day, the entire Raizada and Sharma families were running around in utter chaos. It was the day of Akash and Payal's wedding. There were last minute preparations that needed to be completed that had everyone running left and right. Nani and Anjali were helping Akash get ready, while NK was with him, trying to give him some last minute advice before they all headed out. Aman was with Aditi, helping her get ready while Anjali helped Akash. Arnav was in his room, getting ready and making a few important phone calls.

It was in the midst of all this chaos at Shantivan that Khushi entered. She had come to borrow some earrings from Anjali. She looked around and noticed how beautifully decorated Shantivan was. Seeing that none of the family members were around, Khushi made her way up the stairs, knowing that they would be in Akash's room, helping him get ready. As she climbed the steps, holding her navy blue lengha up, she wondered if Arnav would be there too. Her mind had constantly replayed their kiss, and she couldn't stop smiling. It was hard to believe that she confessed how she felt about him, and that he seemed to have felt the same too. Granted he hadn't admitted it, but words weren't always needed between them.

Khushi knocked on the door to Akash's room, only to find it open. As she pushed the door in and stepped inside, she couldn't help but laugh at what she saw. NK was spraying Akash with cologne, while Nani and Anjali were talking to Akash at the same time, trying to get him to stay calm for the wedding. Poor Akash was holding his head in his hand, trying to focus on the fact that today was his wedding day. It seemed like he needed to be rescued.

"Di," Khushi said.

Everyone looked up. Anjali smiled seeing Khushi, "Oh, you're here? I thought you would be with Payal."

"I just came from there. I needed to borrow those blue and silver earrings from you, Di. Remember?"

"Oh yeah! Come with me."

Anjali took Khushi into her room, leaving Akash to deal with Nani and NK alone. She went to her jewelry box, looking for the earrings while Khushi stood patiently in the room, watching her while lost in thought about Arnav again. She hadn't even realized Anjali was speaking.

"I'm sorry I forgot about the earrings," Anjali said as she took the piece of jewelry out. "It's just been so hectic, and we've needed every pair of hands. Chote has been busy packing and hasn't been helping."

Khushi broke out of her thoughts, "Huh? Arnav is packing? Why?"

Anjali handed her the earrings and Khushi put them on while Anjali informed her, "Arnav is leaving for India's Fashion Week. Then he'll be heading back to Boston."

Khushi stared at her in shock, a sinking feeling in her chest, "When is he coming back?"

"I don't know." Anjali shrugged her shoulders. "I hope he comes home soon though. I don't want him to be gone as long as last time. Excuse me Khushi, I have to go check and see if everything is ready. I'll see you at the venue."

Anjali left the room, and Khushi slowly stepped out as well. She could feel her heart breaking once again. Her feet dragged down the stairs while her gaze remained on the ground. Her mind was lost once again. Arnav was leaving, and no one knew when or if he would be back. Khushi smiled sadly to herself. How could she have gotten so caught up in her feelings? She had known that Arnav loved his dreams above everything else. She couldn't come in between that. Khushi knew that then in Manali, and she knew it now. No matter how much she wanted to be with him, Khushi knew that being with Arnav wasn't possible. And just like last time, she knew what she would have to do.

The bharaat had arrived just before evening had set in. The small, but lavish venue was located in Delhi, not too far from Shantivan. The Sharmas and many close friends had already arrived. Dressed in a black sherwani with a dark blue collar and gold buttons, Arnav stood with the rest of his family on the groom's side, watching as Akash performed all the rituals for the wedding ceremony. The only thing they were waiting for was the bride, who was just being called by the priest. Payal came down the aisle, dressed in a red lengha choli. Arnav glanced at Akash, who looked completely awestruck by her. It was as if he had forgotten everyone else and was just focusing on her. Arnav shook his head and smiled to himself. NK was right. Akash a gone-.

His thought remained incomplete as Arnav caught sight of the one that made his heart beat faster. Khushi came up next to Payal and put her arm around her shoulder. She was dressed in a navy blue lengha and white choli. Her red dupatta was pinned to her shoulder, while her open hair was pulled to one side and loosely curled. She was so beautiful that Arnav couldn't tear his gaze from her. He realized he shouldn't have spoken so soon about Akash, because his condition was no less than the groom's. And he wasn't even the one getting married!

As Akash and Payal stood together to exchange garlands, Arnav, who stood behind Akash, stared at Khushi, trying to get her to look up at him. As she did, he saw her eyes flicker with an unspoken sadness. She gave him a soft smile to mask her emotions, but he could clearly see right through it. His smile immediately faded. He wondered what was wrong. Before he could silently question her, Khushi dropped her gaze and walked away. This concerned Arnav. Khushi was never the one to hide her feelings, especially from him. He wondered what was bothering her.

Throughout the rest of the wedding, he kept watching Khushi, trying to figure out what was wrong. She smiled and greeted guests and family, but he could clearly see the sadness hidden behind the facade. She came back to the mandap when it was time for Akash and Payal to take their rounds. Arnav managed to make his way beside her. As they threw rice and flowers, he gently nudged her shoulder to get her attention. She glanced at him before looking away, not saying anything or meeting his gaze. That was it. Arnav wondered if she regretted what had happened between them yesterday. Did she not want that to happen? Was she just pretending to be shy? Did she not like it? Whatever the case was, Arnav needed to find out.

Akash and Payal stood in the doorway of Shantivan while Nani did their aarti, welcoming them into the home. Payal tipped over the rice in the kalsa and took her first steps into the home, holding onto Akash all the while. Everyone was clapping and welcoming the new couple in.

"Wait wait!" NK said. "You have to do the thing!"

"What thing?" Payal asked.

"Raizada tradition," Aman said. "Even I had to do it, right Anju?"

Anjali nodded as she rocked Aditi against her chest, "Exactly. Akash, you have to do it."

Payal looked at the Raizadas confused, "What th-aahhh! Akash!"

Akash lifted Payal in his arms in the middle of her sentence. She stared at him, shocked. He looked at her and laughed as he carried her into the house. The rest of the family trailed behind. As Akash took Payal upstairs, Anjali, Aman, and NK followed behind, making sure to got their money from Akash or they wouldn't let him get anywhere near Payal. Khushi was about to follow behind them when Arnav held her hand, stopping her. He had seen her fallen expression all throughout the wedding and on their way back to Shantivan, and he needed to know what was bothering her so much. Making sure that no one saw them, Arnav pulled her with him out to the backyard to the gazebo. Khushi let him take where there, knowing that she needed to talk to him alone.

When they got into the gazebo, Arnav let go of her hand and turned to face her. He observed how she crossed her arms against her chest before looking at him. He saw an unexplainable emotion written across her face, but there was still a sadness that she tried to hide behind that gentle smile.

"Khushi, are you okay?" Arnav asked concernedly.

She looked at him, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You have this sad look on your face. Is it about yesterday night? Do you regret-."

Khushi took a step forward and placed her hand over his mouth, "I'm fine. This isn't about yesterday. I don't regret what happened so don't think that, please."

Arnav smirked behind her hand. He was relieved that she didn't regret what had happened between them. However, he could tell something was still bothering her, but didn't want to probe her further if she wasn't willing to tell him. Without looking away from her, Arnav reached up and grabbed her hand that was covering his mouth. He brought it to his chest and caressed her knuckles with his thumb. Taking a deep breath, he finally built up the courage and spoke the three words that he had been dying to say.

"Arnav I-." Khushi began.

"I love you," Arnav confessed.

Her eyes widened in shock, "Saach?"

He nodded and smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Hearing this, Arnav felt his heart flip. However, just as he was about to lean in and kiss her again, Khushi withdrew her hand from his and stepped back. He looked at her, confused, while she looked everywhere but him. Now, Arnav felt his heart pound anxiously. The sinking feeling in his chest made him feel like something bad was about to happen.

"The thing is...," Khushi said as she met his gaze. "I love you' is just the beginning. Then what happens?"

"What happens, Khushi?" Arnav asked.

"Those two people are unable to handle those three words."

"What are you talking about?"

"When are you leaving?"

Arnav's smile faded as he understood the meaning behind her words. As he saw the sadness now visible in her eyes, he figured out that this is what had been bothering her. She knew that he was going to be leaving soon. What would happen to them once he did? He didn't want to think about that now. They would deal with it later, but right now Arnav just wanted to enjoy the moment with Khushi. He reached forward to grab her hands, and pull her towards him. Her initial hesitation melted as he placed one of her hands on his chest and held the other in his. His free hand went to her waist as he pulled her close. They began moving their feet, dancing slowly in a circle without any music.

"Let's not talk about that right now," Arnav said, desperately trying to change the topic.

"Arnav, let me go. Please," Khushi spoke in a soft voice.

"Nahin."

"Please."

"No."

Khushi looked into his eyes sadly as they slowly danced, "Arnav, I'm a simple girl, and I want to live a simple life. You're not wrong, you're just very different from me. Let me go, please."

Arnav pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, "I can't let you go."

She leaned her head against his chest, a tear slid down her cheek, "Then don't go to Boston. Don't go back to the job you've been working so hard for, that you've been striving for. Don't travel anymore. Because I can't go with you. Payal, my friends and loved ones, my job...it's all here. What can I do?"

Arnav remained silent as Khushi's words sank in. He didn't know what to say. All he knew what that he could feel himself losing her with every word that left her mouth.

She sniffled, "Okay fine, you have to come a visit me twice a year. And I don't want to hear or find out about any affairs...and then in a few years you come back and settle here in Delhi."

He paused, "...Khushi I-."

"Ssshhh," she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.

Arnav held her waist and listened quietly.

"I know, Arnav," she said sadly with a smile against the side of his face. "I understand you. I know what your dreams are and what you want from life. And that's why...we should just forget each other."

Arnav tightened his hold on her waist. He felt the air being vacuumed out of his lungs. He knew she was right. They wanted different things in life. She couldn't drop everything and follow him, nor could he give up everything he worked so hard for. But the thought of losing Khushi...that broke his heart. How could he let go of the one person that knew him better than himself? The one person that made his life better? What could he do? Was there anything he could do now? He felt himself desperately clinging on to the realest thing in his life.

"Bye," Khushi said softly.

"Don't go Khushi," he pleaded. "This feels nice."

"That's why I have to go."

"Five minutes."

"Arnav-."

"Please, five seconds...five seconds, please."

Khushi melted at his plea. Knowing this would be the last time she would see him before he left, she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Arnav as tightly as she could, giving into his warmth one last time. She didn't want it to be this way, but she didn't want to be the one that came between him and his dream. Arnav pulled her so close that there was no space between them. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck as he closed her eyes. No matter what he said now, it wouldn't make a difference. They were just so different and wanted different things. He had lost her before he even had her. The last thing he could do was cherish these five seconds left with her in his arms.

After those five seconds, Khushi composed herself as she slowly pulled herself away from Arnav. She didn't even give him a second glance as she moved away and left. Tears streamed down her face, and she refused to show him how broken she was. That, and if she looked back she would become weak once again and beg him not to go. Khushi didn't want to make him feel bad by showing him her tears. So, she didn't look back. She left and went back into Shantivan to bid goodbye to everyone.

Arnav stood and watched her figure retreat into Shantivan. The unshed tears brimmed his eyes. He stood alone in the gazebo, not believing what had just happened. Just when he had confessed his feelings to her, they had broken up'. Arnav hoped that this was just a really bad dream and he would wake up any minute now. But the pain in his chest told him that he wasn't dreaming. Khushi was really gone, leaving Arnav alone to tend to his broken heart.

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