MaNanff- I've always loved you! (Part 22) 22/08 - Page 8

...

...Well this was the daily routine of Nandini and Ryan.

Nandini's POV.

This is Ryan. The man who loves me. But do I really love him? Isn't this ironical?? I mean every girl introduces her boyfriend as the man she loves but here I am saying he loves me but I don't.

It's not that I don't like him at all. I like him and that's why I am in a relationship with him, but love...I am not too sure about it.

I still remember the day when he proposed me...

Flashback.

Me: Ryan where are you taking me??

Ryan: just 2 more mins Nanz. Please. Have patience sweetheart.

Now what is he upto. Although, I love surprises, but his surprises really annoy me too much. This drama is on since morning. First, he brought me home early, then asked me to get ready in a white knee - length frock with self embroidery on it, which was obviously gifted by him and that too in only half an hour till he comes back. And then this stupid jerk came back an hour later. Finally we got in the car and he tied a scarf around my eyes. Like really!! And he's not even ready to tell me anything.

I was lost in my own thoughts when his voice pulled me out.

Ryan: we've reached pretty lady!!

Me: great! Can I now open the scarf...

Ryan: NO!! Not now.

Aiyappa!! He scared me! Uff.

Then he brought me out of the car and led me to the location.

Ryan: open your eyes Nandini!

He spoke softly while he untied the scarf.

"WOW" were the only words I could utter. This place was so beautiful. Everything around was white. Pure white. Flowers, decorations, curtains, light, and a small table n 2 chairs too. Everything was looking so beautiful.

I took a step forward n noticed something under my feet.

" I LOVE YOU NANDINI " I heard Ryan whisper into my ears as I glanced down to see the same letters written and beautifully covered with white flowers.

Ryan: Nandini, I love you. I really do. I have been feeling this since quite long but thought to confess as its already high time. You're eyes have actually captivated me and there is no way out of it. They...they're like a labyrinth. And trust me when I say this that I completely loose myself in front of you. I just want to take this bestfriends relationship to a new level. Will yo...

I just can't take this anymore.

Me: hold on...Ryan. Hold on. This...thiss is not...possible. I'm sorry...but I don't love you.

This is so difficult to break his heart. But this is a big misunderstanding. He's mistaken my feelings towards him. I withdrew my hand an turned away.

Me: you know na Ryan. You know everything. About me. About Manik. Everything. I don't know why but I am still holding back on him. I just can't do this to you. I am sorry...but I don't love you. I don't wish to break to break your heart by saying these words...but that's truth. I don't have such feelings towards you. I'm extremely sorry, if I've ever made you feel that way or if I gave you any hints or anything. But plzz trust me this was not intensional. I've never felt anything for you that way. You're a very good friend of mine, and I wish to stay that way. Plzz understand.

Saying, I turned back to him.

Ryan: hey sweetheart!! Its completely fine. You don't have to be sorry for anything. You've never done anything. This is completely from my side and whatever I just said are solely my feelings. You've never given any wrong hints. It's ok, if you don't love me, I'm no one to force you right. You're still a free bird but am also not leaving you. Not any sooner.

I let out a slight chuckle listening to him. This guy can never be serious.

Ryan: ok so now we've had enough. Forget everything that happened right now. Come let's have dinner.

Saying this he led me to the table. Truly, the fiest was amazing. One of a kind. Almost all types of dishes were served to us. Am so glad to have a friend like him. But I still feel sad for him. I know how much it hurts when you love someone with all your heart but you don't receive the same feelings from that person.

He dropped me home and went away. No matter how much he is acting all happy and giddy but I know he's not feeling the same in his heart. He is heartbroken '" but am reallly sorry Ryan. I don't love you maybe Manik still has that little place in me. Why even I don't know and I don't want to have this place stored for him.

I spent almost my entire night thinking about this and then slumber took over.

The next morning I woke up and I was too sure about what I have to do. I was determined like never before.

I got ready for office but before office I went to Ryan's place. I entered only to recieve the most annoying scenery in front me. His lazy, sleeping figure. Uff Ayiappa!! Now, it will take another century to wake him up..!!! Why god?? Why me?

Me: Ryan!! Get up na. plzz baba. Get up. Come on sleepy head.!!

Ryan: ummm Nanz. Shoo away. Go. Go to office. But let me sleep.

After alot of rantings and tantrums, Mr. Lazy Head finally woke up.

We had breakfast together when I spoke.

Me: Ryan, I'm ready!

Ryan: ready! For what Nanz??

Me: I think we should get into a relationship.

Ryan: Relationship!!? Are you even in your senses Nandini?

Me: absolutely Ryan. You know I thought about it last night. You remember you said that in one sided loved, one can't force the other one to reciprocate the same feelings. Then why am I still holding back at Manik. Its been 8 yrs, and its more than enough time to let go. I don't want to think about him, don't wanna feel about him. In short, I just want no memories related to him. I wanna start a new life, and am more than comfortable to be with you. Will you help in coming out of it and give me new life full of new memories?? Are you with me in this?

I spoke everything in one go. And he being the sweet one listened

everything obediently.

Flashback end.

And here we are today. In a relationship since 2 yrs now. But I am still not able to love him completely. But the best part was we never felt any awkwardness between us. We still share the same friendly equation. And he respects my decision as he never tried to cross the line and never made me feel uncomfortable. And I respect him with all my heart for that.

Chalo spent much time on memories. Lets sleep.

Nandini's POV ends.

_______________________________________