#5 Arhi FF : Limerence [ Completed ] - Page 11

Limerence : Part 31

"Let me begin from the moment you walked out of our lives. I was a lost eight-year-old boy, who didn't even know the reason for being abandoned by his mother so cruelly. I asked an already tormented dad... I pestered him... I pleaded him to get you back. It was beyond me, that someone who I loved dearly just went away. I was mocked and teased at school. Kids would taunt me about my mother having run away with another man. I did not even understand what it meant then. My confidence plummeted and so did my interest in studies. Do you know how it feels, to time and again be rubbed on the wound, which has scarred you for life? Do you know what it feels to have been asked repeatedly about your mother's whereabouts, and not in an inquisitive manner at all... a taunt... snide remarks that derived this society its sadistic pleasure?"

Arnav moved closer to Maya, yet his eyes seemed to have been clouded by painful memories of a tortured childhood. "It was only dad, who brought me out of my gloom, despite his own sorrow. Overnight, he became my mother as well as my father. He got me ready for school, took care of my meals, attended my PTA meetings, worked hard to earn money for my bright future and made sure that I did not have any thing to complain about... ever. As my nights were filled with nightmares of spiteful comments and mockery, he sat by my bed, cradling me to himself, telling me bedtime stories to divert my mind. He gave me the warmth, after you left me so cold. He brought back my smile that had vanished like you did. He gave me a reason to rise above our circumstances and focus on the future instead of the past."

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "And that was just me. Do you have any idea what you did to dad? You completely broke him, my mother dearest! I have seen his haunted eyes, pretending to look happy, each time he looked at me. He thought I was too young to notice his dark circles, too innocent to realize how lost and lonely he seemed. He never knew, that I had seen him walking listlessly all night in our home, unable to fall asleep. I have seen him staring at your picture for hours together, with tears brimming in his eyes. I have seen him repeatedly look through your wedding album, smiling at memories of moments that were merely a mirage. Rakesh Kapoor did break him with his deceit mother... but it was you who had already broken the man who loved you with all his heart. Did you have no heart, to not be able to look back even once? Not even when he passed away?"

"Arnav..." Maya pleaded, sobbing into her hands. "I... I felt ashamed... guilty... I felt so so horrible. I was in touch with Manu and knew she had taken you home. I hated myself Arnav... I did... I am so sorry... Ajay..." Arnav flared as he heard his father's name along with the overused word... "sorry!" "Sorry? You think a mere word can wipe away all your follies? Really? Was it so small a decision that you thought it would not affect our lives? Your selfish love shattered my beliefs in the word itself mother. I have grown up detesting it, unsure if such kind of feelings truly existed. And if they did, then why did it make one so self-centered? It was only when maasi brought me here, that I actually started seeing a different side to this emotion..."

Arnav paused taking in a deep breath and turning away from his inconsolable mother, who he was not willing to offer any sympathy, atleast in this heated moment. "After dad passed away, I had lost all hope of happiness. I realized that this world was an extremely greedy and selfish place, ruled by money and nothing else. Rakesh Kapoor's betrayal, was really my breaking point when I was left homeless and all alone to fend for myself. Did maasi not call you to tell you about it? Why did you not once bother to check on you son maa? What kind of guilt was bigger than a concern for a son? It was maasi, who brought me here. Loved me, cared for me, healed me, gave me two brothers and a loving father once again. It was her, who changed my thinking and altered my beliefs about the world and it's functioning. It was she who first laid the foundations of love, once again into my despairing heart."

"Do you even realize how badly you had scarred me? I abhorred the word maa and feared that if I ever call anyone by that name, they would leave me and go as well. Since forever... I have been desperately craving to call maasi... as maa. The woman who brought home a desolate child and loved him more than her own sons, who brought him up with ethics and kindness and who taught him that selflessness still existed in the world... that was maasi for me. My mother in true sense. You know how scared I have been to call her "maa"... a word a mother craves to hear since the time her baby is born. Maasi has waited for years, for me to utter that one word... and I have procrastinated like a coward."

Arnav turned around and looked past Maya, to see Manorama sobbing against a distraught Khushi. She had heard him... and for once he was thankful for this timing. It would have taking even more time, for his maasi to know his true feelings. In his heart, he had embraced her like his mother years ago. It was only the word, which was not daring enough to slip out of his heart. He walked pass Maya and engulfed his maasi into his arms and kissed her forehead. She sobbed against him, as the emotional dam she had held together for years, finally burst open. He looked at a teary eyed Khushi and drew strength from the gentle squeeze of her fingers over his trembling arms.

Pulling away from the hug, he wiped Manorama's tears and shook his head in denial, gesturing her to not cry anymore. Once again turning to face Maya, he sighed and said, "I did not understand and value love then. But I know what love is now. I know what it means to love and be loved back. I realize the depths and heights of what this four letter word encompasses... but to me... it has changed me for the better, made me see the world in a different perspective, made me more caring towards everyone, if that is even possible. Then how did your love make you so selfish? It truly amazes me. Anyways, there has been too much water that has run under the bridge. Too many things have happened. I have moved on and your existence has merely remained as some fragments... that bring back only hurtful memories."

Maya braced herself for her son's decision, though she had already anticipated the outcome, much before she had even landed in India. However, she would not waver from saying what she had come here for. All his words had not only pierced her heart, it had given her a clear picture of a life, she had refused to look back on... scared to see the damage she had caused. Yes! She was a coward. She had run away from a world that had suffocated her, fearing that it would consume her happiness. And her selfishness, had led to the destruction of two men, who had loved her unconditionally. Love... hadn't she been disillusioned by that word and drifted along with its delusion. Only when she had reached out to touch it, it had dissipated into nothingness... leaving her cold and alone, once again. It was when her dream had broken and she had awakened from a nightmarish slumber, that she had truly realized what love meant. The unconditional love that Ajay had for her was something that she started craving for. However, guilt and shame had made her live the life she had chosen for herself and would have to return to, even now.

She gave a cynical laugh, drawing the attention of all three present in the vast hall. "Maya... my name means love and affection... something that I have been incapable of... leaving me hollow, with an echo of the other meaning of my name... an illusion. My love had been an illusion Arnav and a few years after I thought I was happily settled in London, I experienced exactly what Ajay must have, at the time I left him. I was left all alone to fend for a two-year-old baby and myself... for the first time realizing what I had lost, for something that was never mine. With what face would I have come for Ajay's funeral? What right did I have to come back into your lives? When Manu called me a few days ago, I have no idea why, but all those feelings, the craving to see you all grown up, resurfaced from somewhere deep within. I wanted to be a silent spectator to your engagement, without letting you know of my presence. It was only because of Manu's insistence, that I am now here."

Maya walked towards a teary-eyed Manorama and hugged her. "Manu... my dearest sister, who despite all my follies has forgiven me this chance that I don't deserve. She raised my son so beautifully, who makes me proud and happy. You are his mother in the truest form Manu... I could never compete with you," Maya said truthfully. Manorama simply shook her head in denial, her throat clogged with unshed tears. "Nahi didi... please..." she whispered. Maya caressed her head and said, "Haan Manu... you are Arnav's mother in every sense. Even though Devaki gave birth to Krishna, he would forever be called Yashoda's son and Arnav, yours. I had come here to see my daughter-in-law and I am truly thrilled with his choice. I see that she has brought him out of our treacherous history... making him believe in love once again... a belief I seem to have broken years ago. I am a very happy woman today."

Turning towards Arnav she said, "My life is full of regrets Arnav but I want yours to be trouble free. Always remain happy and love Khushi a little more each day. I am sure you both will be as beautiful a couple as Manu and Manohar are. They have been your role models and I hope their happiness reflects in yours." Arnav was about to say something, when a sleepy voice startled all of them. "Mom, why didn't you wake me..." a young, beautiful girl said, walking out of one of the guest rooms. And then a loud scream broke through the gloom. "Bhaiii... I finally get to meet you!" she screamed bouncing towards a shocked Arnav and lunging onto him.

Arnav staggered back at the impact, as she hugged him with vigor, her happiness breaking the silence engulfing him. Off course he had a baby sister! He should have seen this coming. It immediately changed the direction of his thoughts. How could he make another innocent soul suffer, due to these intricacies of relationships and reality of life? She pulled away from the hug, leaving him still in daze of his thoughts. Thrusting her hand forward for a handshake, she said cheerily, completely unaware of his ashen face, "Hi, I am Anjie... Anjali actually. I have heard so much about you bhai. I have googled and read up all about you and your achievements. Actually only because I am your total fan, I am pursuing fashion in London. In fact my current project is inspired from your latest bridal line."

"Anjie, come here beta. Gather your belongings, we need to go," Maya said a little embarrassed by Anjali's untimely entry. "But I just met bhai... I have so much to talk to him!" Anjali whined, in her British accent, unaware of the undercurrents around her. "Didi, you can't leave. You have to stay back... for tomorrow," Manorama pleaded, looking at Arnav, trying to gauze his thoughts. He refused to meet her eyes unfortunately. After a moments silence Maya said softly, "Just pack your stuff Anjie. We need to get back to the hotel." Anjali made a face yet turned around to go to the room, to gather her things.

Turning to Arnav, Maya said, "It was me who took the decision to walk out of your life years ago... a decision that only brought you sorrow. But I know, that today when I walk away, you will be at peace. I always prayed for your happiness beta, and see... happiness is right in front of you, to be with you, all your life. I am glad to have come here... to share my sorrows and hear yours. Although it has broken me a little more that what I was, I know that these wounds will heal with time, knowing that you are happy and successful in your life. If you could find the heart to forgive your mother... ever... please..." Her words crumbled to pieces, just like she did, unable to stand on her feet. It was Khushi who held her by the shoulder and leant support to the old woman.

Khushi looked at Arnav, knowing well what his heart was about to say and gave a soft nod for him to go ahead. "I forgive you. I think it is the only way I can be set free from the shackles of my past. I have lived my life for too long, walking on the remains of it. It is time for me to move on as well. However, my heart does not recognize you as my mother anymore and I am truly sorry for it. Blood ties may be strong, but threads that bind two hearts are eternal and it is only because of you that I have realized the difference. So thank you and I wish for your happiness as well. If you ever need anything, I will always be around for you. You don't have to be ashamed to face any of us again. We are family and will always be."

Saying that Arnav bent to touch Maya's feet, to take her blessings. He knew that his father would have wanted him to give his mother the same respect that she would have deserved, had she never left. It was for his father and his love for his wife that made this decision seem so easy. Khushi bent down as well, besides Arnav, touching her mother-in-law's feet. Maya could not hold back her tears, as she blessed her children, wishing them all the happiness of the world and a very long lifetime together. Anjali returned to see this and rushed towards her brother. "Oh ho! Stop crying all of you'll. I meet my family for the first time, don't get to spend time with them and now everyone is crying buckets. Anyways, bhai..."

Arnav looked at this cheerful girl, who had eyes similar to his. She was a replica of him and her exuberance was contagious. He smiled at her in encouragement as she continued, "Bhai, this is my number and email id. Please please please get in touch with me; otherwise I will have to hunt you down once again. Mom had strictly warned me from troubling you... but what can I do? You are my idol and someday I would love to work at AR Designs. Or better still, why don't you branch out in London." Arnav could only laugh at her dreams and aspirations and no person with a heart, could deny her.

He took the paper from her and said jokingly, "You wont have to hunt me down. I will get back to you, I promise. Take care of yourself ok." Anjali hugged him once more; used to being physically expressive all her life and this time Arnav reciprocated with an uncomfortable hug in return. Maya hugged her sister once, kissed Khushi's forehead and patted Arnav shoulder, taking her fill of her family, who would be there for her... despite all her misgivings. Tomorrow was a big day for Arnav, and even though a tiny part of her wanted to stay back for the engagement, she knew she was not whole-heartedly welcome yet. There was too much history to be forgotten within a day. But with time, she knew things would be all right.

As the two left, Arnav finally slumped onto the sofa, the weight of the words spoken and heard, exhausting him. He buried his face in his hands, his heart plauged with memories, with words that broke... yet healed. How was that even possible? Manorama sat besides him and ran her wrinkled fingers through his hair. It was this touch that Arnav had been craving for so long. He looked at his maasi and silently laid his head on her lap, finally giving in to the emotional upheaval of the last few hours. Tears that had remained absent so far, leaked from the corner of his eyes, pouring all his anguish... washing away all the hatred, the pain, the ghosts of the past and any resentment he felt towards Maya. It was only in the arms of someone who you really love, would you open up so freely. And in this moment, he was closest to the woman who was his mother.

"Maa... can I call you maa, maasi?" he asked like a small child, with bright hopeful eyes. Manorama's heart overflowed with emotion and all she could reply was, "I have waited for years to hear that sacred word from you Arnav... say it... just say it once." Arnav looked at her and pulled her into a hug, clinging onto his mother like a small child. "Maa... meri maa," he whispered again and again, letting the words seep into his soul, a soothing nectar to his parched heart.

The warmth of Maya's arms, the cocoon of her lullaby's, her mollifying words seemed to be blurred... almost invisible. All that he remembered was his maasi's comforting hugs, her loving gestures, her habit of overfeeding him the delicious food she cooked especially for him, her concern for his slightest discomfort, her fighting against everyone to support him, her prayers for his happiness and a million other memories seemed to have made a permanent place in his heart. Wasn't that what a child craved from his mother? Unconditional love and a loving hand to pat him when upset. He felt Manorama, patting his back lovingly, sniffing to control her own tears.

Pulling away from the hug she wiped his tears and asked gently, "You are not upset with me, are you... for calling Maya home? I just..." Arnav rushed to silence her, before she apologized to him. "You did right maa. I needed this closure. She needed this confrontation. Sometimes silences leave a permanent void in your heart that subconsciously remains as a scar. I have never felt this free and happy. Somehow the bitterness seems to have vanished leaving me a happy man, maa. I am really very happy," Arnav said, as Manorama wiped his teary face with her saree pallu. It was such a melodramatic and filmy gesture, unlike what Arnav had ever experienced, that he could not stop himself from chuckling.

"What is so funny?" Manorama asked inquisitively. He shook his head and said, "Nothing! Now you look like a typical Bollywood mother, wiping away my tears with your saree. Next I think, if I get a cut on my hand, you will tear the end and tie it around my wound." Manorama gasped at his audacity to joke in such emotional times, and yet felt relieved to see him so unlike his usual self. He really seemed happy and free. It seemed like a right decision after all.

Arnav's attention was diverted to the other woman in the room, who seemed to have remained a silent spectator throughout the last few hours. He would get his alone time with her, to revel in her love and care. But for now, he had to see that twinkle back into her teary eyes and for that, he was ready to do, just about anything. "I think we have had enough of crying for the day. Tomorrow is my engagement for god's sakes! There is so much to do and I can't look like crap for it. And look at your face maa... it looks swollen. You will definitely have to visit the parlor. And just look at my beloved soon-to-be fiance... her puffy eyes and red nose. What is wrong with you women! Go freshen up and get me some food. I am famished," he said playfully, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

Even as he said these words for Manorama and Khushi to make a move, he could help but pull the two of them closer to himself, enveloping his world into his arms... a home that he had always craved amidst four walls... was finally here... in his arms... close to his heart... where it should be. "Chalo hato! Let me go and see what more needs to be done for dinner. It is almost time for the troublesome threesome to be home. Nandu will annoy me with his food demands if nothing is ready," Manorama rambled, moving out of Arnav's arms and leaving the duo alone for a while. She knew the two of them needed to talk... or atleast be there for one another. Wasn't that how even amidst the crowd, she always looked out for Manohar to seek comfort?

The moment they were alone, Arnav pulled Khushi into his arms and breathed in her essence, calming his weary nerves. Just by holding her to him, he felt content and at peace. He heard her mumble into his chest, "Aap theek hai, Arnavji?" He smiled into her hair, as she asked a question that was his trademark. Pulling away he scanned around the room and noticing no one around, gave her a quick kiss on her parted lips. She gasped in surprise and looked away embarrassed. "Ab main bilkul theek hoon," he said. Pulling her again into a hug, he whispered, "Thank you Khushi... for being my strength, for loving me and making me realize what love is. Thank you for just being there. I can't wait to officially get engaged to you, so that no one can doubt our relationship... ever! And maybe even a quick marriage post that..."

Khushi looked at him in utter shock and he simply smirked in return. Knowing well what he had just said, Arnav pulled Khushi towards his room, wanting to spend a few private moments with her, before his crazy family barged in to disturb them. He felt happy and more confident in his love. Wasn't that how destiny moulded you? The twists and turns in life, shape you, change your beliefs and transform your ideologies. The experiences are enlightening, even though they seem to torment you throughout it all.

That night Khushi slept with a smile on her face and it was a mere reflection of Arnav's smile. He seemed to have finally reconciled with his past, just like she had and she could not have been more thankful for its timing. As they would embark on a new journey towards a glorious future, it was better to leave the baggage far behind. Her eyes seemed to be dancing in excitement, refusing her urges to close them in slumber. She was getting engaged after all... a dream she had refused to see while awake, and dreaded to dream while asleep. This was her reality... vivacious, beautiful and lovely reality. She was soon going to be Arnav Singh Raizada's fiance and she could not wait for the celebrations to begin.

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Part 32

A request : Please check Page 4 of this thread to read the beautiful poem -fullmoon- has written on this story. It is perfect! 🤗